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Paperback
First published January 1, 1983
“Un gran poeta dijo cierta vez que el amor entra por los ojos. Uno tiene que tener cuidado para no ver demasiado. Uno debe dominar sus apetitos. El mundo es demasiado hermoso para la mayoría de nosotros."... por encima de todos ellos reina Francis Phelan, el gran protagonista que la hace inolvidable. Un personaje que sufre y se lamenta, no por lo que el destino le haya hurtado, sino por no sentirse merecedor de ello. Un personaje que se niega a sí mismo cualquier atisbo de felicidad y que parece evitar su muerte únicamente por no detener el castigo del que se siente merecedor. Un vagabundo que hace de la huida una forma inútil de sobrellevar su dolor, aun consciente de que esa huida es también un castigo en sí mismo tanto para él como para los que le quieren. Un personaje al que su propia ética y su estricto cumplimiento le ha expulsado de la sociedad a un terreno donde solo queda preocuparse por la comida de ese día, por donde dormirá esa noche y por quién le proporcionará el siguiente trago... o eso es lo que él quisiera.
“Ha vivido diciéndose: creo de veras que estoy haciendo más o menos lo correcto. Creo en Dios. Saludo a la bandera. Me lavo los sobacos y la entrepierna, ¿y qué si bebo demasiado? ¿A quién le importa eso? ¿Quién sabe cuánto no he bebido?”Ahora, tras 22 años de fuga, Francis vuelve a su ciudad, a su casa, con su mujer y sus hijos, y ahí empieza la novela. Una vuelta que nos es narrada en una magistral combinación de realidad, ensoñaciones, flashbacks y alucinaciones; diálogos fantásticos junto a párrafos de un emotivo lirismo sin que falten la ternura, la crueldad, la dureza o el humor, incluso a veces todo junto, como en las últimas páginas.
. . . this drunk was not dead, not dying, but living an epilogue to a notable life. And yet, and yet . . . here he was, disguised behind a mustache, another cripple, his ancient, weary eyes revealing to Francis the scars of a blood brother, a man for whom life had been a promise unkept in spite of a great success, a promise now and forever unkeepable. The man was singing a song that had grown old not from time but from wear. The song is frayed. The song is worn out. (49-50)
If you love something well enough, Grandmother Archer told Helen when the weakness was upon her, you will die for it; for when we love with all our might, our silly little selves are already dead and we have no more fear of dying. (118)
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I shall bring together highlights about Francis, then Helen, and their friends randomly in the mix. I hope that reading these you'll be drawn to the whole two hundred pages of the book, and perhaps even love it as much as I do.
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Francis (our man)—Rudy (a friend he's only known for about two weeks, a bum, and an idiot)—Oscar (once a radioman, then fallen from glory into the not-so-bad position of a barman):
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Francis remembered trolleys as intimately as he remembered the shape of his father’s face, for he had seen them at loving closeness through all his early years. Trolleys dominated his life the way trains had dominated his father’s. He had worked on them at the North Albany carbarns for years, could take them apart in the dark. He’d even killed a man over them in 1901 during the trolley strike. Terrific machines, but now they’re goin’.
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These reminiscences by Francis evoked from Rowdy Dick an envy that surpassed reason. Why should any man be so gifted not only with so much pleasurable history but also with a gift of gab that could mesmerize a quintet of bums around a fire under a bridge? Why were there no words that would unlock what lay festering in the heart of Rowdy Dick Doolan, who needed so desperately to express what he could never even know needed expression?
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“I think you could be a charmin’ man,” Jack said, “if you’d only get straight. You could have twenty dollars in your pocket at all times, make fifty, seventy-five a week, have a beautiful apartment with everything you want in it, all you want to drink, once you get straight.”
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What was it, Oscar, that did you in? Would you like to tell us all about it? Do you know? It wasn’t Gerald who did me. It wasn’t drink and it wasn’t baseball and it wasn’t really Mama. What was it that went bust, Oscar, and how come nobody ever found out how to fix it?
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And further, the attention that the bums, the swells, the waiters, were giving the man, proved that this drunk was not dead, not dying, but living an epilogue to a notable life. And yet, and yet… here he was, disguised behind a mustache, another cripple, his ancient, weary eyes revealing to Francis the scars of a blood brother, a man for whom life had been a promise unkept in spite of great success, a promise now and forever unkeepable. The man was singing a song that had grown old not from time but from wear. The song is frayed. The song is worn out.
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“That’s the fella,” said Pee Wee. “He blew the big time on booze, but he dried out and tends bar now. At least he’s livin’, even if it ain’t what it was.”
“Pee Wee and me pitched a drunk with him in New York. Two, three days, wasn’t it, Pee?”
“Mighta been a week,” Pee Wee said. “None of us was up to keepin’ track. But he sang a million tunes and played piano everyplace they had one. Most musical drunk I ever see.”
“I used to sing his songs,” Helen said. “‘Hindustan Lover’ and ‘Georgie Is My Apple Pie’ and another one, a grand ballad, ‘Under the Peach Trees with You.’ He wrote wonderful, happy songs and I sang them all when I was singing.”
“I didn’t know you sang,” Pee Wee said.
“Well I most certainly sang, and played piano very well too. I was getting a classical education in music until my father died. I was at Vassar.”
“Albert Einstein went to Vassar,” Rudy said.
“You goofy bastard,” said Francis.
“Went there to make a speech. I read it in the papers.”
“He could have,” Helen said. “Everybody speaks at Vassar. It just happens to be one of the three best schools in the world.”
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By then the bus was at Madison Avenue and Broadway, and Rudy and Francis stepped out into the frosty darkness of six o’clock on, the final night of October 1938, the unruly night when grace is always in short supply, and the old and the new dead walk abroad in this land.
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He (Rudy) was simple, hopeless and lost, as lost as Francis himself, though somewhat younger, dying of cancer, afloat in ignorance, weighted with stupidity, inane, sheeplike, and given to fits of weeping over his lostness; and yet there was something in him that buoyed Francis’s spirit. They were both questing for the behavior that was proper to their station and their unutterable dreams. They both knew intimately the etiquette, the taboos, the protocol of bums. By their talk to each other they understood that they shared a belief in the brotherhood of the desolate; yet in the scars of their eyes they confirmed that no such fraternity had ever existed, that the only brotherhood they belonged to was the one that asked that enduring question: How do I get through the next twenty minutes? They feared drys, cops, jailers, bosses, moralists, crazies, truth-tellers, and one another. They loved storytellers, liars, whores, fighters, singers, collie dogs that wagged their tails, and generous bandits. Rudy, thought Francis: he’s just a bum, but who ain’t?
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He walked with an empty soul toward the north star, magnetized by an impulse to redirect his destiny. He had slept in the weeds of a South End vacant lot too many times. He would do it no more.
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Helen (our heroine, Francis's woman, once a promising student of music, who still can experience great art (she swoons to Beethoven's mighty Ninth on page 131) now also a bum, yet she can still sing. She has a tumor in her the size of a pregnancy, and on the night of the book she's readying herself for death in one of Old Donovan's boarding rooms):
Helen … has always appreciated the fine things in life: music, kind words, gentility, flowers, sunshine, and good men. People would feel sad if they knew what Helen’s life might have been like had it gone in another direction than the one that brought her to this room.
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She went through her life feeling: I really do believe I am doing the more-or-less right thing. I believe in God. I salute the flag. I wash my armpits and between my legs, and what if I did drink too much? Whose business is that? Who knows how much I didn’t drink?
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Why was it, really, that things never seemed to work out?
Why was Helen’s life always turning into some back alley, like a wandering old cat?
What is Helen?
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Francis is somewhere now, alone, and even Helen doesn’t love him anymore. Doesn’t. For everything about love is dead now, wasted by weariness.