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to remember love, two promises that led me to the notes in the ashes
"to remember love" two promises that led me to the notes in the ashes
lived and written by Tonya Ferguson
"This Book Is An Umbrella To Hold On Your Stormiest Days"
"to remember love," is truly "A Book With A Heartbeat." You will feel it come to life within you, with each page you turn. This is a book that knows no boundaries. Men and women, 15-115 years old, can only come away changed after reading the heart of this Author. Tonya's words gives the term "unconditional love," a whole new meaning. Anyone who has experienced the tragedies of real life, the joy of real love, and the heartbreak of real loss, will gain truth, compassion, comfort, and encouragement from this book. You will see someone that's in your life on the pages of "to remember love." As we're rapidly becoming a Caregiving Nation, this is "one of those books" you will continue to buy and give to people you care about, as a source of healing.
From The
As far back as I can remember my mother had a dream of one day writing a book. She told the best stories when I was a child and I believe she really did have a book in her that needed to be written. How were any of us to know that before she would be able to fulfill her dream she would be dealt such a horribly cruel blow. I guess in some ironic way my mom's dream did come true, but with one major twist. Instead of writing her book she "became" her book.
From The
I'm not sure of the exact day or time it became a member of my family. I do know that by the time it made itself known, it had already been with us for several years. I don't remember the exact moment things turned from being something I could easily explain away, to the crushing reality there was an unwelcome stranger, intruding itself into my family. I just remember the moment I realized how much I despised this horrible thing that had forced itself into our lives.
~ From page 5 of "to remember love" ~
No matter how hard I try, I'm unable to "organize" this experience in my life. There isn't a file cabinet big enough to file this away. I feel like I'm sitting in a tiny rowboat in the middle of a huge ocean and I don't have any oars. I'm at the mercy of everything going on around me and I have absolutely no control of the situation at all. What a helpless, hopeless feeling.
~ From page 10 of "to remember love" ~
I'm not sure I will ever be able to express to anyone how that made us feel. Most children know their parents love them and believe in them. What our parents were willing to do for us, however, went way beyond the "call of duty" for any parent. For them to completely give up everything they had worked for their entire lives, so we could reach for our dream, means more to me than words will ever be able to express. There's no way to ever give back to them what they gave up for us. I honestly feel like if there was such a thing as loving so much it hurt, my mother and father would have lived their lives in excruciating pain.
~ From page 14 of "to remember love" ~
My black hole really began on Monday evening, January 12, 1998. I wasn't even close to being prepared for the kind of sadness I was about to walk into. I'm not talking about the kind of sadness you might feel if you lost your wedding ring, got fired from your job, your dog ran away, or you had to move away from all of your friends and family. The kind of sadness I'm talking about doesn't even have a definition listed in the dictionary. I think it's because there really aren't any words that can describe this type of sadness. You see, this kind of sadness permeates every fiber of your being, from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. It becomes as much a part of you as the very beating of your heart. It becomes your every breath. That's the kind of sadness I'm talking about.
lived and written by Tonya Ferguson
"This Book Is An Umbrella To Hold On Your Stormiest Days"
"to remember love," is truly "A Book With A Heartbeat." You will feel it come to life within you, with each page you turn. This is a book that knows no boundaries. Men and women, 15-115 years old, can only come away changed after reading the heart of this Author. Tonya's words gives the term "unconditional love," a whole new meaning. Anyone who has experienced the tragedies of real life, the joy of real love, and the heartbreak of real loss, will gain truth, compassion, comfort, and encouragement from this book. You will see someone that's in your life on the pages of "to remember love." As we're rapidly becoming a Caregiving Nation, this is "one of those books" you will continue to buy and give to people you care about, as a source of healing.
From The
As far back as I can remember my mother had a dream of one day writing a book. She told the best stories when I was a child and I believe she really did have a book in her that needed to be written. How were any of us to know that before she would be able to fulfill her dream she would be dealt such a horribly cruel blow. I guess in some ironic way my mom's dream did come true, but with one major twist. Instead of writing her book she "became" her book.
From The
I'm not sure of the exact day or time it became a member of my family. I do know that by the time it made itself known, it had already been with us for several years. I don't remember the exact moment things turned from being something I could easily explain away, to the crushing reality there was an unwelcome stranger, intruding itself into my family. I just remember the moment I realized how much I despised this horrible thing that had forced itself into our lives.
~ From page 5 of "to remember love" ~
No matter how hard I try, I'm unable to "organize" this experience in my life. There isn't a file cabinet big enough to file this away. I feel like I'm sitting in a tiny rowboat in the middle of a huge ocean and I don't have any oars. I'm at the mercy of everything going on around me and I have absolutely no control of the situation at all. What a helpless, hopeless feeling.
~ From page 10 of "to remember love" ~
I'm not sure I will ever be able to express to anyone how that made us feel. Most children know their parents love them and believe in them. What our parents were willing to do for us, however, went way beyond the "call of duty" for any parent. For them to completely give up everything they had worked for their entire lives, so we could reach for our dream, means more to me than words will ever be able to express. There's no way to ever give back to them what they gave up for us. I honestly feel like if there was such a thing as loving so much it hurt, my mother and father would have lived their lives in excruciating pain.
~ From page 14 of "to remember love" ~
My black hole really began on Monday evening, January 12, 1998. I wasn't even close to being prepared for the kind of sadness I was about to walk into. I'm not talking about the kind of sadness you might feel if you lost your wedding ring, got fired from your job, your dog ran away, or you had to move away from all of your friends and family. The kind of sadness I'm talking about doesn't even have a definition listed in the dictionary. I think it's because there really aren't any words that can describe this type of sadness. You see, this kind of sadness permeates every fiber of your being, from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. It becomes as much a part of you as the very beating of your heart. It becomes your every breath. That's the kind of sadness I'm talking about.
198 pages, Paperback
First published November 30, 2011
2 people are currently reading
185 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
January 7, 2012
HERE ARE SOME READER'S QUOTES ABOUT "to remember love"
"I could actually feel what the author felt because of the words she used."
"I was challenged in my faith and encouraged in my faith."
"A wonderful true-life story that will take you from your darkness of despair to your daylight of deliverance."
"Thank you, Tonya...this story truly changed the way I am looking at my RELATIONSHIP with God and the Gifts He has given me."
"It was so good! I cried, and cried, and cried! And when I finished, I called my mom and CRIED!!! I LOVED it!"
"Because Tonya Ferguson, was so good at conveying her raw emotions, I was easily able to think about how I would feel. It made me want to run home and hug my parents."
"I saw cracks in the walls of my relationship with my Savior that NEED to be filled. This book encouraged me to make my prayer life ACTIVE every second of EVERY day."
"This book is relatable on so many levels of life's circumstances. You don't have to have lived this exact story to gain insight and encouragement."
"I thought about the gifts God has given me. Am I using those gifts to further God's Kingdom? Am I living in such a way that's glorifying to Him? Not always. This book shoved that in my face in SUCH a great way! I was forced to challenge myself with those questions."
"to remember love" shows you that the rainbow always comes at the end of the storm."
"I know everyone in the book and have lived the bond you all share up close and personal, but I also believe that strangers will also feel the bond because it is written so clearly and lovingly."
"One of my favorite sentences of the book is,"I have decided that the word DYING only pertains to the person it is happening to." What an insight...the whole paragraph is amazing and TRUTH!"
"You did a great job communicating that freedom we should all feel in how we handle something."
"To be honest...I had NO idea of the depth of struggles associated with Alzheimer's. No idea at all."
"I love, love, love how God gave you the perfect verses to go along with your personal journey and the chapter you were writing...He is amazing!"
"I could actually feel what the author felt because of the words she used."
"I was challenged in my faith and encouraged in my faith."
"A wonderful true-life story that will take you from your darkness of despair to your daylight of deliverance."
"Thank you, Tonya...this story truly changed the way I am looking at my RELATIONSHIP with God and the Gifts He has given me."
"It was so good! I cried, and cried, and cried! And when I finished, I called my mom and CRIED!!! I LOVED it!"
"Because Tonya Ferguson, was so good at conveying her raw emotions, I was easily able to think about how I would feel. It made me want to run home and hug my parents."
"I saw cracks in the walls of my relationship with my Savior that NEED to be filled. This book encouraged me to make my prayer life ACTIVE every second of EVERY day."
"This book is relatable on so many levels of life's circumstances. You don't have to have lived this exact story to gain insight and encouragement."
"I thought about the gifts God has given me. Am I using those gifts to further God's Kingdom? Am I living in such a way that's glorifying to Him? Not always. This book shoved that in my face in SUCH a great way! I was forced to challenge myself with those questions."
"to remember love" shows you that the rainbow always comes at the end of the storm."
"I know everyone in the book and have lived the bond you all share up close and personal, but I also believe that strangers will also feel the bond because it is written so clearly and lovingly."
"One of my favorite sentences of the book is,"I have decided that the word DYING only pertains to the person it is happening to." What an insight...the whole paragraph is amazing and TRUTH!"
"You did a great job communicating that freedom we should all feel in how we handle something."
"To be honest...I had NO idea of the depth of struggles associated with Alzheimer's. No idea at all."
"I love, love, love how God gave you the perfect verses to go along with your personal journey and the chapter you were writing...He is amazing!"
Read
December 12, 2012This is a poignant story about the author's journey of losing both her parents. First she lost her father suddenly, then a few years later she had to take care of her mother with Alzheimer's disease and watch her slowly pass away. With the love of her family, and her faith in God to help her through it, she comes out stronger and more appreciative about life in general and God in specific.
It's a book for the caretakers of aging parents. You're not alone in your struggles.
I listened to the audio book. The author has a pleasant voice and you can feel her emotions as she's reading it. In some places, she stops reading because it hurts so much. But there also many instances you can tell are happy memories for her.
It's a book for the caretakers of aging parents. You're not alone in your struggles.
I listened to the audio book. The author has a pleasant voice and you can feel her emotions as she's reading it. In some places, she stops reading because it hurts so much. But there also many instances you can tell are happy memories for her.
February 29, 2012
Full disclosure: free review copy received via Goodreads.
An absoluet necessity for anyone who has experienced family loss or illness. Tonya chronicles the death of her father and the gradual decline of her mother to Alzheimer's Disease. Her story will make the reader laugh and cry; but most of all, it will make one realize that Alzheimer's is not just an individual illness but a family illness. Tonya describes how her family's devotion helped her mother maintain her quality of life for nearly ten years. Her love of Christian music helped to sustain Tonya during this time and she has included many of her song lyrics for the reader. I highly recommend this book.
An absoluet necessity for anyone who has experienced family loss or illness. Tonya chronicles the death of her father and the gradual decline of her mother to Alzheimer's Disease. Her story will make the reader laugh and cry; but most of all, it will make one realize that Alzheimer's is not just an individual illness but a family illness. Tonya describes how her family's devotion helped her mother maintain her quality of life for nearly ten years. Her love of Christian music helped to sustain Tonya during this time and she has included many of her song lyrics for the reader. I highly recommend this book.
October 6, 2015
This is one of those books that really make you think. And it will be one of the few books that I know I will read again. My grandfather had alzheimers but I lived 1000 miles away so did not see him at the worst stage. I'm glad that I will always remember that July when we left and I gave him a hug and kiss goodbye. It was hard because you knew it wasn't the Grandpop I knew yet he still knew us and was at home.
Excellent book and would recommend to anyone regardless of the alzheimers. There is still plenty to get out of the book! I was lucky enough to win this through Goodreads Giveaways. Thanks!
Excellent book and would recommend to anyone regardless of the alzheimers. There is still plenty to get out of the book! I was lucky enough to win this through Goodreads Giveaways. Thanks!
January 20, 2012
I tried to put off reading this book because I really didn't want to be reminded of my own mother's battle with Alzheimer's and it is a very cruel disease. But as I started to read I felt an immediate connection with Tonya I read the book in one afternoon I just couldn't put it down. For anyone who is put into the position as a caregiver I highly recommend this book her writing comes across as warm, compassionate and very real.
January 25, 2012
This book is so sweet and sad and hopeful. My favorite part was when the mother couldn't remember words so she made up her own. So sweet but so sad. I am almost to the point of having to take care of my parents so this book hits home. I hope I am as patient and loving as Tonya was. Great read. Thank you for sharing.
December 14, 2012
A new friend of mine that I have met, wrote this story of her journey of losing her dad and then 9 years later losing her mom. Anyone who has someone that has alzheimers, or dememtia and is also their caregiver will love this story. Its kind of like looking in a window of your life. I know it was for me. Give it a try, you won't be disappointed..
June 4, 2012
ms ferguson actually sent me this book, but i've been so busy. If you're reading this, sorry this review is so late! she signed it beautifully for me, and it's also autographed. i have to read this again in the summer, to do this review justice. i will, don't worry
January 7, 2012
HERE ARE SOME READER'S QUOTES ABOUT "to remember love"
"I could actually feel what the author felt because of the words she used."
"I was challenged in my faith and encouraged in my faith."
"A wonderful true-life story that will take you from your darkness of despair to your daylight of deliverance."
"Thank you, Tonya...this story truly changed the way I am looking at my RELATIONSHIP with God and the Gifts He has given me."
"It was so good! I cried, and cried, and cried! And when I finished, I called my mom and CRIED!!! I LOVED it!"
"Because Tonya Ferguson, was so good at conveying her raw emotions, I was easily able to think about how I would feel. It made me want to run home and hug my parents."
"I saw cracks in the walls of my relationship with my Savior that NEED to be filled. This book encouraged me to make my prayer life ACTIVE every second of EVERY day."
"This book is relatable on so many levels of life's circumstances. You don't have to have lived this exact story to gain insight and encouragement."
"I thought about the gifts God has given me. Am I using those gifts to further God's Kingdom? Am I living in such a way that's glorifying to Him? Not always. This book shoved that in my face in SUCH a great way! I was forced to challenge myself with those questions."
"to remember love" shows you that the rainbow always comes at the end of the storm."
"I know everyone in the book and have lived the bond you all share up close and personal, but I also believe that strangers will also feel the bond because it is written so clearly and lovingly."
"One of my favorite sentences of the book is,"I have decided that the word DYING only pertains to the person it is happening to." What an insight...the whole paragraph is amazing and TRUTH!"
"You did a great job communicating that freedom we should all feel in how we handle something."
"To be honest...I had NO idea of the depth of struggles associated with Alzheimer's. No idea at all."
"I love, love, love how God gave you the perfect verses to go along with your personal journey and the chapter you were writing...He is amazing!"
"I could actually feel what the author felt because of the words she used."
"I was challenged in my faith and encouraged in my faith."
"A wonderful true-life story that will take you from your darkness of despair to your daylight of deliverance."
"Thank you, Tonya...this story truly changed the way I am looking at my RELATIONSHIP with God and the Gifts He has given me."
"It was so good! I cried, and cried, and cried! And when I finished, I called my mom and CRIED!!! I LOVED it!"
"Because Tonya Ferguson, was so good at conveying her raw emotions, I was easily able to think about how I would feel. It made me want to run home and hug my parents."
"I saw cracks in the walls of my relationship with my Savior that NEED to be filled. This book encouraged me to make my prayer life ACTIVE every second of EVERY day."
"This book is relatable on so many levels of life's circumstances. You don't have to have lived this exact story to gain insight and encouragement."
"I thought about the gifts God has given me. Am I using those gifts to further God's Kingdom? Am I living in such a way that's glorifying to Him? Not always. This book shoved that in my face in SUCH a great way! I was forced to challenge myself with those questions."
"to remember love" shows you that the rainbow always comes at the end of the storm."
"I know everyone in the book and have lived the bond you all share up close and personal, but I also believe that strangers will also feel the bond because it is written so clearly and lovingly."
"One of my favorite sentences of the book is,"I have decided that the word DYING only pertains to the person it is happening to." What an insight...the whole paragraph is amazing and TRUTH!"
"You did a great job communicating that freedom we should all feel in how we handle something."
"To be honest...I had NO idea of the depth of struggles associated with Alzheimer's. No idea at all."
"I love, love, love how God gave you the perfect verses to go along with your personal journey and the chapter you were writing...He is amazing!"
September 7, 2012
First off I want to say that from the first page to the last, the author focused on her faith and how Jesus Christ and God helped her through her life. I understand that she is a devoted Christian and I don't have a problem with that - I had a problem with her writing style and the lack of story of the book.
I wanted to know about her parents and her life instead of the hard life of being a caregiver is. Don't get me wrong, I cried my eyes out at both passing of her parents but what about celebrating their lives instead of writing about the hardships. The synopsis promises that this book was written for her mom because she always wanted to write a book. But at the end, I didn't get the story of her mom's life just how the alzheimer's was hard to deal with. My review might be different if I was actually a caregiver but I am not, I was just hoping to read a book full of history, love and belief that our grandparents, parents and other family members have given us.
I wanted to know about her parents and her life instead of the hard life of being a caregiver is. Don't get me wrong, I cried my eyes out at both passing of her parents but what about celebrating their lives instead of writing about the hardships. The synopsis promises that this book was written for her mom because she always wanted to write a book. But at the end, I didn't get the story of her mom's life just how the alzheimer's was hard to deal with. My review might be different if I was actually a caregiver but I am not, I was just hoping to read a book full of history, love and belief that our grandparents, parents and other family members have given us.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews