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Back Where He Started: A Novel
“A gorgeous celebration of love and family, a vivid re-imagining of what it means to be a parent, an anthem of endurance through faith, a hard-won comedy of healing and balm.”—Paul Russell, author of War Against the Animals and The Coming Storm As he embraces the patchwork of his new life, a middle-aged gay man living in a North Carolina beach town comes to terms with the sudden departure of his lover and earns a new appreciation of his role as heart of the home to his grown children. Jay Quinn is the founding editor and executive editor of The Haworth Press’ Southern Tier Editions. He is the author of Metes and Bounds and The Mentor and has edited Rebel Stories of Contemporary Southern Gay Men .
304 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 2005
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews
September 5, 2014
4 feel-good stars. Review posted September 5, 2014
Dear Mom,
Set in Bogue Banks, North Carolina, I enjoyed reading about your beautiful little house on the beach. and I was glowing with anticipation when I knew you'd be buying a puppy who would keep you on your toes. Your doggie made my heart melt. And let me tell you I was so disappointed when Zack acted like a selfish and petty asshole and dished out some very low blows. Yet I was glad to see that the mean acts were barely noticeable and did not dispel the feel-good atmosphere of your story. Oh, and wonders will never cease! Zack came around eventually and you two could bury the hatchet. I daresay that I might not have needed that nice little bow I got in the end, though (your meltdown with Trey made me cringe, the cheesy wasn't my cup of tea and everybody was very fond of everybody and every available Still, I think that Back Where He Started came to the right time for me and I was willing to overlook some of my issues. I've been reading quite a lot of inferior books lately and your story accomplished to really warm my heart. It's a lovely tale of second chances, reflections, forgiveness, love as well as a search for identity. It's beautifully written and can be accounted for all the good feelings fluttering around in my belly, yet I just wish the final 15 % would have been less melodramatic, less sappy. In my book, the was simply OTT and made my teeth hurt. I would also have preferred less waterworks and a little less emotional (and weepy) outbursts and scrutinizing. As always I just couldn't warm up to the majority of endearments. On the other hand, I did like your use of Big Man and Steve referring to you as Little Bit. I found them apt and endearing. You don't know that I'm an atheist, so it shouldn't come as a surprise when I tell you that I didn't particularly care for the religious aspect of your story. All the prayers and churchgoings were a bit too much for me. However, I did like the portrayal of Father Fintan. For once a priest has been depicted as open-minded, supportive, understanding and kind towards a fictional gay main protagonist. You. That happens not all that often in my book world, so credit where credit is due.
I loved all your interaction with your kids; the bickering and bantering and the humor in general and snappy dialogue were engaging and entertaining. Like you, I also felt that Schooner had been spoilt too much. *Baba points finger at you* He needs to take over responsibility and lower his standards and expectations. Besides, Schooner should quit being sloppy and he should start I'm glad you had a serious talk with him. After all, a little dressing-down can't hurt once in a while.
You did impress me with your willingness not to hold a grudge. Instead of falling in a dark hole of bitterness, you decided to go on and work on your new life and search for your 'new' self. You are an important individual who made decisions to the best of your ability, knowledge, and belief. And you are more than a convenient housekeeper and nanny. You are a gay man, a parent, a mother, a caregiver, a friend, and a nurturer. "Adopting" a bunch of kids, guiding and accompanying those children throughout their lives for the past 22 years is no mean feat and you deserve all the praise you can get. Sure, you made mistakes but when I look at your kids I will say this: the end result is marvelous. You did a great job. The love you sowed has come back many times over.
And last but not least I'm happy that you found Steve. Aside from his gorgeous physical merits, he's a loyal, generous, and loving partner. Although I would have preferred to see you two together sooner. But I know it was important to you to do all this self-discovery stuff, to fall into step first and deal with your past in order to be ready for the right guy at the right time. It took some time but it was well worth the wait. After the painful tide is gone, you're geared up for the long flow. I know you're ready to write a new story in the sand. I wish you, the reborn beach boy, a very happy and prosperous life with your (half) Italian stud water man.
Take care and say 'hi' to Steve for me.
Love,
Baba
If you're in a bad mood then give this book a try. It's not the perfect story by any means, but it's an easy read that provides a lot of feel-good vibes.
Dear Mom,
Set in Bogue Banks, North Carolina, I enjoyed reading about your beautiful little house on the beach. and I was glowing with anticipation when I knew you'd be buying a puppy who would keep you on your toes. Your doggie made my heart melt. And let me tell you I was so disappointed when Zack acted like a selfish and petty asshole and dished out some very low blows. Yet I was glad to see that the mean acts were barely noticeable and did not dispel the feel-good atmosphere of your story. Oh, and wonders will never cease! Zack came around eventually and you two could bury the hatchet. I daresay that I might not have needed that nice little bow I got in the end, though (your meltdown with Trey made me cringe, the cheesy wasn't my cup of tea and everybody was very fond of everybody and every available Still, I think that Back Where He Started came to the right time for me and I was willing to overlook some of my issues. I've been reading quite a lot of inferior books lately and your story accomplished to really warm my heart. It's a lovely tale of second chances, reflections, forgiveness, love as well as a search for identity. It's beautifully written and can be accounted for all the good feelings fluttering around in my belly, yet I just wish the final 15 % would have been less melodramatic, less sappy. In my book, the was simply OTT and made my teeth hurt. I would also have preferred less waterworks and a little less emotional (and weepy) outbursts and scrutinizing. As always I just couldn't warm up to the majority of endearments. On the other hand, I did like your use of Big Man and Steve referring to you as Little Bit. I found them apt and endearing. You don't know that I'm an atheist, so it shouldn't come as a surprise when I tell you that I didn't particularly care for the religious aspect of your story. All the prayers and churchgoings were a bit too much for me. However, I did like the portrayal of Father Fintan. For once a priest has been depicted as open-minded, supportive, understanding and kind towards a fictional gay main protagonist. You. That happens not all that often in my book world, so credit where credit is due.
I loved all your interaction with your kids; the bickering and bantering and the humor in general and snappy dialogue were engaging and entertaining. Like you, I also felt that Schooner had been spoilt too much. *Baba points finger at you* He needs to take over responsibility and lower his standards and expectations. Besides, Schooner should quit being sloppy and he should start I'm glad you had a serious talk with him. After all, a little dressing-down can't hurt once in a while.
You did impress me with your willingness not to hold a grudge. Instead of falling in a dark hole of bitterness, you decided to go on and work on your new life and search for your 'new' self. You are an important individual who made decisions to the best of your ability, knowledge, and belief. And you are more than a convenient housekeeper and nanny. You are a gay man, a parent, a mother, a caregiver, a friend, and a nurturer. "Adopting" a bunch of kids, guiding and accompanying those children throughout their lives for the past 22 years is no mean feat and you deserve all the praise you can get. Sure, you made mistakes but when I look at your kids I will say this: the end result is marvelous. You did a great job. The love you sowed has come back many times over.
And last but not least I'm happy that you found Steve. Aside from his gorgeous physical merits, he's a loyal, generous, and loving partner. Although I would have preferred to see you two together sooner. But I know it was important to you to do all this self-discovery stuff, to fall into step first and deal with your past in order to be ready for the right guy at the right time. It took some time but it was well worth the wait. After the painful tide is gone, you're geared up for the long flow. I know you're ready to write a new story in the sand. I wish you, the reborn beach boy, a very happy and prosperous life with your (half) Italian stud water man.
Take care and say 'hi' to Steve for me.
Love,
Baba
If you're in a bad mood then give this book a try. It's not the perfect story by any means, but it's an easy read that provides a lot of feel-good vibes.
March 1, 2019
**** 4.5 Stars ****
What a page-turner!!!
Chris Thayer dedicated 22 years of his life raising his husband's kids, Zack - aka douche.
The story starts with Chris being heartlessly dumped by his husband for a younger woman. I could hardly believe it. Me hooked.
FFS, Zack (also aka asshole)!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, such honest, compelling and captivating writing.
The story was refreshing! Besides, mature MC's which I LOVE.
I loved it, and I hated it, but I definitely loved it the most.
Why does Chris have to think of himself as the wife in a relationship?
Why could he not see himself as his partner equal?
Why was he the Mom? It puzzles me since I believe in two Dads. Is it society who force kids to see one of the Dads as a Mom? Ugh.
And finally, Chris religion orientation was a little OTT for me.
As you can see my issues were all plot related and I usually don't rate a story based on that; I absolutely loved the writing, hence the high rate. I think it deserves.
Chris was an amazingcharacter person, generous, loving, friendly. Therefore I was pleased to see that the author brought the kids support to his side when Chris had to start a life at 48 and didn't opt for adding more drama.
Back Where He Started is a very unique story told in a softly, honest, warm and gentle kind of voice. Precious.
What a page-turner!!!
Chris Thayer dedicated 22 years of his life raising his husband's kids, Zack - aka douche.
The story starts with Chris being heartlessly dumped by his husband for a younger woman. I could hardly believe it. Me hooked.
FFS, Zack (also aka asshole)!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, such honest, compelling and captivating writing.
The story was refreshing! Besides, mature MC's which I LOVE.
I loved it, and I hated it, but I definitely loved it the most.
Why does Chris have to think of himself as the wife in a relationship?
Why could he not see himself as his partner equal?
Why was he the Mom? It puzzles me since I believe in two Dads. Is it society who force kids to see one of the Dads as a Mom? Ugh.
And finally, Chris religion orientation was a little OTT for me.
As you can see my issues were all plot related and I usually don't rate a story based on that; I absolutely loved the writing, hence the high rate. I think it deserves.
Chris was an amazing
Back Where He Started is a very unique story told in a softly, honest, warm and gentle kind of voice. Precious.
September 12, 2016
What a wonderful, troublesome book. I honestly don't know how to review it.
The writing is top-notch. You don't often get to "know" characters this well. The story itself is very enjoyable with a soapy plot that had me laughing, tearing up, and plotting the murder of a character.
I want to really thank Alona for reading this one with me. This book brought up some ugly issues for me that I'm not going to discuss here. It was great to have someone intelligent and sensitive to discuss those issues with. Cheers to my book soulmate.
The writing is top-notch. You don't often get to "know" characters this well. The story itself is very enjoyable with a soapy plot that had me laughing, tearing up, and plotting the murder of a character.
I want to really thank Alona for reading this one with me. This book brought up some ugly issues for me that I'm not going to discuss here. It was great to have someone intelligent and sensitive to discuss those issues with. Cheers to my book soulmate.
August 31, 2014
Bee-you-tea-full!!!! I absolutely adored this story and it is one of my best reads this year.
What happens when the HEA comes to an end 22 years down the line?
Chris always thought he had his HEA with Zack. He had given up so much of his own life and dreams to bring up Zack's kids, support Zack's career and make a nice home for all of them. And it was a nice life with Zack's kids loving Chris and seeing him as a replacement for their mother who had committed suicide, and seeing him as the carer they never had in their own father Zack.
And then suddenly now the kids are all grown up Zack moves out of the family home and takes up with a woman who is having his baby. Horrible, cheating betrayer!! I never swear in my reviews but I really disliked Zack and disliked the way he dismantled his own family to take up with a woman half his age and to start having another baby at 56.
Pah!!!
Rat bastard!!!!!!!
I was even more appalled when Zack left it to Chris to tell the children that he was leaving.
Pah!!
Despicable Rat Bastard!!!!!!!
Now the You Tube Cat will express how much I disliked the way Zack treated both his children and Chris
http://youtu.be/lNldd6uQOTI
Enough about Zack!!
Let us think about Chris.
The story focuses less on the betrayal and although this does affect Chris, the book is really about rebuilding a new life from the ashes of the old one. Chris does this with beauty and grace. In so doing he comes to realise that although the children are not biologically his and although they are now all adults, they are indeed his own children. All the love C Chris has poured into their lives has continued in the way they love each other and the way they call him 'mom'. They love him.
And although he is a middle aged gay man he too can love again.
And although he gave up his career to be a husband to the rat bastard and a mother to the children he can find another career because all things are possible.
And he can also find new, honest, deep and enduring love. And he does so with Steve.
Steve is a rough, ready, dog rearing, sea wrestling fisherman and he loves Chris in his own simple, rough and ready way.
And Chris finds that this new life, the life he has begun again, the life that has brought him back to where he started, is actually a life which is both blessed and beautiful. And so this story is a beautiful testimony to the fact that we can go on through hard times and difficulty and prevail. We can have hope even in the most dark and difficult circumstances, and if our worlds crumble they can be built again.
And so I love this story.
And I truly adored it.
I loved the way in which Chris set his heart to make life work for himself even though he was having to start from the beginning again (back where he started). It is as he begins this new life that he realises that he is well ahead of things and he embraces his new life with courage and vision.
Meanwhile the rat bastard finds that having a child at 56 is damn hard work and he actually has the audacity to tell Chris that he misses him :o
Meh!! Too late!!! Serves him right. Forget about him.
But remember Chris with the gift of his new life, new love, new faith and new hope. *sigh*
And new forgiveness. Because he comes to terms with Zack's betrayal and is able to forgive because he is so generous of heart and because he knows that love forgives a multitude of sins (according to the bible). And Chris lives this love.
Jay Quinn is a new author for me. I am so very pleased to make his acquaintance. His writing has a great feel to it and I am happy to see his backlist - more books to read :)
Such a beautiful story. I so enjoyed it. Another great read for me this year.
What happens when the HEA comes to an end 22 years down the line?
Chris always thought he had his HEA with Zack. He had given up so much of his own life and dreams to bring up Zack's kids, support Zack's career and make a nice home for all of them. And it was a nice life with Zack's kids loving Chris and seeing him as a replacement for their mother who had committed suicide, and seeing him as the carer they never had in their own father Zack.
And then suddenly now the kids are all grown up Zack moves out of the family home and takes up with a woman who is having his baby. Horrible, cheating betrayer!! I never swear in my reviews but I really disliked Zack and disliked the way he dismantled his own family to take up with a woman half his age and to start having another baby at 56.
Pah!!!
Rat bastard!!!!!!!
I was even more appalled when Zack left it to Chris to tell the children that he was leaving.
Pah!!
Despicable Rat Bastard!!!!!!!
Now the You Tube Cat will express how much I disliked the way Zack treated both his children and Chris
http://youtu.be/lNldd6uQOTI
Enough about Zack!!
Let us think about Chris.
The story focuses less on the betrayal and although this does affect Chris, the book is really about rebuilding a new life from the ashes of the old one. Chris does this with beauty and grace. In so doing he comes to realise that although the children are not biologically his and although they are now all adults, they are indeed his own children. All the love C Chris has poured into their lives has continued in the way they love each other and the way they call him 'mom'. They love him.
And although he is a middle aged gay man he too can love again.
And although he gave up his career to be a husband to the rat bastard and a mother to the children he can find another career because all things are possible.
And he can also find new, honest, deep and enduring love. And he does so with Steve.
Steve is a rough, ready, dog rearing, sea wrestling fisherman and he loves Chris in his own simple, rough and ready way.
And Chris finds that this new life, the life he has begun again, the life that has brought him back to where he started, is actually a life which is both blessed and beautiful. And so this story is a beautiful testimony to the fact that we can go on through hard times and difficulty and prevail. We can have hope even in the most dark and difficult circumstances, and if our worlds crumble they can be built again.
And so I love this story.
And I truly adored it.
I loved the way in which Chris set his heart to make life work for himself even though he was having to start from the beginning again (back where he started). It is as he begins this new life that he realises that he is well ahead of things and he embraces his new life with courage and vision.
Meanwhile the rat bastard finds that having a child at 56 is damn hard work and he actually has the audacity to tell Chris that he misses him :o
Meh!! Too late!!! Serves him right. Forget about him.
But remember Chris with the gift of his new life, new love, new faith and new hope. *sigh*
And new forgiveness. Because he comes to terms with Zack's betrayal and is able to forgive because he is so generous of heart and because he knows that love forgives a multitude of sins (according to the bible). And Chris lives this love.
Jay Quinn is a new author for me. I am so very pleased to make his acquaintance. His writing has a great feel to it and I am happy to see his backlist - more books to read :)
Such a beautiful story. I so enjoyed it. Another great read for me this year.
April 10, 2019
I think it's time for me to officially create that bah-bah-black-sheep shelf, and here's another one for it.
Probably more like 1.5 stars. DNF @54%. The beginning had me hooked right away. The premise was common for straight stories but rare in queer, and I was fascinated to see how it evolved.
But increasingly, I found both the dialogue and narrative really verbose and unrealistic. Alternating between mundane and oddly melodramatic for no reason. I was cocking my head at my kindle with a "what the hell?" look on my face more and more… and the feeling was getting stronger the longer I read, so I cut bait.
I do love the cover though. So there's that.
Probably more like 1.5 stars. DNF @54%. The beginning had me hooked right away. The premise was common for straight stories but rare in queer, and I was fascinated to see how it evolved.
But increasingly, I found both the dialogue and narrative really verbose and unrealistic. Alternating between mundane and oddly melodramatic for no reason. I was cocking my head at my kindle with a "what the hell?" look on my face more and more… and the feeling was getting stronger the longer I read, so I cut bait.
I do love the cover though. So there's that.
March 3, 2019
This is quite a different book!
As the blurb tells us, it's the story of Chris, a man in his late forties, who finds himself rebuilding his life after his partner of 22 years decides to go off with a much younger woman.
This may sound rather dramatic, but if you expect lots of drama and on page emotion - that is not happening here. Jay Quinn's writing style has been described as 'quiet', and I think that fits the bill perfectly. Yes, there are harsh words when Zack leaves Chris, there are arguments, but the way Chris tells his story is somewhat detached, calm and as if he is writing this many, many years later.
However, if you're not a fan of long narratives, I would urge you to get a sample first to check whether this is for you!
You simply have to love Chris. He is the ultimate carer, nurturer, giver of love and home-maker. He blossoms in his role a 'mum' to Zack's three children. And the title 'mum' feels like an accolade here, a special title Chris has more than earned. I loved his quiet ways, his innate goodness, the way he simply loved with all his heart.
As much as I felt for him and what Zack puts him through, as much I hated Zack. I have absolutely no idea where Chris finds it in his heart to forgive him (But then Chris is also a devout Catholic and religion does play a big part in his life.), particularly after all the horrendous, homophobic and personal insults the guy throws at him in a later argument. How can anyone who lived with a man for 22 years be that awful?
It is heartwarming to see how Chris start feeling like a 'new' person again, and meeting Steve certainly has an impact. However, this is not romance done the usual way. Tbh there is not much romance in that sense at all. But I was still drawn in and wanted to know what happens.
For me the most empowering emotion in this book is Chris's love for 'his' three children (who are grown up with their own expanding families now), and the way they love him back. It transcends everything else. It got me all teary-eyed and sniffy in the last few chapters.
Maybe the thing I found hardest to understand is how Zack and Alicia (his new wife) changed in the last part of the book. I could not see where that came from and why it happened. It seemed to contradict everything we'd heard about them up to that point.
So, a different book. But a lovely one. Quiet and just telling a story, the way Chris remembers it.
Thank you, Jan for this heart-warming tale! 🧡
As the blurb tells us, it's the story of Chris, a man in his late forties, who finds himself rebuilding his life after his partner of 22 years decides to go off with a much younger woman.
This may sound rather dramatic, but if you expect lots of drama and on page emotion - that is not happening here. Jay Quinn's writing style has been described as 'quiet', and I think that fits the bill perfectly. Yes, there are harsh words when Zack leaves Chris, there are arguments, but the way Chris tells his story is somewhat detached, calm and as if he is writing this many, many years later.
However, if you're not a fan of long narratives, I would urge you to get a sample first to check whether this is for you!
You simply have to love Chris. He is the ultimate carer, nurturer, giver of love and home-maker. He blossoms in his role a 'mum' to Zack's three children. And the title 'mum' feels like an accolade here, a special title Chris has more than earned. I loved his quiet ways, his innate goodness, the way he simply loved with all his heart.
As much as I felt for him and what Zack puts him through, as much I hated Zack. I have absolutely no idea where Chris finds it in his heart to forgive him (But then Chris is also a devout Catholic and religion does play a big part in his life.), particularly after all the horrendous, homophobic and personal insults the guy throws at him in a later argument. How can anyone who lived with a man for 22 years be that awful?
It is heartwarming to see how Chris start feeling like a 'new' person again, and meeting Steve certainly has an impact. However, this is not romance done the usual way. Tbh there is not much romance in that sense at all. But I was still drawn in and wanted to know what happens.
For me the most empowering emotion in this book is Chris's love for 'his' three children (who are grown up with their own expanding families now), and the way they love him back. It transcends everything else. It got me all teary-eyed and sniffy in the last few chapters.
Maybe the thing I found hardest to understand is how Zack and Alicia (his new wife) changed in the last part of the book. I could not see where that came from and why it happened. It seemed to contradict everything we'd heard about them up to that point.
So, a different book. But a lovely one. Quiet and just telling a story, the way Chris remembers it.
Thank you, Jan for this heart-warming tale! 🧡
April 5, 2015
4,5 stars.
This one was my very first book written by Jay Quinn and I loved it.
I adored Chris and the way he dealt with the break up with his longterm partner Zac. Btw… this Zac guy is really easy to hate, what a prick.
Being nearly 50 and losing the husband, the home… the entire existence… how Chris managed to stay sane… was just wonderful told. Loved his children… or better said his ex-husbands grown-up children who still regard him as their ‘Mom’ and help him sort out his new life.
Back Where He Started is a warm story, the love the characters have for each other just shines through every word.
I was so happy with Chris that he got his second chance in life and made full use of it… and that he found in Steve, the rough fisherman, the true love of his life. Highly recommended. :)
August 3, 2016
I'm speechless, I have no idea what to write or how to explain this very nasty, yet exhilarating book. It's given me one shocking headache. Just amazing.
Now I know there's some of you out there that just despise cheating, as do I but this is one exception to the rule. I'll read cheating books, but what happened in this is just beyond any words I can dredge up. It's the ULTIMATE betrayal YET, the magic comes afterwards and YES it's worth it.
Now I know there's some of you out there that just despise cheating, as do I but this is one exception to the rule. I'll read cheating books, but what happened in this is just beyond any words I can dredge up. It's the ULTIMATE betrayal YET, the magic comes afterwards and YES it's worth it.
February 1, 2021
Beautiful. This novel is simply beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes numerous times and left me with such a positive feeling about love and family. This was the first Jay Quinn novel I read and I instantly ordered the rest of his books. Everything about it is intricately written and completely arresting; I couldn't get enough of it. Quinn filled it with so many lessons about love, relationships, family and the dynamics that make those work. I was so touched by his storylines and the care that went into telling them. This is no romantic fluff or throw away summer reading. This is a book you hold to your chest after reading, and keep to read again and again.
March 30, 2021
3.5 stars
This story flowed much better than The Beloved Son, but it was still on the wordy side. I did skip over a paragraph here and there when it got repetitive or too detailed to wade through, and some of the dialogue still felt unnatural. But it was overall a better reading experience.
Chris is a middle-aged man forced to start his life over after his partner of 22 years walks out the door for another life and another family. The three children they raised together, now grown and the youngest about to graduate college, are all firmly on Chris's side. Chris decides to relocate to the beach and tries to figure out who he is on his own.
Once again, Quinn delves into the complexities of family and how the various relationships within a single family can shape each person in it. This isn't so much plot-driven as it is a character study of Chris and the various shifts his family have to make in order to adjust to their new reality. Chris would almost too good to be true, except a few scenes of pettiness with his ex which saves him from saintliness. Chris spends a great deal of the book trying to figure out who he is other than a "mom" and "wife" to his children and ex, and figuring out how to let go past hurts in order to move forward with new relationships. I wasn't sure about Steve at first, but he kinda grew on me, and the "kids" had a family dynamic that felt very familiar to me but also unique to them.
The typos were dramatically reduced, though there were still some formatting issues - for instance, the section breaks weren't visible in the Android app or on my Paperwhite, but they were there on the Mac app - and there was still one case of mixed names. There were a few continuity issues, and Chris's penchant for calling everyone "baby" started getting on my nerves pretty early on, as did other terminology used in the book.
This story flowed much better than The Beloved Son, but it was still on the wordy side. I did skip over a paragraph here and there when it got repetitive or too detailed to wade through, and some of the dialogue still felt unnatural. But it was overall a better reading experience.
Chris is a middle-aged man forced to start his life over after his partner of 22 years walks out the door for another life and another family. The three children they raised together, now grown and the youngest about to graduate college, are all firmly on Chris's side. Chris decides to relocate to the beach and tries to figure out who he is on his own.
Once again, Quinn delves into the complexities of family and how the various relationships within a single family can shape each person in it. This isn't so much plot-driven as it is a character study of Chris and the various shifts his family have to make in order to adjust to their new reality. Chris would almost too good to be true, except a few scenes of pettiness with his ex which saves him from saintliness. Chris spends a great deal of the book trying to figure out who he is other than a "mom" and "wife" to his children and ex, and figuring out how to let go past hurts in order to move forward with new relationships. I wasn't sure about Steve at first, but he kinda grew on me, and the "kids" had a family dynamic that felt very familiar to me but also unique to them.
The typos were dramatically reduced, though there were still some formatting issues - for instance, the section breaks weren't visible in the Android app or on my Paperwhite, but they were there on the Mac app - and there was still one case of mixed names. There were a few continuity issues, and Chris's penchant for calling everyone "baby" started getting on my nerves pretty early on, as did other terminology used in the book.
December 19, 2019
2.5 stars
This book was like a countdown! Started very strong and with the best prospects, losing a star at every 25% mark. The opening, where we see Chris trying to rebuild his life, the support from his kids, his inner struggles, was beautiful and inspiring. Unfortunately, the minute he got back on his feet, the story kind of lost its monentum. Side stories about one of his kids, a lover/friend who seems like a filler rather than someone important, needless details about his work and bosses or his visits to the church, clutter Chris' personal story without adding anything interesting. The icing on the cake is the lacklustre romance between him and Steve, a local fisherman, that proceeded from lust to love inexplicably and very quickly, especially considering the lack of conversation or chemistry those two shared. TBH I couldn't understand what those two had in common outside the bedroom and love for dogs; They were two completely different people. After the 60%, I started skimming furiously in an effort to not give up on it completely. Also, his kids calling him 'mom' went from endearing to annoying the 100th time it occurred.
So, it started as a 5 stars story, ended as 1 star, and that makes it 3 as an average.
This book was like a countdown! Started very strong and with the best prospects, losing a star at every 25% mark. The opening, where we see Chris trying to rebuild his life, the support from his kids, his inner struggles, was beautiful and inspiring. Unfortunately, the minute he got back on his feet, the story kind of lost its monentum. Side stories about one of his kids, a lover/friend who seems like a filler rather than someone important, needless details about his work and bosses or his visits to the church, clutter Chris' personal story without adding anything interesting. The icing on the cake is the lacklustre romance between him and Steve, a local fisherman, that proceeded from lust to love inexplicably and very quickly, especially considering the lack of conversation or chemistry those two shared. TBH I couldn't understand what those two had in common outside the bedroom and love for dogs; They were two completely different people. After the 60%, I started skimming furiously in an effort to not give up on it completely. Also, his kids calling him 'mom' went from endearing to annoying the 100th time it occurred.
So, it started as a 5 stars story, ended as 1 star, and that makes it 3 as an average.
September 3, 2015
4.5 stars
I love this book! I love Chris' voice. The whole thing didn't let me go until I finished the last page.
What I wasn't a huge fan of was all that religious stuff, especially near the ending. And as there were no paragraphs between the change of scenes/flashbacks, that made reading a bit difficult.
But that were only some minor niggles. Overall right now I'm just speechless.
I love this book! I love Chris' voice. The whole thing didn't let me go until I finished the last page.
What I wasn't a huge fan of was all that religious stuff, especially near the ending. And as there were no paragraphs between the change of scenes/flashbacks, that made reading a bit difficult.
But that were only some minor niggles. Overall right now I'm just speechless.
April 23, 2016
*4.5*
What a talented writer, I really liked his style.
”My head filled with mucus and my eyes stingily gave up a tear apiece, both immediately drying, chilly on my cheeks. I wiped their itchy tracks away”.
Now THAT is how you describe crying;-)!
This story was such a comfort read, with well-written characters, great story (not the usual romance that I read) and lots and lots of feeeelings….
This book was not perfect, but still almost five stars because of the pure reading pleasure (but please authors, I love me a paragraph every now and then).
Sometimes the story dragged a bit, but it always quickly veered back to interesting plot points, so I could forgive that.
However, by the end, it got a bit too sugary for me;-)
I must check out more by this author asap!
What a talented writer, I really liked his style.
”My head filled with mucus and my eyes stingily gave up a tear apiece, both immediately drying, chilly on my cheeks. I wiped their itchy tracks away”.
Now THAT is how you describe crying;-)!
This story was such a comfort read, with well-written characters, great story (not the usual romance that I read) and lots and lots of feeeelings….
This book was not perfect, but still almost five stars because of the pure reading pleasure (but please authors, I love me a paragraph every now and then).
Sometimes the story dragged a bit, but it always quickly veered back to interesting plot points, so I could forgive that.
However, by the end, it got a bit too sugary for me;-)
I must check out more by this author asap!
February 26, 2025
Twenty or more years ago I read an excerpt from this novel in an anthology gay short fiction (it was the Christmas tale) and I thought it was amusing, but annoying, because the main character, Chris Thayer, who we were supposed to sympathize with, was awful. Mr. Quinn has created him out of brand names and faux classy terms like 'chiffoner' (be in no doubt the higher up the 'real' social ladder you climb the plainer the words used to describe things are. See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U_and_n...) and if in an excerpt Chris Thayer life was annoying it became, over the course of a novel, appalling. When with relief I turned the last page I realised that this 'gay romance' was a direct copy of a 'Woman's Magazine' true-love story from the 1950s. The stereotypes of the stay-at-home happy spouse immersed in recipes, fashion, home decor and manipulating her corporate-ladder-climbing spouse so he will buy her the latest crown derby china dinner service to use at those last minute little dinner parties she whips together at the drop-of-a-hat to advance hubby's career.
Chris Thayer's behavior would be unbelievable in a female character in any novel today. I actually found it offensive that Thayer when bringing up the male children of 'his' partner from a dead wife goes out of his way to make sure those boys grow up to be 'real boys' - fighting, spitting, playing ball, no mollycoddling for these all American tykes, just because their pa is off corn-holing their 'mama' doesn't mean they aren't going to be 100% pure American boy! Really I could just go on and on hating this book - but it ain't worth it. If you like your heterosexual clichés dressed up in a 'gay' garb then this sort of thing is for you. If it brings on nausea and desire to run amok in a china shop then avoid it. Although I would regard the novel as ample justification for destroying china I doubt any court would.
Looking again at the novel twenty years after first hating it my distaste and loathing have not declined but now I also felt a huge sadness. The post Stonewall years were a time when:
“Bliss it was in that dawn to be alive
But to be young was very heaven.”
(Wordsworth 'The Prelude') it may have been a false dawn but we didn't think it was the dawn of a shopping 'lifestyle'. This novel, and all it represents, is a false dawn.
Chris Thayer's behavior would be unbelievable in a female character in any novel today. I actually found it offensive that Thayer when bringing up the male children of 'his' partner from a dead wife goes out of his way to make sure those boys grow up to be 'real boys' - fighting, spitting, playing ball, no mollycoddling for these all American tykes, just because their pa is off corn-holing their 'mama' doesn't mean they aren't going to be 100% pure American boy! Really I could just go on and on hating this book - but it ain't worth it. If you like your heterosexual clichés dressed up in a 'gay' garb then this sort of thing is for you. If it brings on nausea and desire to run amok in a china shop then avoid it. Although I would regard the novel as ample justification for destroying china I doubt any court would.
Looking again at the novel twenty years after first hating it my distaste and loathing have not declined but now I also felt a huge sadness. The post Stonewall years were a time when:
“Bliss it was in that dawn to be alive
But to be young was very heaven.”
(Wordsworth 'The Prelude') it may have been a false dawn but we didn't think it was the dawn of a shopping 'lifestyle'. This novel, and all it represents, is a false dawn.
January 7, 2011
This is my favorite book of all times. I read it at least once a year. There are a few problems with it, yes it is a little melodramatic at times. Yes, the gender lines are blurred. But, the characters grab me and don't let go.
July 22, 2008
One emotional rollercoaster. So rich with emotion it's hard to choke back the laughter and the tears.
February 23, 2016
Just beautiful. Laughed. Cried. Laughed. Cried. Cried. Smiled. Laughed. Cried. Smiled. Smiled. Smiled. :-)
February 3, 2013
I found this book by chance in my local (very small) library. What a find. I know absolutely nothing about the author, but will go on to read his other work after this.
I immediately loved Chris, he spoke for everyone who had been dumped and cast aside in such a creul way.
The bond he had with his three adult children, those he had brought up for Zack from babyhood and childhood was beautifully portrayed, in fact the essence of the book, certainly the early chapters. Poor Chris, having Zack cast him aside for a younger woman - he reinvents himself, taking the family dog with him. The dog dying had me in floods of tears, but ultimately that bought him his new love, Steve.
Their relationship is simply wonderfully told, Jay Quinn's language and depiction of the hesitation of Chris after all his hurt is heart rendering. Yes I was in tears and willing Chris on. His fight with Zack, and the cruelty of his former partner during their first meeting post break up is stunning, just immense writing. You hate Zack and his weakness with all of your own soul. It really is such a pleasure to read such great writing, full of characters who are so believable.
Chris struggles with his abdonement, his deep religious beliefs but overcomes all of it with the encouragement of his adult children, his new employers, his new found friends and Steve. It's a truly wonderful book and recommended to anyone with an open heart. You won't be disappointed.
I immediately loved Chris, he spoke for everyone who had been dumped and cast aside in such a creul way.
The bond he had with his three adult children, those he had brought up for Zack from babyhood and childhood was beautifully portrayed, in fact the essence of the book, certainly the early chapters. Poor Chris, having Zack cast him aside for a younger woman - he reinvents himself, taking the family dog with him. The dog dying had me in floods of tears, but ultimately that bought him his new love, Steve.
Their relationship is simply wonderfully told, Jay Quinn's language and depiction of the hesitation of Chris after all his hurt is heart rendering. Yes I was in tears and willing Chris on. His fight with Zack, and the cruelty of his former partner during their first meeting post break up is stunning, just immense writing. You hate Zack and his weakness with all of your own soul. It really is such a pleasure to read such great writing, full of characters who are so believable.
Chris struggles with his abdonement, his deep religious beliefs but overcomes all of it with the encouragement of his adult children, his new employers, his new found friends and Steve. It's a truly wonderful book and recommended to anyone with an open heart. You won't be disappointed.
August 19, 2015
I knew immediately that this was a book I could sink my teeth into and boy did I take a big bite out of this one! I liked how we only got nine chapters. I liked that I didn't quite know who the love interest would be. I loved Schnooner and I loved Steve. I now want a beach house so I can look out at the beach and live a simple life.
This story was totally engaging. The Ronan family felt real to me. The plot was unpredictable as well. My favorite scene was probably the "hurricane" scene on the beach. The only niggle I have is that the author incorrectly used the words sat/sitting when he should have used set/setting. Other than that, I'd highly recommend. Excellent story that wasn't just written for the MCs to have sex like most M/M books are nowadays.
This story was totally engaging. The Ronan family felt real to me. The plot was unpredictable as well. My favorite scene was probably the "hurricane" scene on the beach. The only niggle I have is that the author incorrectly used the words sat/sitting when he should have used set/setting. Other than that, I'd highly recommend. Excellent story that wasn't just written for the MCs to have sex like most M/M books are nowadays.
July 2, 2008
I went back and forth on this one so many times. I liked the main character and he compelled me to keep reading. I really didn't want anything bad to happen to him. It made me uncomfortable though probably b/c of its approach to gender roles which somehow pushed my buttons I don't even know why. Some of it is really sentimental and Lifetime-y and made me cringe. Lots of conflict is set up which mostly gets diffused. And yet, I cried a couple of times. So it definitely worked. Indidentally, it would make a great movie for logo w/ the right actor.
April 6, 2008
I picked this up because the author is queer and lives just up the road and I hoped for a good gay southern novel. I got an okay gay southern novel which, for what it is, is good; but for me was far too sentimental. Basically, this is queer family-saga/romance novel, a good enough 'beach-read,' but not very interesting.
July 14, 2010
Excellent
November 2, 2015
Even though this book has been out for over a decade, it still speaks to gay people of today, particularly those seeking to marry. Perhaps it has even led the way.
Forty-eight-year-old Chris Thayer has spent twenty-two years married to a man who comes to the relationship as a widower with three children. Now that man has decided that he is bisexual and is positioned to dump Chris and really marry a real woman.
The novel then proceeds to show how Chris establishes a new life apart from his husband and children, who affectionately call him “Mom.” In the kind of legal agreement that can probably only take place in fiction, Chris receives a healthy monetary settlement without having to go to court and decides to build a new life, replete with a small home by the ocean in North Carolina. Yet his children, the youngest of whom turns out to be a gay man, as well, are somewhat imprinted, can’t seem to do without Chris’s help; that’s how close he’s gotten to them in the time that he has been Mom. Chris, who has never worked outside the home, also very easily finds a job as a receptionist for a couple of shrinks—good money, flexible hours. Nice, if you can get it. Chris then meets someone new, a man ten years his junior—such a contrast to the man he lived with so long, who was the older one. They fall in love and decide to build a life together, meshing their somewhat different lives together. Enough said about plot.
In some ways the book is ahead of its time. Only one or two states have adopted gay marriage at the time this book comes out, and so the novel seems prescient in one sense. On the other hand, all of us who write fiction should be wary of dwelling too much on electronic devices. No matter how up-to-date the device is in the novel, within a year, it’s going to be toast. In a decade it’s going to a real anachronism. The only other weakness I can see in the novel is that some scenes are a bit “talky.” Dialogue is always important; it brings the lives of the characters alive, creates a certain bit of the novel’s fabric. But if it slows the narrative pace, if it sounds stilted, or worse yet, apes the words that the author finds cute or important, it’s going to read that way. Otherwise, Back Where He Started is a fine read, worth the time, even now, early in 2015.
Forty-eight-year-old Chris Thayer has spent twenty-two years married to a man who comes to the relationship as a widower with three children. Now that man has decided that he is bisexual and is positioned to dump Chris and really marry a real woman.
The novel then proceeds to show how Chris establishes a new life apart from his husband and children, who affectionately call him “Mom.” In the kind of legal agreement that can probably only take place in fiction, Chris receives a healthy monetary settlement without having to go to court and decides to build a new life, replete with a small home by the ocean in North Carolina. Yet his children, the youngest of whom turns out to be a gay man, as well, are somewhat imprinted, can’t seem to do without Chris’s help; that’s how close he’s gotten to them in the time that he has been Mom. Chris, who has never worked outside the home, also very easily finds a job as a receptionist for a couple of shrinks—good money, flexible hours. Nice, if you can get it. Chris then meets someone new, a man ten years his junior—such a contrast to the man he lived with so long, who was the older one. They fall in love and decide to build a life together, meshing their somewhat different lives together. Enough said about plot.
In some ways the book is ahead of its time. Only one or two states have adopted gay marriage at the time this book comes out, and so the novel seems prescient in one sense. On the other hand, all of us who write fiction should be wary of dwelling too much on electronic devices. No matter how up-to-date the device is in the novel, within a year, it’s going to be toast. In a decade it’s going to a real anachronism. The only other weakness I can see in the novel is that some scenes are a bit “talky.” Dialogue is always important; it brings the lives of the characters alive, creates a certain bit of the novel’s fabric. But if it slows the narrative pace, if it sounds stilted, or worse yet, apes the words that the author finds cute or important, it’s going to read that way. Otherwise, Back Where He Started is a fine read, worth the time, even now, early in 2015.
May 2, 2010
I liked the story, however I did find the "mom" and "baby" stuff too sentimental.
January 20, 2011
I laughed, I cried, I smiled, and felt warm all over. Great sentimental book.
April 11, 2014
I love books that let you get to know the entire family, not just the two mc's. This was one of those books.
August 25, 2014
There were parts of this book that bothered me but all in all I liked it a lot.
February 24, 2016
4.5
If you loved the book, you'll also enjoy the audible version.
If you loved the book, you'll also enjoy the audible version.
October 4, 2021
This was excellent...I really enjoyed this 'starting all over' story.
Really great narration too!
Really great narration too!
August 20, 2017
This was a Litsygoespostal book. In general I liked it and the writing was good. It was an LGBTQ romance, only the second I've read in my effort to read more diversely. I'm not a romance reader and this book reminded me why because it got fairly sappy at times. Also had a bit too much religious undertone for me.
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