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Hailey's Coyote
Evan is on a mission to bring down the rogue pack that has been terrorizing the community. He didn't expect to stumble across his mate in the process. Hailey just moved in and was not prepared for the man of her dreams to knock her off her feet. Only one thing is stopping them from their happily ever after, Evan's prey has turned the tables and now Hailey's life is in Evan's hands.
60 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 5, 2011
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9 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
December 26, 2011
While the idea of this story has some merit (plus one doesn't find too many coyote shifters in fiction), there are some serious flaws that make this story difficult to read.
The story structure is off. It switches between scenes with next to no transition. Some sections have an over abundance of description - mostly useless - while other sections have very little when there needed to be a lot more.
The sex scenes were detached, mechanical and oddly placed. Mating fever or no, I cannot believe two people would start having sex after 2 minutes of being in each others' presence. There needed to be more non-sexual action, some dialogue, something to give transition between meeting, the female MC's departure & return, and the two MCs having their first sexual interlude.
The editing and grammar was atrocious. I'm fairly certain that editing was a minimal concern for this piece when it should have been a primary concern post-writing.
Overall, it reads like a second draft of a story that has potential if more polishing and attention is given to it.
The story structure is off. It switches between scenes with next to no transition. Some sections have an over abundance of description - mostly useless - while other sections have very little when there needed to be a lot more.
The sex scenes were detached, mechanical and oddly placed. Mating fever or no, I cannot believe two people would start having sex after 2 minutes of being in each others' presence. There needed to be more non-sexual action, some dialogue, something to give transition between meeting, the female MC's departure & return, and the two MCs having their first sexual interlude.
The editing and grammar was atrocious. I'm fairly certain that editing was a minimal concern for this piece when it should have been a primary concern post-writing.
Overall, it reads like a second draft of a story that has potential if more polishing and attention is given to it.
September 1, 2012
This book had potential, the general story line was intriguing but the author didn’t really fill it out much. Ever watch a movie trailer that has all this absolutely great stuff in it, then you watch the movie and find out that what was in the 2 minute preview was all the best parts of the movie and the rest was crap? Well the author didn’t even give the crap. A basic rundown is man runs into woman while doing something out and about, he’s a shifter and knows at the first touch she is his mate, they have sex he goes to take care of his business, comes back, they have sex again, he goes out to do business, big bad tries to make life difficult, man steals woman to hide her away someplace she is not allowed to leave. They have lots of sex, he goes to work, she stays home, she gets kidnapped by big bad, he saves her in the nick of time. The end
I am really not kidding when I say that is all there is to the book. Now, here are my issues with it.
1. What self-respecting woman is going to let some man take her away from her life, home, family and stash her away in a glorified prison?
2. When big bad kidnaps said prisoner, the alert is set out and all able bodied coyote shifter males are sent out to look for her, not one can find her…NONE! What about this enhanced crap they talk about?
3. Manly man comes and is told they can’t find the female and he shifts and finds the blood (the others found it too) and he is able to follow footprints, drag marks and blood to a cabin…..Why couldn’t any of the other shifters? Really?!
4. This may be a little of the “TMI” for some of you, so no offense, but this man’s cock is too big for her fingers to completely encircle yet he invades her “virgin ass” after a couple pumps of two fingers….Ummm I think not…
5. This is a problem I see with a lot of self-published authors, if you want to sell books, you want people to read more than one of your books, and you want people to recommend your book I have one piece of advice…GET A CRITIQUE GROUP! Or at the very minimum pay someone to READ the book and look for spelling and grammar errors…Nothing takes me out of the scene quicker than stumbling over bad grammar or horrific spelling. I do make exceptions for foreign authors who print in English though, but only if their stories are good enough to balance it out. This author had extra words and misuse of words. I can see how she put something in and thought she might change it later and forgot to take out a couple words that totally ruins a paragraph because you don’t quite know what’s going on.
So there you have it, read at your own risk.
I am really not kidding when I say that is all there is to the book. Now, here are my issues with it.
1. What self-respecting woman is going to let some man take her away from her life, home, family and stash her away in a glorified prison?
2. When big bad kidnaps said prisoner, the alert is set out and all able bodied coyote shifter males are sent out to look for her, not one can find her…NONE! What about this enhanced crap they talk about?
3. Manly man comes and is told they can’t find the female and he shifts and finds the blood (the others found it too) and he is able to follow footprints, drag marks and blood to a cabin…..Why couldn’t any of the other shifters? Really?!
4. This may be a little of the “TMI” for some of you, so no offense, but this man’s cock is too big for her fingers to completely encircle yet he invades her “virgin ass” after a couple pumps of two fingers….Ummm I think not…
5. This is a problem I see with a lot of self-published authors, if you want to sell books, you want people to read more than one of your books, and you want people to recommend your book I have one piece of advice…GET A CRITIQUE GROUP! Or at the very minimum pay someone to READ the book and look for spelling and grammar errors…Nothing takes me out of the scene quicker than stumbling over bad grammar or horrific spelling. I do make exceptions for foreign authors who print in English though, but only if their stories are good enough to balance it out. This author had extra words and misuse of words. I can see how she put something in and thought she might change it later and forgot to take out a couple words that totally ruins a paragraph because you don’t quite know what’s going on.
So there you have it, read at your own risk.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 15, 2012
This was a very poorly done story. The proofreading of grammar was lacking, and the story didn’t hold true or realistic for me. The shifter’s approach to his mate was more based on deception and assault than it was on a genuine sense of honour or affection. In fact, I would say it bordered on abusive. I had great expectations of this story, as it involves coyote shifters rather than the more common werewolves, but those expectations were dashed. Rest assured, Ididn’t enjoy reading it and it will not be reread.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews