You Know I Can't Hear You When the Water's Running by Robert Anderson

by Robert Woodruff Anderson

As the New York Daily News briefly breaks in on a difference of opinion between an earnest young dramatist and his matter-of-fact producer who doesn't like the opening moment of the play. A wife is having breakfast in bed and she says something to her husband, who is in the bathroom. So he comes out, jaybird naked, and yells to her. 'You know I can't hear you when the water's running.' The producer doesn't think this confrontation is quite nice or necessary. The author insists that the scene is quite important and, after all, it lasts only an instant. So a quarrel over taste develops, and a job-hunting actor becomes involved. He eagerly begins to strip, demonstrating how he would handle the role. Also involved is the producer's secretary shows us a couple who, wed twenty-five years, come to a store to pick out a new bed or beds. Should they buy twin beds or a double? They don't get much sales effort from the salesman for the salesman is gay. Into the discussion, uninvited, comes a blonde young thing who wants a big bed because she is all alone. maintains the light humor of the first two, but at base it is serious and touching as it shows [parents] discussing the sex education of their almost-adult children, a girl and boy. [The father] is quite moving when he learns in a letter that his son is cutting adrift from the parental harbor. For a windup there is about two old, old people sitting on a porch in a pair of rocking chairs and talking. Just talking and of course they don't know how funny they are. Each has had one or more previous marriages and perhaps a few flings, but they are hazy as to details. In fact, they don't always know which one the other one is." THE SHOCKOF RECOGNITION calls for 3 men, 1 woman, INTERIOR; THE FOOTSTEPS OF DOVES for 2 men, 2 women, INTERIOR; I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS for 1 man, 2 women, INTERIOR; and I'M HERBERT for 1 man, 1 woman.

Genres: Plays, Theatre

Paperback

First published January 1, 1967

About the author

Robert Anderson (born Robert Woodruff Anderson) was an American playwright, screenwriter, and theater producer.

He is best remembered as the author of Tea and Sympathy. The play made its Broadway debut in 1953 and was made into an MGM film in 1956; both starred Deborah Kerr and John Kerr.

Reviews

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Four one-act plays:

The Shock of Recognition (3m, 1f)
The Footsteps of Doves (2m, 2f)
I'll Be Home For Christmas (1m, 2f)
I'm Herbert (1m, 1f)

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Is it possible that I've never actually read these plays before? An old professor of mine used to talk about this so much, I felt as though I knew the plays, but once I began reading, I was hooked, and very aware that they were quite new to me.

All four of these short plays are extremely well written and would be incredibly fun to see staged. Though quite humorous, each seems to have an adult edge, making them not quite viable for the high school crowd.

Of the four, I laughed quite a bit while reading "I'm Herbert" and would like very much to see and/or direct this play.

Highly recommended reading.

[Maleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't read a lot of plays, but I picked that genre for my book group, so I've been mowing through them. This one made me laugh quite a bit. I made my husband read it. I have found a lot of plays that I did not appreciate because of content, but this one (although the content may seem crass) was perfect. It was done tactfully and humorously. Loved it.

[Lee Riggs · Rating 3 out of 5]

A dated play script of four short acts, first performed on Broadway in 1967. My dad was in a community production of this in the early 70's and when I ran across the title recently, I thought it would be interesting to revisit it. I don't recall if I ever actually saw a performance, or just went along to a few rehearsals.
Each act has 2-4 actors, and some are (intentionally) funnier than others. The ending piece, I'm Herbert, was the least successful, at least as read now. It features an older married couple, each on their third or so marriage, in great cognitive decline, not recalling whom they are currently married to, nor who was around at other points in their lives.
The best piece, in my opinion, was the opener, The Shock of Recognition, in which a playwright is pushing to have an actor appear nude in a play. Considering what we see on television now, or even or phones, this one felt very dated, but some of the points it brings up (body shaming, self-worth, using sex to sell something) are very current issues.
A big part of the fun of reading this was looking at the lists of other plays on offer, and not recognizing more than two out of about 50. (The Transfiguration of Benno Blimpie?)

[Ben Ockrim]

You Know I Can't Hear You When the Water's Running: Very funny, engaging short play. Related very much to Jack about men needing to see normal, not plastic, male nudity, so they can laugh at themselves, but also feel proud to be a man. Kinda sweet, almost touching...

The Footsteps of Doves: I absolutely loved this play right up until the ending. The premise: a married couple disagreeing over whether to move from one double to two single beds is fascinating, but I was extremely disappointed that George gave up his ideal. I suppose he learns to be thankful for what he had and embrace change, but it's a bit depressing.

I'll be Home for Christmas: A frustrating conflict because Edith was right in the argument, though I agreed with Chuck that if you don't care that your spouse cheats, then it's not true love (I'm an old fashioned romantic...) I liked the set-up with the letter; initially I didn't like its payoff, but I'm beginning to realise that it was a fantastic way to bring Edith and Chuck together, and show the limits of both interventionist and laissez-faire parenting. It's a bit of plot convenience to have Chuck hold onto it for so long though.

I'm Herbert: A bittersweet vignette about the co-dependency of old couples.

[Calum Orr · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this was funny and profund in manageable doses. Would like to see it on stage.

[Shawn Deal · Rating 4 out of 5]

A nice play about married life, if a bit dated.

[Carolyn Page · Rating 3 out of 5]

A series of four short plays, presented with an intermission. Comedy, drama. Looking at life from different perspectives (new to me, anyway). The first play deals with a producer and playwright arguing over putting controversial material on stage, actions centered around the line "You know I can't hear you when the water's running". The following plays deal with potentially controversial material and topics and psychology--for 1967 anyway. It is funny, and it is intense.

[Thomas Propest · Rating 4 out of 5]

These plays were really good, I would recommend "My Name is Harold" first and foremost.

[Robert · Rating 3 out of 5]

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