Lion in the Cellar by Pamela Branch

by Pamela Branch

Other than her Uncle George, Sukie was the only member of the notorious Heap family who was still at large. Her great-grandfather was one of two family members immortalized in wax at Madame Tussaud’s Chamber of Horrors. He had invented a particularly nasty machine gun. The other was Sukie’s grandmother, who one day had taken an axe and promptly disposed of five of her neighbors. Sukie’s mother later tried her hand at arson and was sent to a mental institution. Sukie defiantly explained, as had her mother before her, that insanity did not run in the family. After all, her grandmother had been hanged—and the British do not execute the insane. The Heaps were definitely being maligned. Why, her Uncle George couldn’t even bear the sight of blood, which is no doubt why he preferred to strangle his victims. So, naturally, when Mr. Bentley turned up dead with a bloody axe at his side, Sukie’s husband figured she was at last taking up the family trade and proceeded to cover up the crime. And why not? Other than a tendency to lie outrageously, Sukie was a very nice person.

Genres: Mystery, Crime

Paperback

First published January 1, 1951

About the author

An author of comic-mysteries remembered for her wicked sense of humor, Pamela Byatt was born in 1920 on a tea estate in Ceylon, and was educated in England & France; studying art and theater. In England, Pamela married Newton Branch. They traveled extensively, living in places such as Cyprus and Ireland; and, amongst other jobs, both tried writing. The Branches divorced in the late 1950s. In 1962, she married James Edward Stuart-Lyon. Around this time, she was rumored to have been working on a fifth book, but no one knows what became of it. Pamela Branch died of cancer in 1967. http://www.ruemorguepress.com/authors...

Reviews

[mark monday · Rating 2 out of 5]

frenetic murder-farce. the bodies keep piling up and pointing in poor Sukie's direction. it doesn't help that her mother has been committed to an insane asylum for arson and her grandmother was executed for massacring folks with an ax; with a lineage like that, she's everyone's first suspect. Sukie herself is not all there, to say the least. I'd commit her without thinking, but perhaps in this book her deranged boneheadedness is meant to be charming? unfortunately and fortunately for Sukie, she is surrounded by a dozen or so completely amoral neighbors who are prone to both blackmail and to being paid to hide various bodies. she also has a sauve, occassionally helpful uncle who is currently terrorizing London as the notorious Strangler.

that paragraph above was a bit more enjoyable to type out than reading the book itself. too broad and pleased with itself for my tastes. Pamela Branch did seem to really enjoy writing this and I suppose I'm not against folks having a nice time with their hobbies, so good for her. and the uncle was a great character, what with his seething snobbery, blood phobia, and frequently curtailed plans to finally strangle the annoying frenemy who lives at the same gentleman's club. I imagine George Sanders in this role.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you need an antidote to the legions of charming, perky, entrepreneurial heroines in the current crop of cozies, let me introduce the Heap family. The only ones around now are Sukie, married to aspiring barrister Hugh Chandor, and her bon-vivant uncle George, now that Sukie's mother has been institutionalized (arson) and the police hanged Granny, proof positive that she wasn't really insane. When Hugh finds Sukie trying to hide a murdered body, naturally he thinks--and Sukie's persistent lies don't help matters. The rather mixed group that gather at the local pub help or hinder the young couple, while nervously watching over their shoulders for the Strangler who's been plaguing London.

[Laura Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is screwball-comedy on paper; but less rom-com, more death. Imagine: the insanest & ghastliest bits of Arsenic and Old Lace with those kooky, loveable, murderous aunts.

All the characters are up to something wickedly funny, the outrageousness builds as their storylines crisscross. At the center is Sukie, a habitual liar with a history of amnesia and a few murderous ancestors. She solicits a neighbor to help her investigate/incriminate the suspects/neighbors... including themselves.

Alistair sighed. "Even if we presume that it wasn't you, how do we know it was any of them?"

"I don't. I just hope so. Where were you on Tuesday evening? What is your alibi?"

"Don't be absurd! Why should I want an alibi?"

Sukie looked at him sideways and wrote something on her sheet of paper. "What was your motive?"

"I didn't have a motive. I didn't to it. You did. What are you writing?"

"Motive - Don't know."

"What do you mean Don't know? I tell you I hadn't got one. Put None."

"You must have one. If you kill people without one, you're mad."

[notgettingenough · Rating 2 out of 5]

Great potential, but I was disappointed way too far from the end.

[Rosemary · Rating 4 out of 5]

Murder is not the problem in this kooky 1950s comedy - it's getting rid of the bodies that's the hard part. The regulars of the Carp public house in a London backwater juggle a stuffed lion with the victims of an axe murderer and a strangler. Those who aren't murderers are mostly blackmailers or thieves … except for Sukie and Hugh Chandor, who are roped in because Sukie, who comes from a family of psychopaths, is easily convinced that she must be one too.

I enjoyed this lighthearted but bloodthirsty romp, and I’m looking forward to reading the rest of Pamela Branch’s small oeuvre.

[🐴 🍖]

pamela branch, man...

[Adam Stevenson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lion in the Cellar would make a great film, or it would have done when it came out in the 50s as this is essentially a classic Ealing Comedy, Passport to Pimlico meets The Ladykillers. Alternately, I think Edgar Wright could still probably do a good job of it.

An ensemble piece set in a few houses, their local pub and the bomb site they back on to. Sukie Heap is a member of a prestigious local family, her mother was locked up for arson and her grandmother hanged for being an axe-murderer. He grandmother is even a waxwork in the Chamber of Horrors she also has a great-uncle who is a waxwork at Madame Tussaud’s but he’s celebrated for inventing a machine gun and is regarded as the black sheep.

When a body turns up in her garden, she assumes she created it as does her husband. This starts a huge farce where the body is swapped with a stuffed lion called Roarer and various neighbours get involved, either as help, as hinderance or as blackmail. When more bodies appear, the ones that have already been knocking about need to be moved and we get huge rounds of body-swapping.

This is not to mention Sukie’s uncle, George. He’s a polite, well-to-do man who’s scared of blood, which is why he is secretly a notorious strangler who keeps bungling his latest kill.

The more normal characters in the book include The Queue, the campest dark-dirty villain I’ve ever read, a woman who lives in an Anderson shelter with a goat, a man who thinks his horse can talk and a man who starts to be plagued by a white marmoset if he ever sobers up.

It’s silly and fun, although I actually found it hard to follow. Some of this was 50s London slang and some was simply how strange the characters were, they couldn’t be predicted. (For example, we get an out-of-nowhere remark that a minor character ‘loves water’, there isn’t much we can do with this information).

I’d love to go back in time and fund a film of it though, Stanley Holloway as the bartender.

[Ashley Lambert-Maberly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rather odd book. The characters exhibited very little resemblance to real life--a bit like a Wodehouse cast, except without the delightful charm that reconciles the reader to the characters nonetheless. In her dead the author was considered rather funny, but it doesn't quite come off as intended nowadays, or at least didn't for me.

I'm intrigued enough to risk reading her again--despite it's sort of a 2 1/2 stars book for me, upgraded due to historical circumstances (if it were a modern book it would be 2, no more).

(Note: 5 stars = amazing, wonderful, 4 = very good book, 3 = decent read, 2 = disappointing, 1 = awful, just awful. I'm fairly good at picking for myself so end up with a lot of 4s).

[James · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read more times than I can remember. Reread 2024.

[Katie H · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very fun read