Q:'Tongue in Both Cheeks'.(c) This is a must-read for anyome maddened with the office stuff! A himorous innoculation against getting fed up with hierarchiology, structurophillia, staticmanship, bureaucracies, meetings, trainings, ream buildings, procedures, politics, interaction, communication, actions and inaction. Q: “If you don’t know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.” (c)
Q:
In a Hierarchy Every Employee Tends to Rise to His Level of Incompetence...
Peter’s Corollary states:In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties.
... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence...
“The combined Pull of several Patrons is the sum of their separate Pulls multiplied by the number of Patrons.” (Hull’s Theorem.) The multiplication effect occurs because the Patrons talk among themselves and constantly reinforce in one another their opinions of your merits, and their determination to do something for you. With a single Patron, you get none of this reinforcement effect. “Many a Patron makes a promotion.”...
Never stand when you can sit; never walk when you can ride; never Push when you can Pull...
In any economic or political crisis, one thing is certain. Many learned experts will prescribe many different remedies.(c)
Q:
The Percussive Sublimation
The Lateral Arabesque
Peter’s Inversion
Hierarchal Exfoliation
Peter’s Bridge
Peter’s Pretty Pass
Peter’s Circumambulation
There’s no Patron like a new Patron!
Final Placement
The Alger Complex
the Pseudo-Achievement Syndrome
Peter’s Nuance
Hypercaninophobia (top-dog fear)
Summit Competence
Compulsive Incompetence
Abnormal Tabulology
Phonophilia
Papyrophobia
Papyromania
Fileophilia
Tabulatory Gigantism
Tabulophobia Privata
Auld Lang Syne Complex
Rigor Cartis (an abnormal interest in the construction of organization and flow charts, and a stubborn insistence upon routing every scrap of business in strict accordance with the lines and arrows of the chart, no matter what delays or losses may result)
Compulsive Alternation
Teeter-Totter Syndrome
The Downward, Upward and Outward Buckpasses
The John Q. Public Diversion
The Caesarian Transference.
Cachinatory Inertia
Structurophilia
Edifice Complex
Initial and Digital Codophilia
General Purpose Conversation
Side-Issue Specialization
Peter’s Placebo
Utter Irrelevance
Ephemeral Administrology
Convergent Specialization
Peter’s Parry
Creative Incompetence
Socrates Complex
Hierarchal Regression
(c) Delicious Terms!
Q:
I have not been protected from the Peter Principle. Recently a school of business administration invited me to give a lecture and then scheduled my appearance in no less than five different rooms at the same time. An association of industrial engineers and systems experts asked me to address their convention but misinformed me regarding the date, the time, and the place. Appliances I have purchased still fail to operate, or break down within thirty days, my car is returned from the service shop with mysterious defects, and the government continues to increase the number of regulations which influence my life, while it ensnares itself in bureaucratic red tape. (c)
Q:
My father loved The Peter Principle because it explained why life could be so maddening—and why everyone around you seems, or is doomed to become, incompetent. The people who ran the U.S. Navy and the shipyards didn’t intend to do such lousy work. They were simply victims of Dr. Peter’s immutable principle. They had been promoted inevitably, maddeningly, absurdly to their “level of incompetence.” Dr. Peter also taught my father not to expect the few competent bureaucrats and managers he encountered to stick around for long, as they would soon be promoted to a job that they were unable to perform properly. (c)
Q:
The root of the entire book, the condition of incompetence that Peter called “Final Placement Syndrome,” leads some to develop “Abnormal Tabulology” (an “unusual and highly significant arrangement of his desk”). This pathology is manifested, for example, in “Tabulatory Gigantism” (an obsession with having a bigger desk than his colleagues). My father’s business was especially afflicted with the “Teeter-Totter Syndrome” (“a complete inability to make decisions”) and “Cachinatory Inertia” (“the habit of telling jokes instead of getting on with business”). (c)
Q:
The popular press occasionally writes about this theme, such as in Jared Sandberg’s 2007 Wall Street Journal piece on the virtues of “strategic incompetence.” Sandberg reports that a manager named Steve Crawley was assigned to organize an office picnic, but was eventually relieved of the job (which he didn’t want) by intentionally demonstrating deep confusion and incompetence. As Sandberg concludes, “Strategic incompetence isn’t about having a strategy that fails, but a failure that succeeds. It almost always works to deflect work one doesn’t want to do—without ever having to admit it.” (c)
Q:
I have noticed that, with few exceptions, men bungle their affairs. Everywhere I see incompetence rampant, incompetence triumphant.
I have seen a three-quarter-mile-long highway bridge collapse and fall into the sea because, despite checks and double-checks, someone had botched the design of a supporting pier.
I have seen town planners supervising the development of a city on the flood plain of a great river, where it is certain to be periodically inundated.
Lately I read about the collapse of three giant cooling towers at a British power-station: they cost a million dollars each, but were not strong enough to withstand a good blow of wind.
I noted with interest that the indoor baseball stadium at Houston, Texas, was found on completion to be peculiarly ill-suited to baseball: on bright days, fielders could not see fly balls against the glare of the skylights. (c)
Q:
Wellington, examining the roster of officers assigned to him for the 1810 campaign in Portugal, said, “I only hope that when the enemy reads the list of their names, he trembles as I do.” (c)
Q:
Early in 1940, British scientists knew that the cheap, simple addition of a little powdered aluminum would double the power of existing explosives, yet the knowledge was not applied till late in 1943. (c)
Q:
In the same war, the Australian commander of a hospital ship checked the vessel’s water tanks after a refit and found them painted inside with red lead. It would have poisoned every man aboard. (c)
Q:
I am no longer amazed to observe that a government-employed marriage counselor is a homosexual. (c) Uh-huh. And I knw of a real textbook on family life recently compiled by a nun. One can only hope she's very knowledgeable of the subject.
Q:
I recently ordered six hundred square feet of fiber glass insulation for a cottage I am renovating. I stood over the clerk at the order desk to make sure she got the quantity right. In vain! The building supply firm billed me for seven hundred square feet, and delivered nine hundred square feet! (c)
Q:
I receive mail from a large university. Fifteen months ago I changed my address. I sent the usual notice to the university: my mail kept going to the old address. After two more change-of-address notices and a phone call, I made a personal visit. I pointed with my finger to the wrong address in their records, dictated the new address and watched a secretary take it down. The mail still went to the old address. Two days ago there was a new development. I received a phone call from the woman who had succeeded me in my old apartment and who, of course, had been receiving my mail from the university. She herself has just moved again, and my mail from the university has now started going to her new address! (c)
Q:
A multitude of different explanations is as bad as no explanation at all. (c)
Q:
We see indecisive politicians posing as resolute statesmen and the “authoritative source” who blames his misinformation on “situational imponderables.” Limitless are the public servants who are indolent and insolent; military commanders whose behavioral timidity belies their dreadnaught rhetoric, and governors whose innate servility prevents their actually governing. In our sophistication, we virtually shrug aside the immoral cleric, corrupt judge, incoherent attorney, author who cannot write and English teacher who cannot spell. At universities we see proclamations authored by administrators whose own office communications are hopelessly muddled; and droning lectures from inaudible or incomprehensible instructors.(c)
Q:
Seeing incompetence at all levels of every hierarchy—political, legal, educational and industrial—I hypothesized that the cause was some inherent feature of the rules governing the placement of employees. Thus began my serious study of the ways in which employees move upward through a hierarchy, and of what happens to them after promotion. (c)
Q:
Probationer-teacher C. Cleary’s first teaching assignment was to a special class of retarded children. Although he had been warned that these children would not accomplish very much, he proceeded to teach them all he could. By the end of the year, many of Cleary’s retarded children scored better on standardized achievement tests of reading and arithmetic than did children in regular classes.
When Cleary received his dismissal notice he was told that he had grossly neglected the bead stringing, sandbox and other busy-work which were the things that retarded children should do. He had failed to make adequate use of the modelling clay, pegboards and finger paints specially provided by the Excelsior City Special Education Department. (c)
Q:
“Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.”(c)
Q:
Is Exfoliation for You?
Would you like to be somewhere else? Is your present placement in military service, school or business your choice or are you a victim of legal or family pressure? With planning and determination you, too, can make yourself either super-competent or super-incompetent. (c)
Q:
For instance, when asked to comment on how her son achieved his military prowess, George Washington’s mother answered, “I taught him to obey.” America was thus presented with one more non sequitur. How can the ability to lead depend on the ability to follow? You might as well say that the ability to float depends on the ability to sink. (c)
Q:
The situation is worse than it used to be when civil service and military appointments were made through favoritism. (c)
Q:
S. Freud seems to have come closer than any earlier writer to discovering the Peter Principle. Observing cases of neurosis, anxiety, psychosomatic illness, amnesia, and psychosis, he saw the painful prevalence of what we might call the Generalized Life-Incompetence Syndrome.
This life-incompetence naturally produces sharp feelings of frustration. Freud, a satirist at heart, chose to explain this frustration mainly in sexual terms such as penis envy, castration complex and Oedipus complex. In other words, he suggested that women were frustrated because they could not be men, men because they could not bear children, boys because they could not marry their mothers and so on...
Always looking within the patient, he became famous on the strength of his theory that man is unconscious of his own motivations, does not understand his own feelings and so cannot hope to relieve his own frustrations. The theory was unassailable, because nobody could consciously and rationally argue about the nature and contents of his unconscious.
With a stroke of professional genius he invented psychoanalysis, whereby he said he could make patients conscious of their unconscious.
Then he went too far, psychoanalyzed himself and claimed to be conscious of his own unconscious. (Some critics now suggest that all he had ever accomplished was to make his patients aware of his own—Freud’s—unconscious.) In any event, by this procedure of self-psychoanalysis he kicked the ladder from under his own feet.
If Freud had understood hierarchiology, he would have shunned that last step, and would never have arrived at his level of incompetence.(c) This is wonderful! Dear old Freud might have been beatedn at his own game!
Q:
C. N. Parkinson, eminent social theorist, accurately observes and amusingly describes the phenomenon of staff accumulation in hierarchies. But he tries to explain what he calls the rising pyramid by supposing that senior employees are practicing the strategy of divide and conquer, that they are deliberately making the hierarchy inefficient as a means of self-aggrandizement.
This theory fails on the following grounds. First, it assumes intent or design on the part of persons in supervisory positions. My investigations show that many senior employees are incapable of formulating any effective plans, for division, conquest or any other purpose. (c) Love it!
Q:
2) A favorite recommendation of efficiency experts is the appointment of a co-ordinator between two incompetent officials or two unproductive departments. A popular fallacy among these experts and their clients is that “Incompetence co-ordinated equals competence.”(c)
Q:
Socrates was an incomparable teacher, but found his level of incompetence as a defense attorney. (c)
Q:
Many F.P.S. patients feel anxious because they know quite well that they are doing very little useful work. They are unlikely to follow any suggestion that they should do still less.(c)
Q:
The competent employee normally keeps on his desk just the books, papers and apparatus that he needs for his work. After final placement, an employee is likely to adopt some unusual and highly significant arrangement of his desk. (c)
Q:
One teeter-totter victim in government service resolved his problem in an original manner. When he got a case that he could not decide, he would simply remove the file from the office at night and throw it away. (c) LoL!
Q:
Church committees, school trustees and foundation boards find themselves in the same complex situation. They see so much incompetence in the professions that they decide to invest in buildings rather than people and programs. As in other psychological complexes, this results in bizarre behaviour. (c)
Q:
I drew the inference that the hierarchy cannot trust a man who manages his finances so well that he does not rush to the bank and cash or deposit his pay check in order to cover his bills. Spellman, in short, had shown himself incompetent to behave as the typical employee is expected to behave; hence he had made himself ineligible for promotion. (c)
Q:
Refusal to pay one’s share of the firm’s or department’s Social Fund; refraining from drinking coffee at the official coffee break; bringing one’s own lunch to a job where everyone else eats out; persistent turning off of radiators and opening of windows; refusing contributions to collections for wedding and retirement gifts; a mosaic of stand-offish eccentricity (the Diogenes Complex) will create just the modicum of suspicion and distrust which disqualifies you for promotion. (c)