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THE BEST OF THE REST OF MILTON BERLE'S PRIVATE JOKE FILE 10,000 MORE OF THE WORLD'S FUNNIEST GAGS, ANECDOTES, AND ONE-LINERS
Gathers 10,000 of the world's funniest gags, anecdotes, and one liners, in a diverse, alphabetically arranged collection that tramples everything from business and honeymoons to lawyers and salespeople.
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First published October 1, 1994
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About the author
Milton Berle
27 books10 followersMendel "Milton Berle" Berlinger was an Emmy-winning American comedian and actor. As the manic host of NBC's Texaco Star Theater from 1948–1955, he was the first major star of television and as such became known as Uncle Miltie or Mr. Television to millions during TV's golden age.
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
October 30, 2022
Milton Berle (some of you older folks may know) was one of a number of stand-up comedians from the 1930’s and 1940’s whose specialty was “one-liners,” that is, very short jokes. These comedians were by and large Jewish and came up through Vaudeville, the “Borsch Belt” circuit, radio and television. My favorite of these was Henny Youngman, who played a violin between jokes; others include Myron Cohen, Jackie Mason, Morey Amsterdam, and Shelly Berman. The philosophy, as Mr. Youngman, once quipped, is that if you throw the audience a hundred jokes an hour and they laugh at four or five, you’ve done your job. I guess the closest any contemporary comedian would come would be the likes of Stephen Wright.
I got this tome from a Little Free Library, and it contains about 10,000(!) such one-liners, categorized alphabetically by subject matter. And, keep in mind, this is Volume 2! As I’m a big fan of one-liners and puns, this was a (mostly) very enjoyable read, although one should not take in too many of these at once, hence the extended time it took me to finish it.
I sort of kept track of the categories with the most jokes, and those are, not surprisingly, Doctors/Psychiatrists, Hollywood, Politicians, Marriage, Money, Religion, Sex, Lawyers and New York. I would caution, however, that, consistent with the times, many of these jokes are racist and sexist, which may make the contemporary reader cringe (as did I).
So here are some samples:
(Circus) “How about the guy who got a job as the Human Cannonball? He got hired and fired on the same night.”
(Money) “I couldn’t reduce my bills even if I put them on microfilm.”
(Politicians) “Elections should be held at Christmas. That way, if we don’t like who we elect, we can exchange them.”
(Popular/Unpopular) [three pages of Rodney Dangerfield jokes] “I had a rough childhood. I had to share my sandbox with the cat.”
(Psychiatrists) “A man complains to his psychiatrist, ‘I’m always talking to myself.’ The psychiatrist says, ‘A lot of people talk to themselves.’ The man says, “I know, But I’m such a bore.’”
(Farm Life) “A gentleman farmer is one who has whitewall tires on his manure spreader.”
(Husbands) “I told my wife that men become better with age, so she made me sleep in the wine cellar.”
(Talking) “They have a club for compulsive talkers. It’s called On-and-On Anon.”
OK, one more:
(Weddings) “A little girl is a guest at a wedding and asks her mother, ‘Why is the bride wearing white?’ The mother explains, ‘White is the color of purity and the future and happiness.’ The little girl asks, ‘Why is the groom wearing black?’”
The last chapter is a sort of how-to on doing “Roasts,” which are typically meant to be good-natured send-ups of the “guest of honor,” mostly with mild but funny insults. Mr. Berle acknowledges George Jessel, who was a master of such events and earned the sobriquet, “The Toastmaster General of the United States.” The chapter convers such things as how to time the jokes, the sequence of speakers, making sure that you get to know the person being roasted, and just how much they are able to take, plus a goodly number of such insults. Back in the 1970’s and 1980’s, Dean Matin hosted many of such events, typically televised and for a charity. I’ve seen some of the more contemporary roasts, which seem to go “over the edge” for some jokes, but the “roastee” is typically in on the whole thing and hurls some zingers him/herself.
Overall, as I said, a (mostly) fun read for me. Recommended for those who like this sort of humor. 4½ stars.
I got this tome from a Little Free Library, and it contains about 10,000(!) such one-liners, categorized alphabetically by subject matter. And, keep in mind, this is Volume 2! As I’m a big fan of one-liners and puns, this was a (mostly) very enjoyable read, although one should not take in too many of these at once, hence the extended time it took me to finish it.
I sort of kept track of the categories with the most jokes, and those are, not surprisingly, Doctors/Psychiatrists, Hollywood, Politicians, Marriage, Money, Religion, Sex, Lawyers and New York. I would caution, however, that, consistent with the times, many of these jokes are racist and sexist, which may make the contemporary reader cringe (as did I).
So here are some samples:
(Circus) “How about the guy who got a job as the Human Cannonball? He got hired and fired on the same night.”
(Money) “I couldn’t reduce my bills even if I put them on microfilm.”
(Politicians) “Elections should be held at Christmas. That way, if we don’t like who we elect, we can exchange them.”
(Popular/Unpopular) [three pages of Rodney Dangerfield jokes] “I had a rough childhood. I had to share my sandbox with the cat.”
(Psychiatrists) “A man complains to his psychiatrist, ‘I’m always talking to myself.’ The psychiatrist says, ‘A lot of people talk to themselves.’ The man says, “I know, But I’m such a bore.’”
(Farm Life) “A gentleman farmer is one who has whitewall tires on his manure spreader.”
(Husbands) “I told my wife that men become better with age, so she made me sleep in the wine cellar.”
(Talking) “They have a club for compulsive talkers. It’s called On-and-On Anon.”
OK, one more:
(Weddings) “A little girl is a guest at a wedding and asks her mother, ‘Why is the bride wearing white?’ The mother explains, ‘White is the color of purity and the future and happiness.’ The little girl asks, ‘Why is the groom wearing black?’”
The last chapter is a sort of how-to on doing “Roasts,” which are typically meant to be good-natured send-ups of the “guest of honor,” mostly with mild but funny insults. Mr. Berle acknowledges George Jessel, who was a master of such events and earned the sobriquet, “The Toastmaster General of the United States.” The chapter convers such things as how to time the jokes, the sequence of speakers, making sure that you get to know the person being roasted, and just how much they are able to take, plus a goodly number of such insults. Back in the 1970’s and 1980’s, Dean Matin hosted many of such events, typically televised and for a charity. I’ve seen some of the more contemporary roasts, which seem to go “over the edge” for some jokes, but the “roastee” is typically in on the whole thing and hurls some zingers him/herself.
Overall, as I said, a (mostly) fun read for me. Recommended for those who like this sort of humor. 4½ stars.
August 7, 2012
Talk about hit or miss! The ten percent of these jokes that land make it worth wading through those that don't, but you'll feel like Moses wandering the gag desert between winners.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews