Let the Baby Drive: Navigating the Road of New Motherhood

by Lu Hanessian

For more than a decade, Lu Hanessian had been living on the go, traveling the globe as a successful television host and journalist. But nothing could have prepared her for her biggest assignment: motherhood. Her baby redefined her world, turning her precious beliefs and perceptions on their head. He threatened her defenses and whipped up her fears like a cyclone. Like most new mothers, Lu wanted answers. Going by the book didn't seem to work and Popular Opinion was not at all popular with her baby. So she did the only thing she could under the circumstances: she let the baby drive. Along that uncharted road, Lu unearthed her intuition, discovered the power of a baby's voice, the changing dynamic of marriage, and the unexpected merits of self-doubt. In following a journey from chaos to conviction, her voice will inspire mothers everywhere.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Memoir

272 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2004

Reviews

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

what an amazing, introspective, compassionate book by a very talented writer.

first, an emotional response to the book:
this was the first book i came across that described the intensity of the newborn phase with honesty. i didn't fully accept until reading this that other women may have had equally difficult experiences. my baby cried a lot- it seemed like it was all the time. but hanessian's experience broadened the spectrum for me (her baby was more sensitive and "fussy" than mine) and i began to see that there definitely are other babies out there who have a rough time. and it made my experience seem more universal and less problematic.

after her son outgrows the early infancy period and becomes happier, she details other experiences: toddlerhood, a new sibling, preschool. she writes with uncommon insight and warmth and she inspired me to start writing about my own experience.

if i had to sum up her argument, i'd put it this way: if you can find a way to shut out the criticism and advice from others (and yourself) and find a way to trust in and listen to your children from birth on, the rewards for them, as well as for you will be innumerable.

[Shirin · Rating 5 out of 5]

From the very beginning, this book rang so true to me. Hanessian is a great writer and captures the complex emotions of new motherhood so well. It's especially amazing that she could write about those early days so perfectly, they are just a big dark fog in my mind. I appreciate how she analyzes all the little things that go on with her child as he grows and the realizations she comes to are invaluable. It is geared more toward attachment parenting advocates in the loosest sense, i.e. those who favour building a trusting and secure relationship where their child is valued and respected as a person and not treated as a project to control. I can't count the times I nodded and smiled in agreement at things she said, and yes it did make me cry! However, I disagree with reviewers who would call it sappy or over-sentimental (whatever the standard for that is for new mothers!) She actually injects a fair bit of humour and does not take herself too seriously, without going into self-deprecating territory. This is a must-read for new parents. If I had to pick one book for a father or anyone else to understand what it's like being a mom, this would be it. My child is one year old now so I will probably read this again when she is older and draw even more from her experiences.

[Inder · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ugh. Overwrought, strangely humorless, sentimental schlock. I'm baffled at the overwhelmingly positive reviews. Being an attachment-parenting mother to a super-sensitive child is no excuse for tedious memoir writing.
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I was so baffled by all of those good reviews that I decided to give this another chance (also, it was the only book on my nightstand), and read another couple of chapters. I did manage to get past the strangely depressing beginning and find a little bit of humor (though it's still way overdramatic), but then it turned preachy and negative again. Sigh.

[Fjola · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kinda torn, want to give this a 3.5. The end had me rooting for her and feeling all mother bear about her experience with preschool. The beginning I repeatedly rolled my eyes at her references to the moms whose kids are "good babies". From her descriptions my baby apparently falls into that category - but there are a billion shades of "good" out there, and no one has it easy all the time. I am not career oriented, nor do I wish I was, and having a baby was the only thing on my mind so parts of this were hard to relate to. I glad I didn't put it down though, there are a lot of poignant moments that made me stop to think, and several that made me grateful for my "luck".

[Kyla · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title of this book directly opposes my own parenting philosophy - ahem, I'M the driver of this particular vehicle, thanks. It's a testimony to the authors thoughtfulness that I read an entire book based on something I vehemently disagree with. I don't happen to think co-sleeping is the only way and that rules could squash a child's spirit. That I stuck around for the entire book to thoughtfully consider her ideas is a compliment, I guess.

[Asher · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book I'd like to add to my collection. A glimpse of an attachment parenting mama in action. We join her from her early days with her first son, through the transition when she has a second son. Down to earth and encouraging.

[Alice · Rating 4 out of 5]

for new mothers or mothers to be or those considering it.

[Natalie Valenzuela · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm not sure if I'll finish this one. I can only relate to the first year. Although I have really enjoyed her sense of humor about motherhood and the challenges it entails.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome read - I could totally relate to the author's story. Loved it!

[Marisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Elaine, I can't thank you enough for recommending this book! Beautifully written, honest, and truly heartfelt. The most eloquent parenting memoir I've read

[Jenna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book. Mostly stories on how Lu Hanessian raised her two kids, and her realizations on listening to kids.

[Leonie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fantastic. Need to get past the first few chapters that start to feel like a bit of a rant. But the morale of the story is awesome, something all mums should hold on to.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book about motherhood, I will re read as my LO continues to grow. I loved that the author offered no advice just analyzed and explored her experiences: a very quick read

[Naomi Ash · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved everything about this book, except for too many adjectives

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very entertaining and heartfelt

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lu's honest book is a pleasure to read. And her advice is good!