DUMB F*CK

by T. Torrest

"It's just like Airplane! except it's a book.
With way more sex scenes.
Oh, and also there're no airplanes."
~T. Torrest

SAGE MARISOUX
Fresh out of college, the beautiful but clumsy valedictorian of American University is ready to step out from under her famous father’s shadow and take on the world. Little does she know, the big city holds more adventure than she bargained for. What’s a girl supposed to do when her heart is torn between two completely different men?

ZEUS INTERSTELLAR
The New York City billionaire is astrology’s most infamous bad boy. He’s smart, he’s polished, and he’s only got two things on his mind at any given work and sex. When beautiful virgin Sage walks in for a job interview, Zeus realizes she may have just provided him a way to combine the best of both worlds. Oh, and also he’s really into BDSM.

JAVIER CALIENTE
An Olympic athlete with a heart of gold. Not too much character development to report, here. Basically, he’s hot and stupid and he has a big dick that he wants to use on Sage, but he likes her enough to want to take the relationship slow. But like, not for the whole book or anything, so it’s all good.

Contains a love triangle, misrepresented BDSM, mistaken identity, a secret twin, hospital visits, a kidnapping, a murder, a dinosaur, amnesia, lots and lots of gratuitous sex, unfathomable stupidity, blatant plot holes, overused tropes, clichéd characters, excessive adverbs, and repeated use of the word “moist.” Consider yourself warned.

240 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 26, 2023

About the author

T. Torrest is a romance and chick-lit author from the U.S.; her alter ego writes eroticomedy under the name T. Torrid. Her stories are geared toward readers of any age that know how to enjoy a good laugh and a dreamy romance.

Ms. Torrest was a child of the eighties, but has since traded in her Rubik's cube for a laptop and her Catholic school uniform for a comfy pair of yoga pants. She's a pop-culture junkie, a movie aficionado, and an enthusiast of talking about herself in the third person. A lifelong Jersey girl, she currently resides there with her husband and two sons.

She also really digs it when she hears from readers, and is known to use words like "dig" in a non-sarcastic way. You can find out more about her books at her website: www.ttorrest.com


She also LOVES to get friend requests on goodreads and facebook http://www.facebook.com/pages/TTorres... and personal messages from readers via email ttorrest@optonline.net.

Reviews

[Brandee (un)Conventional Bookworms · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good golly but Dumb F*ck was all kinds of fun! With 90's references, Scooby-Doo vibes, and equal parts silly and HOT, Dumb F*ck delivered everything I expect from T. Torrest. Well, everything except the serious. LOL T. Torrest dubbed this an eroticomedy and I like that description. Dumb F*ck is not serious. NOPE. Not at all. It is a serious bit of hot, silly fun. It's a fluffy, short read that will have you alternately laughing and fanning yourself. It was a quick read that absolutely brightened my mood. Dumb F*ck is the perfect way to kick off your summer reading!

[T. Torrest · Rating 5 out of 5]

T. Torrest has taken the romance genre and turned it against itself. No author's works are safe, including her own. The result is a ridiculously funny and sexy book.
You'll be horny with laughter! Pure comedy gold, people!

[Stevie Kisner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dumb Fuck is the bastard love-child of an illicit three-way between Scary Movie, Airplane! and Debbie Does Dallas.

It’s deliciously stupid. Gloriously bent. And completely irrestistible.

I haven’t snort-laughed with such abandon while reading a book since I can’t even remember when. T Torrest has taken ordinary words (plus some she completely made up) and twisted them seamlessly to lead you down her scorching smutty trail of silliness. Just surrender to the ride.

Nothing is too sacred to mess with here, not even the plot. And why would there be, when the bubble-headed valedictorian of an astrology college is the smartest one in the story? There’s a love triangle, a mystery, a sex chair, this thing I won’t mention, this other unexpected thing I can’t name, and more debauchery and euphemisms for a man’s junk and tackle than you’ll find in most 240-page books.

Pop references? Got ‘em. Breaking the 4th wall? Check. Steamy sex? Well, duh. Unexpected vampires and dinosaurs? You betcha. Plus there’re interactive bits, and even an Intermission so you can run off and grab some popcorn. Or lube.

I am seriously jonesing to list my favorite surprises and laugh-til-I-nearly-peed-myself moments in this brilliantly moronic-erotica story, but I can’t bring myself to wreck it for anyone else. Do yourself a solid and get a Dumb Fuck of your own.

P.S. Did I mention it’s HOT?

[Kari · Rating 5 out of 5]

TTorrest is my honest-to-goodness favorite author. She writes the most fantastic characters, and you can’t help but love the world she creates with her writing.
This book is obviously no different.
Thank you so much, Tina, for sharing your words with the world. You’re absolutely insanely hilarious and I’ll always be rooting for your success - everyone should read your stuff because it’s THAT GOOD.

[Mick C · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a crazy and fun story about a woman who meets two men and can't decide who she wants to be with. Be sure to keep an open mind and enjoy the craziness that the author brings us. Especially when we get a pet dinosaur thrown in the mix.

[NICUnurse Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m going to preface this by stating that erotica isn’t usually something I read. But I kind of adore this author’s other books, so when a favorite author of mine is coming back from a hiatus, I had to jump in to help spread the word about her new release. I’ll admit I skimmed most of the sexy times scenes, though. Please hear me loud and clear: If you’re looking for a low-spice romance or even a typical rom-com, this is NOT going to be what you’re looking for. And if you don’t like comedy like in the movie, Airplane or the Austin Powers flicks, this will definitely not be the book for you. But if you liked those films, you will love this crazy funny book full of fantastic 80s references, an outrageous plot, and just plain fun. I typically read while trying to fall asleep, but I had to relegate reading this book to daytime hours because I spent entirely too much time genuinely laughing out loud, and my husband would not have appreciated being laughed awake! While I’m more than looking forward to what this author brings us next in her romance and rom-coms, despite being relatively far outside of my comfort zone with the spice level, this story was a much-needed escape from some pretty heavy stuff in my world right now.

NICUnurse’s Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

[Sasha Says · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh goodness- this is a hoot! There's really no other way to describe it other than the way the author herself did: "Tropey, cliché, and completely absurd, T. Torrest has elevated bad writing to an art form. Bravo." So FUN!

[Michelle Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I said it on twitter, but I’ll say it here too. This book is the Sharknado of romance novels. Over the top, but engaging. Funny and silly, but you still want to know where it could possibly go next. Highly recommend.

[Lynn Estell · Rating 2 out of 5]

I gave this a shot after reading Down the Shore by this author.
Sorry.....I just cannot finish this even if it is satire.
I was raised in the era of Mad Magazine and this was just too far out.

[chloegirl · Rating 1 out of 5]

Too ridiculous to enjoy. Good author but not really my favorite from her!