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Girl Land
The physical, emotional, and social milestones of every girl's what we've lost and gained in the 21st century.
The physical, emotional, and social milestones of every girl's what we've lost and gained in the 21st century.
Caitlin Flanagan's essays about marriage, sex, and families have sparked national debates. Now she turns her attention to the biological and cultural milestones for girls today, and how they shape a girl's sense of herself.
The transition from girl to woman is an experience that has changed radically over the everything from how a girl learns about her period to how she expects to be treated by boys and men. Girls today observe these passages very differently, and yet the landmarks themselves have remained remarkably constant-proof, Flanagan believes, of their significance. In a world where protections of girls' privacy and personal freedom seem to disappear every day, the ultimate challenge modern parents face is finding a way to defend both.
The physical, emotional, and social milestones of every girl's what we've lost and gained in the 21st century.
Caitlin Flanagan's essays about marriage, sex, and families have sparked national debates. Now she turns her attention to the biological and cultural milestones for girls today, and how they shape a girl's sense of herself.
The transition from girl to woman is an experience that has changed radically over the everything from how a girl learns about her period to how she expects to be treated by boys and men. Girls today observe these passages very differently, and yet the landmarks themselves have remained remarkably constant-proof, Flanagan believes, of their significance. In a world where protections of girls' privacy and personal freedom seem to disappear every day, the ultimate challenge modern parents face is finding a way to defend both.
192 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 12, 2012
78 people are currently reading
1768 people want to read
About the author
Caitlin Flanagan
5 books69 followersCaitlin Flanagan is a four-time finalist for the National Magazine Award. Her essays have appeared in Best American Essays 2003, and Best American Magazine Writing 2002, 2003, and 2004. She has made numerous national media appearances. She has been the subject of profiles and critiques in the New York Observer, Ms., The New Republic and various other publications. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and children.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 114 reviews
January 15, 2012
I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads.
First of all, this book is a quick, engaging read. I finished it in a single afternoon. It is not academic in tone or content, and the intended audience appears to be parents of adolescent girls or soon-to-be adolescent girls (not quite what I was expecting). I found it incredibly difficult to relate to this book on all but a few points, as it is rife with stereotypes. I don't mean that the book merely describes stereotypes, I mean that Flanagan's entire analysis seems to rely on them. The focus is on the stereotypical girlhood/adolescence transformation of middle-class American white girls, with a heavily (let me repeat, HEAVILY) hetero-normative approach. For reference, I am an American white cis-female in my 20's from a middle-class family and for the majority of the time I had no idea where Flanagan was coming from (the "prom" chapter was especially ridiculous). Since I found fault in so many of Flanagan's arguments relating to my own teen years, I found it difficult to believe her analyses about decades past. The information presented was interesting, to be sure, but the view seems so narrow and generalized (an odd juxtaposition, but somehow possible in this book) that I'm not even sure what to make of it.
I think the stereotypes and hetero-normative assumptions are really the downfall of this book. Flanagan claims that girls are more sensitive than boys, that they must be sheltered and protected, that a male figure is necessary in order for girls to have a successful (safe) dating life, and actually claims that girls do not "get" anything out of sex acts like oral sex ("a girl may derive a variety of consequences, intended and otherwise, from servicing boys in this manner [performing oral sex], but her own sexual gratification is not one of them" (pg 179)). This quote disturbed me primarily because it places such ridiculous boundaries on what "can" (or "should") be pleasurable for girls. How can Flanagan seriously attempt to dictate what sex acts result in "sexual gratification" for either person involved? Things like "petting" are discussed but in general, penis-in-vagina sex is pretty much the end-all-be-all of sex acts in this book, and the view of sex and sexuality presented here is incredibly narrow minded. Rather than analyzing or challenging the hetero-normative socialization of girls (historically and even currently), Flanagan seems to accept it as a given.
Overall, I was expecting a book more scholarly in tone, with more critical analysis of society itself and how it shapes the lives of female teens. I guess I was expecting more of a hybrid anthropological/critical feminist approach, but the author seems to have formed most of the book around her own experiences and seminal pop-culture from her own girlhood. A lot of Girl Land makes assumptions about the "inner lives" of girls and teens in general, which comes across as naive and somewhat offensive and exclusive. I felt that Flanagan's voice was far too prominent throughout the book, blending research with opinion in such a way that it just seemed sloppy. Harsh, maybe, but I think this book would have been much more successful in its arguments if Flanagan had better separated her own narration and personal views from her research/critical analysis. This book is hardly a chronicle of "Girl Land", but rather a chronicle of "American-white-heterosexual-middle-class-suburban Girl Land"--and even within that niche, focuses on the stereotypes. In general, a very disappointing read. I was expecting a lot more from this book.
First of all, this book is a quick, engaging read. I finished it in a single afternoon. It is not academic in tone or content, and the intended audience appears to be parents of adolescent girls or soon-to-be adolescent girls (not quite what I was expecting). I found it incredibly difficult to relate to this book on all but a few points, as it is rife with stereotypes. I don't mean that the book merely describes stereotypes, I mean that Flanagan's entire analysis seems to rely on them. The focus is on the stereotypical girlhood/adolescence transformation of middle-class American white girls, with a heavily (let me repeat, HEAVILY) hetero-normative approach. For reference, I am an American white cis-female in my 20's from a middle-class family and for the majority of the time I had no idea where Flanagan was coming from (the "prom" chapter was especially ridiculous). Since I found fault in so many of Flanagan's arguments relating to my own teen years, I found it difficult to believe her analyses about decades past. The information presented was interesting, to be sure, but the view seems so narrow and generalized (an odd juxtaposition, but somehow possible in this book) that I'm not even sure what to make of it.
I think the stereotypes and hetero-normative assumptions are really the downfall of this book. Flanagan claims that girls are more sensitive than boys, that they must be sheltered and protected, that a male figure is necessary in order for girls to have a successful (safe) dating life, and actually claims that girls do not "get" anything out of sex acts like oral sex ("a girl may derive a variety of consequences, intended and otherwise, from servicing boys in this manner [performing oral sex], but her own sexual gratification is not one of them" (pg 179)). This quote disturbed me primarily because it places such ridiculous boundaries on what "can" (or "should") be pleasurable for girls. How can Flanagan seriously attempt to dictate what sex acts result in "sexual gratification" for either person involved? Things like "petting" are discussed but in general, penis-in-vagina sex is pretty much the end-all-be-all of sex acts in this book, and the view of sex and sexuality presented here is incredibly narrow minded. Rather than analyzing or challenging the hetero-normative socialization of girls (historically and even currently), Flanagan seems to accept it as a given.
Overall, I was expecting a book more scholarly in tone, with more critical analysis of society itself and how it shapes the lives of female teens. I guess I was expecting more of a hybrid anthropological/critical feminist approach, but the author seems to have formed most of the book around her own experiences and seminal pop-culture from her own girlhood. A lot of Girl Land makes assumptions about the "inner lives" of girls and teens in general, which comes across as naive and somewhat offensive and exclusive. I felt that Flanagan's voice was far too prominent throughout the book, blending research with opinion in such a way that it just seemed sloppy. Harsh, maybe, but I think this book would have been much more successful in its arguments if Flanagan had better separated her own narration and personal views from her research/critical analysis. This book is hardly a chronicle of "Girl Land", but rather a chronicle of "American-white-heterosexual-middle-class-suburban Girl Land"--and even within that niche, focuses on the stereotypes. In general, a very disappointing read. I was expecting a lot more from this book.
i-gave-up
December 4, 2013I won this through First Reads. 30 pages in and I'm already annoyed with the author. Lots of hyperbole: "Every woman I know feels that..." Really? Every woman?
May 11, 2012
What I thought this book was going to be: a series of essays about the milestones of puberty (dating, getting your period, losing your virginity) and how the cultural view on them has changed through the years.
What this book actually is: a series of essays in which generalizations are presented as facts, boys are presented as all-id troglodytes out to rape your daughters, and those daughters are introspective, fragile flowers who must be protected from the wolves at the door waiting to ravish them.
I did not know from Caitlin Flanagan before I picked up this book; apparently, she is somewhat of a polarizing figure in the feminist journalism world. When her blanket statements weren't flat out wrong: "One of the signal differences between adolescent girls and boys is that a boy does not fetishize the tokens of his childhood."--Um, hello? COMIC CON--they were so all over the place that I couldn't tell what side she was on. In other infuriating places, she calls Anne Frank's quote about people being good at heart her "most famous and least convincing declaration," blames rap music for the ruination of popular culture and the erosion of morals, and spends a good chunk of the chapter called "Sexual Initiation" digressing about Patty Hearst, who wasn't "sexually initiated" by the SLA, as she had a live-in boyfriend. She was, however, repeatedly raped by the SLA, which brings us to one of Flanagan's favorite topics. This woman is unnaturally, unhealthily obsessed with rape. It seems in her world, beginning in "Girl Land," which is not only the title of the book but the cutesy appellation she ascribes to puberty, rape is everywhere and can happen at any time, by any man. She talks about how sad and disillusioning it is the first time a man or boy whistles or hoots at you from a passing car. Now, maybe it's because I was an ugly duckling during my own teen years, but I remember being often annoyed and just as often secretly thrilled that I was the subject of any whistle, and now, at 43, I'd not so secretly love it. It never once made me sad that my childhood was over, and I would now have to fight off the crude advances of cavemen.
In another place, Flanagan finds a letter to the editor in a 1969 issue of Seventeen magazine to probably be false because the writer uses the expression "a good deal afraid" and to Flanagan, that sounds like a "society woman at lunch," yet just twenty pages later, when she's reading a book that's a diary of a teenage girl whose permissive parents led her to a life of drug abuse, sex, and suicide, she quotes from it "We are quite lovely to behold," and relays that it's the "kind of stilted language [Tammy] favored." She is shown clear evidence that teens can sometimes use flowery language, especially written language, yet she doubts the one and not the other?
Worst of all is the chapter "Moral Panics," in which she is all over the place describing the idea of rainbow parties/train parties, and the preponderance of oral sex amongst young teens today. It is impossible to tell where she really stands on this, other than to say it is of course horrible, and you can't tell if she blames Bill Clinton, bad parenting, Jews (no lie), rap music, porn, or all of the above. She then ends the chapter by saying that she would be sad, but not overly so, if she found out her kids had engaged in oral sex, because...wait for it...HER KIDS ARE BOYS, SO IT'S NOT AS BAD. And then she says girls can't possibly get off on giving blow jobs. Now, I think that pop culture is way more extreme than when I was a child, and I have a seven year-old daughter that I am terrified will get pregnant in high school, let alone give blow jobs in middle school. But if Flanagan gets no pleasure from sucking a dick, she's doing it wrong. If at all.
The book ends with a short chapter on her suggestions for how you can protect your daughters' Girl Land--such helpful hints as "do a 15-minute internet search for porn, so you can see what horrible things are out there," and "be more strict with your daughters than your sons; they'll thank you later." This is followed by an epilogue in which she shits all over the memory of her late mother (which she did briefly in an earlier chapter, also). I realized early on how much I hated this book; I kept reading for the thrill of being so angry.
What this book actually is: a series of essays in which generalizations are presented as facts, boys are presented as all-id troglodytes out to rape your daughters, and those daughters are introspective, fragile flowers who must be protected from the wolves at the door waiting to ravish them.
I did not know from Caitlin Flanagan before I picked up this book; apparently, she is somewhat of a polarizing figure in the feminist journalism world. When her blanket statements weren't flat out wrong: "One of the signal differences between adolescent girls and boys is that a boy does not fetishize the tokens of his childhood."--Um, hello? COMIC CON--they were so all over the place that I couldn't tell what side she was on. In other infuriating places, she calls Anne Frank's quote about people being good at heart her "most famous and least convincing declaration," blames rap music for the ruination of popular culture and the erosion of morals, and spends a good chunk of the chapter called "Sexual Initiation" digressing about Patty Hearst, who wasn't "sexually initiated" by the SLA, as she had a live-in boyfriend. She was, however, repeatedly raped by the SLA, which brings us to one of Flanagan's favorite topics. This woman is unnaturally, unhealthily obsessed with rape. It seems in her world, beginning in "Girl Land," which is not only the title of the book but the cutesy appellation she ascribes to puberty, rape is everywhere and can happen at any time, by any man. She talks about how sad and disillusioning it is the first time a man or boy whistles or hoots at you from a passing car. Now, maybe it's because I was an ugly duckling during my own teen years, but I remember being often annoyed and just as often secretly thrilled that I was the subject of any whistle, and now, at 43, I'd not so secretly love it. It never once made me sad that my childhood was over, and I would now have to fight off the crude advances of cavemen.
In another place, Flanagan finds a letter to the editor in a 1969 issue of Seventeen magazine to probably be false because the writer uses the expression "a good deal afraid" and to Flanagan, that sounds like a "society woman at lunch," yet just twenty pages later, when she's reading a book that's a diary of a teenage girl whose permissive parents led her to a life of drug abuse, sex, and suicide, she quotes from it "We are quite lovely to behold," and relays that it's the "kind of stilted language [Tammy] favored." She is shown clear evidence that teens can sometimes use flowery language, especially written language, yet she doubts the one and not the other?
Worst of all is the chapter "Moral Panics," in which she is all over the place describing the idea of rainbow parties/train parties, and the preponderance of oral sex amongst young teens today. It is impossible to tell where she really stands on this, other than to say it is of course horrible, and you can't tell if she blames Bill Clinton, bad parenting, Jews (no lie), rap music, porn, or all of the above. She then ends the chapter by saying that she would be sad, but not overly so, if she found out her kids had engaged in oral sex, because...wait for it...HER KIDS ARE BOYS, SO IT'S NOT AS BAD. And then she says girls can't possibly get off on giving blow jobs. Now, I think that pop culture is way more extreme than when I was a child, and I have a seven year-old daughter that I am terrified will get pregnant in high school, let alone give blow jobs in middle school. But if Flanagan gets no pleasure from sucking a dick, she's doing it wrong. If at all.
The book ends with a short chapter on her suggestions for how you can protect your daughters' Girl Land--such helpful hints as "do a 15-minute internet search for porn, so you can see what horrible things are out there," and "be more strict with your daughters than your sons; they'll thank you later." This is followed by an epilogue in which she shits all over the memory of her late mother (which she did briefly in an earlier chapter, also). I realized early on how much I hated this book; I kept reading for the thrill of being so angry.
February 8, 2012
A few years ago, I was about 24 at the time, I was walking on Lexington Avenue near 85th St, in the middle of the day. I over heard the teenage boy in front of me (couldn't have been more than 14) call the teenage girl next to him several names, including ho,bitch etc. What did she do? Shrug! I was stunned. Needless to say, I stopped the young "gentlemen" asked him to repeat himself and when he refused, told him he may never call women those names again ever! I then turned to the young "lady" and told her to never to let anyone treat her with such disrepect ever again. Ironically, when I was 14 - just a decade older than this young woman - no boy or man could have gotten away with treating me or any of my friends or school mates that way. It was done - but none of us stood for it. Even the girls desperate for attention, would walk away.
I mention this story because I just finished Girl Land and the author Caitlin Flangan describes as a whole what my story is a microcsom of: the brain washing of young women to believe they are valueless.
Needless to say, I found the book intriguing.
I enjoyed Ms. Flanagan's discussion of young women and the "oral sex" trend of the mid 2000s. (Dr. Phil really is a sick jerk.)
Her discussions about dating and coming of age brought clarity to my own girl-to-grown up phases. Some reviewers take issue with Ms. Flanagan's comments about girls growing up with out fathers. Being the daughter of a single mother with no father figure, I was the object of unwanted attention. It wasn't until my mother's boyfriend interceded on my behalf that I was left alone.
Ms. Flanagan's arguments on why the theory that women reach their sexual peak in their mid 30s (while men reach theirs in their late teens) is outright wrong made a lot of sense. The chapter on Proms is entertaining ... I never went to mine for many of the reasons cited by Ms. Flanagan. Separately, why are teenage girls not allowed to pursue their sexual desires? Why are women charged with keeping men's desires in check? Intriguing questions, whose answers I took for granted. Now, I am not so sure ...
I recently advised my 14-year old female mentee to save sex (oral, genital etc) for when she is older, ie (a)in love, and (b) both mentally and physically prepaired for the consequences (and not just STDs and Babies). I didn't try to scare her. I didn't predict dire consequences or depreciation of her pesonal value. Instead I advocated treating herself with respect and giving herself the time to arrive mentally at a place where both A and B are realities.
Given my advice, she will probably be old enough to have her own health insurance before she has sex for the first time. And, that is not a bad thing.
All joking aside, has Ms. Flanagan's book caused me to change this advice? No.
I applaud (and stand for) a women's right to choose how and what she wants to do with her body. However, I believe society has devalued women, especially young women. To a large extent, Flanagan makes this same argument.
So, what is Girl Land? It appears to be a place where young women are protected and allowed to develop on their own terms free from society's interference. Reminds me of The Red Tent concept - a place for girls and young women to inquire, ask questions, reflect and mature at their own rate.
Should we bring back Girl Land? It appears Flanagan believes so as it will give women an opportunity to mature into the fully realized sexual beings that we are.
Is this practical? I don't know. Is it a necessity? Given society's current treatment of women, and young women's accepatance of it (see example above), YES! I think we start by teaching our daughters to value themselves for themselves.
I mention this story because I just finished Girl Land and the author Caitlin Flangan describes as a whole what my story is a microcsom of: the brain washing of young women to believe they are valueless.
Needless to say, I found the book intriguing.
I enjoyed Ms. Flanagan's discussion of young women and the "oral sex" trend of the mid 2000s. (Dr. Phil really is a sick jerk.)
Her discussions about dating and coming of age brought clarity to my own girl-to-grown up phases. Some reviewers take issue with Ms. Flanagan's comments about girls growing up with out fathers. Being the daughter of a single mother with no father figure, I was the object of unwanted attention. It wasn't until my mother's boyfriend interceded on my behalf that I was left alone.
Ms. Flanagan's arguments on why the theory that women reach their sexual peak in their mid 30s (while men reach theirs in their late teens) is outright wrong made a lot of sense. The chapter on Proms is entertaining ... I never went to mine for many of the reasons cited by Ms. Flanagan. Separately, why are teenage girls not allowed to pursue their sexual desires? Why are women charged with keeping men's desires in check? Intriguing questions, whose answers I took for granted. Now, I am not so sure ...
I recently advised my 14-year old female mentee to save sex (oral, genital etc) for when she is older, ie (a)in love, and (b) both mentally and physically prepaired for the consequences (and not just STDs and Babies). I didn't try to scare her. I didn't predict dire consequences or depreciation of her pesonal value. Instead I advocated treating herself with respect and giving herself the time to arrive mentally at a place where both A and B are realities.
Given my advice, she will probably be old enough to have her own health insurance before she has sex for the first time. And, that is not a bad thing.
All joking aside, has Ms. Flanagan's book caused me to change this advice? No.
I applaud (and stand for) a women's right to choose how and what she wants to do with her body. However, I believe society has devalued women, especially young women. To a large extent, Flanagan makes this same argument.
So, what is Girl Land? It appears to be a place where young women are protected and allowed to develop on their own terms free from society's interference. Reminds me of The Red Tent concept - a place for girls and young women to inquire, ask questions, reflect and mature at their own rate.
Should we bring back Girl Land? It appears Flanagan believes so as it will give women an opportunity to mature into the fully realized sexual beings that we are.
Is this practical? I don't know. Is it a necessity? Given society's current treatment of women, and young women's accepatance of it (see example above), YES! I think we start by teaching our daughters to value themselves for themselves.
January 31, 2012
Girl Land mostly encompasses Flanagan's spotlight view of affluent girls and women on the west coast and their twisted perceptions due to mainstream Hollywood.
I had mixed feelings about Girl Land and it was certainly not what I expected. Being the youngest daughter of seven children, three others of which were girls, I could relate to her during some instances in Girl Land. For example the catcalls from the boys and at first feelings of confusion then later when I got older sort of missing that attention. However even after 40 I still catch men taking glances at me now and then, so this phase boys and men go through never does really end, it just gets more subtle as they get older. At other times I felt she was too generalized in her depictions of girls as both my daughters had Internet in their rooms and neither of my daughters got involved with dating until their late teens. In fact, my youngest daughter is in a permanent relationship with the only guy she has ever dated in her life at the age of 20. I never had a problem with my girls seeking out porn on the Internet, in fact they were more involved in playing their PlayStation or Nintendo games. We even allowed boys in their rooms and never had to ask them to keep the door open and it was always a video game hangout party. One thing my daughters rarely did was watch television, so maybe Flanagan has her electronics mixed-up. I feel if you want to place blame on society corrupting girls, television is the worst.
When Flanagan writes about the prom she speaks as if all girls go to prom with backpacks stuffed with provocative clothing they later change into for an after party. She is of course speaking of girls in a more affluent area where she lived in California, go figure. When it came to prom my daughters are as different as night and day, one wiggled her way into going to two proms with nothing in hand but her petite purse. Her dates brought her home soon after the prom still in her dress, with her hair still done. While my other daughter could have cared less, had no intention of going to any prom and didn't. So you just can't generalize girls even in the same family. However I see the need for Flanagan to keep her generalization to her part of the country, where unsupervised girls learn the only thing important are looks, parties, sex and drugs. Hollywood has that effect on young people and it all has to do with television. Sorry Flanagan our young girls just don't behave this way on the east coast.
Some information in the book, however I did find interesting, especially when she spoke about particular ads running in a teen magazine in the early 1900's, one I read myself as a teen. Another was her reaction to her first menstrual cycle and how she felt about it. I was totally with her on that issue, as I felt the same way. My daughters are only 18 months apart in age and had totally different reactions to their cycles. My youngest daughter kept it to herself when the "friend," as we call it came along and I had no idea. It had been a year. My husband knew before I did because he did the grocery runs at that time and noticed pads were being used more often. While my oldest daughter had a traumatic crying and screaming spell that sent me running to the bathroom, and the whole household knew what had happened. It left her traumatized.
One predicament I had was with Flanagan's writing style and the long sentences she uses throughout her book. This can be quite annoying when you need to go back and re-read the first part of the sentence, due to having forgotten what you have already read. Flanagan reminds me of someone who needs to come up for air before continuing but refuses to. Not a good writing style for adults like me who has ADHD to enjoy. I am not saying that somethings in her book were not worth stopping and contemplating about, as she has a lot of information packed into this little book. I found most of it, however, to be regarding the lives of upper-class girls and women and it certainly didn't pertain to my life.
Another area I didn't agree with her on was regarding her opinions on raising girls vs boys. I have raised both and I have found I am more afraid for my son, then I was for my daughters, when it comes down to society and their peers. My reason being, boys are so much more immature than girls at the same age and even more sensitive. Especially when it comes to their emotions, as boys tend to have trouble expressing emotions and hold it in, unlike girls who are much more open and talkative with their peers. I also don't agree with the father figure being in the home for girls to be or feel secure or protected. My father and brothers never got involved with my dating and they considered it my business. Now if there is physical or mental abuse going on, that is a different situation. But what happens when a "girl" marries? Is she gonna come running home to papa, brother or uncle every time she has a little spat or argument with her husband? That is how girls learn to become a woman by standing up for herself and dealing with her man on her own. This book was entertaining, whether you can relate to Flanagan or not. She has a unique style of writing, that although did not appeal to me, others may find quite enjoyable.
I had mixed feelings about Girl Land and it was certainly not what I expected. Being the youngest daughter of seven children, three others of which were girls, I could relate to her during some instances in Girl Land. For example the catcalls from the boys and at first feelings of confusion then later when I got older sort of missing that attention. However even after 40 I still catch men taking glances at me now and then, so this phase boys and men go through never does really end, it just gets more subtle as they get older. At other times I felt she was too generalized in her depictions of girls as both my daughters had Internet in their rooms and neither of my daughters got involved with dating until their late teens. In fact, my youngest daughter is in a permanent relationship with the only guy she has ever dated in her life at the age of 20. I never had a problem with my girls seeking out porn on the Internet, in fact they were more involved in playing their PlayStation or Nintendo games. We even allowed boys in their rooms and never had to ask them to keep the door open and it was always a video game hangout party. One thing my daughters rarely did was watch television, so maybe Flanagan has her electronics mixed-up. I feel if you want to place blame on society corrupting girls, television is the worst.
When Flanagan writes about the prom she speaks as if all girls go to prom with backpacks stuffed with provocative clothing they later change into for an after party. She is of course speaking of girls in a more affluent area where she lived in California, go figure. When it came to prom my daughters are as different as night and day, one wiggled her way into going to two proms with nothing in hand but her petite purse. Her dates brought her home soon after the prom still in her dress, with her hair still done. While my other daughter could have cared less, had no intention of going to any prom and didn't. So you just can't generalize girls even in the same family. However I see the need for Flanagan to keep her generalization to her part of the country, where unsupervised girls learn the only thing important are looks, parties, sex and drugs. Hollywood has that effect on young people and it all has to do with television. Sorry Flanagan our young girls just don't behave this way on the east coast.
Some information in the book, however I did find interesting, especially when she spoke about particular ads running in a teen magazine in the early 1900's, one I read myself as a teen. Another was her reaction to her first menstrual cycle and how she felt about it. I was totally with her on that issue, as I felt the same way. My daughters are only 18 months apart in age and had totally different reactions to their cycles. My youngest daughter kept it to herself when the "friend," as we call it came along and I had no idea. It had been a year. My husband knew before I did because he did the grocery runs at that time and noticed pads were being used more often. While my oldest daughter had a traumatic crying and screaming spell that sent me running to the bathroom, and the whole household knew what had happened. It left her traumatized.
One predicament I had was with Flanagan's writing style and the long sentences she uses throughout her book. This can be quite annoying when you need to go back and re-read the first part of the sentence, due to having forgotten what you have already read. Flanagan reminds me of someone who needs to come up for air before continuing but refuses to. Not a good writing style for adults like me who has ADHD to enjoy. I am not saying that somethings in her book were not worth stopping and contemplating about, as she has a lot of information packed into this little book. I found most of it, however, to be regarding the lives of upper-class girls and women and it certainly didn't pertain to my life.
Another area I didn't agree with her on was regarding her opinions on raising girls vs boys. I have raised both and I have found I am more afraid for my son, then I was for my daughters, when it comes down to society and their peers. My reason being, boys are so much more immature than girls at the same age and even more sensitive. Especially when it comes to their emotions, as boys tend to have trouble expressing emotions and hold it in, unlike girls who are much more open and talkative with their peers. I also don't agree with the father figure being in the home for girls to be or feel secure or protected. My father and brothers never got involved with my dating and they considered it my business. Now if there is physical or mental abuse going on, that is a different situation. But what happens when a "girl" marries? Is she gonna come running home to papa, brother or uncle every time she has a little spat or argument with her husband? That is how girls learn to become a woman by standing up for herself and dealing with her man on her own. This book was entertaining, whether you can relate to Flanagan or not. She has a unique style of writing, that although did not appeal to me, others may find quite enjoyable.
January 23, 2012
I've never read anything by Caitlin Flanagan prior to receiving this book through First Reads and won't bother with her other books or articles in the future. Based on the intriguing cover and blurbs I was expecting a book with insightful and witty essays about girlhood, maybe some critical exploration of current culture and was more than disappointed.
Flanagan's description of girlhood is nostalgic in the worst way and broadly assumes that all girls are insecure and weak and that boys are just ignorant savages with no inner life and who can't be trusted to respect girls. I found this book difficult to finish reading between being endlessly frustrated and rolling my eyes at her inane suggestions, such as having parents Google the word "porn" to get an idea of the dangers awaiting their daughters if they allow them to have computers in their bedrooms. I get the feeling that Flanagan is writing to an audience of wealthy pearl-clutching white woman and with very little interest in examining any other experiences of girlhood.
Flanagan's description of girlhood is nostalgic in the worst way and broadly assumes that all girls are insecure and weak and that boys are just ignorant savages with no inner life and who can't be trusted to respect girls. I found this book difficult to finish reading between being endlessly frustrated and rolling my eyes at her inane suggestions, such as having parents Google the word "porn" to get an idea of the dangers awaiting their daughters if they allow them to have computers in their bedrooms. I get the feeling that Flanagan is writing to an audience of wealthy pearl-clutching white woman and with very little interest in examining any other experiences of girlhood.
May 18, 2012
http://bitchmagazine.org/post/10-quot...
Seriously, folks- finally, one of my least favorite writer's bullshit essays in one single volume! Her patriarchyftwsquee articles make my ovaries recoil in relentless horror.
If you liked this book, remove me from your friend list (here and on Facebook, Twitter, etc) ASAP. Thanks.
UPDATE: So, I actually tried to pick up this fuckwittery and attempted to read it. Mission abort due to danger of permanent brain damage due to headdesking. I do have a few suggestions for changing up the title, however: Girl, (your intellectual growth has been permanently) Interrupted. Or, keeping with the original title- Girl, Land (somewhere else far away in another galaxy, please).
Seriously, folks- finally, one of my least favorite writer's bullshit essays in one single volume! Her patriarchyftwsquee articles make my ovaries recoil in relentless horror.
If you liked this book, remove me from your friend list (here and on Facebook, Twitter, etc) ASAP. Thanks.
UPDATE: So, I actually tried to pick up this fuckwittery and attempted to read it. Mission abort due to danger of permanent brain damage due to headdesking. I do have a few suggestions for changing up the title, however: Girl, (your intellectual growth has been permanently) Interrupted. Or, keeping with the original title- Girl, Land (somewhere else far away in another galaxy, please).
November 9, 2014
I am not sorry I read Girl Land, I'm furious. While a small part of my brain holds out that I should be impressed that Caitlin Flanagan could get such a book published, the rest of me remembers why I cancelled my subscription to The Atlantic several years ago when Flanagan and her ilk took over its sensibilities. Flanagan is a type I see more and more making policies and spouting advice -- affluent and raised during the turbulent era of the 1970s, scared perhaps by their own freedoms then, they have become self-serving, self-referential conservatives who cloak their conservativism in a sort of neo-liberal democratic jargon that belies their deeply frightened and therefore reactionary natures.
WIth Girl Land Flanagan, the mother of two boys, offends further, in my opinion, by explaining how the hypersexualized world of today is no big deal to the men she's raising, and then giving advice to the parents of girls that sounds weirldy -- in diction as well as content -- as though it were written in 1957. Without a nod to homosexual girls, poor girls, or girls of color -- without recognizing that any girl who doesn't live in the hills of Berkeley, have her own room, and isn't planning her ivy league education might also be worth protecting (if, indeed, girls need protecting), Flanagan has provided parents of princesses a modern day guide book to keep them safely protected from all of society's ills -- well, actually, only from sex.
This book is so infuriatingly narcissistic and of its own upper middle class culture that I believe steam may actually be coming out of my ears. I'm off to re-cancel my subsciption to The Atlantic, lest I have to encounter Flanagan again.
WIth Girl Land Flanagan, the mother of two boys, offends further, in my opinion, by explaining how the hypersexualized world of today is no big deal to the men she's raising, and then giving advice to the parents of girls that sounds weirldy -- in diction as well as content -- as though it were written in 1957. Without a nod to homosexual girls, poor girls, or girls of color -- without recognizing that any girl who doesn't live in the hills of Berkeley, have her own room, and isn't planning her ivy league education might also be worth protecting (if, indeed, girls need protecting), Flanagan has provided parents of princesses a modern day guide book to keep them safely protected from all of society's ills -- well, actually, only from sex.
This book is so infuriatingly narcissistic and of its own upper middle class culture that I believe steam may actually be coming out of my ears. I'm off to re-cancel my subsciption to The Atlantic, lest I have to encounter Flanagan again.
February 17, 2012
I know that one of the complaints with this book is that the author is talking about the past. That is what makes this book interesting. It shows how far things have come since when the author was going through "girl land".
I think every woman who has a daughter that is about to turn into a teen needs to read this to refresh her memory of what her teenage years were like for her and how they were when she entered them. Then read the last chapter of this book to see how changed things are now.
I loved the idea of having the girl's room being a safety zone since these days, there is no getting away from school and friends with the internet being so easy to access. I was bullied in high school and junior high....and was able to escape when home away from it. These days with Facebook, Twitter, and texting it would have been impossible to. So her idea of a Internet free zone in the girl's room is a good one for this reason.
Don't knock the book because it focus' on the author's growing up. Yes, it was a different time period and she talks of different time periods but she has a point to it that many people seem to miss because they are too busy getting defensive about their own experiences.
I think every woman who has a daughter that is about to turn into a teen needs to read this to refresh her memory of what her teenage years were like for her and how they were when she entered them. Then read the last chapter of this book to see how changed things are now.
I loved the idea of having the girl's room being a safety zone since these days, there is no getting away from school and friends with the internet being so easy to access. I was bullied in high school and junior high....and was able to escape when home away from it. These days with Facebook, Twitter, and texting it would have been impossible to. So her idea of a Internet free zone in the girl's room is a good one for this reason.
Don't knock the book because it focus' on the author's growing up. Yes, it was a different time period and she talks of different time periods but she has a point to it that many people seem to miss because they are too busy getting defensive about their own experiences.
October 16, 2024
my fav book of the year! i talk about this every chance i get!!!! girls and the years of life they turn into women. complex and sad and cute and nostalgic. every girl should read this!!!
April 6, 2012
Expecting an historical comparison of various aspects of growing up female in different periods of time, I was disappointed to find a rambling personal memoir. One chapter, designated "Moral Outrages", instead of comparing a variety of parental panics over the decades concentrates on the media created pseudophenomenon of the "rainbow party" (Not LGBT politics)and the author's personal dismay about this topic. This could have been a fascinating social history. It wasn't. Flappers, Anne Frank, Judy Blume and Prom are all run thru Flanagan's personal blender to create a loosely connected series of essays that read like an undergrad Women's Studies assignment not worthy of a B+. Disappointing.
November 16, 2014
This was crap.
January 18, 2024
BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD HORRIBLY BAD!!!!!! the few golden nuggets are overshadowed by the literal racism ??? do not suggest. DO NOT SUGGEST
December 27, 2016
I...was not a fan of this book. I am not well-versed in the all the theories and thought put behind feminist theories and current (or maybe this was published long enough ago that they are old?) arguments in the field, so please take this review with a large pinch of salt. The writing was fair, some chapters more lively than others. Ms. Flanagan could wax flowery at times...but it could also be that I have been away from humanities writing for so long that if it is not stark and factual, I find it verbose. Mostly I felt her whole discussion of "Girl Land", Ms. Flanagan's take on the transition of girls into women during the teenage years, was stuck in a very middle class, very, VERY white suburbia. Which is to say, she is certainly not pretending to be something she is not. Anecdotes taken from her own teenage years are very clearly set against the backdrop of a middle-class, educated, white family, and her arguments flow from them accordingly. Her examples were familiar to me (being raised white, educated, middle-class), but knowing this only made her view appear more narrow. If her thesis was to build towards her recommendations at the very end, I felt like the recommendations came out of nowhere. Some of the advice seemed fair, but I thought it a bit strange that she thought that young females still need a father figure in their life in their teen years, otherwise they would be less likely able to avoid boys who would take advantage of them sexually. (Boys who are only held in line by a powerful father figure.) Um, I am pretty sure the progression I want the world to take is 1. Teach boys that girls/women are NOT objects for their use, but actual human beings (not treat them respectfully only on the basis of the girl having a stronger-than-they-are male figure in her life), and 2. Educate young girls that they are NOT objects for men's use and teach them signs of abuse (unfortunately, we will have to put some of the burden on women at this time). Another odd moment was an entire paragraph rant about how awful and terrible rap is. I realize she has heard some very sexually explicit and misogynistic rap out there, but I do not think Ms. Flanagan is in a position to criticize rap as someone who is not part of that culture and has likely only heard a sliver of what rap has to offer. Overall, not intersectional feminism, so not really to my taste. Hope the next book on feminism I read is less privileged.
April 10, 2012
This is a well written, excellently researched, engaging book on how the lives and expectations of adolescent and teenage girls has changed over the years. By examining major markers in a girls life that generally signal her ascent into womanhood and how those now occur solidly when society still thinks of her as a girl, Flanagan looks at how this can take a toll on girls.
It's definitely a read for those who either have or work with girls regularly. For me it really reminded me how difficult being a teenage girl is. Using women of the past to illustrate the continuity of experiences Flanagan's observations become universal. One critique however is that when examining sex in Girl Land (which is what she calls that transitionary time when a works through who she is to become and sometimes parents wonder where their daugher went) she ignores the topic of orientation. Sex is difficult enough without factoring in that it a time when many girls are figuring out their own preferences not just in terms of sex in general but in gender of partners.
What Caitlin Flanagan advocates is making your girls room an internet/cell phone free zone. She argues that girls need that "unplugged" time to really sort through thoughts, feelings etc without the pressures of the outside world. While I agree with this, it's difficult to make that happen this way. I would recommend parenting vigilance and fostering as open communication as you can. Absolutely time away from the bombardment of FB and texting and gossip sites is crucial, but so is teaching your daughter (and son!) to be a proper internet user.
All in all it was an enjoyable and interesting read and one that I think is valuable.
It's definitely a read for those who either have or work with girls regularly. For me it really reminded me how difficult being a teenage girl is. Using women of the past to illustrate the continuity of experiences Flanagan's observations become universal. One critique however is that when examining sex in Girl Land (which is what she calls that transitionary time when a works through who she is to become and sometimes parents wonder where their daugher went) she ignores the topic of orientation. Sex is difficult enough without factoring in that it a time when many girls are figuring out their own preferences not just in terms of sex in general but in gender of partners.
What Caitlin Flanagan advocates is making your girls room an internet/cell phone free zone. She argues that girls need that "unplugged" time to really sort through thoughts, feelings etc without the pressures of the outside world. While I agree with this, it's difficult to make that happen this way. I would recommend parenting vigilance and fostering as open communication as you can. Absolutely time away from the bombardment of FB and texting and gossip sites is crucial, but so is teaching your daughter (and son!) to be a proper internet user.
All in all it was an enjoyable and interesting read and one that I think is valuable.
June 28, 2012
I've been out of the reading loop for a while as social requirements and the presence of a male friend have kept me busy, so it's rather appropriate that this is my first toe-dip back into the world of bookish things. Flanagan presents here something of a survey of the ways in which the transition from girlhood to womanhood have changed over the course of the last century.
This should be interesting and, for the most part, I agree with her overall thesis that the transition if particularly difficult for females but I found her arguments to be weak and full of all sorts of fallacies. She tends to generalize, saying things like "Every woman I know feels" or "All girls wanted." There were many of these broad strokes that certainly didn't apply to me, and I wasn't sure if that should make me feel alienated or reassured. I was also bothered by her lack of concrete data: she'd refer to the way things were in the past without providing a specific date or timeframe. She also simply failed to provide any kind of numbers to back up her statements, instead relying on quotations pulled from historical publications (I use the word historical loosely, as we're talking about dating guides given to teen girls in the 20s, 50s, and 60s). There's no evidence to suggest just how representative these publications were of the overall culture. I'm not sure how much of this data is actually available, but Flanagan's arguments certainly need it. Similarly, she's also reticent to provide citations for many of her claims. Sure, she quotes examples of dating guides and there's a list of sources, but she's not saying where her specific statements of fact come from.
This should be interesting and, for the most part, I agree with her overall thesis that the transition if particularly difficult for females but I found her arguments to be weak and full of all sorts of fallacies. She tends to generalize, saying things like "Every woman I know feels" or "All girls wanted." There were many of these broad strokes that certainly didn't apply to me, and I wasn't sure if that should make me feel alienated or reassured. I was also bothered by her lack of concrete data: she'd refer to the way things were in the past without providing a specific date or timeframe. She also simply failed to provide any kind of numbers to back up her statements, instead relying on quotations pulled from historical publications (I use the word historical loosely, as we're talking about dating guides given to teen girls in the 20s, 50s, and 60s). There's no evidence to suggest just how representative these publications were of the overall culture. I'm not sure how much of this data is actually available, but Flanagan's arguments certainly need it. Similarly, she's also reticent to provide citations for many of her claims. Sure, she quotes examples of dating guides and there's a list of sources, but she's not saying where her specific statements of fact come from.
April 20, 2012
I've enjoyed Caitlin Flanagan in the Atlantic and looked forward to this book. She makes some interesting points about the transition of females from "girls" to "adolescents" brought about by both physical changes and cultural norms. Though about 10 years older than Flanagan, I identified with many of her observations. As a mom of two daughters, I constantly worried while reading whether I had given them all the information I should have while growing up. While the book skews toward white, upper & middle class females in urban areas, I think there is enough here to make it a worthwhile (though not mandatory) read for parents of girls (and for women who don't quite understand what they went through in high school).
Read
October 26, 2012How do I negative-star a review??
Awful from the word go - chapters of irrelevant Caitlin teen memories, blanket statements thrown out as accepted fact (yes, I'm sure all men with single moms grow up to be sexually predatory and every woman on earth counts adolescence as her most trying time), capped off with the absolute lack of interaction with any current inhabitants of Girl Land (I found no evidence that she spoke to ANY modern-day girls/young women in 'researching' this mess). Never mind that pregnancy rates are at a 40-year low, that girls have better educational opportunities and better support systems than in the past - it's all gloom and doom.
Buy up those diaries, girls, they'll save you from exploitation. Pinky promise.
Awful from the word go - chapters of irrelevant Caitlin teen memories, blanket statements thrown out as accepted fact (yes, I'm sure all men with single moms grow up to be sexually predatory and every woman on earth counts adolescence as her most trying time), capped off with the absolute lack of interaction with any current inhabitants of Girl Land (I found no evidence that she spoke to ANY modern-day girls/young women in 'researching' this mess). Never mind that pregnancy rates are at a 40-year low, that girls have better educational opportunities and better support systems than in the past - it's all gloom and doom.
Buy up those diaries, girls, they'll save you from exploitation. Pinky promise.
March 13, 2012
Since I just had a baby girl I figured I'd get a jump on her teenage years early and read this. It's interesting and makes some clever/insightful points, but then gets weird at the end when the author (who doesn't actually have daughters, just sons) seems to advocate government censorship (?!) as the answer to the problem of girls growing up too fast with too many pressures. She also bases a lot of her observations on "research" from the diary she kept herself as a girl. I was hoping for this to have a bit more credibility. That being said, the early chapters on the invention of dating, prom, and so forth (and their effect upon adolescent girls) were worth reading.
Want to read
February 1, 2012I'm not going to lie, I want to read this just so that I can hate on it with a vengeance.
August 16, 2024
Enjoyed some of the essays and their tie backs to other major pieces of lit for girls and women. Last few essays were eh, kinda outdated imo
May 22, 2020
I think the true value in this book is two fold:
1. Do not let the world control the narrative your girls are listening to regarding sex.
2. Create a safe and unhurried space for them to understand where their sexuality fits into their femininity.
That is what she means by Girl Land. Modern culture has kicked down all barriers to Girl Land. Parents must rebuild and defend the wall.
1. Do not let the world control the narrative your girls are listening to regarding sex.
2. Create a safe and unhurried space for them to understand where their sexuality fits into their femininity.
That is what she means by Girl Land. Modern culture has kicked down all barriers to Girl Land. Parents must rebuild and defend the wall.
April 8, 2012
I first heard about this book from my husband. As the parents of 3 soon to be 4 little girls anything about raising and parenting girls catches our attention. This book caught my husband's attention because the author was being interviewed on NPR. All of the callers were fairly hostile toward her ideas on safely helping teenage girls through to adulthood and the conclusions she ends the book with. Here are a few examples: Make her bedroom an Internet-free zone, Get her father involved in her dating life, and Remember: giving a girl limits doesn't limit the girl. My husband had no problem at all with any of these supposedly radical parenting decisions. He also noticed that not one father called in to complain while he was listening to the interview. All the callers were women (parenting status unknown). With this kind of buzz, I just had to give this book a try.
This isn't a book I am going to run out and recommend to all of my friends. Basically there is a lot of time spent with the harsh realities of life for teen girls. "Girl Land" itself refers to the teen years a girl experiences. The author starts by giving a history of how modern teen life developed after the First World War. She describes how sexual initiation changed through the decades, along with how a teen girl interacts with the outside world. For someone with strict moral standards and who hopes to raise her daughters with such standards, there was a lot in this book that was just a little bit to much. There are a lot of things discussed that made me very sad, and in many chapters I was left wondering if the author recommended a type of behavior or advised against it.
The conclusions the Flanagan leaves the reader with are much more palatable to me. She argues that girls in our time need to be much more protected then they are (I would argue that both girls and boys should be more protected then they are). Her five recommendations (numbers 2-4 are listed above) are no brainers in my opinion. The exception is recommendation #1: Take a 15 minute tour. I have no intention of going to google and typing in Porn (I'm willing to take some things on faith, the fact that any Porn is bad for women, men, children, etc is one of those things. I don't need to be shocked into trying to protect my children from it. I know I have to protect my whole house from it). I especially liked her thoughts on why an internet free zone was a good idea in a girl's bedroom. I've always known that basic internet safety demands this safeguard but I also love the point she makes about protecting a girls dreams, creativity, and self awareness. I also strongly support the idea that a girl's father should be a major part of a girl's life, especially through the teen years.
So this book earned a 3 star rating because it was not a particularly pleasant read, and because I didn't have a clear understanding of the author's views until the end of the book. I also like her conclusions. If the feminist movement encourages girls and women to give up all protection and safe guards in their lives, it is doing them no favors, and I fully intend on helping to shelter our daughters as much as I can, while sheltering myself from things I just don't want in my life.
This isn't a book I am going to run out and recommend to all of my friends. Basically there is a lot of time spent with the harsh realities of life for teen girls. "Girl Land" itself refers to the teen years a girl experiences. The author starts by giving a history of how modern teen life developed after the First World War. She describes how sexual initiation changed through the decades, along with how a teen girl interacts with the outside world. For someone with strict moral standards and who hopes to raise her daughters with such standards, there was a lot in this book that was just a little bit to much. There are a lot of things discussed that made me very sad, and in many chapters I was left wondering if the author recommended a type of behavior or advised against it.
The conclusions the Flanagan leaves the reader with are much more palatable to me. She argues that girls in our time need to be much more protected then they are (I would argue that both girls and boys should be more protected then they are). Her five recommendations (numbers 2-4 are listed above) are no brainers in my opinion. The exception is recommendation #1: Take a 15 minute tour. I have no intention of going to google and typing in Porn (I'm willing to take some things on faith, the fact that any Porn is bad for women, men, children, etc is one of those things. I don't need to be shocked into trying to protect my children from it. I know I have to protect my whole house from it). I especially liked her thoughts on why an internet free zone was a good idea in a girl's bedroom. I've always known that basic internet safety demands this safeguard but I also love the point she makes about protecting a girls dreams, creativity, and self awareness. I also strongly support the idea that a girl's father should be a major part of a girl's life, especially through the teen years.
So this book earned a 3 star rating because it was not a particularly pleasant read, and because I didn't have a clear understanding of the author's views until the end of the book. I also like her conclusions. If the feminist movement encourages girls and women to give up all protection and safe guards in their lives, it is doing them no favors, and I fully intend on helping to shelter our daughters as much as I can, while sheltering myself from things I just don't want in my life.
September 30, 2019
I've listened to the Sam Harris's podcast episode with Caitlin Flanagan. I've read her article "How Serfdom Saved the Women’s Movement" that was mentioned in the podcast. I randomly read this book expecting more of that.
I mean, it's not bad. It's an interestingish superlong memoirish heteronormative AF Cosmo article for the mothers of teenage girls written by someone who, as a teen, had a Dior bed comforter and Dior linens (albeit, in a colour that has been available at a discounted price). And who has last been a teenager 40 years ago. And it really shows.
If you want to read what was it like to be a girl from a certain social class in the 70s, you might like this book.
I mean, it's not bad. It's an interestingish superlong memoirish heteronormative AF Cosmo article for the mothers of teenage girls written by someone who, as a teen, had a Dior bed comforter and Dior linens (albeit, in a colour that has been available at a discounted price). And who has last been a teenager 40 years ago. And it really shows.
If you want to read what was it like to be a girl from a certain social class in the 70s, you might like this book.
September 12, 2012
ugh - I thought this would be an excellent book to read to gather insight into today's teenage girls. I couldn't even get through the first essay on dating. The author begins the essay about dating and how it is different now then it was in the past but then quickly moves onto marital sex and the lack of knowledge that men and women had years ago - huh? what? I thought we were exploring dating? I wanted to throw the book across the room - needless to say I have put the book down in disgust and don't plan on finishing it.
February 12, 2012
Women are different from men. Don't let your teenage daughter surf porn in her room. There, that might save someone a few hours of reading. I was hoping for something a bit more insightful. But I'm not a woman, so I'm sure I'm missing the point. I guess I was expecting more of an examination of the pressures of growing up in todays world, and less of a historical romp of what Prom was like in the 20s.
February 3, 2012
Kind of sickening. The style of writing reminds me of Christian devotionals, which is fitting as the author fetishizes female adolescence as if it were a religion. I feel really bad for her sons. And myself because I paid to read this book.
December 13, 2023
An examination & history of female development in the culture. The author traces changes in socio-cultural sexual norms (especially for women), since the (roaring) 1920's. The prose is fairly readable; tho it occasionally indulges strange idioms (ie: "sui generis" ??) & long, run-on compound sentences. Although the book is interesting, makes some good points & holds my attention for the most part, it nevertheless seems rather contradictory, muddled & blurry, without a clear vision. For example, the author seems to be promoting the idea of female independence from men; yet she repeatedly emphasizes the importance of a father's presence in a girl's life, without emphasizing the concomitant importance of a mother in the life of young girls. This seems odd. I would think she'd cover the respective ways in which each parent contributes to the girl's sense of identity & sexuality, instead of reinforcing one side over the other, in this case the paternal (especially in a book decrying the patriarchy). It turns out the author is the mother of boys, no girls; so some of her writing about the parenting of girls loses a little credibility for me. I find myself wondering whether the author is advocating for, or warning against, sexual freedom for females. The bulk of her content seems based on a kind of literary-review of the subject matter; not even from a research standpoint necessarily, but from TV, movies & popular publications, like teen magazines or parenting books. For example, she mentions "Dr Phil" of TV notoriety (as employing "a scientific cloak of respectability to legitimize his many prurient obsessions"). Yet the author proceeds in much the same way as Dr Phil: there's a kind of voyeuristic, almost lurid mentality which builds momentum throughout the book, that I find distracting & even disturbing (covering girls' journalling, menstruation, sexual initiation including oral sex, date-rape, gang rape & Patty Heart's experience -- is this really pertinent to "Girl Land"?). It almost feels like we're crossing boundaries & intruding on privacy for reasons I can't quite discern (other than possibly sensationalism). I think the book presents a lot of negative stereotypes but fails to balance them w/examples of positive archetypes for girls, which is part of what makes the book disturbing, rather than inspiring. There's this horrendous societal "reveal," without a subsequent resolution to adequately offset the issues raised. The influence of the cultural patriarchy is addressed, which I think is appropriate; however, not many solutions or alternatives are offered, which again lends to a distressing feeling, as if we as women are victims, at the mercy of a system we cannot impact. At least the author takes a few pages at the end of the book to offer a handful of suggestions as a call to action (unfortunately, one of her suggestions is for parents to take a "15 minute tour" of the Internet-dereliction their kids face, by typing "porn" into their search-engines: bad idea!). Overall this book feels merely provocative & generally discouraging/disempowering to females.
December 27, 2018
This book focuses on the major milestones/elements that define girlhood for American girls. Some of these include the concept of dating, the event of the first period, writing in diaries, and the prom. The author uses historical information to show how these aspects of girlhood were treated as late as the 19th century up to the 1920's when the concept of a modern-day teenager was first thought of. Much of the concepts, thoughts, and comparisons come from the 1950's and on when the teen market was first developed. The author also includes famous "girl books" to hone in on key points (such as Betty Smith's A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and Judy Blume's Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret).
I did like the historical information presented because I always find it interesting to see how things were for girls before me. My mom read parts of this book as well and was immediately reminded of her own years as a preteen/teenage girl. One thing I did not like about the book was that it was told from a middle/upper class point of view. I'm not sure if that was intended or not, but this type of audience prevented me from relating to certain parts of the book (especially the prom chapter). I would have liked to read about experiences from girls of different cultures and backgrounds to see any similarities or differences. I'm sure most girls experience the milestones/events part of Girl Land, but I wouldn't use this book to define them as being universal.
I did like the historical information presented because I always find it interesting to see how things were for girls before me. My mom read parts of this book as well and was immediately reminded of her own years as a preteen/teenage girl. One thing I did not like about the book was that it was told from a middle/upper class point of view. I'm not sure if that was intended or not, but this type of audience prevented me from relating to certain parts of the book (especially the prom chapter). I would have liked to read about experiences from girls of different cultures and backgrounds to see any similarities or differences. I'm sure most girls experience the milestones/events part of Girl Land, but I wouldn't use this book to define them as being universal.
January 16, 2018
I join a lot of other readers when I say that this book wasn't what I was expecting. Flanagan covers interesting topics, but the overall premise of "Girl Land"--the space and time in which a girl exists before puberty--didn't really seem to have a main point other than a loose reason for Flanagan to give her opinions, which are an odd blend of treating men as the Big Bad while also denouncing modern feminism's frequent blame of the patriarchy. I am surprised by how vehemently other Goodreads reviewers hate this book, though I certainly agree that I couldn't really identify with much of what Flanagan presents as normal womanhood (for myself, I attributed that lack to my Christian home and upbringing). Overall, I'm not really sure what to think. The premise is good, but the delivery is disjointed.
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