Family Pride: What LGBT Families Should Know about Navigating Home, School, and Safety in Their Neighborhoods

by Michael Shelton, Elizabeth Castellana Colage (Foreword)

An invaluable portrait and roadmap on how to thrive as an LGBT family
 
The overwhelming success of Dan Savage’s “It Gets Better” YouTube project aimed at queer youth highlighted that despite the progress made in gay rights, LGBT people are still at high risk of being victimized. While the national focus remains on the mistreatment of gay people in schools, the reality is that LGBT families also face hostility in various settings—professional, recreational, and social. This is especially evident in rural communities, where the majority of LGBT families live, isolated from support networks more commonly found in urban spaces.
 
Family Pride is the first book for queer parents, families, and allies that emphasizes community safety. Drawing on his years as a dedicated community activist and on the experiences of LGBT parents, Michael Shelton offers concrete strategies that LGBT families can use to intervene in and resolve difficult community issues, teach their children resiliency skills, and find safe and respectful programs for their children.

Genres: Nonfiction, LGBT

191 pages, Paperback

First published September 4, 2012

Reviews

[A. J · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was massively disappointed in this book. After reading a lot of parenting books by and for straight families I was hoping for a book that would be geared more towards my family and was excited to find this on my libraries shelf. I guess this was just not what I had been looking for.

I didn't finish Family Pride, though I would consider trying to read it again at another time in my life. Also if it was updated I would also consider reading it again. Family Pride was published in 2013 and drew on research that was older. Now that it's almost 2020 I think it's high time the author took a look at new research.  

Here's why I quit reading the book and why I didn't like it. It was depressing as hell. The first 25% of the book (which mind you this book isn't long, only 240 pages) was talking about why LGBTQA+ families are still in the closet, why they tend to be poor, why they tend to be discriminated against, etc...  Which is something that I already know, it's something I've experienced, it's something all my friends have experienced at one point or another. I want advice, solutions, strategies and real talk. Not a seemingly never ending litany of discrimination queer families have faced. 

One review of this book I saw said that Family Pride is written like a research article and I couldn't agree more. And if that's what you're looking for, this book is for you. But that wasn't what I was looking for, and it wasn't what I felt the synopsis promised. And from the other reviews I read it seemed like the section with the ''roadmap on how to thrive as an LGBT family" was small, not as well researched and not very helpful. 

In the end I gave this book 2 stars. 

[Jennifer Toliver · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a well researched, balanced and eye-opening book concerning discrimination faced by LGBT persons and their families. I'm not sure there were offers of "concrete strategies" to LGBT families in response to such discriminations as is stated on the back cover but nonetheless, there was a variety of responses provided throughout.

The most interesting section was perhaps that, towards the end, of Religious Institutions. My God wouldn't discriminate against LGBT individuals or their families and I still find it baffling that so many "Christians" hide behind religion in order to spread hate and intolerance.

I'm passing this book along to my local library with the hopes that an LGBT family can benefit from it. (but now, after reading, scared that it'll be hidden in a back room somewhere)

I'm more infuriated, and more emblazoned with passion to continue my pursuit of change!


I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review.

[Antony Simpson · Rating 1 out of 5]

From AntonySimpson.com:

Family Pride by Michael Shelton is written like a research article and has an extensive list reference list. Shelton highlights early on that there is a lack of representation of ethic minorities and economically disadvantaged LGBT families in the research. The book is clearly structured and styled as an educational textbook. No definition of an LGBT family is made or attempted; probably because LGBT families are so diverse in their make up and scope. Just like ‘straight’ families.

Shelton interviewed some LGBT parents and even some of their children from across America for this book. I would have enjoyed reading more of these interviews; particularly around their coping strategies for dealing with homophobia, perceived hertrosexism and subtle prejudices. I would have enjoyed reading about these LGBT families hopes for the future.

Family Pride starts with an introduction, explaining the history of gay rights movement and the extreme rightwing (anti-gay) response to this agenda. How the progress of gay rights movement has had an unintended backlash on LGBT families and put many of them in the spotlight in their communities.

I should point out, at this point, that this book is completely Americanised and lacks any international perspective. However many of the issues faced by LGBT families in America will apply to LGBT families in the UK.

Then Family Pride gives a comprehensive review of the issues LGBT families face including:
- Internalised homophobia.
- Stages of coming out as an LGBT to children, families and the community.
- The facade of the perfect family.
- Issues in schools such as the other same-sex parent not being recognised and bullying of the children by other children (and potentially some of the school staff).
- Access and engagement with physical and mental health services.
- The ability to access and enjoy leisure activities (including the all American Summer Camps).
- Religious Institutions.
- and the Police & Legal System.

In the conclusion there’s a small section dedicated to how to improve attitudes and acceptance of LGBT families, which will enable better community integration and to give LGBT families a sense of belonging.

Overall Family Pride has good, evidenced-based content. The writing style could have been more engaging and I felt that Shelton over-explained his point at times. This book is ideal for Students or Practitioners in the disciplines of Social Work, Nursing, Mental Health, Youth Work, Housing, the Police, Prison Officers and other public service institutions. It will give Students and Practitioners an awareness of the issues LGBT families face with accessing and engaging with institutions in a way that is dignified, respected and valued.

[Veronica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book through a goodreads firstreads giveaway. This book was, I thought, well researched and very informative. I wish my university in South Texas had an lgbt class being taught. I would highly recommend this book to anyone wanting to know the history and trends of how the lgbt community is treated and perceived. On the other hand, I would have liked to hear more about bisexuals and transgendered folks. I'd say 90-95% of the book was about lesbians and gays. I understand that sometimes the research just isn't there but when I see a book touted as lgbt, I expect to see all that that acronym encompasses. Some surface issues I had: towards the end of the book, I saw some spelling mistakes. Just bothersome, really. There's a school in south Texas that is discussed that is misnamed. It should be Flour Bluff--believe me, I'm from around there. That was just a really bad mistake, in my opinion. Otherwise, as stated, I found this book to be very educational and would highly recommend it!

[Michele A. · Rating 4 out of 5]

This seemed to be a well researched book. I would recommend reading it.

[Melissa]

I have recently won this book from the giveaway and I'm actually excited to read this one. I'm always interested in learning more about the LGBT community.

[Johanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Poorly organized writing, and LOTS of typos, but gave me some valuable things to think (and worry) about.

[Townsville Library · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this book in Townsville

[Kristina]

I read this especially for the part about LGBT people's experiences with religious institutions. I found it did provide the insights I was looking for to help me as an individual find ways to be more sensitive and provide a more overtly welcoming environment. This is written from an American perspective and I believe the information is relevant for Canadians too.