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After filing charges that put his abusive ex-Dom behind bars, Jesse Turbul relocates halfway across the country, hoping to escape his past―but, of course, it's never that easy. When Jesse meets third-year law student Aadon at the library where he works, their mutual attraction is instant and obvious. Despite the sparks, they just can't seem to make it work. Aadon is mired in guilt over his inability to help his older brother, damaged by events far too similar to Jesse’s past. Jesse is stuck in his own desperate wish to forget the painful shadow that continues to threaten him and any hope of a happy future. The only way to move forward is for Jesse to acknowledge he’s broken and for Aadon to accept he can’t make him better.
240 pages, Paperback
First published January 26, 2012
11 people are currently reading
525 people want to read
About the author
Jaime Samms
106 books276 followersJaime Samms is a plaid-hearted Canadian who spends the too-long winters writing stories about love between men and the too-short summers digging in the garden. There are dust bunnies in the corners of her house—which she blames on a husky named Kai. There are dishes on the counter—which is clearly because teenagers! There is hot coffee in the pot and the occasional meal to keep her from starving—because her husband is remarkable and patient.
A multi-published author whose work has been translated into French, Italian, and German, Jaime delights in the intricate dance of words that leads her through tales of the lost and broken hearted men she writes about to the love stories that find and mend them.
And when the muse is being stubborn, she also makes pretty things with yarn and fabric scraps because in her world, no heart is too broken to love, and nothing is too worn or tired it can’t be upcycled into something beautiful. All it takes is determination and the ability to see life a little bit left of center.
A multi-published author whose work has been translated into French, Italian, and German, Jaime delights in the intricate dance of words that leads her through tales of the lost and broken hearted men she writes about to the love stories that find and mend them.
And when the muse is being stubborn, she also makes pretty things with yarn and fabric scraps because in her world, no heart is too broken to love, and nothing is too worn or tired it can’t be upcycled into something beautiful. All it takes is determination and the ability to see life a little bit left of center.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 66 reviews
February 5, 2012
WARNING: these scenes might be disturbing for some readers: self-cutting, talk/history about rape and molestation, drug use, and abusive relationship.
....
I need to take a whole night to think about this book. Because it's emotionally draining. I have read several stories by Jaime Samms, though I think this is her 'longest' to date. It deals with some serious issues and it packs a punch!! Forget the 'warning' of BDSM/Kink that Dreamspinner put on this, there is NOT A SCENE on that. This novel is mainly dealing with two people who have baggage in their life and how they are working through that.
Jesse survives from an abusive relationship. He has submissive tendency but his previous Dom practically taken his will, and Jesse ends up being broken, beaten, and messed up. He has scars as testament of that horrible relationship. While Aadon is dealing with his older brother, Ricky, who is in rehab for drug abuse, which ruins his body and mind. Some readers might think the drama is too much (few times I also think so) but I also find it engaging. I always prefer stories that are complicated anyway, when not everything is happy dory.
What I like THE MOST about this story, is how Ms. Samms portrays Aadon as not perfect. I mean, it's easy to describe Aadon as strong and patient and his love alone will be able to 'fix' Jesse. I believe that is one common thing with this kind of plot anyway. INSTEAD, Ms. Samms makes Aadon as vulnerable as well. Where he just can't handle it, when it's just too much, we have scenes where Aadon needs to talk to his brother's therapist. He admits that he's angry and that he's afraid. Often stories focus on the 'victim' but not on the support system. Aadon is practically the 'support system' for his own brother and Jesse, and he realizes that he might also need help on that.
As for Jesse, he definitely grows stronger ... and I admire him for it. At first, he thinks that by going away he is fine; that he can handle it. Later Jesse knows that NOT talking about it, doesn't mean that it's not going away. And he can also see how his attitude affects the people who love and care for him.
"My secrets hurt a lot of people, and me most of all. The more I say it out loud, the less power it has to hurt me.... The people who do understand can help me stop it. Knowing that I helped to make it so that he can't do it to anyone else, makes me feel less like a victim, and more like I matter."
Both Jesse and Aadon might still have to work on the relationship, and they have far to go. There are a lot of talkings in this story, as well as the push and pull because each man do not trust themselves enough at times, too caught up with their problem. Jesse is scared about letting Aadon in, Aadon fears that he's hurting Jesse all over again. But I can see them getting stronger in time. Because I believe in Aadon when he says this ...
"What I can't do is ever let you go. I am too far into you to ever get out. I'll have to move in with you, because I already need to breathe you like air."
Yes, I'm tired, but I'm also satisfied. I am aware that the kind of drama is not for everyone though. Personally, I think this is most definitely Jaime Samms's BEST yet.
PS: The plot does remind me of another story with similar theme, but I can't remember what it is *shrugs*
....
I need to take a whole night to think about this book. Because it's emotionally draining. I have read several stories by Jaime Samms, though I think this is her 'longest' to date. It deals with some serious issues and it packs a punch!! Forget the 'warning' of BDSM/Kink that Dreamspinner put on this, there is NOT A SCENE on that. This novel is mainly dealing with two people who have baggage in their life and how they are working through that.
Jesse survives from an abusive relationship. He has submissive tendency but his previous Dom practically taken his will, and Jesse ends up being broken, beaten, and messed up. He has scars as testament of that horrible relationship. While Aadon is dealing with his older brother, Ricky, who is in rehab for drug abuse, which ruins his body and mind. Some readers might think the drama is too much (few times I also think so) but I also find it engaging. I always prefer stories that are complicated anyway, when not everything is happy dory.
What I like THE MOST about this story, is how Ms. Samms portrays Aadon as not perfect. I mean, it's easy to describe Aadon as strong and patient and his love alone will be able to 'fix' Jesse. I believe that is one common thing with this kind of plot anyway. INSTEAD, Ms. Samms makes Aadon as vulnerable as well. Where he just can't handle it, when it's just too much, we have scenes where Aadon needs to talk to his brother's therapist. He admits that he's angry and that he's afraid. Often stories focus on the 'victim' but not on the support system. Aadon is practically the 'support system' for his own brother and Jesse, and he realizes that he might also need help on that.
As for Jesse, he definitely grows stronger ... and I admire him for it. At first, he thinks that by going away he is fine; that he can handle it. Later Jesse knows that NOT talking about it, doesn't mean that it's not going away. And he can also see how his attitude affects the people who love and care for him.
"My secrets hurt a lot of people, and me most of all. The more I say it out loud, the less power it has to hurt me.... The people who do understand can help me stop it. Knowing that I helped to make it so that he can't do it to anyone else, makes me feel less like a victim, and more like I matter."
Both Jesse and Aadon might still have to work on the relationship, and they have far to go. There are a lot of talkings in this story, as well as the push and pull because each man do not trust themselves enough at times, too caught up with their problem. Jesse is scared about letting Aadon in, Aadon fears that he's hurting Jesse all over again. But I can see them getting stronger in time. Because I believe in Aadon when he says this ...
"What I can't do is ever let you go. I am too far into you to ever get out. I'll have to move in with you, because I already need to breathe you like air."
Yes, I'm tired, but I'm also satisfied. I am aware that the kind of drama is not for everyone though. Personally, I think this is most definitely Jaime Samms's BEST yet.
PS: The plot does remind me of another story with similar theme, but I can't remember what it is *shrugs*
October 7, 2012
I am not sure why there were a lot 2 star reviews for this book. I saw none of the pronoun problems or typos that folks mentioned. Now, there was POV hopping, but I got used to it and the author did a good job of letting us know who was who.
There is a lot of emotion, some might say melodrama, but I enjoyed it. I especially enjoyed that Jesse was not fixed by love automatically, and sex is not instant. In fact, we really do not see any sex until the end.
I gave it a 3 and not 4 because overall, the writing was satisfactory, but not compelling. And I felt nothing for the sex scene at the end. It felt mostly like the author was saying, "see, their relationship is healthy now so they are having sex".
Overall, an enjoyable read.
There is a lot of emotion, some might say melodrama, but I enjoyed it. I especially enjoyed that Jesse was not fixed by love automatically, and sex is not instant. In fact, we really do not see any sex until the end.
I gave it a 3 and not 4 because overall, the writing was satisfactory, but not compelling. And I felt nothing for the sex scene at the end. It felt mostly like the author was saying, "see, their relationship is healthy now so they are having sex".
Overall, an enjoyable read.
March 26, 2012
I’m a big fan of Samms’ writing and I leapt at her first full-length novel. I’ve been asking for one of these for a while and it’s not surprising that the concept is pretty deep. While the idea is solid and makes for an involving story, the writing stumbles in multiple places. There are problems that I’ve never associated with this author before and ultimately this one is merely ok. It has some high points but more low points than anything and makes me wonder if full-length stories highlight more weaknesses.
The plot is pretty emotional by throwing two very damaged and hurt men together to try to make them work. Each is very hurt by their past and littered with tons of issues. First there is Jesse, a submissive that got involved with the wrong man. Jesse’s reeling from his past rape and abuse, which has left a lot of emotional and physical scars. Aadon is a dominant man trying to take care of his institutionalized brother, also a victim of rape and abuse. These two college kids are trying to get past their individual issues to find common ground together, and maybe attend a class once in a while.
The highlights for me are that the author attempted such intense concepts. They’re good and handled extremely well if not better than most books. The trauma isn’t downplayed or sensationalized but realistic with a nice touch. The two characters recognize their limitations and issues, somewhat too much with long nearly professional speeches about their problems, but it’s nice that the main characters are realistic about their many, many scars. Additionally the characters are well developed and fully three dimensional with Ricky being an exceptional and well-written addition.
Unfortunately after these positives, the story kind of fell apart for me. For starters the writing stumbles frequently with obvious editing errors and a horrible problem heading hopping. The POV tends to switch within a single paragraph making the narrative a bit dizzying, as the dialogue doesn’t always match the person speaking. It’s not hard to figure out the POV but it switches way too much and pulls me out of the story each time. Likewise the behavior of Ricky’s therapist is so unprofessional that it drives me nuts. The intention is to inject a mothering, caring figure and that’s fine but the casual mannerisms and unprofessional, nearly constant touching just isn’t appropriate and I couldn’t get beyond that.
The story also relies on contrived scenes and coincidences way too much. It even attempts to explain why such coincidences can happen but by then, it’s too much. Not to give too many spoilers but the later scenes with the waiter, his boyfriend, and the additional victims are almost corny they’re so contrived. None of this feels genuine or realistic, but more so these scenes feel like an easy way to illustrate yet again the horrors Jesse experienced and his attempts to grow beyond them. I wish the writing had been more subtle and nuanced in showing these objectives rather than taking the easy, almost silly route.
Overall there are good points and bad points about Better and the attempt to tackle truly damaged men and give them a happy ending is a nice idea. Unfortunately the men come off almost too hurt to be together and the writing don’t quite live up to the concept. This is especially sad, as I like Samms’ short stories quite a bit. Perhaps the next novel will be better.
The plot is pretty emotional by throwing two very damaged and hurt men together to try to make them work. Each is very hurt by their past and littered with tons of issues. First there is Jesse, a submissive that got involved with the wrong man. Jesse’s reeling from his past rape and abuse, which has left a lot of emotional and physical scars. Aadon is a dominant man trying to take care of his institutionalized brother, also a victim of rape and abuse. These two college kids are trying to get past their individual issues to find common ground together, and maybe attend a class once in a while.
The highlights for me are that the author attempted such intense concepts. They’re good and handled extremely well if not better than most books. The trauma isn’t downplayed or sensationalized but realistic with a nice touch. The two characters recognize their limitations and issues, somewhat too much with long nearly professional speeches about their problems, but it’s nice that the main characters are realistic about their many, many scars. Additionally the characters are well developed and fully three dimensional with Ricky being an exceptional and well-written addition.
Unfortunately after these positives, the story kind of fell apart for me. For starters the writing stumbles frequently with obvious editing errors and a horrible problem heading hopping. The POV tends to switch within a single paragraph making the narrative a bit dizzying, as the dialogue doesn’t always match the person speaking. It’s not hard to figure out the POV but it switches way too much and pulls me out of the story each time. Likewise the behavior of Ricky’s therapist is so unprofessional that it drives me nuts. The intention is to inject a mothering, caring figure and that’s fine but the casual mannerisms and unprofessional, nearly constant touching just isn’t appropriate and I couldn’t get beyond that.
The story also relies on contrived scenes and coincidences way too much. It even attempts to explain why such coincidences can happen but by then, it’s too much. Not to give too many spoilers but the later scenes with the waiter, his boyfriend, and the additional victims are almost corny they’re so contrived. None of this feels genuine or realistic, but more so these scenes feel like an easy way to illustrate yet again the horrors Jesse experienced and his attempts to grow beyond them. I wish the writing had been more subtle and nuanced in showing these objectives rather than taking the easy, almost silly route.
Overall there are good points and bad points about Better and the attempt to tackle truly damaged men and give them a happy ending is a nice idea. Unfortunately the men come off almost too hurt to be together and the writing don’t quite live up to the concept. This is especially sad, as I like Samms’ short stories quite a bit. Perhaps the next novel will be better.
April 13, 2016
The past can be a painful place to visit; people don't want to recall memories which can't be changed. They don't want to experience the agony of wrong choices and missteps; but the thing is, for better or worse, what happens in our past shapes our future. We either confront our experiences and learn from them, or we deny them and inevitably get stuck there, allowing them to eat away at us, unable to move forward. Jesse Turnbul and Aadon Dounias are both stuck in the past; they are in denial, burdened with guilt and paralyzed with fear. Until they can come to terms with these feelings, the ghosts of the past will continue to haunt them, preventing them from living a fulfilling life.
I admired Jesse because as hard as it was to do, after Jesse realized that he'd have to face what happened in order to put it behind him, he takes immediate steps to rectify the situation. He accepts responsibility for his part in it and works to prevent Anthony from hurting anyone else. It may seem backwards, but having lived through the ordeal with Anthony and working his way through the pain, humiliation, and fear, actually makes him a stronger, more determined person.
Aadon has a good heart but what gives him problems is that he wants to fix both his brother and Jesse and it frustrates him because he can't. He tries to be patient, but walking on egg shells for fear of setting his brother off into a tantrum, or moving too fast and scaring Jesse takes its toll. It's difficult for him to sit back and watch them struggle, but he realizes that they are the only ones who can help themselves; but he also knows that he will be there to love and support them when they ask.
There are so many admirable characters in this story, people who go above and beyond in offering amazing support for both men—Ricky's psychiatrist; Aadon's cousin and best friends; Jesse's best friend, Sarah; Jesse's mother, and a host of others. Even though the book is dark in places dealing with rape, sexual abuse, BDSM gone wrong, and the devastation they leave behind, Jaime's bold presentation of the story and the tough issues it tackles are well worth the angst. If you don't mind an intense relationship with an occasional bumpy ride, but also a happy ending, then I say give 'Better' a try. Thanks, Jaime, for an emotional, but enlightening read!
NOTE: This book was provided by Dreamspinner Press for the purpose of a review on Rainbow Book Reviews.
I admired Jesse because as hard as it was to do, after Jesse realized that he'd have to face what happened in order to put it behind him, he takes immediate steps to rectify the situation. He accepts responsibility for his part in it and works to prevent Anthony from hurting anyone else. It may seem backwards, but having lived through the ordeal with Anthony and working his way through the pain, humiliation, and fear, actually makes him a stronger, more determined person.
Aadon has a good heart but what gives him problems is that he wants to fix both his brother and Jesse and it frustrates him because he can't. He tries to be patient, but walking on egg shells for fear of setting his brother off into a tantrum, or moving too fast and scaring Jesse takes its toll. It's difficult for him to sit back and watch them struggle, but he realizes that they are the only ones who can help themselves; but he also knows that he will be there to love and support them when they ask.
There are so many admirable characters in this story, people who go above and beyond in offering amazing support for both men—Ricky's psychiatrist; Aadon's cousin and best friends; Jesse's best friend, Sarah; Jesse's mother, and a host of others. Even though the book is dark in places dealing with rape, sexual abuse, BDSM gone wrong, and the devastation they leave behind, Jaime's bold presentation of the story and the tough issues it tackles are well worth the angst. If you don't mind an intense relationship with an occasional bumpy ride, but also a happy ending, then I say give 'Better' a try. Thanks, Jaime, for an emotional, but enlightening read!
NOTE: This book was provided by Dreamspinner Press for the purpose of a review on Rainbow Book Reviews.
February 6, 2012
This was a really emotional story about Jesse, a college student who was the victim of domestic violence/rape who is struggling to get his life back, and Aadon, another student who wants to fix him. Aadon also has the added stressor of being the baby brother of a man who was molested and who destroyed his own life with drugs while trying to escape his demons. The premise is quite dark and brutal but the underlying theme is about love. Aadon and Jesse really love each other but before they can have any semblance of a life together, they both have to confront their pasts. Easier said than done, obviously.
Jesse's best friend is Sarah...and I know she cared deeply for him but she drove me nuts. I saw her as more of a hindrance than a help at times. Leo and Mike are Aadon's best friends and I felt they were more in touch with how to deal then Sarah. Why is it that the females in these stories make me cringe?
So, yes, the story is sad and dark and full of past demons but the actual victimizing is not happening as you read but told in the past tense. That makes it much easier for me to read and I definitely prefer that format to "being there".
Even though I wasn't sure if it was gonna have a happy ending, and it waited until the 11th hour to get there, but in the end you know Jesse is not cured but he has Aadon and together they make it work.
Jesse's best friend is Sarah...and I know she cared deeply for him but she drove me nuts. I saw her as more of a hindrance than a help at times. Leo and Mike are Aadon's best friends and I felt they were more in touch with how to deal then Sarah. Why is it that the females in these stories make me cringe?
So, yes, the story is sad and dark and full of past demons but the actual victimizing is not happening as you read but told in the past tense. That makes it much easier for me to read and I definitely prefer that format to "being there".
Even though I wasn't sure if it was gonna have a happy ending, and it waited until the 11th hour to get there, but in the end you know Jesse is not cured but he has Aadon and together they make it work.
July 5, 2013
My first experience with Jamie Samms's writing was Finders, Keepers. This is my second. I don't think I'll try another one of Samms's stories, unless someone highly recommends it to me.
As with Finders, Keepers, I suddenly realized I was bored. And absolutely did not care about the characters. This took me by surprise; the story had all the right ingredients for me to be transported wholly into a story, such as angst, a traumatic past/present, self-discovery, and struggling but growing inner strength. I haven't quite put my finger on the structural why, but something about Samms's storytelling process makes me slowly grow less interested in her characters.
As with Finders, Keepers, I suddenly realized I was bored. And absolutely did not care about the characters. This took me by surprise; the story had all the right ingredients for me to be transported wholly into a story, such as angst, a traumatic past/present, self-discovery, and struggling but growing inner strength. I haven't quite put my finger on the structural why, but something about Samms's storytelling process makes me slowly grow less interested in her characters.
to-read-pruned
January 17, 2014This Samms person really likes writing about abuse O_o
March 20, 2012
Overall
This is an excellent exploration of the "broken" and the "fixers" and how they work together and how they clash. Admittedly, I love a broken character, and this story played that point well. In addition, the main characters have Dom/Sub relations, although the complexities of Jesse's past make any real "play" fall somewhere between difficult and impossible (at least within the scope of this book). Still, the idea is explored.
This novel is character driven, with a plot that focuses on the characters' emotional advancements. The most action happens in car trips and emotional blow-ups, but the story doesn't require more than this, as it keeps true to what the blurb offers. I would definitely recommend this novel to readers who like character/emotional studies, broken characters, and emotional suffering and who don't require a heavy plot.
Strengths
One of the things I appreciated most about this story was that nothing was easy for the characters. They didn't 'get' each other right off the bat. They had arguments, disagreements, and differing expectations. While outside sources didn't cause too much conflict, they did precipitate events by adding outside pressure. There was a realistic struggle that progressed the story and forced the main characters to deal with the issues and baggage each carried. There is never a magical outside source that fixes things, but instead the character is enabled to overcome what he needs to overcome.
Better is an emotionally compelling piece that digs into the heart. In some ways the topics the book broaches are difficult to read and highly sensitive matters, but they are well handled and didn't feel triggering. I was pulled along on the emotional journey with both characters and enjoyed it to the very end.
A good mix of characters with most, if not all, doing their best to 'help' their friends--whether that help is wanted or not! Although elements of this world and the people in it are seen with rose-tinted lenses, reality is still respected, in sequences of events and in characters. This definitely has a "feel good" ending that rounds out a rather heavy story with hope.
Weaknesses
While not necessarily a weakness, the narration is told in a third-person expanded voice, which means we jump from person to person. It was properly handled and mainly stuck to the main characters (if not completely, I can't recall now), but some readers may have difficulty adjusting to this type of storytelling, since it's not as common a perspective.
There isn't much plot outside of emotional development, which, again, isn't a weakness, but readers should expect this going into the story. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed this character exploration of a topic that--honestly--gets used a lot in the books I read. Or maybe I just hunt those books out. Either way, I felt it was done well and made up for the lack of any action-based plot.
The only real weakness was toward the end where Jesse evolved a little too quickly in order to slip in a sexy sex scene. I can't grade too hard against it because everyone is different, but I felt rather startled at the advancement from "Don't touch me," to "I'm ready for this!" ...Though who wouldn't want Aadon to hold him down and make love to him? Really.
Requested this book for review.
Be sure to check out my other reviews on my blog.
This is an excellent exploration of the "broken" and the "fixers" and how they work together and how they clash. Admittedly, I love a broken character, and this story played that point well. In addition, the main characters have Dom/Sub relations, although the complexities of Jesse's past make any real "play" fall somewhere between difficult and impossible (at least within the scope of this book). Still, the idea is explored.
This novel is character driven, with a plot that focuses on the characters' emotional advancements. The most action happens in car trips and emotional blow-ups, but the story doesn't require more than this, as it keeps true to what the blurb offers. I would definitely recommend this novel to readers who like character/emotional studies, broken characters, and emotional suffering and who don't require a heavy plot.
Strengths
One of the things I appreciated most about this story was that nothing was easy for the characters. They didn't 'get' each other right off the bat. They had arguments, disagreements, and differing expectations. While outside sources didn't cause too much conflict, they did precipitate events by adding outside pressure. There was a realistic struggle that progressed the story and forced the main characters to deal with the issues and baggage each carried. There is never a magical outside source that fixes things, but instead the character is enabled to overcome what he needs to overcome.
Better is an emotionally compelling piece that digs into the heart. In some ways the topics the book broaches are difficult to read and highly sensitive matters, but they are well handled and didn't feel triggering. I was pulled along on the emotional journey with both characters and enjoyed it to the very end.
A good mix of characters with most, if not all, doing their best to 'help' their friends--whether that help is wanted or not! Although elements of this world and the people in it are seen with rose-tinted lenses, reality is still respected, in sequences of events and in characters. This definitely has a "feel good" ending that rounds out a rather heavy story with hope.
Weaknesses
While not necessarily a weakness, the narration is told in a third-person expanded voice, which means we jump from person to person. It was properly handled and mainly stuck to the main characters (if not completely, I can't recall now), but some readers may have difficulty adjusting to this type of storytelling, since it's not as common a perspective.
There isn't much plot outside of emotional development, which, again, isn't a weakness, but readers should expect this going into the story. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed this character exploration of a topic that--honestly--gets used a lot in the books I read. Or maybe I just hunt those books out. Either way, I felt it was done well and made up for the lack of any action-based plot.
The only real weakness was toward the end where Jesse evolved a little too quickly in order to slip in a sexy sex scene. I can't grade too hard against it because everyone is different, but I felt rather startled at the advancement from "Don't touch me," to "I'm ready for this!" ...Though who wouldn't want Aadon to hold him down and make love to him? Really.
Requested this book for review.
Be sure to check out my other reviews on my blog.
February 1, 2018
3.75
Better is about two men both with a similar past, and trying to make this thing called love work. Jesse a submissive who got the shitty end of the stick with an abusive Dom. Aadon a man who has witnessed the toll rape and abuse can have on a person, his older brother is the victim of that.
Jesse is still mentally/physically suffering from the abuse even years later, and is questioning if he will ever feel for another again. When Aadon appears in his life Jesse finds himself very attracted to the man but fears he is too broken to be anything good for Aadon. They both work to try and find a common ground, but it’s not always easy to meet in the middle.
I really liked Jesse he was a solid character and very believable in his pain. The author really did a wonderful thing in making him accept that he does have a problem and doesn’t pretend as if all is right. Aadon also realizes that he’s not exactly perfect when handling Jesse, and he might be putting his issue with his brother unto him. They’re all very angst, but believable angst.
I did have a few problems with the book, which kept it from being a complete 4 Pants off. I am telling you these boys were hitting the books hard, but unless I missed something *hmm* did they ever attend class? I heard about the classes but never read about them being in class. I don’t know about you, but that really adds to the college atmosphere. I also couldn’t handle the ranting these went on when they got in the mood. I get it you have problems and I appreciate that you realize it but… simmer down on explaining it.
Although Aadon’s brother Ricky was a minor character he really left an impact on me. I think I will remember his character a lot longer than I will Aadon/Jesse. I would love him to have a book of his own book and find some healing. With the level of abuse he suffered, and his mental state. I’m thinking the book would be all kinds of epic, because sex has the power to hurt but it also has the power to heal *real talk*.
Overall, I liked this one. This was my first book by Jaime Samms and will not be my last. I really enjoyed the writing, the pacing was good and I gobbled it all up in a day or so. You should check this one out if you are looking for an emotionally rich story with solid characters. The mother in me really cried for a young Ricky, and that was the hardest part in reading Better. Otherwise, I enjoyed it but not as much as I had hoped.
January 28, 2013
This book is an emotional journey into the lives of two young college men. One has been 'broken' by abuse and the other is supporting a brother who was similarly damaged and has resultant mental problems. Although initially attracted, Jesse and Aadon need to work through many issues if they are to be together.
The story is full of heartbreak and anger but also the desire to find a way to move on. The subject matter includes abuse, rape and self-harm. There are no easy answers and the author shows both men making mistakes as they navigate through a complex relationship.
My only criticism is regarding the dominant side of Aadon which I did not find convincing. Reference is made to him looking for someone to submit and he sees this need in Jesse. He voices some thoughts on control and trust and opinions about how a Dom should act. I didn't see enough in his actions to support this side of his personality.
This book is flagged with BDSM as genre but, although some reference is made, there are no real BDSM scenes. The sex is limited. This book is more about dealing with issues and building the trust needed to establish such a relationship.
The story is full of heartbreak and anger but also the desire to find a way to move on. The subject matter includes abuse, rape and self-harm. There are no easy answers and the author shows both men making mistakes as they navigate through a complex relationship.
My only criticism is regarding the dominant side of Aadon which I did not find convincing. Reference is made to him looking for someone to submit and he sees this need in Jesse. He voices some thoughts on control and trust and opinions about how a Dom should act. I didn't see enough in his actions to support this side of his personality.
This book is flagged with BDSM as genre but, although some reference is made, there are no real BDSM scenes. The sex is limited. This book is more about dealing with issues and building the trust needed to establish such a relationship.
March 27, 2012
As a young and inexperienced man, Jesse had been looking for a Dom. What he had found was a man who confused dominance with abuse. And whose abuse of Jesse was severe enough to eventually land the man in jail. Jesse has moved across country to a new school, hoping for a fresh start. And finds himself attracted to Aadon.
Aadon has a brother whose own abused past led to drug addiction and mental illness. He can't save his brother and he can't change Jesse's past. But maybe he can give Jesse a future.
This book is about recovery and trust, and dealing with abuse. And about discriminating love from just wanting to help someone. It could have been an emotionally intense read, but the frequent switches in POV kept me from becoming truly immersed in either main character's thoughts and emotions. I found this an interesting read with good characters and a nice understanding of the implications of abuse, but not an emotionally enthralling one. Some readers may prefer this less angsty treatment of a difficult subject.
Aadon has a brother whose own abused past led to drug addiction and mental illness. He can't save his brother and he can't change Jesse's past. But maybe he can give Jesse a future.
This book is about recovery and trust, and dealing with abuse. And about discriminating love from just wanting to help someone. It could have been an emotionally intense read, but the frequent switches in POV kept me from becoming truly immersed in either main character's thoughts and emotions. I found this an interesting read with good characters and a nice understanding of the implications of abuse, but not an emotionally enthralling one. Some readers may prefer this less angsty treatment of a difficult subject.
January 31, 2012
One of the best stories i've read recently. These guys really had to work to make this relationship happen - love and sex did not instantly solve all of their emotional issues . . . The book is well written with a lot of emotion and feeling.
May 30, 2012
4.5 Stars
A book with a ton of past hurts to deal with and work around. The characters worked great together and I loved that they had to work at their relationship and didn't just get it right off the bat. My only complaint was the POV shifts happening so frequently at times.
A book with a ton of past hurts to deal with and work around. The characters worked great together and I loved that they had to work at their relationship and didn't just get it right off the bat. My only complaint was the POV shifts happening so frequently at times.
December 5, 2014
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February 12, 2012
(Originally posted @ CSI:Librarian.)
4.5 Stars - Oh, Jesse and Aadon! Where can I even begin? Both of these characters were so, so terrific in so many flawed, wonderful ways. Jesse is just a heartbreaker, struggling to recover from a lot of scars, both internal and external. Aadon is struggling to pretend he doesn't have as many issues as he does as he fights an uphill battle for his ailing older brother, Ricky.
Samms did a great job avoiding easy solutions or turning either of her leading men into stereotypes. In fact she did a great job of sort of setting up a cliché dynamic only to make it clear that such a relationship wouldn't work for either Jesse or Aaddon. I especially love that their being people in need of love and happiness was far more central to Better's plot than their sexual orientation.
Along the way to finding a fresh start with each other, both men mess up badly together and apart in such natural and painful ways. There was so much give and take, so many emotions, so many moving scenes, and just so much believability to their relationship from start to finish. Neither one is fixed, neither one is completely broken, and neither one is stronger than the other. They will probably never have all the answers or a cure-all for all they've been through, but they have each other and that was a lovely message.
So the plot was really engaging and the writing was lovely. There were a lot of cooks in the kitchen as far as minor characters were concerned, but they all served a purpose. I particularly liked Aadon's friends and family as well as his therapist. I got a bit tired of Jesse's support network since there seemed to be a lot of guilt-tripping from all sides and plenty of anxiety-inducing phone calls involved that never seemed particularly helpful. The light shed on Jesse's close friend Sarah's behavior towards the end of the book made me roll my eyes and groan because I really hoped the author wouldn't go there, but none of the minor characters actively interfered or ruined the book for me.
In conclusion, Better is a beautifully executed Romance that I could not recommend highly enough and one that I will certainly re-read in the near future. After I read more of Mrs. Samms' books, of course. And do not even get me started on how much I want to have the babies of Chapters 20 and 21.
4.5 Stars - Oh, Jesse and Aadon! Where can I even begin? Both of these characters were so, so terrific in so many flawed, wonderful ways. Jesse is just a heartbreaker, struggling to recover from a lot of scars, both internal and external. Aadon is struggling to pretend he doesn't have as many issues as he does as he fights an uphill battle for his ailing older brother, Ricky.
Samms did a great job avoiding easy solutions or turning either of her leading men into stereotypes. In fact she did a great job of sort of setting up a cliché dynamic only to make it clear that such a relationship wouldn't work for either Jesse or Aaddon. I especially love that their being people in need of love and happiness was far more central to Better's plot than their sexual orientation.
Along the way to finding a fresh start with each other, both men mess up badly together and apart in such natural and painful ways. There was so much give and take, so many emotions, so many moving scenes, and just so much believability to their relationship from start to finish. Neither one is fixed, neither one is completely broken, and neither one is stronger than the other. They will probably never have all the answers or a cure-all for all they've been through, but they have each other and that was a lovely message.
So the plot was really engaging and the writing was lovely. There were a lot of cooks in the kitchen as far as minor characters were concerned, but they all served a purpose. I particularly liked Aadon's friends and family as well as his therapist. I got a bit tired of Jesse's support network since there seemed to be a lot of guilt-tripping from all sides and plenty of anxiety-inducing phone calls involved that never seemed particularly helpful. The light shed on Jesse's close friend Sarah's behavior towards the end of the book made me roll my eyes and groan because I really hoped the author wouldn't go there, but none of the minor characters actively interfered or ruined the book for me.
In conclusion, Better is a beautifully executed Romance that I could not recommend highly enough and one that I will certainly re-read in the near future. After I read more of Mrs. Samms' books, of course. And do not even get me started on how much I want to have the babies of Chapters 20 and 21.
August 24, 2013
3.5 Stars
First, the constant POV changes threw me. I had to read a lot twice, because I wasn't sure if it was Aadon or Jesse that I was supposed to be reading.
Jesse is a survivor of domestic and sexual abuse. He was raped so many times, he didn't even realize he was being raped--that's EFFED UP! He moved across the country to get away from his ex, with his best friend and protector, Sarah. But, to be honest, I thought Sarah walked on eggshells around Jesse too much. Let the guy be. He's a big boy. He'll come to you if he needs you, like he always does. It was annoying, Sarah's constant worry and nagging.
Then we meet Aadon and well, he's kind of an odd one. I wasn't sure what was going on in his head. To be honest, he was more messed up than Jesse. I wanted to strangle the ever living shit out of Aadon's parents. That's all that needs to be said about them. Aadon is attracted to Jesse and wants to get to know him. So he pursues him and a relationship forms. But, it fizzled quickly.
My heart broke for Jesse. But, I was getting REALLY upset with him for It seriously hurt my heart. I think that's where I cried for the first time. I literally had to put my kindle down and just bawl. For every single rape/abuse survivor. For those who were too scared or too humiliated to tell their story. For those who had to endure the horrific pain they went through. Then my heart soared when he stood up for himself for the first time. It was beautiful to watch. Of course, I cried again, but happy tears.
I think I need a sequel. There are too many loose ends.
LOVED the Three Musketeers :) Leo and Mike were great.
Overall, good book about overcoming abuse and realizing you can't always be a fixer. (I rounded up in my rating due to the emotion it caused me!)
First, the constant POV changes threw me. I had to read a lot twice, because I wasn't sure if it was Aadon or Jesse that I was supposed to be reading.
Jesse is a survivor of domestic and sexual abuse. He was raped so many times, he didn't even realize he was being raped--that's EFFED UP! He moved across the country to get away from his ex, with his best friend and protector, Sarah. But, to be honest, I thought Sarah walked on eggshells around Jesse too much. Let the guy be. He's a big boy. He'll come to you if he needs you, like he always does. It was annoying, Sarah's constant worry and nagging.
Then we meet Aadon and well, he's kind of an odd one. I wasn't sure what was going on in his head. To be honest, he was more messed up than Jesse. I wanted to strangle the ever living shit out of Aadon's parents. That's all that needs to be said about them. Aadon is attracted to Jesse and wants to get to know him. So he pursues him and a relationship forms. But, it fizzled quickly.
My heart broke for Jesse. But, I was getting REALLY upset with him for It seriously hurt my heart. I think that's where I cried for the first time. I literally had to put my kindle down and just bawl. For every single rape/abuse survivor. For those who were too scared or too humiliated to tell their story. For those who had to endure the horrific pain they went through. Then my heart soared when he stood up for himself for the first time. It was beautiful to watch. Of course, I cried again, but happy tears.
I think I need a sequel. There are too many loose ends.
LOVED the Three Musketeers :) Leo and Mike were great.
Overall, good book about overcoming abuse and realizing you can't always be a fixer. (I rounded up in my rating due to the emotion it caused me!)
March 29, 2016
Very touching and dramatic story! I liked how the author showed Jesse and Aadon initial attraction, but didn't push that aspect of their relationship early on. Both heroes have serious issues such as family drug abuse and being a victim of physical abuse. Now, I have never been in a position similar to what Aadon or Jesse is dealing with, but I felt like the recovery process was very realistic. I liked how these issues weren't sugarcoated or that they magically disappeared with the power of true love. These are serious obstacles that require time and patience to overcome.
Besides the dramatic aspects, this was also a sweet romance between two damaged people. Aadon and Jesse really cared for each other and showed it in a multitude of ways. Some of the side characters like Jesse's best friend got a little annoying in their protective instincts, but I can see where the author was going with their characterization. I also really liked the storyline of Aadon's brother and his parallel to Jesse's situation.
Wonderfully written story that made me cry and smile! I definitely look forward to reading more of Jaime Samm's work in the future.
Side Note: Even though the book description mentions BDSM, I should explain that this is not a major plot point. There are some hints at this lifestyle, but never any graphic scenes with it.
I received this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
Besides the dramatic aspects, this was also a sweet romance between two damaged people. Aadon and Jesse really cared for each other and showed it in a multitude of ways. Some of the side characters like Jesse's best friend got a little annoying in their protective instincts, but I can see where the author was going with their characterization. I also really liked the storyline of Aadon's brother and his parallel to Jesse's situation.
Wonderfully written story that made me cry and smile! I definitely look forward to reading more of Jaime Samm's work in the future.
Side Note: Even though the book description mentions BDSM, I should explain that this is not a major plot point. There are some hints at this lifestyle, but never any graphic scenes with it.
I received this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
March 27, 2012
Initially I wanted to go with 3.5 stars, but after thinking about it, I decided on 2.5 stars. I have to say, that this book wasn't really working for me. There were several scenes I liked very much, f.e. the meeting between Jesse and David. But Sarah was getting on my nerves the longer the story proceeded. I didn't really understand the development between Jesse and Aadon, what they liked in each other and what went wrong between them. For me it was too much thought and not enough action, so to say. Much background was given in just a few sentences, f.e. the withdrawing of funds by Aadon's parents, but nothing really on page. Then there was the BDSM-tag, which, I think, is totally misleading, as it's about abuse and rape. Overall for me there was too much thinking and not enough acting and most of the time I didn't get what the problem between their misunderstandings were. I will definitely try another book by this author, especially as I have another one on my TBR :).
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 24, 2012
A great idea that did not reach its full potential.
Far too many abrupt changes in POV.
The drama, angst, issues were there they just didn’t feel real.
When dealing with abuse, you see the characters suffering and that moves something in you. The author´s word must reach you and get you involved with them.
It just didn´t happen with Better.
The one character I honestly felt sorry for was Ricky.
The BDSM tag is just a light content warning.
I received an ARC from the publisher through NetGalley
Far too many abrupt changes in POV.
The drama, angst, issues were there they just didn’t feel real.
When dealing with abuse, you see the characters suffering and that moves something in you. The author´s word must reach you and get you involved with them.
It just didn´t happen with Better.
The one character I honestly felt sorry for was Ricky.
The BDSM tag is just a light content warning.
I received an ARC from the publisher through NetGalley
February 9, 2012
The book was amazing - not a good one to start before going to bed - way too addictive; finished it ~5am
I found myself wanting to hug Jesse and strangle his ex. Aadon and his cousins were lovely; Sweet Thing made me laugh :)
The abuse and it's after effects (such as Jesse's self harm) were dealt with sensatively. The writing was gripping, the characters well developed - all in a really good book. And very hard to stop reading partway through :)
I found myself wanting to hug Jesse and strangle his ex. Aadon and his cousins were lovely; Sweet Thing made me laugh :)
The abuse and it's after effects (such as Jesse's self harm) were dealt with sensatively. The writing was gripping, the characters well developed - all in a really good book. And very hard to stop reading partway through :)
August 19, 2014
This was one of those books that I started and couldn't stop reading until it was done. Heartbreaking and emotionally draining at times. I really enjoyed both characters, Jesse and Aadon. Jesse is just getting over a abusive relationship, and Aadon has a real need to take care him.
Very well written. I will be adding this one to my favorites. Jamie Samms is a new author for me. I will be looking out for more books by her in the future.
Very well written. I will be adding this one to my favorites. Jamie Samms is a new author for me. I will be looking out for more books by her in the future.
February 5, 2012
This was a great books with well thought out charachters and a dynamic plot. As I moved through each chapter I became more and more involved and couldn't stop reading, didn't want to stop.
If you want something to take you away read this, the sex was minimul but well placed. There was a good bit of angst but that was also well placed and a part of the story.
If you want something to take you away read this, the sex was minimul but well placed. There was a good bit of angst but that was also well placed and a part of the story.
February 20, 2012
This book is amazing... You can feel their anguish and doubts, and also their crescent love for each other. Sometimes we forget they're on their 20's, and still learning how to have a relationship and how to live with their scars and doubts. Loved it !!!!!
March 26, 2012
The story was interesting but the writing so clunky that it subtracted significantly from my enjoyment and therefore, rating.
October 9, 2017
Jesse Turbul has tried hard to put the traumatic events of his last relationship behind him. The experience left him unable to trust--not just someone else but even himself--and as much as he wants to move on, it seems like the reminders just keep coming back to haunt him. When he meets Aadon in the library, he finds himself wanting to get past his issues more than ever, but he learns that you can't rush things that shouldn't be rushed. What Jesse doesn't know is that Aadon is dealing with some issues of his own. His brother, Ricky, experienced some trauma of his own in his youth, and after turning to drugs to cope, is in a facility--and Aadon is the only member of his family who is willing to support and stand by him. It is a lot for one person to take on, and while it might make him uniquely suited to understand where Jesse is coming from, it might also mean that Aadon is much closer to his own breaking point than anyone realizes. Can the two find the right balance between love, support, and space to deal?
There is a lot of backstory here that reveals itself as the book goes on and brings out the characters' pasts (especially Jesse's) in layers. This works to help readers understand the complexity of the issues at play without throwing everyone our way all at once. There are some details that are never revealed, but this is balanced with enough information to get the picture and a recognition that those details aren't necessary to engage with the plot and the characters and understand what they are going through. I found this to be an enjoyable and interesting read, and although it's not all sunshine and rainbows, there is a bit of an uplifting feel to it overall.
There is a lot of backstory here that reveals itself as the book goes on and brings out the characters' pasts (especially Jesse's) in layers. This works to help readers understand the complexity of the issues at play without throwing everyone our way all at once. There are some details that are never revealed, but this is balanced with enough information to get the picture and a recognition that those details aren't necessary to engage with the plot and the characters and understand what they are going through. I found this to be an enjoyable and interesting read, and although it's not all sunshine and rainbows, there is a bit of an uplifting feel to it overall.
June 27, 2018
3.5 stars I love Jaime Samms. I’ve read pretty much all her stuff. This wasn’t my favorite. It has a lot of plot lines I enjoy, hurt/comfort, slow build, characters with real human feelings and self doubts. Somehow though, it just dragged a bit and I can’t really put my finger on why. Regardless, it goes in my “keeper” file. Maybe I’ll read it again in a year or so and try to get a better handle in my reservations.
June 22, 2012
As part of my campaign to challenge myself to read different genres I’m not used to e.g. male-male romance novels. I decided to read Better, surprisingly I found it no different except for the intimate scenes. Mostly I was drawn to this book by the story this one in particular because it dealt with abuse. Abuse in same sex relationships, and dealing with the aftermath when it’s over. How the victim Jesse deals with it and the process he has to go through to pick up the pieces of his life and move on. Jesse reached out to me through the synopsis and intrigued me to read his story. I really liked “Better” it shone a light on the dark side of same sex relationships the abuse victims suffer at the hands of their partners.
Delivering drama I must warn you if you’ve read this far this story includes rape, cutting, emotional as well as physical abuse. Though Jesse’s story is told in the aftermath of the abuse. We see examples in glimpses of what he went through flashbacks usually triggered out of panic, and when Jessie recalls his story for the trail. This is a touching story that shows how love can heal the painful scars of abuse. Aadon’s character was strong, kind, loving and supportive of Jesse and gave him what ever was best for his recovery even if it meant the kid gloves were on 98% of the time. Whether Jesse liked it or not. His character had his own family trauma his brother Ricky had been brutalized and subsequently retreated into himself. Which gave merit to his treatment of Jesse and why Aadon was especially sensitive to Jesse.
Tackling a tough subject such as abuse and make it believable isn’t easy that is the mark of a good writer I believe Jamie did that here, but some character development (on the part of the women) would have elevated the story. The situations were believable the characters solid except as I mentioned the adults came off a bit cookie cutter. The women in particular far too motherly and understanding even given the story is about abuse. It’s human nature to have some push and pull of emotions at least Aadon’s parents were believable, that said I really liked this story. I liked that the writer didn’t fall into the trap of preaching to their readers or pushing the writers personal opinions.
Jesse was relatable in a way that this could happen to anyone, he was tramautized sufficiently and you understood this terrible thing happened to him. The relationship between him and Aadon was cute at first but when the ghosts of past abuse crept in. Aadon’s support became a tad after school special. Reading it over and over how Jesse flinches at Aadon’s touch or Anthony this Anthony that. That should have been the light bulb moment to seek professional help. Shouldn’t Aadon’s affection and support given him the strength to do it sooner. Maybe then poor Aadon could be around Jesse with fearing he was going to trigger some traumatic memory. I was like where is the light at the end of this tunnel. Realism is all well and good but this is fiction the story needed to progress not just stagnate in this specific time in his life. It made it difficult to keep caring if they would get their happy ending.
Jesse for all I loved him he got on my nerves after awhile. The tramautized victim was played up a little too much for my liking that resolution at the end seemed rushed. Because the way Jesse’s trauma was portrayed he seemed way too fragile for a relationship, to me. Yes it was a step in the right direction discovering he can still feel attraction for a man again but I think they rushed things. After that debacle of their first hook up he should have sought out help. I know the subject of abuse is serious and the more extreme it is the deeper the mark it leaves on you.
But Better had a sound story be it a bit over embellished on the trauma, the pacing could have done with a pick me up some of the characters given a shot of realism all in all I loved the concept I just think a few small tweaks and it would have been a four or five. For these reasons I gave it a three and a half stars. I recommend this book for the 18 and older crowd for the adult themes, graphic sex scenes, mild salty language. If you read erotica or male male themed romance novels give this book a read.
http://sonythebooklover.com/2012/06/b...
Delivering drama I must warn you if you’ve read this far this story includes rape, cutting, emotional as well as physical abuse. Though Jesse’s story is told in the aftermath of the abuse. We see examples in glimpses of what he went through flashbacks usually triggered out of panic, and when Jessie recalls his story for the trail. This is a touching story that shows how love can heal the painful scars of abuse. Aadon’s character was strong, kind, loving and supportive of Jesse and gave him what ever was best for his recovery even if it meant the kid gloves were on 98% of the time. Whether Jesse liked it or not. His character had his own family trauma his brother Ricky had been brutalized and subsequently retreated into himself. Which gave merit to his treatment of Jesse and why Aadon was especially sensitive to Jesse.
Tackling a tough subject such as abuse and make it believable isn’t easy that is the mark of a good writer I believe Jamie did that here, but some character development (on the part of the women) would have elevated the story. The situations were believable the characters solid except as I mentioned the adults came off a bit cookie cutter. The women in particular far too motherly and understanding even given the story is about abuse. It’s human nature to have some push and pull of emotions at least Aadon’s parents were believable, that said I really liked this story. I liked that the writer didn’t fall into the trap of preaching to their readers or pushing the writers personal opinions.
Jesse was relatable in a way that this could happen to anyone, he was tramautized sufficiently and you understood this terrible thing happened to him. The relationship between him and Aadon was cute at first but when the ghosts of past abuse crept in. Aadon’s support became a tad after school special. Reading it over and over how Jesse flinches at Aadon’s touch or Anthony this Anthony that. That should have been the light bulb moment to seek professional help. Shouldn’t Aadon’s affection and support given him the strength to do it sooner. Maybe then poor Aadon could be around Jesse with fearing he was going to trigger some traumatic memory. I was like where is the light at the end of this tunnel. Realism is all well and good but this is fiction the story needed to progress not just stagnate in this specific time in his life. It made it difficult to keep caring if they would get their happy ending.
Jesse for all I loved him he got on my nerves after awhile. The tramautized victim was played up a little too much for my liking that resolution at the end seemed rushed. Because the way Jesse’s trauma was portrayed he seemed way too fragile for a relationship, to me. Yes it was a step in the right direction discovering he can still feel attraction for a man again but I think they rushed things. After that debacle of their first hook up he should have sought out help. I know the subject of abuse is serious and the more extreme it is the deeper the mark it leaves on you.
But Better had a sound story be it a bit over embellished on the trauma, the pacing could have done with a pick me up some of the characters given a shot of realism all in all I loved the concept I just think a few small tweaks and it would have been a four or five. For these reasons I gave it a three and a half stars. I recommend this book for the 18 and older crowd for the adult themes, graphic sex scenes, mild salty language. If you read erotica or male male themed romance novels give this book a read.
http://sonythebooklover.com/2012/06/b...
February 17, 2012
Review originally posted here: http://thebookpushers.com/2012/02/16/...
This was such an emotional book, I don’t even know where to start. As much as I loved it, it was difficult to read as well.
Jesse moved across the country to get away from the memories of his ex-Dom and abuser. He is scared to let anyone close, let alone think about getting into a new relationship. But one man frequents the library where Jesse works, and he finds himself attracted to someone for the first time in awhile.
Aadon is attracted to Jesse, but with his own guilt and stress of dealing with and taking care of his older brother, he is worried that he won’t be able to give Jesse the kind of care he deserves. But the two are emotionally attached to each other to the point where they just can’t seem to stay away. But will they both be able to move on from the past and focus on the future?
I can’t even to tell you how much the blurb doesn’t come close to hitting on the emotional impact of this story. The angst and heartache that both Jesse and Aadon go through from start to finish is a never-ending roller coaster.
Jesse is an emotional wreck throughout the entire book. He has been dealing with the trauma of an abusive ex-Dom, whom he turned in and had sent to jail. The weight of that pain and guilt is so much that Jesse suffers from cutting and other destructive tendencies. Those scenes are hard to read. Samms does a wonderful job of showing us the pain and anguish that Jesse suffers, but it is not easy to read. For me, it was heartbreaking and cringe-worthy as I suffered right along side Jesse. I wanted to help him get better as much as Aadon did, but it was so hard to Jesse to let go of the past and move forward. Even towards the end of the book as Jesse began working on his issues, it was clear that he still wasn’t one hundred percent better.
While Aadon didn’t have any physical trauma to deal with, his internal emotional scars were almost as drastic as Jesse’s. After his parents abandoned his older brother, Aadon got stuck with the responsibility of helping his brother get past an event very similar to Jesse’s past. The stress of keeping his brother in the assisted home, and trying to love Jesse enough to help with his problems, it was too much for him to deal with. Aadon really tried to do everything the right way, in the best way he knew possible, but it seemed as if he couldn’t get out of his own head enough to help those around him. While he made a lot more of an emotional progress than Jesse seemed to make, it was clear to me that he wasn’t completely “fixed” either by the end of the book.
As each man struggled with their own landmines, they also did their best to navigate through each others, and for me, that is where the book really dealt the most blows. They hurt each other and caused more pain in the beginning of their relationship. While it was evident by the words on the page that they loved each other, I had a little bit of a harder time believing it. I had a difficult time believing that after everything they went through alone and together that they would still be so in-love. I wanted to believe in their relationship, but struggled to understand why they kept coming back to each other.
All in all this book was draining to read. It was well written and pulled at my heart strings enough that I found tears streaming down my face a few times. But at the same time I wanted them to have their happily ever after, and I struggled with it. This is not a light-hearted book, so readers need to make sure they have a box of tissues and a cheerful book to follow up with after.
I give Better a C+
This was such an emotional book, I don’t even know where to start. As much as I loved it, it was difficult to read as well.
Jesse moved across the country to get away from the memories of his ex-Dom and abuser. He is scared to let anyone close, let alone think about getting into a new relationship. But one man frequents the library where Jesse works, and he finds himself attracted to someone for the first time in awhile.
Aadon is attracted to Jesse, but with his own guilt and stress of dealing with and taking care of his older brother, he is worried that he won’t be able to give Jesse the kind of care he deserves. But the two are emotionally attached to each other to the point where they just can’t seem to stay away. But will they both be able to move on from the past and focus on the future?
I can’t even to tell you how much the blurb doesn’t come close to hitting on the emotional impact of this story. The angst and heartache that both Jesse and Aadon go through from start to finish is a never-ending roller coaster.
Jesse is an emotional wreck throughout the entire book. He has been dealing with the trauma of an abusive ex-Dom, whom he turned in and had sent to jail. The weight of that pain and guilt is so much that Jesse suffers from cutting and other destructive tendencies. Those scenes are hard to read. Samms does a wonderful job of showing us the pain and anguish that Jesse suffers, but it is not easy to read. For me, it was heartbreaking and cringe-worthy as I suffered right along side Jesse. I wanted to help him get better as much as Aadon did, but it was so hard to Jesse to let go of the past and move forward. Even towards the end of the book as Jesse began working on his issues, it was clear that he still wasn’t one hundred percent better.
While Aadon didn’t have any physical trauma to deal with, his internal emotional scars were almost as drastic as Jesse’s. After his parents abandoned his older brother, Aadon got stuck with the responsibility of helping his brother get past an event very similar to Jesse’s past. The stress of keeping his brother in the assisted home, and trying to love Jesse enough to help with his problems, it was too much for him to deal with. Aadon really tried to do everything the right way, in the best way he knew possible, but it seemed as if he couldn’t get out of his own head enough to help those around him. While he made a lot more of an emotional progress than Jesse seemed to make, it was clear to me that he wasn’t completely “fixed” either by the end of the book.
As each man struggled with their own landmines, they also did their best to navigate through each others, and for me, that is where the book really dealt the most blows. They hurt each other and caused more pain in the beginning of their relationship. While it was evident by the words on the page that they loved each other, I had a little bit of a harder time believing it. I had a difficult time believing that after everything they went through alone and together that they would still be so in-love. I wanted to believe in their relationship, but struggled to understand why they kept coming back to each other.
All in all this book was draining to read. It was well written and pulled at my heart strings enough that I found tears streaming down my face a few times. But at the same time I wanted them to have their happily ever after, and I struggled with it. This is not a light-hearted book, so readers need to make sure they have a box of tissues and a cheerful book to follow up with after.
I give Better a C+
February 23, 2012
My Review:
A- hot
I will admit that when I sat down to read this book, it wasn't what I expected, but it was such a powerfully good book. Both of these men are so damaged, but they are trying to heal and make things work. It's makes for an incredibly emotional book.
Jesse hasn't been in a relationship since his last boyfriend systematically abused and eventually almost killed him. He's trying to get his life back on track though and a guy, Aaden, has caught his eye at the university library where he works at. Unfortunately, just leaving that abuse behind him isn't enough and every time Jesse thinks that things are getting better, something happens which brings back the nightmares and the pain of that abuse. Jesse thinks that he can just power through his emotional upheaval and everything will be okay, but he just ends up hurting both him and Aaden in the process.
Aaden knows what happens when you aren't able to deal with abuse. He has an older brother, Ricky, who was abused as a child and wasn't able to deal with it. He's in an institution and is basically only a shell living inside his own head where he knows that it's safe. Unfortunately, he sees too much of Ricky when Jesse is suffering. He knows where Jesse is headed if he doesn't deal with things, but it's not something that Aaden can do for him. It's a painful lesson for both of them.
There is no doubt that these two guys love each other, but there is so much damage for both of them, it's not a sure thing that either of them are going to be able to get past their very harsh issues. The story is riveting and as the reader, your heart simply aches for both of them.
There are many poignant moments in this book, but some of my favorite come between Aaden and his group of friends. I love what their relationship added to the book. On the other hand, Jesse has a very different support system through his friend Sarah. If there is a single thing that I can complain about with this book, it is her character. She was harsh in so many ways. I can understand why she was written the way that she was, but towards the end of the book, I just couldn't see how her story line was helping the story at all.
To see that I enjoyed this book seems wrong just because it is dealing with such harsh issues, but I enjoyed watching the relationship between Aaden and Jesse develop and how they both learned more about themselves and each other. There was never a moment in the book where I thought that the subject matter became too much. I don't do depressing reading and that is something that the author handled beautifully. She never let the harsh details overwhelm the beauty of the story and the developing relationship between these two. It remains an uplifting book throughout.
But a warning for you: This book does deal with some of the realities of sexual abuse and rape and may be too much for some readers. I never had any issues with that, but if you are particularly sensitive, you just might.
A- hot
I will admit that when I sat down to read this book, it wasn't what I expected, but it was such a powerfully good book. Both of these men are so damaged, but they are trying to heal and make things work. It's makes for an incredibly emotional book.
Jesse hasn't been in a relationship since his last boyfriend systematically abused and eventually almost killed him. He's trying to get his life back on track though and a guy, Aaden, has caught his eye at the university library where he works at. Unfortunately, just leaving that abuse behind him isn't enough and every time Jesse thinks that things are getting better, something happens which brings back the nightmares and the pain of that abuse. Jesse thinks that he can just power through his emotional upheaval and everything will be okay, but he just ends up hurting both him and Aaden in the process.
Aaden knows what happens when you aren't able to deal with abuse. He has an older brother, Ricky, who was abused as a child and wasn't able to deal with it. He's in an institution and is basically only a shell living inside his own head where he knows that it's safe. Unfortunately, he sees too much of Ricky when Jesse is suffering. He knows where Jesse is headed if he doesn't deal with things, but it's not something that Aaden can do for him. It's a painful lesson for both of them.
There is no doubt that these two guys love each other, but there is so much damage for both of them, it's not a sure thing that either of them are going to be able to get past their very harsh issues. The story is riveting and as the reader, your heart simply aches for both of them.
There are many poignant moments in this book, but some of my favorite come between Aaden and his group of friends. I love what their relationship added to the book. On the other hand, Jesse has a very different support system through his friend Sarah. If there is a single thing that I can complain about with this book, it is her character. She was harsh in so many ways. I can understand why she was written the way that she was, but towards the end of the book, I just couldn't see how her story line was helping the story at all.
To see that I enjoyed this book seems wrong just because it is dealing with such harsh issues, but I enjoyed watching the relationship between Aaden and Jesse develop and how they both learned more about themselves and each other. There was never a moment in the book where I thought that the subject matter became too much. I don't do depressing reading and that is something that the author handled beautifully. She never let the harsh details overwhelm the beauty of the story and the developing relationship between these two. It remains an uplifting book throughout.
But a warning for you: This book does deal with some of the realities of sexual abuse and rape and may be too much for some readers. I never had any issues with that, but if you are particularly sensitive, you just might.
January 7, 2015
Jesse Turbul lives a life of fear and isolation, all but paralyzed by the abuse he suffered at the hands of his ex, a vicious man that used the guise of a dom/sub relationship to physically and mentally abuse Jesse. After pressing charges and putting his tormentor behind bars, Jesse moved away and is trying to have some resemblance of a life, going to school, working in the library. When a fellow student shows interest in Jesse, it scares him and opens up old wounds.
Aadon has admired Jesse from afar for a while, not only attracted to shy guy that works at the library, but sensing he and Jesse share a mutual interest in the type of relationship they want. But pursuing Jesse turns out to be very challenging, to say the least. Aadon is determined to learn the truth behind Jesse’s scars though.
The two begin a shaky friendship, with both wanting more but not acting on that want for different reasons. Aadon slowly unravels the mystery behind Jesse and what makes him so skiddish and falls in love with the broken soul he holds in his hands. But Jesse’s hesitancy to trust anyone coupled with troubling news from home send him back into his self imposed isolation and make him drive away the one man that stood a chance at rescuing him, from himself.
I was drawn into this story almost immediately but somewhere along the way, the story started to drag and I found myself skimming here and there. I can’t quite put my finger on it, not quite angst but close. The story itself is what kept me going though, I became invested in these two men wanting, no needing to know whether or not they got their version of a happy ever after. This was definitely a case of narration hindering the finesse of the story, in my opinion. My first audible from Randy Fuller and it will probably be my last. While I could hear the despair in Jesse’s voice when he was the focus, Fuller chose to use two subtly different tones for Aadon, which was confusing. I had to rewind a couple times to be sure that it was actually Aadon who was meant to be speaking.
Sadly, I have to give this book a lower rating at this time because of the mediocre narration. I mean to go back and read the written version of this story at some point, because THAT kept me listening to this audio book. The grit and grime that was Jesse’s life, what he went through and how he survived and how he so wants to be better, to be more. And finally coming to the realization that it is something he has to do himself. He can love Aadon, but he can’t rely on Aadon to make it all better.
So, my recommendation, READ the book, skip the audio.
* I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review through http://mmgoodbookreviews.wordpress.com *
Aadon has admired Jesse from afar for a while, not only attracted to shy guy that works at the library, but sensing he and Jesse share a mutual interest in the type of relationship they want. But pursuing Jesse turns out to be very challenging, to say the least. Aadon is determined to learn the truth behind Jesse’s scars though.
The two begin a shaky friendship, with both wanting more but not acting on that want for different reasons. Aadon slowly unravels the mystery behind Jesse and what makes him so skiddish and falls in love with the broken soul he holds in his hands. But Jesse’s hesitancy to trust anyone coupled with troubling news from home send him back into his self imposed isolation and make him drive away the one man that stood a chance at rescuing him, from himself.
I was drawn into this story almost immediately but somewhere along the way, the story started to drag and I found myself skimming here and there. I can’t quite put my finger on it, not quite angst but close. The story itself is what kept me going though, I became invested in these two men wanting, no needing to know whether or not they got their version of a happy ever after. This was definitely a case of narration hindering the finesse of the story, in my opinion. My first audible from Randy Fuller and it will probably be my last. While I could hear the despair in Jesse’s voice when he was the focus, Fuller chose to use two subtly different tones for Aadon, which was confusing. I had to rewind a couple times to be sure that it was actually Aadon who was meant to be speaking.
Sadly, I have to give this book a lower rating at this time because of the mediocre narration. I mean to go back and read the written version of this story at some point, because THAT kept me listening to this audio book. The grit and grime that was Jesse’s life, what he went through and how he survived and how he so wants to be better, to be more. And finally coming to the realization that it is something he has to do himself. He can love Aadon, but he can’t rely on Aadon to make it all better.
So, my recommendation, READ the book, skip the audio.
* I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review through http://mmgoodbookreviews.wordpress.com *
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