There Are Two Marriages

by Tony Jones

An essay by theologian Tony Jones on the nature of marriage in American society and the church. Jones argues that there are two marriages in America -- civil marriage and sacramental marriage -- and they serve two distinct functions in our lives. Thus, they should be separated.

Genres: Politics, Religion, Theology

Kindle Edition

First published September 14, 2011

About the author

Tony Jones is the author of The God of Wild Places: Rediscovering the Divine in the Untamed Outdoors (2024) and an award-winning outdoors writer. He’s written a dozen books, including Did God Kill Jesus? and The Sacred Way: Spiritual Practices for Everyday Life. Tony hosts the Reverend Hunter Podcast, and teaches at Fuller Theological Seminary. He served as a consultant on the television show, The Path, and he owns an event planning company, Crucible Creative. He holds an A.B. from Dartmouth College, an M.Div. from Fuller Theological Seminary, and a Ph.D. from Princeton Theological Seminary. Tony is married, has three children, and lives in Edina, Minnesota.

Reviews

[Nate · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciate Tony Jones' matter-of-fact take on marriage. It's ironic that the government gives power to ministers, rabbis, priests, etc. to be agents of the state in sanctioning marriages. Jones argues for the state to sanction any civil partnership as a bona fide civil union while leaving the sacramental blessing responsibility to religious groups. Jones asks questions like Why is it that a pastor or priest can validate a marriage but not dissolve it? Why is that in the hands of the state?

Jones has put his money where his mouth is. His second marriage was blessed by a pastor in his church, but he purposefully did not sign a state-sanctioned official marriage license.

I've always felt uneasy about the fact that the government can pronounce a marriage as "valid" or not. I believe that a marriage's validity comes from God and the community of faith, not the government. On the other hand, I also believe that lifelong committed relationships deserve the recognition and protection of the state. Tony Jones argues for both, but separately. This doesn't seem too far-fetched. Many, if not all Western European countries allow both a civil marriage and a religious marriage.

[Robert D. Cornwall · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's brief! It's short manifesto that Tony wrote a few years ago as the issue of marriage equality was just beginning to heat up. Tony argues that legal and sacred marriage are two different things, which I would agree with. He also advises clergy not to serve as agents of the state by signing off on marriage certificates. I understand his point, agree in part, but not sure I'm ready to go that far in my own ministry.

It won't take you more than 30 - 60 minutes to read. My interest in the book stems from my involvement in writing a bible study guide on marriage. This proved helpful in sorting out the two forms of marriage in America.

[Jonathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A way forward through the current reality of legalized same-sex marriage for pastors and communities of faith whether one likes gay marriage or not. It is also a way in which the church recovers her unique voice on marriage that she risks forfeiting for intimacy with the State. There are two marriages, one civil and sanctioned by the state for tax and other benefits and a sacramental one that joins two into one in the eyes of God and the church. They are separate matters and treating them as such provides a way forward past the 0 sum game all have been playing with this particular issue.