Whore Stories: A Revealing History of the World's Oldest Profession

by Tyler Stoddard Smith

Tyler Smith's fascinating and sometimes truly astonishing tales of streetwalkers, call girls, madams, pimps and rent boys are fundamentally true (a few, as he recognizes, fall into the category of cultural myths), and are not only interesting but also funny--often hilarious.

Have you ever wondered how Heidi Fleiss came to be the face of upscale prostitution or if Casanova really was the world's greatest lover? How about why Latin playboy Rubi Rubirosa got the nickname "The Ding Dong Daddy"?

While you may think that you know everything about this occupation, Whore Stories includes plenty of details and even celebrities, such as Maya Angelou and Bob Dylan, that will leave you in awe.

From private sex schools and Snoop Dogg, to child preachers, mime fantasies and unfortunate amputations, Whore Stories offers a fascinating, hilarious and often times shocking look at the world's oldest profession.

Genres: History, Nonfiction, Historical, Sexuality, Sex Work, Sociology, Adult

256 pages, Paperback

First published June 18, 2012

About the author

Tyler Stoddard Smith’s writing has been featured in: UTNE Reader, McSweeney’s, Esquire, The Best American Fantasy, The Science Creative Quarterly and The Morning News, among others. He is also a regular contributor at The Nervous Breakdown and an associate editor of the online humor site, The Big Jewel. His first book, Whore Stories: A Revealing History of the World’s Oldest Profession was published in July 2012 by Adams Media.

Reviews

[Joanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't know why, but when I first picked up this book I thought it was going to be one of those dryish intellectual histories about sex which seem to be like, everywhere. I guess I have been trained by all those times when I pick up something about sex and it's like, "A Serious Look on..." which is understandable if I'm reading about sexual minorities or women's lives but damn, every single time? It's like the camera is panning towards softly blowing curtains, forever. Especially with a subtitle like "A Revealing History of the World's Oldest Profession" and a cover picture of like, a medieval woodcut. Practically screams, "I'm a bit bashful about the whole sex thing, sorry."

But instead it is like a very long cracked.com list. and I love cracked.com! A cracked.com "6 things you didn't know about prostitution" that is 250 pages.

Here are two things I learned:
1. There is a whorehouse kinda near Area 51 which is sci-fi/alien themed, called The Alien Cathouse. Yes, there do appear to be hos body painted green, and the bar has a "Quark's Bar" sign. I went to the website, and it is disappointing, actually :(
2. Mary Jane "Bricktop" Jackson. She stabbed any guy who dissed her with her specially made double-stabby knife (a blade at each end, like darth maul). There was a man who called her a whore, that's a stabbin'. Then there was a guy who told her and her friends to stop using foul language at the bar they hanging out in, so he got a stabbin'. Then there was this really tall guy (like 7 feet), they argued over what direction he might fall after she stabbed him, so she stabbed him to prove she was right (he fell forward). And then this story:

After going to prison for a bit for the foul language stabbin', she met prison guard John Miller. John Miller had lost an arm, and replaced it with a iron ball and chain (!!!). These two, knowing that they had found in each other a soul mate, took to luring johns to secluded areas where they will be beaten with their pants down (by a man with with a freakin' MACE ATTACHED TO HIS ARM). One day, Mr Miller thought he should show Bricktop who's boss by whippin' her. HA! Bricktop took control of the whip and started whippin' his ass. When he tried to hit her with his mace arm, she grabbed it! and started draggin him around the room by his ball. Then he tried to stab her, but come on. Bricktop stabbed him. She went to jail, but only served a few months of her sentence until the civil war broke out, then I guess I governor of Louisiana was like, fuck it, and let 'em all out. And she was never heard from again.

[apparently, · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author's morally superior attitude to sex workers throughout the book is insufferable. Hey, if their stories are good enough to use in your book, then you can write about them with respect.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Maybe I'm biased, but I think this book is smart, funny and incredibly empathetic to the peculiar history of sex work.

I couldn't say it better than this Amazon reviewer did: "Tyler Stoddard Smith has fully aroused my interest in becoming a whore-atarian. In this profound, concise and witty book, you can learn about all types of strumpets, trollops, hussies, and harlots from all over the world..from the past to the present... without tedium. It's like a hilarious cliff notes to the Encyclopedia of Escorts...if there was one.

I laughed. (fellatio for money is oh so funny)
I cried. (maybe out of comparison)
I pondered. (am I too old to change professions?)
I will read it and reference it again.

Educate and entertain yourselves, people...this is a must-have!"

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tyler Stoddard Smith: a humorist who "never tells jokes."



With Tyler Stoddard Smith’s new book about prostitutes, there is no fear of reading any solemn, stodgy accounts of the brazen businesswomen and men the French call “les grandes horizontales.”

Whore Stories: A Revealing History of the World’s Oldest Profession (on sale now, from Adams Media) is a saucy, shocking survey of 100+ whores—as well as public figures we might not have known were once employed in the sex trade.

When it comes to translating dry, historical, or biographical material into rich, mirth-filled nuggets of prose, Smith is at his best. Whore Stories is outrageous, intelligent, and very funny. It turns out that whores are regular people, too—and many irregular, especially famous people once whored themselves out to get where they are.

As Smith writes of Al Pacino (a surprising addition to his entertaining essays and mini-exposés of infamous whores):

"Dog Day Afternoon, The Devil’s Advocate, Scent of a Woman, The Insider, Sea of Love . . . Cruising? Perhaps it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that at one time, the über-actor Al Pacino made his daily bread by slanging himself as a sexual spazzino on the island of Sicily. That’s right, before the accolades and before his acting ‘style’ devolved into either whispering or screaming his lines, Pacino the prostitute was a lead role."

Pacino was certainly not the only male thespian involved in whoring. Smith also skewers Inside the Actor’s Studio host, James Lipton, who has admitted his salad days in Paris as a low-level pimp:

"Today, James Lipton is looking down the barrel at his ninetieth birthday, but all indications are that this histrionic Methuselah may continue pursuing the Holy Grail of Cinema long after solar flares have consumed the rest of us. He’s no Snoop Dogg, but James Lipton and his supercilious baritone, along with his feast of insights and inanities, no doubt sent home from Paris countless young Americans with a thriving colony of genital warts after looking for love in all the wrong plazas."

Of course, there are the famous whores, such as Xaviera Hollander, the “Happy Hooker” from Penthouse fame. And the violent ones, such as Smith’s personal favorite in terms of pure drama (and uncalled-for violence): Mary “Bricktop” Jackson of New Orleans, who beat her johns senseless in a series of signature, sadistic moves. So, too, there are the Hollywood whores: Thirteen women have won Oscars for playing prostitutes. Smith covers all types of whores in his raucous compendium of what can happen when money is charged for sex.

With Whore Stories, the always funny Smith (when asked how a pregnant Snooki was going to fit into the new season of Jersey Shore, he responded, “Sweatpants? I don’t know. Look, I just want Tila Tequila back, then we can talk reality,”) explained that he didn’t even have to try to be funny in his new book. “These prostitutes, pimps, and madams were crazy and funny all on their own. Whore Stories is meant to be humorous, but it’s also meant to be informative and explore some of the darker sides of this ‘career,’ as well.”

For a writer and humorist (or humorous writer) who says he “never tries to tell jokes”—as in, ‘A man walks into a bar…’ Tyler Stoddard Smith’s mind can’t stop dreaming up the funniest way to say things.
“I don’t want people to feel obligated to laugh,” the soft-spoken, surprisingly shy Smith explains of his humor and his disinclination to present obvious jokes for a presumed chuckle. “I know what made me laugh while I was writing, but trying to be funny can often mean trying too hard. This is why I have such awe of stand-up comedy. It’s not what I do; I‘m a writer. But I don’t want be taken too seriously, that’s for sure.”

So what makes whores funny? “They make people uncomfortable, which is funny,” Smith says. “People also make such grandiose (and often negative) assumptions about prostitution and prostitutes, and they don’t for a moment consider them as people, as individuals. That is inordinately sad, but given the vast number of people who have visited prostitutes, it’s also hypocritical and emblematic.”

By Smith’s own estimation, Whore Stories pays equal attention to both he- and she-whores. But is “whore” now a bad word? “It stings a little, I know,” Smith admits. “I think it’s a pretty weighted word, at least because, historically, it has been used as a derogatory term, most typically to describe a female. By giving all these whores an unvarnished look, I’m trying to—in a sense—reclaim the word.” His book, Smith explains, might have been more P.C. if titled Sex Worker Stories, “but that doesn’t have any pop.”

Making facts “pop” and morph into something new is what Smith often does. In his inimitable style, Smith works by conducting deep research (usually on Google, especially Google books, he says), then incorporating this serious, historical, philosophical and cultural background into his writings—while ripping on the geniuses who spread big thoughts and created these lasting, iconic impressions. Those jarring juxtapositions, and the absurdity of the situations Smith imagines give life to his unique writing voice.

Indeed, Smith researched well-known quotes about beauty and incorporated them into “Truth and Booty,” a rollicking essay/story (a bit of fact and a hefty dose of fiction) now out in TNB Books’ new collection, The Beautiful Anthology, released June 9.


In his piece in The Beautiful Anthology, Smith riffs on a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“'Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.’ An ironic statement from a man who spent most of his life cooped up in his study, groaning about ‘the infinitude of the private man.’ To be fair, Emerson…once traveled to England where he confused Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s opium for cinnamon (in the ensuing vision quest, he suggested Coleridge publish “Kublai Khan” as a pop-up book, throwing Coleridge into a frenzy, who then asked the blitzkrieged Brahmin, ‘Why am I not getting any fucking buzz from this? This is exactly what you get when you deal with the Moroccans, Ralphie!’”).

Smith admits that his encyclopedic interests and wide-ranging reading habit help him to create his own humorous works (his stories have been featured in: UTNE Reader, McSweeney's, Esquire, The Best American Fantasy, VICE and The Morning News, among others. He is also a regular contributor at the literary Web site, The Nervous Breakdown and an associate editor of the online humor site, The Big Jewel).

When a variety of material is read routinely and if, as Smith explains, “you reach far enough in all directions, you can pretty much connect anything, and that’s what I often try to do. I find an interesting topic or premise, then I try to hitch it to something ostensibly incompatible and see if it moves. That’s why I’ve written stories about Jean-Paul Sartre as a 911 operator and Emily Dickinson being coached in rap battling.”

Smith also tries to keep a lot of balls (no pun intended) in the air, working on an assortment of projects at the same time in order to keep fresh and keep busy. He even has a web series called Cody Gambol. The writing business is picking up, though as Smith admits, everything in today’s publishing climate is a difficult sell. But “even rejection letters are getting more encouraging. Although I did recently receive a letter from a publication that said they were more interested in ‘fiction and nonfiction’ than in what I had provided. Fiction and nonfiction kind of covers the spectrum, so that was discouraging. But my friends [have been] exceedingly encouraging, and my parents have always been preposterously supportive, so much so that I wonder if they aren’t bullshitting me."

The conversation then segues to Smith’s observation that many prostitutes have died, inauspiciously, on the toilet. Asked what commentary about dying on the toilet he might offer, particularly since Elvis (not a whore) died that way, Smith says, “…it seems like Sudden Toilet Death (STD?) afflicts those tormented by a sense of dwindling fame. Or perhaps dwindling fame causes one’s bowels to move with more regularity, so there’ s just more bowl time in general. This is something for Steven Pinker, not me. But Steve and I had a falling out over his mullet, so the research probably won’t get done.” Jokes aside, Smith says, “I think dying on the toilet is sad at first, then funny. Of course, the only thing funnier is ignoring the fact that someone died on the toilet.”


Humor is a part of life, after all. “It’s important to laugh, even if you can’t be happy.” Smith says. “Humor can be like an episodic shock of happiness. A little taste.”

So, even when the subject is serious (one-eighth of Whore Stories is dedicated to serial killer prostitutes, after all), there’s no reason not to laugh. It’s yin and yang: “Recognizing one’s own faults and absurdities in others” is what brings out humor in people, Smith notes. “It’s a strange blend of empathy and cruelty.”--Elizabeth Collins (from the blog Pretty Freaky, http://prettyfreaky.blogspot.com)

[Randall · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful book that has been very poorly represented by the publisher. It is "historical" in the sense that it consists of a hundred or so short, essentially accurate, biographies of prostitutes, madams, pimps and "rent boys," spanning some three thousand years and reflecting a wide variety of cultures, both East and West. But it is also, and primarily, an extremely funny, clever and sophisticated (in a completely unpretentious way) collection of colorful essays about the human condition. Sadly, however, a prospective buyer would never know this from the Adams Media "blurb," which is, quite simply, awful. The marketing division at AM should be ashamed of itself.

Of the various reviews of the book that I have seen so far, the best description is on the Amazon.com website by A. Burlingame. Here is what he or she says that rings particularly true:

"It is difficult to classify the humor in the book; sometimes it's highbrow, sometimes it's down and dirty, sometimes it's satirical, sometimes it's off the wall. But the book is relentlessly funny--often laugh-out-loud funny. Whore Stories is seldom overtly political . . . but it is smart, witty, breezily philosophical and always insightful. Now and then Smith is content to tell an interesting story without poking fun at anyone, but even in these cases he is a master at setting his stories up and ending them with clever one-liners (check out in particular the pieces on Cary Grant and Maya Angelou--yes, that Cary Grant and that Maya Angelou). Here's added value: The book is crammed with all sorts of literary and historical allusions, pop-culture references and good old-fashioned trivia . . . ."

In short, Whore Stories is a very Good Read.

[Carter · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a quick read, very entertaining. Tyler Stoddard Smith's writing style is characterized by witty humor and intellect. He is direct and keeps the entries for each person short and to-the-point. But don't think this means the content is lacking. Quite the opposite, Smith made sure to include only the most interesting, fascinating, bizarre, and sometimes squeamish details of each person's story. It was a very enjoyable read and I'd recommend it to anyone looking for something out of the ordinary and yet depicting so much of human history and behavior at the same time.

[Julia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Perfect for someone with a horribly short attention span like me.
Enjoyable read, although nothing groundbreaking.
Not so enjoyable is the use of the word "tranny".

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

*Won through a Goodreads Giveaway*

I stumbled on this book through Goodreads, where the title caught my eye and made me titter. Completely on a whim I entered the Goodreads First Reads contest and, of course, won a copy. I felt obliged to give it a try, especially since the author included a lovely little note and autographed the book and everything. So, blushing madly, I started the read.

The book is composed entirely of little 1 to 2 page mini-biographies of famous ho's. It's completely humorous in nature, and not too naughty (though I wouldn't exactly feel comfortable going out to tea with the bishop after reading it). I'm clearly not in the target market for this book (i.e., people who have actually heard of Heidi Fless or the "Ding Dong Daddy") but I was still able to get a few giggles out of it. I especially enjoyed how I was able to apply my university theatre coursework to it. Many early theatre folk were essentially prostitutes, so I sat up and paid attention to all the bits that mentioned Moliere, Racine, Sturm und Drang, etc.

I enjoyed this book far more for the author's wry writing style and its historical theatre references than for its subject matter, so I really can't speak for its whorishness. All I can say is that if Tyler Stoddard Smith wrote another book on a more wholesome topic, I would certainly give it a try.

[Randall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Readers should know that this is primarily a humor book, not a "history" one--at least not in the conventional sense. It's a bunch of basically accurate biographies, most of which are funny, and all of which are cleverly written. The title of the book is misleading. It should be something like "Whore Stories: A Humorous Look the World's Oldest Profession." This would clear matters up. The publisher's description of the book on various websites and on the back cover is pretty worthless, but the book itself is a great read. It's not only funny, it's also sophisticated, with lots of philosophical and literary in-jokes. There are no "stupid" jokes in it, and the book doesn't "belittle" anyone (at least not anyone whose behavior hasn't already belittled them). Let's loosen up a bit here. Facts are facts and funny is funny.

[BookOfCinz · Rating 3 out of 5]

I saw this on my Goodreads timeline and the name drew me in. I figured I would give it a good, take a break from my usual reads. I must say this was an interesting read, I learned a few new things. I would have preferred if the stories were just a little entertaining but overall an interesting read.

[Marisa (Berman) Hollywood, Ph.D. · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a fun collection of historical antidotes on the not so secret lives of 'whores.' Humorous and entertaining. Well organized bibliography separated by 'whore.' I enjoy writing this review because I can use the term 'whore' and it's appropriate. So thanks for that.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book I've read all year

Best book I've read all year

not a single dull paragraph. I heart you,Tyler! a book that combines fascinating history and tongue in cheek witty humor? very adult. very risque. very fun. devoured it in afternoon, and want more. bravo.

[Robert Breeze · Rating 5 out of 5]

Terrific Storytelling Makes This Enjoyable

Tyler Stoddard Smith is a funny writer. This highly researched and very long book might have been dull and boring in spite of the subject matter, but the writer's humor makes it a fun read.

[Annette · Rating 5 out of 5]

loved this book. amazing stories.

[Natalia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't find many books funny, so I was super shocked at this one. Super informative while being witty and clever. Nice!

[Kim · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’d picked this up thinking it was a history of prostitution - and it is most definitely not. “Irreverent” is a good way to describe it, mixing contemporary pimps and prostitutes with historical ones. The stories are…salacious, and in the case of historical figures, offers very little nuance or understanding of the figures other than “isn’t being a prostitute so much fun?!“ which…uh, okay. In particular the story of Valeria Messalina, wife of Claudius, definitely seems ripped from historical tabloids and more than content to keep her portrayed as a nymphomaniac.

Frivolous, tongue in cheek, and maybe good for random trivia. Although the author does mention Marvin Zindler, and as someone who grew up being haunter by finding slime in the ice machine, that’s worth something.

[Ashley Clifford]

This type of humor is only funny if you’re good at it. This author, is not. This book would have been better written by just about anyone else. It comes across disrespectful and highly misogynistic and even misandrist, when supposedly the author has respect for working ladies and men. The passage about Marilyn Monroe, among others, is disgusting in the way the author writes about her.

Interesting stories, repulsive author.

I see in their resume on the back of the book that they wrote for VICE, and that explains a lot.

[Evia Ballav · Rating 4 out of 5]

The writing style is really engaging and empathic, the pun, sarcasm and humour are also top notch. The historical anecdotes used in the mini-bios are also good. But there isn't a single thing that I can see myself remembering or recounting in the long run. The descriptive techniques and flippancy got to me and kept me reading this but I would not recommend this book for a hardcore history enthusiast or someone interested in prostitution and/or sex for academic purpose.

[James Crawford · Rating 2 out of 5]

As you can guess from the title this is a book about people, both men and women, who have been prostitutes. This covers people in that occupation not just relatively recently but way back in time to 469 B.C. or earlier.

The book covers their names and where they 'worked.' There's also a short biography/essay about each person. It's kind of interesting but nothing really that significant.

[Amber Ray · Rating 1 out of 5]

A lot of very brief stories, many feel incomplete or halfhearted. The writing is not that good either....very often it's exceedingly snarky and flippant...it got in the way of the material quite often for me.

[Shanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is a good intro to looking at sex work and bills itself as "irreverant" - but it comes off more as condescending. The author uses terms that are patronizing and demeaning of these folks that built his book -eg tranny, prosties

[Jim Simmons · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting book

It was an interesting book, but one that I would not wholly recommend. Written somewhat poorly and certainly one man's opinion of what he thinks with some investication on his own.

[Callie W · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you're interested in something like this it's a quick read and it's pretty informative. I read it out of curiosity.

[Tricia Toney · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very funny and entertaining.

[Mick Meyers · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of those books that give a good overview on some infamous people that you could use as a reference for further reading.written with the right amount of irony as to not make it a too heavy a read.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun, informative read. The author's choice of words had me giggling.

[Rachel Pilato · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 🌟

[Celene Swagler · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a delight! Quick, easy read but full of info and lots of laughs.

[Adli · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was beyond excited about this book. I have a massive interest on history, obviously I am intrigue to know about the history about prostitution. No matter in which part of history you are reading (okay, I’m not sure about prehistoric ages, but hey, how can you be so sure, right?), there’s always a mention of prostitution. To look into the history of the world’s oldest profession is something you would not past up, right? Well, I was excited only to get disappointed halfway through the book, because I don’t feel like I’m getting the history of PROSTITUTION itself, and more into several names of people who are dabbing into the profession itself. So, it was a solid okay for me.

The good
This book was so funny. It was so effortlessly funny, I feel like I was having a close friend reading it inside my head. And honestly when you’re reading something about prostitution, you would want to have it all told in a way that is funny without being condescending or a know-it-all, wouldn’t you?

The bad
After awhile it gets quite boring, because it was just series of titbits or trivias about famous people (or not so famous people, but pretty famous in their line of work). You enjoy the light tone of the book, but after series of names and a glimpse of their histories, you want to know more than just names and events, wouldn’t you?

The ugly
The outline of the book was a recipe for boredom. Honestly. I honestly gave the book up two chapters before it ends. I felt like I wasn’t going to get anything specific or fun anymore apart from, again, titbits and names and events and the whole enchilada that I’ve been getting from the first chapter.

[Lynette Lark · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really funny. Totally unexpected people. Take Nancy Reagan, for example.