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Slim: Memories of a Rich and Imperfect Life by Slim Keith
The California beauty who became America'a quintessential socialite recounts her life in the social circles of Hollywood and Broadway
Hardcover
First published July 1, 1990
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
April 6, 2010
This was a surprisingly quick, entertaining, lovely read. I have know about Slim Keith for years, as a glamorous woman who was married to the film director Howard Hawks, as well as Hollywood agent Leland Hayward. I was prompted to read her autobiography when she was mentioned as a style icon to designer Jenna Lyons, of J. Crew.
Lady Keith comes across as a warm, accessible, humble woman. She makes no pretense to having anything other than a fabulous sense of style, and sheer luck to her credit. That she was great friends with the likes of Ernest Hemingway, Lauren Bacall ( Betty, to her friends ), Babe Paley, Truman Capote, Gary Cooper, and - my personal hero - Cary Grant.
She was obviously possessing of a great wisdom, as evidenced in her dealings with the difficulties of her emotionally disturbed stepchildren by second husband Leland Hayward. She describes having true love for them as beautiful, intelligent children whose needs were beyond the scope of her capabilities. Rather than ignore them, or pass them off to others, she insisted on the investment of time for them to be seen by mental health professionals. I think this one thing impressed me more than a lot of things I read of her life.
This book is out of print. Search your local public library.
Lady Keith comes across as a warm, accessible, humble woman. She makes no pretense to having anything other than a fabulous sense of style, and sheer luck to her credit. That she was great friends with the likes of Ernest Hemingway, Lauren Bacall ( Betty, to her friends ), Babe Paley, Truman Capote, Gary Cooper, and - my personal hero - Cary Grant.
She was obviously possessing of a great wisdom, as evidenced in her dealings with the difficulties of her emotionally disturbed stepchildren by second husband Leland Hayward. She describes having true love for them as beautiful, intelligent children whose needs were beyond the scope of her capabilities. Rather than ignore them, or pass them off to others, she insisted on the investment of time for them to be seen by mental health professionals. I think this one thing impressed me more than a lot of things I read of her life.
This book is out of print. Search your local public library.
October 10, 2014
Love, love, love. Quick, entertaining read about a woman who, by way of her style & wit & ability to attract powerful men, became a member of the jet set. She writes at the very beginning of the memoir that she doesn't plan to have it published until she is dead and even then she has no intention to write a tell-all, quoting Voltaire "The secret of being boring is to say everything." Oh, if only current reality stars would take heed of this. So I did not go into this book thinking I'd get a blow-by-blow of her life.
It's ok that she doesn't get terribly specific about her lovers or her marriages or her relationships with her kids. Slim has enough amusing anecdotes to fill a book - and so she did. I think one of my favorite stories was when she almost shot Hemingway when they were out hunting. She was, like a normal person, extremely upset that she'd almost shot someone. Hemingway tried to comfort her, joking "Just think, you were almost famous! You'd be the woman who killed Hemingway!"
Her chapter about her friendship with Truman Capote included a telling bit about Truman confessing to her how he knew what a freak people found him so he embraced it, acting campy and making people laugh so they'd be laughing with him, not at him. Very sad. Very self-aware. Slim could have had a really deep, meaningful conversation with him after that opener but she dismissed him, saying "No, no, we love you. People don't do that etc" and then admitting to the reader that they did, in fact, treat him that way. Hmmm. Would he still have written that tell-all story for Vanity Fair if she'd opened up to him that night?
As someone who has read memoirs and biographies of a lot - a lot! - of the people she writes about in the book, I found it fascinating to read about her perception of them and their activities. If you read enough stories of the same events, you can start to gather what really happened, to a certain degree. Also, you can fill in the back-story, as it were, and that adds to the reading of her memoir.
I can't imagine someone who isn't interested in this era and this group of people finding this book interesting in the slightest. They'd probably have no idea who and what Slim was talking about most of the time. But if you do have an interest in the film industry and the theater and the jet set of the 30s-70's, then this memoir is right up your alley.
It's ok that she doesn't get terribly specific about her lovers or her marriages or her relationships with her kids. Slim has enough amusing anecdotes to fill a book - and so she did. I think one of my favorite stories was when she almost shot Hemingway when they were out hunting. She was, like a normal person, extremely upset that she'd almost shot someone. Hemingway tried to comfort her, joking "Just think, you were almost famous! You'd be the woman who killed Hemingway!"
Her chapter about her friendship with Truman Capote included a telling bit about Truman confessing to her how he knew what a freak people found him so he embraced it, acting campy and making people laugh so they'd be laughing with him, not at him. Very sad. Very self-aware. Slim could have had a really deep, meaningful conversation with him after that opener but she dismissed him, saying "No, no, we love you. People don't do that etc" and then admitting to the reader that they did, in fact, treat him that way. Hmmm. Would he still have written that tell-all story for Vanity Fair if she'd opened up to him that night?
As someone who has read memoirs and biographies of a lot - a lot! - of the people she writes about in the book, I found it fascinating to read about her perception of them and their activities. If you read enough stories of the same events, you can start to gather what really happened, to a certain degree. Also, you can fill in the back-story, as it were, and that adds to the reading of her memoir.
I can't imagine someone who isn't interested in this era and this group of people finding this book interesting in the slightest. They'd probably have no idea who and what Slim was talking about most of the time. But if you do have an interest in the film industry and the theater and the jet set of the 30s-70's, then this memoir is right up your alley.
July 30, 2008
The subject of this memoir is often considered the real-life model for the smart-mouthed, sophisticated beauty often played on screen by Lauren Bacall. Slim Keith tells her glamorous life story candidly and with a refreshing perspective.
Prior to her death I frequently saw her photo (as an anything-but-glamorous older woman) in fashion-oriented society columns and was curious. What was it about this woman that she was always in the "right place," with all the beautiful people, and being photographed to boot. This book answers that question.
Prior to her death I frequently saw her photo (as an anything-but-glamorous older woman) in fashion-oriented society columns and was curious. What was it about this woman that she was always in the "right place," with all the beautiful people, and being photographed to boot. This book answers that question.
October 26, 2008
This woman reminded me of Bianca Jagger. Noted for her beauty and attraction to men, Slim Keith did not really seem to have much else to offer. She chummed around with Ernest Hemingway and Truman Capote. She lived a self absorbed life. A little of her goes a long way.
December 20, 2016
We won't see their like again.
August 26, 2013
IQ "God blessed me with a happy spirit and many other gifts. What I was not blessed with I went out and got. Sometimes the price was too high, but I have never been much of a bargain hunter", pg. 307
I expected more of Nancy 'Slim' Keith's much revered wit to shine through in he autobiography but tales of her trademark wit were either greatly exaggerated or she toned it down considerably for her memoir. I didn't realize her life was so 'scandalous' until I read more about her on Wikipedia. I've wanted to read this memoir since I read that Lauren Bacall's character in TO HAVE AND HAVE NOT is based largely on Slim (then Hawks) Keith. She does talk about that but even then I thought she could have provided more information about the making of the movie and/or how she and Lauren Bacall grew so close. Although what information I still wanted I couldn't say. It just seemed like each chapter provided soundbites and nothing more. I think if she had provided more examples of her wit and intelligence I would have seen the resemblance between her and Slim Marie from TO HAVE AND HAVE NOT but instead we get the story of how she discovered Bacall and that a few of Slim Keith's real quips were lines used in the movie (such as the famous line about whistling) but she disappointed me by not including context of when she herself used those lines. I also have to admit, its hard to read about a young woman whose so unapologetic about not graduating high school or ever considering college. Granted she seemed well-read but she has no qualms admitting that she never wanted to work, she wanted a wealthy husband to provide her, nothing more, nothing less. She doesn't even talk about any philanthropic work she might have been involved in.
I did appreciate all the name-dropping she did, she provides an excellent first hand perspective of many famous names from Hemingway to Jerome Robbins to Hemingway's fourth wife, Mary (who seems like a crazy woman not gonna lie) to New York socialites like Babe Paley, her best friend. I had read somewhere that she had a 1 night stand with Frank Sinatra and she doesn't mention that but she does tell one heartbreaking story about Frank Sinatra that is devastating in describing his good intentions but poor followthrough. Likewise she shares stories about Clark Gable but does not admit to having an affair with him. But in the end she admits she left out certain details. Ultimately I appreciated her honesty regarding her husbands; she loved Howard Hawks, was in love with Leland Hayward and was not in love with Sir Kenneth Keith. She is remarkably candid about the pain she felt when Leland left her which I found refreshing as opposed to her trying to be all strong all the time. But I think her life was too frustrating for me to read because it was so privileged and she didn't seem to do much with that privilege except care for her stepchildren (which is something. She seemed to genuinely care for her own child and her husbands other children) and due to her rather remarkable rise from a less than stellar home life (and her mother was at her beck and call which was just weird. She said her family wasn't wealthy so I didn't get how her mother could just move around with her).
Another favorite quote: "Regrets? What I regret are the things I didn't do and the people I missed. I regret not going to Africa with Ernest Hemingway when I could have. I wish I had known Willa Cather and Edith Wharton. I would love to have had lunch at the Algonquin Round Table once and heard Dorothy Parker throw a line or two in person. And I regret not hearing a Toscanini performance" (pg. 307). I wish that Slim Keith had shown through more because those are some great regrets to have.
"My life has been a feast, and I don't intend to push back my chair just yet", pg. 308. She's basically quoting Auntie Mame which is a win.
I expected more of Nancy 'Slim' Keith's much revered wit to shine through in he autobiography but tales of her trademark wit were either greatly exaggerated or she toned it down considerably for her memoir. I didn't realize her life was so 'scandalous' until I read more about her on Wikipedia. I've wanted to read this memoir since I read that Lauren Bacall's character in TO HAVE AND HAVE NOT is based largely on Slim (then Hawks) Keith. She does talk about that but even then I thought she could have provided more information about the making of the movie and/or how she and Lauren Bacall grew so close. Although what information I still wanted I couldn't say. It just seemed like each chapter provided soundbites and nothing more. I think if she had provided more examples of her wit and intelligence I would have seen the resemblance between her and Slim Marie from TO HAVE AND HAVE NOT but instead we get the story of how she discovered Bacall and that a few of Slim Keith's real quips were lines used in the movie (such as the famous line about whistling) but she disappointed me by not including context of when she herself used those lines. I also have to admit, its hard to read about a young woman whose so unapologetic about not graduating high school or ever considering college. Granted she seemed well-read but she has no qualms admitting that she never wanted to work, she wanted a wealthy husband to provide her, nothing more, nothing less. She doesn't even talk about any philanthropic work she might have been involved in.
I did appreciate all the name-dropping she did, she provides an excellent first hand perspective of many famous names from Hemingway to Jerome Robbins to Hemingway's fourth wife, Mary (who seems like a crazy woman not gonna lie) to New York socialites like Babe Paley, her best friend. I had read somewhere that she had a 1 night stand with Frank Sinatra and she doesn't mention that but she does tell one heartbreaking story about Frank Sinatra that is devastating in describing his good intentions but poor followthrough. Likewise she shares stories about Clark Gable but does not admit to having an affair with him. But in the end she admits she left out certain details. Ultimately I appreciated her honesty regarding her husbands; she loved Howard Hawks, was in love with Leland Hayward and was not in love with Sir Kenneth Keith. She is remarkably candid about the pain she felt when Leland left her which I found refreshing as opposed to her trying to be all strong all the time. But I think her life was too frustrating for me to read because it was so privileged and she didn't seem to do much with that privilege except care for her stepchildren (which is something. She seemed to genuinely care for her own child and her husbands other children) and due to her rather remarkable rise from a less than stellar home life (and her mother was at her beck and call which was just weird. She said her family wasn't wealthy so I didn't get how her mother could just move around with her).
Another favorite quote: "Regrets? What I regret are the things I didn't do and the people I missed. I regret not going to Africa with Ernest Hemingway when I could have. I wish I had known Willa Cather and Edith Wharton. I would love to have had lunch at the Algonquin Round Table once and heard Dorothy Parker throw a line or two in person. And I regret not hearing a Toscanini performance" (pg. 307). I wish that Slim Keith had shown through more because those are some great regrets to have.
"My life has been a feast, and I don't intend to push back my chair just yet", pg. 308. She's basically quoting Auntie Mame which is a win.
January 3, 2013
For old-movie buffs, this backstage look at the incredible life of Slim Keith is as good as it gets. Slim rose from nothing to become the wife of one of old Hollywood's most prolific directors, only to leave him for one of Hollywood AND Broadway's most prolific producers. Along the way she became BFFs with luminaries such as Lauren Bacall, Ernest Hemingway, and Truman Capote. The name-dropping is second-to-none, but incredibly, she expects you to feel sorry for her after her second husband leaves her for another woman even though she stole him from another wife to begin with. The final parts of the book involving her marriage to a British financier are quite boring - she should have stopped while she was young and hobnobbing with the famous. It can also get a little grating how often she brags about who was in love with her. Worst of all, I found it impossible to sympathize with a woman who takes off to New York, Nassau, and then Hemingway's Cuba immediately after the birth of her daughter because she needed some alone time. But hey, all of that stuff is part of why her life was so interesting in the first place.
February 2, 2019
Overall interesting read but found her memoir to cursory. She did not go deep and painters herself always in a favorable light. Found the part about living in England the most interesting.
January 19, 2012
Famous for her style, her husbands, and her friends, Slim Keith (maiden name Nancy Gross)shares highlights and lowlights of her life in this intriguing, easy-to-read autobiography.
If you're interested at all in showbiz during the 30's to 60's, you'll enjoy this behind the scenes look. Slim was married first to Howard Hawks, top movie producer of his time, then to Leland Hayward, the first (and one of the best) Hollywood agent, and then to a titled Englishmen with the last name Keith. She's honest about her marriages--how they started, why they happened, and how they ended--and the honesty makes her sympathetic.
Also, Slim discusses her relationships as close friends of Ernest Hemingway and of Truman Capote. Enlightening details!
While I enjoyed the book and was struck by differences in today's world vs. the thirties and forties, Slim's attitude toward fidelity turned me off. Still, it's worth the read.
If you're interested at all in showbiz during the 30's to 60's, you'll enjoy this behind the scenes look. Slim was married first to Howard Hawks, top movie producer of his time, then to Leland Hayward, the first (and one of the best) Hollywood agent, and then to a titled Englishmen with the last name Keith. She's honest about her marriages--how they started, why they happened, and how they ended--and the honesty makes her sympathetic.
Also, Slim discusses her relationships as close friends of Ernest Hemingway and of Truman Capote. Enlightening details!
While I enjoyed the book and was struck by differences in today's world vs. the thirties and forties, Slim's attitude toward fidelity turned me off. Still, it's worth the read.
March 31, 2016
Good one for movie buffs.A fascinating inside look at that life style of the rich and famous most us will never experience. Slim Keith, on who the Lauren Bacall (a good friend of Slim's) character "You know how to whistle don't you?"in the old Bogart movie To Have and Have Not was based, got to know everyone who was anyone at the time but I was especially interested in her insights into one of my all time favorite authors Ernest Hemingway. In fact I wrote and published a non-fiction journal of a post-graduate trip I took to Europe in 1972, the itinerary inspired by novel The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway. It describes the adventures of two American girls discovering London, Paris, Pamploma, Madrid, Malaga, Biarritz and Switzerland (a lot of the places Lady Keith mentions in her book)called "Linda and Karen's Great European Adventure". A fun read I hope. Lifestyles of the broke and adventurous.
July 23, 2017
A slim and imperfect book but serves its purpose to entertain.
May 29, 2024
'There was one other memorable event in 1941 aside from Pearl Harbor: Howard got his divorce.' That line completely cracked me up. Howard was Howard Hawks, the classic Hollywood director, producer and screenwriter who would soon be the first of three husbands for Miss Nancy Gross...rightly nicknamed 'Slim'. Reading Slim's memoirs was like eaves dropping on a fabulous cocktail party complete with clinking martini glasses, cigarette smoke and engaging conversation. Not only was Slim, the quintessential 'California Girl', but she epitomized American classic style. She was tall, blonde, athletic, beautiful, competitive and sharp as hell. She was the proverbial 'woman before her time' as I am sure she would have been equally as successful in the film industry as her two Hollywood husbands if the times had been ready for her feminine bravura. As it was...she could turn the heads of Hollywood heartthrobs like Clark Gable and hold her own in conversation with brilliant minds like Ernest Hemingway. She definitely had a good time and seemed to be fairly honest about her strengths and weaknesses. The book may have benefited from some additional editing as sometimes timelines seemed a bit disjointed and I got the sense that some chapters were written a little on the fly. Regardless, it was an interesting read.
October 28, 2025
I am very glad I picked this book back up…. Slim has lived such a rich and fabulous life and not even speaking in financial status. A very free spirited woman is a traditional fabulous sense, very inspiring. I would definitely read this again at a later point in my life.
April 23, 2019
I am always fascinated by this era and enjoyed the book although it was slow at times.
August 30, 2020
One of Capote's "swans," she was quite fascinating.
May 14, 2022
I don't know why I finished this. I'm not sure it was worth reading.
August 19, 2024
an interesting read after watching a series about Truman. She discusses some of the same things that happened in the series and her marriages, etc
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October 17, 2024Another view into a world I don't inhabit.
February 28, 2025
Never dull. Interesting entertainment. A life full of lightening strikes. Recommend.
August 19, 2025
An interesting life told honestly. Lots of old Hollywood and society behind the scenes information from someone who saw and experienced it with them.
September 3, 2016
I actually never finished this book because I realized about halfway through it that I was bored. Slim Keith was clearly a smart, stylish, and interesting person, and I took a voyeuristic pleasure in perusing the plentiful black and white photos chronicling her life, but her book is an egotistical slog through her multiple marriages and multitudinous flirtations, with the added irritation of realizing (at one point she came right out and said it) that the the woman never worked a day in her life, a life which, apparently, was entirely devoted to leisure and fulfilling her own desires. I am the last person to judge a fellow woman for wanting to be a complete human being separate from her identity as a mother, but Slim lost me completely at the point when she gave birth and immediately took a three month vacation (without her baby) to recover from her loveless marriage. I realize that Slim Keith lived in a different time and different socio-economic stratum than I do; perhaps that is why I simply couldn't manage to relate to her on any level. I came close when she flitted around the edges of a family tragedy that occurred early in her life, but she never delved deeply enough into the emotional consequences to hook me. I guess that's what this book really lacked for me - emotion.
September 22, 2016
I searched out this rather old book after reading The Swans of New York and becoming mesmerized by some of the main characters in it (based on real people). This autobiography of Slim Hawks-Hayward-Keith, or “Big Mama,” as Truman Capote referred to her, drew my attention. It was an OK read but very superficial. She wrote the book in collaboration with someone else and you get the feeling she was dictating it to the primary writer, Annette Tapert. She talked in depth about some subjects and totally glossed over others. Nonetheless, the lady had a fascinating life.
August 4, 2012
Ultimately, an enjoyable and fun read. I loved hearing about her friendships with the rich and fanous and was fascinated by her relationship with Hemingway. I found the last part of the book about her life at an English country manor especially captivating. I might have found her to be a shallow person except that she plainly loved and cherished all the children and step children in her life and the admiration seemed mutual.
A good, breezy read.
A good, breezy read.
August 30, 2009
This was the first biography I ever read. I was 14 years old and it inspired me. I must re-read it some day. This is my fav kind of celebraty autobio. It is a not so famous person that was friends with lots of famous people. I love that point of view... Just re-read this book and I totally get why I loved it. It is so nice when things live up to your memories.
February 16, 2012
Slim Keith's memoir is packed with little details about the bold-faced names and rarefied circles of yesteryear - everything from reading scripts in Hollywood to the elaborate preparations for a shooting party in England. She manages to walk the fine line between her ease and familiarity with this world and self awareness that hers was an unusual lifestyle. Well played Lady Keith.
May 21, 2016
The fictional account of Slim Keith in The Swans of Fifth Avenue wasn't very flattering. Her memoir, of course, paints a different picture. Fascinating life and, for the most part, led on her own terms--traveling with Cary Grant, hunting with Hemingway, serving as a role model to Lauren Bacall. A compelling read.
June 19, 2009
Loved it!
August 6, 2014
The beautiful people.
February 20, 2013
Very interesting
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews