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On the Outside Looking Indian: How My Second Childhood Changed My Life
A memoir of a young woman, the product of a strict upbringing by conservative Indian parents, who decides to go on a Ram-Singha, her Indian version of the rumspringa, and learns how to dance, swim, drive, travel, and play in order to be happy.
Rupinder Gill was raised under the strict rules of her parents' Indian upbringing. While her friends were practicing their pliés, having slumber parties, and spending their summers at camp, Rupinder was cleaning, babysitting her siblings, and watching hours on end of American television. But at age 30, Rupinder realized how much she regretted her lack of childhood adventure.
Stepping away from an orderly life of tradition, Rupinder set put to finally experience the things she missed out on. From learning to swim and taking dance lessons, to going to Disney World, her growing to-do list soon became the ultimate trip down non-memory lane. What began as a desire to experience all that had been denied to her leads to a discovery of what it means to be happy, and the important lessons that are learned when we are at play. Reminiscent of Mindy Kaling, this is a warm funny memoir of the daughter of Indian immigrants learning to break free and find her own path.
Rupinder Gill was raised under the strict rules of her parents' Indian upbringing. While her friends were practicing their pliés, having slumber parties, and spending their summers at camp, Rupinder was cleaning, babysitting her siblings, and watching hours on end of American television. But at age 30, Rupinder realized how much she regretted her lack of childhood adventure.
Stepping away from an orderly life of tradition, Rupinder set put to finally experience the things she missed out on. From learning to swim and taking dance lessons, to going to Disney World, her growing to-do list soon became the ultimate trip down non-memory lane. What began as a desire to experience all that had been denied to her leads to a discovery of what it means to be happy, and the important lessons that are learned when we are at play. Reminiscent of Mindy Kaling, this is a warm funny memoir of the daughter of Indian immigrants learning to break free and find her own path.
288 pages, Paperback
First published March 22, 2011
26 people are currently reading
1263 people want to read
About the author
Rupinder Gill
2 books14 followersAfter graduating high school as the class valedictorian,
Rupinder studied Arts at the University of Toronto then moved back into her parents’ basement for a year. Her first book, On The Outside Looking Indian, was released in March 2011 and was shortlisted for the Stephen Leacock Memorial Medal for humour writing. She has also written for The National Post, McSweeneys, CBC Radio and This Hour Has 22 Minutes.
In her spare time, Rupinder enjoys overeating and watching lots of television, preferably at once. If she could host a dream dinner party, it would include Woody Allen, Bea Arthur and John Ritter. If she could only take one thing to a desert island, it would be a yacht.
She is currently working on a new book.
Rupinder studied Arts at the University of Toronto then moved back into her parents’ basement for a year. Her first book, On The Outside Looking Indian, was released in March 2011 and was shortlisted for the Stephen Leacock Memorial Medal for humour writing. She has also written for The National Post, McSweeneys, CBC Radio and This Hour Has 22 Minutes.
In her spare time, Rupinder enjoys overeating and watching lots of television, preferably at once. If she could host a dream dinner party, it would include Woody Allen, Bea Arthur and John Ritter. If she could only take one thing to a desert island, it would be a yacht.
She is currently working on a new book.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 104 reviews
February 18, 2019
When I came across Rupinder Gill's On the Outside Looking Indian at the McMaster University bookstore about four or so years ago, I immediately purchased a copy (as I tend to very much enjoy memoirs, and this offering also seemed to promise a both fun and enlightening sojourn into Ms. Gill's childhood and adulthood, and how as an adult, she decided to relive, no actually, to first experience many of the childhood scenarios and joys that were basically denied to her by her strict East-Indian culture and family obligations).
However, I have become lastingly and with much frustration bogged down at the end of the first chapter, and no, not because of complicated syntax, word-building and vocabulary choices, but simply because I was (and yes, still massively remain) ANGRY to the point of wanting throw the book across the room and stomping on it repeatedly (and while I have not actually stomped on On the Outside Looking Indian, the feeling and even the desire to do so still persist).
On the Outside Looking Indian is very obviously originally (and with that I mean during the author's childhood) primarily set in the southern Ontario twin cities of Kitchener-Waterloo, and while I do feel for the fact that Rupinder Gill, was seemingly often bullied at school, as a person of German origin (who herself was relentlessly attacked and condemned as a young immigrant to Canada, and repeatedly called a Nazi by both fellow students and at times even, more slyly, certain teachers) I cannot and will not accept the not only pointed but also ignorant and despicably hateful words the author spews on pages twenty-three and twenty-five. Now I actually more than well understand that Rupinder Gill is justifiably annoyed when a very Northwestern European looking classmate makes fun of an East Indian delicacy called barfi she is eating at school, but why does she describe him or her as a perfect specimen of the Aryan race? First of all, the word Aryan is problematic in and of itself and was horribly and wrongfully MISUED by the Nazis (and others) to describe Northern and Western European ethnicity and supposed superiority (as Aryan actually describes NOT Northern or Western Europeans but rather the Indo-Persian connection of the Indo-European diaspora, and thus, if Rupinder Gill's mother tongue is Hindi, Urdu or ANY of the Indo-European based languages of the Indian subcontinent, the word Aryan would and should rightfully describe her OWN cultural and linguistic background and not Northern or Western European ethnicity and heritage).
Furthermore, the author almost makes it seem as though she is the only one to have ever been harassed at school because she is eating ethnic (and to her classmates) strange and unusual food items. Sorry, Rupinder, but this has happened to many immigrants (and I, myself, was given the Nazi salute by a grade eight classmate the time I brought some typical German food fare and a German novel to school). It goes both ways, and while I can (as a person who has also been sneered at for my ethnic food choices) certainly commiserate to a point, that possible commiseration begins to seriously and painfully break and fray at and because of that silly "Aryan" barb (and has remained thus cracked). And indeed the latter (any possible commiseration I might have felt) then completely and utterly dissipates for me and in fact opens into a huge and gaping (and still existing, festering) wound of sadness, anger and yes, even massive rage when on page twenty-five of On the Outside Looking Indian, Rupinder Gill makes a more than problematic comment about how during the Kitchener-Waterloo Oktoberfest (which is the second largest such celebration in the world and where school kids are I guess encouraged to wear traditional ethnic garb to class) the students of German origin and heritage (Kitchener-Waterloo has a very high percentage of German background and ethnicity amongst its residents) should have been wearing their SS (read their Nazi) uniforms.
Now aside from the fact that this comment is basically total bigotry par excellence, and in my humble opinion also absolutely outs Rupinder Gill as one of these ignoramuses who somehow believes that if one is of German background, one must by necessity also be a Nazi or at least have Nazi-like tendencies, Germany, like other countries, has a multitude of different traditional costumes and garbs (and SS uniforms are definitely NOT a typical traditional German ethnic costume, no matter what the bigots and the naively stupidly blinkered might claim otherwise). And yes, at that point, I have to admit that I both started to tear up with rage and anger, threw On the Outside Looking Indian across the room and stopped reading (I also seriously considered writing a lengthy letter of protest to Rupinder Gill herself, but then decided it was not really worth my time, and I honestly also did not want to stir up any controversies and issues and get involved in an argument that I might well lose simply because there are still far too many people in Canada who have the "all Germans are Nazis" worldview).
Now while I am perhaps not quite as angry anymore as I was when I first tried to peruse the book (in 2016), I am still not really willing to either forgive or forget, and as such, I am definitely ranking On the Outside Looking Indian with but one star (but with the knowledge and the caveat that if I ever do consider finishing this tome, my ranking might well rise to a high two star rating, provided the remaining chapters manage to hold my interest and that there are NO MORE such insults against ALL Germans, as unilaterally calling Germans or people of German origin Nazis or even hinting at this, simply because of one's ethnicity as a German, is and remains absolutely unacceptable to and for me, and especially in recent, in 20th and 21st century offerings that are not historical or set in the time of the Third Reich). And yes, I do feel very slightly guilty about reviewing On the Outside Looking Indian when I have only managed to peruse the first chapter, but I have to do something with my remaining and lasting anger and rage with regard to said first chapter, and this is it for me, a review that while from the depths of my heart and yes, very harsh, is in my opinion also at least somewhat a more than well justified and necessary criticism.
However, I have become lastingly and with much frustration bogged down at the end of the first chapter, and no, not because of complicated syntax, word-building and vocabulary choices, but simply because I was (and yes, still massively remain) ANGRY to the point of wanting throw the book across the room and stomping on it repeatedly (and while I have not actually stomped on On the Outside Looking Indian, the feeling and even the desire to do so still persist).
On the Outside Looking Indian is very obviously originally (and with that I mean during the author's childhood) primarily set in the southern Ontario twin cities of Kitchener-Waterloo, and while I do feel for the fact that Rupinder Gill, was seemingly often bullied at school, as a person of German origin (who herself was relentlessly attacked and condemned as a young immigrant to Canada, and repeatedly called a Nazi by both fellow students and at times even, more slyly, certain teachers) I cannot and will not accept the not only pointed but also ignorant and despicably hateful words the author spews on pages twenty-three and twenty-five. Now I actually more than well understand that Rupinder Gill is justifiably annoyed when a very Northwestern European looking classmate makes fun of an East Indian delicacy called barfi she is eating at school, but why does she describe him or her as a perfect specimen of the Aryan race? First of all, the word Aryan is problematic in and of itself and was horribly and wrongfully MISUED by the Nazis (and others) to describe Northern and Western European ethnicity and supposed superiority (as Aryan actually describes NOT Northern or Western Europeans but rather the Indo-Persian connection of the Indo-European diaspora, and thus, if Rupinder Gill's mother tongue is Hindi, Urdu or ANY of the Indo-European based languages of the Indian subcontinent, the word Aryan would and should rightfully describe her OWN cultural and linguistic background and not Northern or Western European ethnicity and heritage).
Furthermore, the author almost makes it seem as though she is the only one to have ever been harassed at school because she is eating ethnic (and to her classmates) strange and unusual food items. Sorry, Rupinder, but this has happened to many immigrants (and I, myself, was given the Nazi salute by a grade eight classmate the time I brought some typical German food fare and a German novel to school). It goes both ways, and while I can (as a person who has also been sneered at for my ethnic food choices) certainly commiserate to a point, that possible commiseration begins to seriously and painfully break and fray at and because of that silly "Aryan" barb (and has remained thus cracked). And indeed the latter (any possible commiseration I might have felt) then completely and utterly dissipates for me and in fact opens into a huge and gaping (and still existing, festering) wound of sadness, anger and yes, even massive rage when on page twenty-five of On the Outside Looking Indian, Rupinder Gill makes a more than problematic comment about how during the Kitchener-Waterloo Oktoberfest (which is the second largest such celebration in the world and where school kids are I guess encouraged to wear traditional ethnic garb to class) the students of German origin and heritage (Kitchener-Waterloo has a very high percentage of German background and ethnicity amongst its residents) should have been wearing their SS (read their Nazi) uniforms.
Now aside from the fact that this comment is basically total bigotry par excellence, and in my humble opinion also absolutely outs Rupinder Gill as one of these ignoramuses who somehow believes that if one is of German background, one must by necessity also be a Nazi or at least have Nazi-like tendencies, Germany, like other countries, has a multitude of different traditional costumes and garbs (and SS uniforms are definitely NOT a typical traditional German ethnic costume, no matter what the bigots and the naively stupidly blinkered might claim otherwise). And yes, at that point, I have to admit that I both started to tear up with rage and anger, threw On the Outside Looking Indian across the room and stopped reading (I also seriously considered writing a lengthy letter of protest to Rupinder Gill herself, but then decided it was not really worth my time, and I honestly also did not want to stir up any controversies and issues and get involved in an argument that I might well lose simply because there are still far too many people in Canada who have the "all Germans are Nazis" worldview).
Now while I am perhaps not quite as angry anymore as I was when I first tried to peruse the book (in 2016), I am still not really willing to either forgive or forget, and as such, I am definitely ranking On the Outside Looking Indian with but one star (but with the knowledge and the caveat that if I ever do consider finishing this tome, my ranking might well rise to a high two star rating, provided the remaining chapters manage to hold my interest and that there are NO MORE such insults against ALL Germans, as unilaterally calling Germans or people of German origin Nazis or even hinting at this, simply because of one's ethnicity as a German, is and remains absolutely unacceptable to and for me, and especially in recent, in 20th and 21st century offerings that are not historical or set in the time of the Third Reich). And yes, I do feel very slightly guilty about reviewing On the Outside Looking Indian when I have only managed to peruse the first chapter, but I have to do something with my remaining and lasting anger and rage with regard to said first chapter, and this is it for me, a review that while from the depths of my heart and yes, very harsh, is in my opinion also at least somewhat a more than well justified and necessary criticism.
August 11, 2012
Being of multi-cultural background myself, I had high hopes for this book. At some point it struck me that this book, at its existential core, is a physical proof of the author's desire to fit in, not a resolution of the need.
The book is a thinly disgused exploitation of 'otherness' (hey, I might look different but yet we are all the same inside!). It does not go much deeper than following the author as she checks off her bucket-list of cliche American activities which she believes will somehow culturally validate her. (wee! I've been to Disney! Now I am *really* American! ) After about the 5th chapter I skimmed to the end hoping for more, but alas, nope.
Instead of showing an in-depth appreciation for the Indian culture in which she was raised, or how her multi-faceted upbringing has informed her experiences and interpretations of what it means to be (one of the multitude of equally valid versions of) American, we are instead left with this shallow exploration of "otherness". It's very apparent that she worships at the altar of one kind of 'American', the kind she feels she is not.
The book is a thinly disgused exploitation of 'otherness' (hey, I might look different but yet we are all the same inside!). It does not go much deeper than following the author as she checks off her bucket-list of cliche American activities which she believes will somehow culturally validate her. (wee! I've been to Disney! Now I am *really* American! ) After about the 5th chapter I skimmed to the end hoping for more, but alas, nope.
Instead of showing an in-depth appreciation for the Indian culture in which she was raised, or how her multi-faceted upbringing has informed her experiences and interpretations of what it means to be (one of the multitude of equally valid versions of) American, we are instead left with this shallow exploration of "otherness". It's very apparent that she worships at the altar of one kind of 'American', the kind she feels she is not.
June 20, 2012
This memoir starts off with an interesting premise: a thirty year old Indian-Canadian resolves to give herself all the experiences her strict parents denied her as a child. The author sets about taking swimming lessons, dancing lessons, having sleepovers, looking into dog ownership, and planning a trip to Disney World. Although the book is meant to be humorous, she tries way too hard to cram in mountains of late 80s/early 90s pop culture references. All this gets a little tiresome. If the author had dialed back the jokes and added more a little more thoughtful introspection, the book would have been more successful.
March 28, 2014
As a white, middle class Canadian, with many privileges, I don't "own" the experiences of children of immigrants. But I have always felt a bond with Indo-Canadian kids, because their home culture is so severe compared to their public school classmates'. My parents were very strict, out of sync with the other families in the neighbourhood, and even stricter than their own parents, and my aunts and uncles. I always felt I had to live up to standards that other kids my age did not, or face my parents' anger and disappointment. Unlike the author of this book, however, I learned by age 13 to live a double life and not tell my parents anything :)
I have read dozens of books and watched dozens of movies about India and Indian immigrants, and in comparison, this one is written with a light touch. The author takes distressing and weighty topics, such as racism and exclusion, and spins them into a humorous memoir. The crux of the tale is that the author feels she missed out on the North American childhood she wanted, so she set herself a series of challenges at age 30 to make up for lost time: going to Disney World, taking dance classes, learning to swim, owning a dog, and more significantly, quitting her job and moving to New York. She makes peace with her past, in her own way, but I was left feeling she has a long road ahead in coming to appreciate her heritage. And I liked that, because people don't wrap up their childhoods and leave them behind at age 20 or 30. You come to a new understanding of your upbringing and your parents' views every few years as you go through more life stages yourself. So the best thing about this book is that it will encourage you to examine your own childhood and how you saw your parents then and now.
I have read dozens of books and watched dozens of movies about India and Indian immigrants, and in comparison, this one is written with a light touch. The author takes distressing and weighty topics, such as racism and exclusion, and spins them into a humorous memoir. The crux of the tale is that the author feels she missed out on the North American childhood she wanted, so she set herself a series of challenges at age 30 to make up for lost time: going to Disney World, taking dance classes, learning to swim, owning a dog, and more significantly, quitting her job and moving to New York. She makes peace with her past, in her own way, but I was left feeling she has a long road ahead in coming to appreciate her heritage. And I liked that, because people don't wrap up their childhoods and leave them behind at age 20 or 30. You come to a new understanding of your upbringing and your parents' views every few years as you go through more life stages yourself. So the best thing about this book is that it will encourage you to examine your own childhood and how you saw your parents then and now.
July 16, 2012
This book had so much potential! Like many first-generation immigrants, Gill wants a modern childhood with summer camp and music lessons, activities deemed luxurious by her Indian parents who recall their own toys made out of mud. As a child, Gill is embarrassed by her parents and their strict rules and, now that she's a adult, Gill seeks to reclaim her lost childhood by doing all the things she was denied - learning to swim and tap dance, having sleepovers, visiting Disney World. The problem is that Gill reflects on her childhood through her now educated and sympathetic adult eyes and this self-awareness leads to a fear of appearing ungrateful for her parents' sacrifices. Gill seems perpetually on the verge of being laugh-out-loud funny but rarely achieves such a level of humor. Still a fun, entertaining read, but I can't help feeling that it could have been so much more.
December 27, 2012
If I could, I would rate this book 2.5 stars.
A few of my friends marked this book as "to read" on Goodreads, and so I decided to check it out from the library this summer. I loved the premise of this book. Gill, a young Indian woman feeling deprived of having a North American childhood while growing up in Canada, decides to spend time in her early 20s doing all of the things typical North American kids do growing up.
I was hoping that this book would be a reflective comparison of the struggles of her Indian upbringing clashing with the culture she was raised in. And in some respects, it was. But for the most part, a lot of the book focused on the large amount of American television she and her siblings watched. It also dabbled in her quarter life crisis, chronicling her decision to move to New York City. While the content of the book was interesting, the chapter titles were clever, and the writing quality was good, it wasn't what I hoped it would be.
I think what disappointed me the most about this book was that I didn't feel the title accurately described the content. I didn't leave feeling that I truly understood the culture clash implied in the title, nor did I feel that I fully grasped how her life was changed. I am always let down when I am intrigued by a book title (which is, honestly, necessary in order to sell books) and left feeling like the content doesn't match the advertising on the dust jacket.
In summary, If you go into this book not expecting much reflection on the culture struggle of being Indian and raised in North American culture, and instead expect some 80s nostalgia and humorous anecdotes from an up-and-coming writer, I think you'll enjoy this book.
A few of my friends marked this book as "to read" on Goodreads, and so I decided to check it out from the library this summer. I loved the premise of this book. Gill, a young Indian woman feeling deprived of having a North American childhood while growing up in Canada, decides to spend time in her early 20s doing all of the things typical North American kids do growing up.
I was hoping that this book would be a reflective comparison of the struggles of her Indian upbringing clashing with the culture she was raised in. And in some respects, it was. But for the most part, a lot of the book focused on the large amount of American television she and her siblings watched. It also dabbled in her quarter life crisis, chronicling her decision to move to New York City. While the content of the book was interesting, the chapter titles were clever, and the writing quality was good, it wasn't what I hoped it would be.
I think what disappointed me the most about this book was that I didn't feel the title accurately described the content. I didn't leave feeling that I truly understood the culture clash implied in the title, nor did I feel that I fully grasped how her life was changed. I am always let down when I am intrigued by a book title (which is, honestly, necessary in order to sell books) and left feeling like the content doesn't match the advertising on the dust jacket.
In summary, If you go into this book not expecting much reflection on the culture struggle of being Indian and raised in North American culture, and instead expect some 80s nostalgia and humorous anecdotes from an up-and-coming writer, I think you'll enjoy this book.
September 6, 2012
Eh. I was disappointed in this one. I've been reading a lot of memoirs lately about people doing crazy things to find themselves or just to have a book topic (The guy who followed the bible ... Wild by Cheryl Strayed..) This one just felt forced. I didn't feel like there was enough background to make me feel invested in the writer before she started on her big adventure. I also felt like it wasn't really on topic with growing up Indian ... she just grew up with strict parents. And the writing style got a little annoying becaues she was trying too hard to be relevant by throwing in every pop culture reference she could think of. Just didn't really get the point in the end .. None of the things she accomplished were huge and her biggest accomplishment was to just stop letting life happen to her and make it happen instead. But there was no real confirmation or follow throug on that. Here's hoping... I'm giving her 3 stars though because I feel like 2 starts is harsh and it was an easy read. It wasn't like I struggled to get through it and there were certainly things I laughed at or related to. Just wasn't what I expected/hoped for.
April 9, 2012
Let me start by repeating what everyone else has already said: the book is about the author’s New Year’s resolution to make up for her lost childhood. Just the fact that she actually sticks to it and does not abandon it after the very first week should qualify the book as science fiction, because isn’t abandonment a default, customary outcome for a New Year’s resolution?
Anyway:
The Good: 1. The book is indeed laugh out loud funny, in a Tina Fay-esque way. 2. She had a resolution and followed through. That’s inspiring.
The Bad: At the end of her journey, did she ever acknowledge that thanks to her parents’ sacrifices, she had a happy, safe childhood, and that the mystical perfect childhood that’s he was after is a tale that no one has ever experienced the way she imagined it? No. So, yes, she comes out of the experience smarter and able to swim, but the true lesson learned seems to be lost on her.
PS. I won my review copy on Goodreads.com
Anyway:
The Good: 1. The book is indeed laugh out loud funny, in a Tina Fay-esque way. 2. She had a resolution and followed through. That’s inspiring.
The Bad: At the end of her journey, did she ever acknowledge that thanks to her parents’ sacrifices, she had a happy, safe childhood, and that the mystical perfect childhood that’s he was after is a tale that no one has ever experienced the way she imagined it? No. So, yes, she comes out of the experience smarter and able to swim, but the true lesson learned seems to be lost on her.
PS. I won my review copy on Goodreads.com
March 4, 2019
I struggled to keep reading, but in the end I'm glad I read this. As the first-born of immigrants myself (white and German), I understood some of her outsider feelings. I finally got my way with swimming lessons after almost drowning one summer. (So embarrassing!) I could go on sleepovers only if I came home by 9 p.m. School dances were not allowed. Clothes were always an issue.
Having too many friends was discouraged. Too much much TV was bad and even reading was seen as a waste of time. On the other hand, housework was seen as never a waste of time. So I 'get' the author's rebellion. Mind you, I never dreamed of Disney anything...and my own three kids were raised without wanting that big trip.
Maybe there was just too much TV in Gill's childhood. In the end, I admired the author's gumption but not the flippant writing style.
Having too many friends was discouraged. Too much much TV was bad and even reading was seen as a waste of time. On the other hand, housework was seen as never a waste of time. So I 'get' the author's rebellion. Mind you, I never dreamed of Disney anything...and my own three kids were raised without wanting that big trip.
Maybe there was just too much TV in Gill's childhood. In the end, I admired the author's gumption but not the flippant writing style.
December 20, 2020
Inspiring, funny, and relatable!
May 17, 2017
Definitely a memoir to skip. I forgot exactly how I came across the book but I was enchanted with the title. With such a play on words it sounded like it would be a hilarious read.
While I do not share the experiences author Gill has I could understand growing up somewhere where you don't look like many other people (although in Gill's case it was more severe) and navigating childhood, growing up and life with parents who did not share or even understand the same experiences. And initially this book was quite charming in that manner: how she spent her summers (vs. how she thought she'd be spending them), the struggles of not fitting in because of the food you bring for lunch, the expectations and limitations placed upon you by your family, etc.
But that wore out remarkably quickly. Honestly, I found the writing disjointed and all over the place. No clear timeline, jumping across subjects, etc. There seemed to be little focus and the author was just dashing off thoughts with little cohesion. This is a story that has been done before by many authors before her, but they've also done it better. Like others I also couldn't connect, never really felt for her even though many of the things she described are experiences I shared too.
It might work for some but not for me. I bought it since my library doesn't have it but I wish I hadn't bothered.
While I do not share the experiences author Gill has I could understand growing up somewhere where you don't look like many other people (although in Gill's case it was more severe) and navigating childhood, growing up and life with parents who did not share or even understand the same experiences. And initially this book was quite charming in that manner: how she spent her summers (vs. how she thought she'd be spending them), the struggles of not fitting in because of the food you bring for lunch, the expectations and limitations placed upon you by your family, etc.
But that wore out remarkably quickly. Honestly, I found the writing disjointed and all over the place. No clear timeline, jumping across subjects, etc. There seemed to be little focus and the author was just dashing off thoughts with little cohesion. This is a story that has been done before by many authors before her, but they've also done it better. Like others I also couldn't connect, never really felt for her even though many of the things she described are experiences I shared too.
It might work for some but not for me. I bought it since my library doesn't have it but I wish I hadn't bothered.
October 14, 2011
The author, an East Indian, looks back on her childhood in Canada where, apart from school, she spent most of her time watching television with her siblings. She was not allowed to play with friends, participate in any extra curricular activities, go to camp, or enjoy any of the activities of her white friends. At the age of thirty, she decided to fulfill the dreams of her childhood and, in doing so, to gain control of her life. One has to admire Rupinder Gill. It takes courage to give up a job, leave family and friends behind, and move to New York. It takes determination to systematically work through her "to do" list. It was also admirable that, as an adult, she fully understood her parents motivations and accepted them.
I enjoyed the humor in the book, but can't say I really enjoyed it. I felt it lacked depth: I never felt deeply involved with the author or her family. Sorry, Rupinder!
I enjoyed the humor in the book, but can't say I really enjoyed it. I felt it lacked depth: I never felt deeply involved with the author or her family. Sorry, Rupinder!
August 14, 2014
Admittedly, I don't read very many autobiographies, but of the ones I've read, this one easily hit home the strongest. As a child of a South Asian immigrant, oh boy do I GET this book. I loved it, I related to the vast majority of the story, from missing out on a childhood to wishing you could have that later in life, to trying to balance two cultures, oh my goodness, I Get it. What a fantastic (and funny!) book. It's really nice to be able to read about the experiences of someone like me in a sea of memoirs by old rich white dudes.
April 15, 2011
This book was hilarious! it's 'eat, pray, love' meets 'my big fat greek wedding'. I love the author's sense of humor, and I think a lot of kids of immigrants (or anyone who felt different as a kid) will really relate to this story. Her decision to go after childhood goals (by ditching a job) was brave.
January 19, 2013
This kept being recommended to me and I really wanted to love it but... it doesn't really go anywhere. I was torn between sympathising with her and thinking she was a spoilt brat in turn, and she didn't really, in my opinion, complete many 'childhood' activities. It seemed to be a lot of talk, not enough action. Not the worst memoir, but definitely not the best.
August 1, 2011
Rupinder Gill is a very funny writer. I had a smile on my face the whole time I was reading and actually laughed out loud several times. While all first generation ethnics have a slightly different experience, she has articulated a number of our truths as well as our parents' truths.
January 3, 2015
3.5 stars
December 18, 2012
Either her point was so obvious I didn't even register it. or it completely escaped me. Not good either way.
January 14, 2018
Interesting premise wherein the author takes a year to accomplish all that she was denied growing up with strict Indian Sikh parents just outside Toronto, Canada. These things include sleepovers, summer camp, driving and swimming. Most of the time, I found the writing uninspiring and trying too hard to be funny. However, it picked up pace and interest after she moved to New York, and faced loneliness and poverty, but also forced herself to overcome challenges and gain new experiences such as learning how to swim.
My main complaint is that the writer is glaringly oblivious to how much diversity there is within India or how many different kinds of Indian lives and families there are both within India as well spread over countries such as Canada. Surely she is old enough (31 years old at the time of writing the book) to understand that her own family is not the only kind of Indian family in the world. Her failure to understand this makes many of her observations naive and inept. For example, the book is awash with sentences such as “Indian women aren’t dreamers.” P.138 This is hugely irritating for Indian women like me and my friends who were/are encouraged to dream. Sure that may not be the reality for many Indian women, which is why the writing could have had a caveat like, “In my experience, most Indian women...” Easy fix. Instead of painting all Indian women with the same broad and generic brushstroke.
My main complaint is that the writer is glaringly oblivious to how much diversity there is within India or how many different kinds of Indian lives and families there are both within India as well spread over countries such as Canada. Surely she is old enough (31 years old at the time of writing the book) to understand that her own family is not the only kind of Indian family in the world. Her failure to understand this makes many of her observations naive and inept. For example, the book is awash with sentences such as “Indian women aren’t dreamers.” P.138 This is hugely irritating for Indian women like me and my friends who were/are encouraged to dream. Sure that may not be the reality for many Indian women, which is why the writing could have had a caveat like, “In my experience, most Indian women...” Easy fix. Instead of painting all Indian women with the same broad and generic brushstroke.
December 31, 2020
I knew I had to read this book as soon as I saw the title because I have thought about my own life in similar terms. My own “second childhood” wasn’t as deliberate and structured as the author’s, but the motivations and rewards had a lot in common.
Rupinder Gill spent a year focusing on fulfilling childhood longings that had gone unmet during her actual childhood, due to a strict upbringing by her Indian parents. As she pursued these goals she saw her world open up in unexpected ways; addressing the past empowered her to steer her future in new directions. At the same time, her new experiences led to a greater interest in her own heritage as well as some tender insights about why her parents acted as they did.
I think the foundation of this book isn’t just the Indian-American culture clash (although that’s certainly a significant part): it’s more about how revitalizing it is to learn new things, no matter what stage of life you’re at and no matter what your past was like.
Rupinder Gill spent a year focusing on fulfilling childhood longings that had gone unmet during her actual childhood, due to a strict upbringing by her Indian parents. As she pursued these goals she saw her world open up in unexpected ways; addressing the past empowered her to steer her future in new directions. At the same time, her new experiences led to a greater interest in her own heritage as well as some tender insights about why her parents acted as they did.
I think the foundation of this book isn’t just the Indian-American culture clash (although that’s certainly a significant part): it’s more about how revitalizing it is to learn new things, no matter what stage of life you’re at and no matter what your past was like.
June 13, 2019
This was a fun read of the "window into another person's life" variety. I wouldn't say it was very funny, or very enlightening, or very thought-provoking, but it was all of those things, moderately. I did laugh out loud a couple of times.
I spent a lot of the first half of the book trying to puzzle out how old the author was and what year she was writing about. I ended up concluding that she must have been born around 1980 and the book is set in 2010 or 2011. Just offering that information for anyone else who might wonder. I don't think she was deliberately being, coy, just not laying it out clearly. I think at one point she mentioned a date or year, and her age at the time, and that's how I got an answer that was close enough so I could stop wondering.
I spent a lot of the first half of the book trying to puzzle out how old the author was and what year she was writing about. I ended up concluding that she must have been born around 1980 and the book is set in 2010 or 2011. Just offering that information for anyone else who might wonder. I don't think she was deliberately being, coy, just not laying it out clearly. I think at one point she mentioned a date or year, and her age at the time, and that's how I got an answer that was close enough so I could stop wondering.
May 14, 2018
I found it really encouraging that this book was published. No, it's not earth-shattering, but life rarely is and that makes it beautifully profound. I didn't find the pop culture references annoying but felt they added texture and continuity to the theme of the writer wanting to work in entertainment (TV). The chapter on camp brought me to tears TWICE, a rare feat for any book.
June 26, 2017
Gill's desire to recapture the childhood she always wanted struck a chord for me. That 30's itch hit me as well, and led me to start my own business. I hope her leap of faith to do the work she loves was successful. And I hope she finished learning to swim!
September 21, 2018
Funny writing, good punchlines and definitely hit some deeply familiar notes for me. A light read. But I think the premise of the book ("I'm going to through a list of things I wished I did in my childhood") distracted me from what the book really is (a memoir.)
June 16, 2018
A nice and light read which one can relate to.
November 18, 2018
This was pretty entertaining and took us through Rupinder's quest to experience a true childhood, complete with a trip to Disney World. The writer had a clear and strong voice.
May 7, 2019
I really liked this, it was interesting and inspirational to read.
March 16, 2021
I found Rupinder's easy writing style engaging. I wanted a bit more pay-off, but I wasn't angry with the end. This was a charming memoir and I would recommend it.
March 19, 2017
This was a fun book to read. The author grew up in an immigrant family just outside of Toronto and as a child did not get to do a lot of the things her friends and classmates got to do - like sleepovers, go to camp, have a pet, take swimming lessons, or vacation at Disney World. So when she turns 30 she decides she needs to make up for lost time and sets about doing all these things she feels she should have done as a kid. The reflections on her siblings, her parents, her friends, and her experiences are very funny and quite endearing. I enjoyed this.
December 3, 2015
I won this ARC in a Goodreads contest; apparently winners are chosen based on "randomness, site activity, genre of books on your shelves, current phase of the moon, and more," so I was interested to see if they had correctly chosen me as a target audience for this book. In this memoir, Rupinder, a thirty-year-old Indian-Canadian woman, decides to revisit her childhood by attempting to do some of the things that she had wanted to do, but was forbidden by her strict and thrifty parents. She narrows down her list to five things: learn to swim, take lessons, visit Disney World, go to camp, and have a pet. With the support of her friends and her siblings (including three sisters and a brother), Rupinder sets out to experience her childhood dreams.
As the only Indian family in a primarily white community, Rupinder relates stories of the dreaded shopping for school clothes at the discount store in the mall, attempting to trade food with her schoolmates during lunch, being compelled to wear full Indian suits during the school's ethnic celebration (at which all the other students were "third-generation Canadian white, and thus dressed in their native dress of jeans and T-shirts"). She sets out to learn to swim, tap dance, and buy a dog all at once, and ends up overwhelmed with worry, spending hours trying on bathing suits, taking allergy tests to make sure that she is not allergic to dogs, and borrowing pets from friends. Finally, Rupinder's sister Gurpreet decides to get a dog -- a Norfolk terrier named Auggie, who soon becomes the pet of the entire Gill family, even their parents. As the weeks go by, Rupinder volunteers as a camp counselor, moves to New York City after quitting her job, and takes a trip to India with her mother.
I enjoyed reading Rupinder's narrative; her stories are well-told and evoke memories of my own Chinese American upbringing. However, the flow of the chapters is a little choppy; there are three parts to the book, but the first part is about 150 pages, while the third part is only 30. The final chapters of the book seem rushed, while the conclusion felt like it left the reader hanging -- the author speaks of an upcoming trip in the next year, but also determines that she has been "unabashedly selfish" for the past twelve months. For all the time spent describing her enjoyment in spending time with friends, family and new experiences, the book seemed to close on a confusing note.
As the only Indian family in a primarily white community, Rupinder relates stories of the dreaded shopping for school clothes at the discount store in the mall, attempting to trade food with her schoolmates during lunch, being compelled to wear full Indian suits during the school's ethnic celebration (at which all the other students were "third-generation Canadian white, and thus dressed in their native dress of jeans and T-shirts"). She sets out to learn to swim, tap dance, and buy a dog all at once, and ends up overwhelmed with worry, spending hours trying on bathing suits, taking allergy tests to make sure that she is not allergic to dogs, and borrowing pets from friends. Finally, Rupinder's sister Gurpreet decides to get a dog -- a Norfolk terrier named Auggie, who soon becomes the pet of the entire Gill family, even their parents. As the weeks go by, Rupinder volunteers as a camp counselor, moves to New York City after quitting her job, and takes a trip to India with her mother.
I enjoyed reading Rupinder's narrative; her stories are well-told and evoke memories of my own Chinese American upbringing. However, the flow of the chapters is a little choppy; there are three parts to the book, but the first part is about 150 pages, while the third part is only 30. The final chapters of the book seem rushed, while the conclusion felt like it left the reader hanging -- the author speaks of an upcoming trip in the next year, but also determines that she has been "unabashedly selfish" for the past twelve months. For all the time spent describing her enjoyment in spending time with friends, family and new experiences, the book seemed to close on a confusing note.
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