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200 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1967
The fact that he was already married was to her merely an added enticement, for she had always fancied the idea of a complicated, illicit and disastrous love. She had up to this point spent much time gratuitously complicating various perfectly straightforward affairs with her own contemporaries, in the hope of discovering the true thick brew of real passion, but her efforts had not had much success; she had lacked the ingredients. And after her acquisition of Clelia, earlier that year, she had detached herself entirely from her one thin, current attempt at intrigue with one of her professors: an intrigue which she had fostered more for its lack of orthodoxy than for any progress that it might be expected to make.From this point Clelia practically vanishes from the narrative despite the two women being virtually inseparable and I found that a bit annoying even if when one is in love everything bar the thing loved fades into the background.
So that when Gabriel knocked upon her door, she was positively waiting for him. And she knew as soon as she set eyes upon him that he was what she wanted.
‘I don’t suppose you’re going to tell me why you didn’t come any earlier,’ said her mother, after another long pause.The “woman leaning on a gate” was her mother. Before she visits her mother Clara finds some old photographs and notebooks and gets a surprising insight into the woman her mother might’ve been but who she would dismiss now just as she would dismiss Clara’s chosen life path.
And Clara, who had been toying with the idea of saying, I was in Paris with a man, as some desperate final appeal to that young woman leaning on a gate forty years ago, found naturally that such an appeal was impossible, against nature; and equally impossible was the only other possible reply, which would have been to answer this dull uninflected demand in kind, by saying, ‘No, I am not going to tell you.’ Freedom abandoned her, the pitiful ineptitude of freedom, and she found herself once more, as of old, basely prevaricating, terrified into deceit, mumbling shamefully on about examinations, and having been away on a course, and not having received messages.
‘I don’t feel free of it,’ she said. ‘It’s a part of me for ever, I don’t want it to be a part of anyone else. I can’t be free, but there’s no reason why I shouldn’t be thought to be free, is there?’Of course we never learn what happens to Clara. She won’t end up with Gabriel, that’s pretty much a given, but she may end up with someone like him. What she’ll never end up is being Clelia no matter how much she imitates her.