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Retief #14
Retief and the Pangalactic Pageant of Pulchritude
More adventures with Keith Laumer's devil may care Galactic Diplomat.
Unknown Binding
First published January 1, 1986
135 people want to read
About the author
Keith Laumer
500 books224 followersJohn Keith Laumer was an American science fiction author. Prior to becoming a full-time writer, he was an officer in the U.S. Air Force and a U.S. diplomat. His brother March Laumer was also a writer, known for his adult reinterpretations of the Land of Oz (also mentioned in Keith's The Other Side of Time).
Keith Laumer (aka J.K Laumer, J. Keith Laumer) is best known for his Bolo stories and his satirical Retief series. The former chronicles the evolution of juggernaut-sized tanks that eventually become self-aware through the constant improvement resulting from centuries of intermittent warfare against various alien races. The latter deals with the adventures of a cynical spacefaring diplomat who constantly has to overcome the red-tape-infused failures of people with names like Ambassador Grossblunder. The Retief stories were greatly influenced by Laumer's earlier career in the United States Foreign Service. In an interview with Paul Walker of Luna Monthly, Laumer states "I had no shortage of iniquitous memories of the Foreign Service."
Four of his shorter works received Hugo or Nebula Award nominations (one of them, "In the Queue", received nominations for both) and his novel A Plague of Demons was nominated for the Nebula Award for Best Novel in 1966.
During the peak years of 1959–1971, Laumer was a prolific science fiction writer, with his novels tending to follow one of two patterns: fast-paced, straight adventures in time and space, with an emphasis on lone-wolf, latent superman protagonists, self-sacrifice and transcendence or, broad comedies, sometimes of the over-the-top variety.
In 1971, Laumer suffered a stroke while working on the novel The Ultimax Man. As a result, he was unable to write for a few years. As he explained in an interview with Charles Platt published in The Dream Makers (1987), he refused to accept the doctors' diagnosis. He came up with an alternative explanation and developed an alternative (and very painful) treatment program. Although he was unable to write in the early 1970s, he had a number of books which were in the pipeline at the time of the stroke published during that time.
In the mid-1970s, Laumer partially recovered from the stroke and resumed writing. However, the quality of his work suffered and his career declined (Piers Anthony, How Precious Was That While, 2002). In later years Laumer also reused scenarios and characters from his earlier works to create "new" books, which some critics felt was to their detriment:
Alas, Retief to the Rescue doesn't seem so much like a new Retief novel, but a kind of Cuisnart mélange of past books.
-- Somtow Sucharitkul (Washington Post, Mar 27, 1983. p. BW11)
His Bolo creations were popular enough that other authors have written standalone science-fiction novels about them.
Laumer was also a model airplane enthusiast, and published two dozen designs between 1956 and 1962 in the U.S. magazines Air Trails, Model Airplane News and Flying Models, as well as the British magazine Aero Modeler. He published one book on the subject, How to Design and Build Flying Models in 1960. His later designs were mostly gas-powered free flight planes, and had a whimsical charm with names to match, like the "Twin Lizzie" and the "Lulla-Bi". His designs are still being revisited, reinvented and built today.
Keith Laumer (aka J.K Laumer, J. Keith Laumer) is best known for his Bolo stories and his satirical Retief series. The former chronicles the evolution of juggernaut-sized tanks that eventually become self-aware through the constant improvement resulting from centuries of intermittent warfare against various alien races. The latter deals with the adventures of a cynical spacefaring diplomat who constantly has to overcome the red-tape-infused failures of people with names like Ambassador Grossblunder. The Retief stories were greatly influenced by Laumer's earlier career in the United States Foreign Service. In an interview with Paul Walker of Luna Monthly, Laumer states "I had no shortage of iniquitous memories of the Foreign Service."
Four of his shorter works received Hugo or Nebula Award nominations (one of them, "In the Queue", received nominations for both) and his novel A Plague of Demons was nominated for the Nebula Award for Best Novel in 1966.
During the peak years of 1959–1971, Laumer was a prolific science fiction writer, with his novels tending to follow one of two patterns: fast-paced, straight adventures in time and space, with an emphasis on lone-wolf, latent superman protagonists, self-sacrifice and transcendence or, broad comedies, sometimes of the over-the-top variety.
In 1971, Laumer suffered a stroke while working on the novel The Ultimax Man. As a result, he was unable to write for a few years. As he explained in an interview with Charles Platt published in The Dream Makers (1987), he refused to accept the doctors' diagnosis. He came up with an alternative explanation and developed an alternative (and very painful) treatment program. Although he was unable to write in the early 1970s, he had a number of books which were in the pipeline at the time of the stroke published during that time.
In the mid-1970s, Laumer partially recovered from the stroke and resumed writing. However, the quality of his work suffered and his career declined (Piers Anthony, How Precious Was That While, 2002). In later years Laumer also reused scenarios and characters from his earlier works to create "new" books, which some critics felt was to their detriment:
Alas, Retief to the Rescue doesn't seem so much like a new Retief novel, but a kind of Cuisnart mélange of past books.
-- Somtow Sucharitkul (Washington Post, Mar 27, 1983. p. BW11)
His Bolo creations were popular enough that other authors have written standalone science-fiction novels about them.
Laumer was also a model airplane enthusiast, and published two dozen designs between 1956 and 1962 in the U.S. magazines Air Trails, Model Airplane News and Flying Models, as well as the British magazine Aero Modeler. He published one book on the subject, How to Design and Build Flying Models in 1960. His later designs were mostly gas-powered free flight planes, and had a whimsical charm with names to match, like the "Twin Lizzie" and the "Lulla-Bi". His designs are still being revisited, reinvented and built today.
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
December 31, 2008
I began reading the Retief series by Keith Laumer over 20 years ago and I enjoy reading them to this day. I needed to read this. I'm trying to get back into reading more, now that I've unplugged cable. Laumer and his Retief series have always been a wry hoot. I wasn't disappointed.
April 18, 2009
This book should win some kind of award for having contents that least resemble the jacket blurb of any book in history. Seriously, the jacket blurb has nothing to do with the plot of the book at all.
November 3, 2021
A novella in the Jame Retief science fiction series. Retief is a diplomat in the Corps Terrestienne Diplomatique which are the "good guys" in the inter galactic rivalry with the Groaci who are the "bad guys." This is an essentially tongue in cheek series in which Retief's superiors are hopeless incompetents and Retief is always is there to save the day and set things right.
Retief is responsible for preserving the purity of a bevy of alien beauty contestants from across the galaxy. Retief must use all of his diplomatic skills when he chaperones Earth's entrant to a pangalactic beauty pageant on the planet Boondock, where beauty is in the eye--or eyes--of the beholder. Quite a nice twist at the end.
Retief is responsible for preserving the purity of a bevy of alien beauty contestants from across the galaxy. Retief must use all of his diplomatic skills when he chaperones Earth's entrant to a pangalactic beauty pageant on the planet Boondock, where beauty is in the eye--or eyes--of the beholder. Quite a nice twist at the end.
December 23, 2017
Two stories in book. The Retief series is best in short stories or novellas and these two stories are a couple of the better ones. I particularly liked the twist at the end of the "beauty" contest in the first story. The second book, "Retief's Ransom" is vintage Retief with the usual collection of low-brow aliens, sneaky Groaci, and inept bureaucrats with outlandish names, such as "Ambassador Pouncetrifle".
July 19, 2022
....Pulchritude has the BEST title and a GREAT cover (for 1986). However the story goes from mediocre to a lot worse, tedious tripe, hardly justifying the final fillip (not the one you expected all along).
This is often bundled with the 1971 classic Retief's Ransom, a far better story.
Laumer had a 'stroke' in 1971 which may explain the differences.
This is often bundled with the 1971 classic Retief's Ransom, a far better story.
Laumer had a 'stroke' in 1971 which may explain the differences.
July 9, 2025
I love the duplicitous diplomatic intergalactic dialog, but the rest of Laumer's writing style is definitely of an earlier era. If you don't like the statecraft satire, then deduct a star. This brief review will be reused for all my Retief books.
dnf
December 29, 2022DNF @ 28%
January 27, 2024
Way less about the P.P.P. than I expected, but still really weird and fun.
The final 2 pages were an teaser "from George R.R. Martin's newest book"
The final 2 pages were an teaser "from George R.R. Martin's newest book"
August 25, 2009
This time Retief is responsible for preserving the purity of a bevy of alien beauty contestants from across the galaxy.
Retief is possibly Science Fiction's most humorous, and also invariably triumphant, recurring character; embodying the intelligence and machismo of James Bond (Retief's portrayal on the cover art of some of the books is rather remininiscent of James Coburn as Derek Flint from the Our Man Flint movies) and the wit and behind-the scenes manipulation of P.G. Wodehouse's Jeeves.
Pick up any Retief novel or short-story collection and you're in for a rollicking "Good Read"! So uncork a bottle of Bacchus Black or Bacchus Red and toast the skewering of any number of Groacci foes (rhymes with whacky) accompanied by a repast of toasted Gribble Grubbs and sliced Hoob Melons for dessert.
Retief is possibly Science Fiction's most humorous, and also invariably triumphant, recurring character; embodying the intelligence and machismo of James Bond (Retief's portrayal on the cover art of some of the books is rather remininiscent of James Coburn as Derek Flint from the Our Man Flint movies) and the wit and behind-the scenes manipulation of P.G. Wodehouse's Jeeves.
Pick up any Retief novel or short-story collection and you're in for a rollicking "Good Read"! So uncork a bottle of Bacchus Black or Bacchus Red and toast the skewering of any number of Groacci foes (rhymes with whacky) accompanied by a repast of toasted Gribble Grubbs and sliced Hoob Melons for dessert.
July 17, 2008
my fav retief
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September 26, 201212
September 9, 2019
Retief's Ransom which forms the largest part of this book was my favorite Retief novel and perhaps funniest sci fi in my early twenties long before Adams and Holt and Terry Pratchett.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews