Heads up, kiddos! I feel a rant coming on. DISCLAIMER: I love you JB.
I feel like the hallmark of Canterwood Crest is overreaction. These girls overreact to everything that crosses their path. These girls are twelve years old and they really need to chill because if they continue on like this, they'll have high blood pressure and chronic back problems by the time they're sixteen. They all need to take a deep breath and for once COMMUNICATE with each other. Every time they overreact, it's simply a misunderstanding and the girls get all butthurt over nothing. Lauren is the queen of this drama. Look at the intense psychological fear she has cultivated for herself over an accident that literally caused no harm whatsoever. This chick is bound to need some therapy. Assumptions are your enemy, Lauren, not your friend. But never mind, you and Khloe just made up and now you're giggling and promising each other exorbitant amounts of sugar and fat. True friendship restored.
Now for the next unimportant conflict, our resident hot guy, Drew. And he's so perfect and nothing is wrong with him, which is absolutely ridiculous because no twelve year old boys can be this cute, mature, and sweet. They just don't exist. Twelve year old boys are in that annoying stage of life when they think they're cool and have no idea that they are just annoying little pygmies that chatter about girls and sports and wear too much Axe. Lauren, please do tell where you find all of these wonderful twelve year old boys. Maybe Lauren has deeper psychological issues than I thought and this boy, "Drew," is just a figment of her imagination. Either way, she definitely needs to lay off dating until she is emotionally stable and at least sixteen years old. There is no excuse for a twelve year old to date. It just doesn't happen. Twelve year olds think they're "dating," but really their parents just drop them off at places and older people either look at them like they're adorable or look at them in disgust because they're making too much noise. Anyways, cue the unrealistic, childish behavior about liking a boy. How do these girls have so many nicknames? Do they really hate their real names that much? Lauren has at least three that I can come up with off the top of my head.
At this point in time I would also like to mention the cover, because that girl that models as Lauren does not look real. I have no idea what it is, but she has a definite Barbie quality to her. Also, we do have a staggering amount of italics, but this is commonplace for Canterwood books.
Lauren, don't be such a jerk. Why in the world must you post everything on social media? Now you've driven a rift in between your friends. They're also quite possibly terrible friends if they get ticked off about that kind of thing, just saying.
I'm just going to say that this new mean girl, Riley, doesn't cut it for me. Heather Fox was one of the best characters of the entire series, very multi-layered and interesting, but this Riley chick sucks. She's really annoying, unbelievably petty, and not convincingly villainous at all. She's just a snarky little kid with a bad attitude that I don't want to hear about. Heather had a lot of depth and heart to her character. Riley is sub-par.
I also hate the long, drawn-out explanations of regular horsey things. You don't need to explain every detail of what the farrier is doing, JB, it's not at all essential to the plot, and though you may feel like it increases your credibility, it actually brings it down a few notches to seasoned horsemen. Oh my Lord, Lauren just said "You heart your shoes!" Gag me. I'm surprised Whisper hasn't kicked her for her dumb comments yet. Sorry, JB, I just have a thing against Lauren. I guess I'm still bitter because I miss Sasha.
Back to the current. As I said before, twelve year old boys do not have the brain capacity to generate such well thought out compliments and would certainly not waste any time bothering to say them out loud and be laughed at by their other idiotic friends. So, Drew, you're officially not real.
Dayum, Khloe, you better quit now. You're not cut out for the world of upper level equestrian sports if you can't handle an egg and spoon race. I hear that's one of the qualifications for the US Equestrian Team. George Morris would fall over if he realized the quality of these deluded girls who are "the best." I'm sure Lillie Keenan wouldn't ever drop an egg in an egg and spoon race. That's how you know she's real.
Lauren, why do you go through so much effort to look nice at the barn? You'll just get sweaty and gross and your makeup will run and then Drew will never love you. Honestly, the stable is not a romantic rendezvous, as you are bound to end up with some hay in your hair and various horse slobber accessories.
Okay, this whole warm up lesson illustrates a HUGE problem to me. These girls don't realize that you must have constant contact with your horse's mouth? That you are constantly working from leg to hand, always asking your horse to stretch down and use his back to some degree? Lauren is supposedly a dressage star, and she's literally sweating and all pooped out because Mr. Conner is making her use her legs and keep contact with Whisper for extended periods of time AT THE WALK. *gasp* This should honestly be a cakewalk for you. You should be able to do this at all gaits, chick. Lauren, I don't know what kind of dressage you've been doing, but it isn't really dressage, hon.
As a note, every time I see "perf" I die a little inside. Whoo! At least Riley is gone now. But who will take over her place as the regular antagonistic girl?
Also, apparently Khloe had to keep Lauren under lock and key to stop her from going to the barn while she was sick, but during Lauren's narration, she clearly never once mentioned a thing about it. Whatever because now Lauren is at peace before her first show since THE ACCIDENT. And apparently this show is so very important because it only lasts 18 pages, while all this other random, not relevant drama that isn't even the supposed main conflict goes on for the other 182 pages...
Wow, Lauren's journey on the show circuit has begun. I'm not sure which show circuit they're talking about because all these classes don't happen and the kind of show they're doing isn't actually a thing. I still have no idea if these girls actually intend to be eventers or what? It's never really clear. And if they're so good, why are they not competing at actual rated events? I just don't understand.
Anyways, I'm all done with my rant and I feel a little better about life. JB, sorry for any hurtful comments, I'm just doing my job. You know I love you and will always read Canterwood, no matter how bad I think it is. All right! Elvis has left the building.