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Discipline: A Play
DISCIPLINE, a theatrical play, is an award-winning romantic comedy that has us spending two evenings in the apartment of Harold Jenkins, a man many would consider a nobody. Helpless against the powers that control his every hour, Harold rebels in the only way he knows how - sexual hyperactivity. Lilly, Harold's less-than-generous lady love, keeps Harold's sexual advances on a short leash, leaving the poor guy frustrated and essentially isolated. But new possibilities emerge for Harold when he discovers a bizarre and mysterious stranger sniffling on his stove in the middle of the night.
136 pages, Paperback
First published December 27, 2011
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33 people want to read
About the author
Gerard Bianco
10 books70 followersGerard Bianco is a celebrated artist and author known for his award-winning work.
His paintings, portraits, and illustrations are featured in a variety of corporate and private collections across the United States.
Gerard also contributed to Now Write! Mysteries: Suspense, Crime, Thriller, and Other Mystery Fiction Exercises from Today’s Best Writers and Teachers.
He currently resides in Maine. To discover more about his artwork and other books, visit the author's website: gerardbianco.com
His paintings, portraits, and illustrations are featured in a variety of corporate and private collections across the United States.
Gerard also contributed to Now Write! Mysteries: Suspense, Crime, Thriller, and Other Mystery Fiction Exercises from Today’s Best Writers and Teachers.
He currently resides in Maine. To discover more about his artwork and other books, visit the author's website: gerardbianco.com
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
March 13, 2015
I don't think that I have ever read a play before, at least without not being a perfomer of the play. So I didn't really know what to expect when I received a reviewer's copy of Discipline.
Any hesitation that I had that I wouldn't get into the style vanished within the first couple of pages and I found myself drawn into the developing scene very quickly. Being a play, it is obviously 99% dialogue which I found excellent. There was no flowery decriptions of the scenes or people, just the setting at the start and the dialogue.
Without going into spolier terrority, Discipline tells the story of one man's struggle with himself and his friend Lilly, who is a guiding light of sorts to him. An intruder appears who seems to want to lead Harold down another path.
The dialogue is very sharp, sometimes caustic and harsh as you delve into the pysche of the obviously troubled Harold but I found there was a lot of humour interspersed which kept it light hearted.
If this was a show being put on in a theatre near me, I probably would go out of my way to go and watch it.
Well done to Mr Bianco.
Any hesitation that I had that I wouldn't get into the style vanished within the first couple of pages and I found myself drawn into the developing scene very quickly. Being a play, it is obviously 99% dialogue which I found excellent. There was no flowery decriptions of the scenes or people, just the setting at the start and the dialogue.
Without going into spolier terrority, Discipline tells the story of one man's struggle with himself and his friend Lilly, who is a guiding light of sorts to him. An intruder appears who seems to want to lead Harold down another path.
The dialogue is very sharp, sometimes caustic and harsh as you delve into the pysche of the obviously troubled Harold but I found there was a lot of humour interspersed which kept it light hearted.
If this was a show being put on in a theatre near me, I probably would go out of my way to go and watch it.
Well done to Mr Bianco.
April 3, 2015
Discipline
(I was sent this play as a part of a Goodreads review group.)
The play opened with a smidgen more superficial detail than I would have preferred. The setting descriptions seemed unnecessary. All these details finally culminate in, “She sits, doing nothing.” Not a bold move. It can only get better, so...
At first the dialogue is strained with an unlikely musing about nipples. The characters ease into their banter, and something seems odd about the world, a mysterious “they” which may or may not be in jest.
The banter takes on the form of a sex comedy. There's something stodgy and on-the-nose about them. Other than the man's typical desire to get laid, the characters and story don't develop very quickly at all. The two seem like anachronisms, people from a 1950s film, but with swearing—too much swearing. The woman uses the f word in nearly every paragraph-length exchange. That's supposed to be endearing?
Odd (painful) moments intrude, like this one, “YIPADEE-YOH-KIYA. RIDE ’EM HIGH, COWBOY! HEE-HAW!”
Lilly often answers her own questions, peppered with obviously expository references, so it doesn't feel like a highly realistic scenario. But it also doesn't feel fantastical enough to be a farce. It's somewhere in the middle. The dialogue repeats each point at least twice and often more than that, which renders it a bit tedious and sluggish to move along. Remove “a bit.” I'm reminded of Edward Norton's scene in Birdman, where he tears apart the dialogue there, complaining that it repeats the same idea three, four times, and then he proceeds to streamline it.
I'll quote Lilly: “This conversation is beginning to bore me. I’m going to sleep.”
That is the problem here, an endless conversation, two people stuck in a room for so long, to what end? Some more complexity and relief would have been welcome.
Perhaps if some of the ideas were rearranged into a more satisfying plot, with suspense, it could have brought out its theme and succeeded at what it was attempting. This version is too rambling and repetitive for far too long before the thing gels near the end. Parts of the ending could be brought up to the opening, and then maybe we'd have something. Half the banter could be cut. The characters could feel more authentic.
(I was sent this play as a part of a Goodreads review group.)
The play opened with a smidgen more superficial detail than I would have preferred. The setting descriptions seemed unnecessary. All these details finally culminate in, “She sits, doing nothing.” Not a bold move. It can only get better, so...
At first the dialogue is strained with an unlikely musing about nipples. The characters ease into their banter, and something seems odd about the world, a mysterious “they” which may or may not be in jest.
The banter takes on the form of a sex comedy. There's something stodgy and on-the-nose about them. Other than the man's typical desire to get laid, the characters and story don't develop very quickly at all. The two seem like anachronisms, people from a 1950s film, but with swearing—too much swearing. The woman uses the f word in nearly every paragraph-length exchange. That's supposed to be endearing?
Odd (painful) moments intrude, like this one, “YIPADEE-YOH-KIYA. RIDE ’EM HIGH, COWBOY! HEE-HAW!”
Lilly often answers her own questions, peppered with obviously expository references, so it doesn't feel like a highly realistic scenario. But it also doesn't feel fantastical enough to be a farce. It's somewhere in the middle. The dialogue repeats each point at least twice and often more than that, which renders it a bit tedious and sluggish to move along. Remove “a bit.” I'm reminded of Edward Norton's scene in Birdman, where he tears apart the dialogue there, complaining that it repeats the same idea three, four times, and then he proceeds to streamline it.
I'll quote Lilly: “This conversation is beginning to bore me. I’m going to sleep.”
That is the problem here, an endless conversation, two people stuck in a room for so long, to what end? Some more complexity and relief would have been welcome.
Perhaps if some of the ideas were rearranged into a more satisfying plot, with suspense, it could have brought out its theme and succeeded at what it was attempting. This version is too rambling and repetitive for far too long before the thing gels near the end. Parts of the ending could be brought up to the opening, and then maybe we'd have something. Half the banter could be cut. The characters could feel more authentic.
February 15, 2017
It over stayed its welcome. Most of the scenes were drawn out with a speck of humor. It basically made me say "bleh".
April 7, 2016
What a good play. Although it’s supposed to be performed, it’s also fun to read. The best analogy I can think of is a modern Waiting for Godot inspired story with wordplay like Dr Seuss has started writing for adults that’s been set in a New York apartment. The dialogue is an education for anyone who wants to read and learn about writing good dialogue. Sharp, witty, clever and well-paced. It’s a beauty of a story too with a riveting conclusion. If this ever gets performed in a theatre near me, I’ll buy tickets.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews