In Sickness as in Health: Helping Couples Cope with the Complexities of Illness

by Barbara Kivowitz

For those who find themselves at the intersection of lifetime love and overwhelming obligation, the right path is often painful and difficult to find. When illness invades the couple relationship, partners ask themselves and each other some really hard "What do I want to do for this person whom I have loved for many years?" "How much of my life do I give up to take care of my beloved?" "How do I sit by my beloved's side and watch her suffer?" While writing In Sickness as in Health, authors Barbara Kivowitz and Roanne Weisman learned through interviews with many couples, as well as with medical, spiritual, legal, rehabilitation and psychological experts, that couples find their own ways to deal with illnesses and catastrophic injuries.

224 pages, Paperback

First published May 15, 2012

Reviews

[Jordan · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are certain nuggets of advice that I found helpful in here, but I found the anecdotal format to be less than helpful. So many of the couples in here have baggage that my young relationship just doesn't have, so it was hard to find a cogent, workable solution within that. It also heavily explored the caregiver-patient dichotomy, which isn't what I was seeking, but okay. Lastly, lots of PTSD, terminal illness, and hospice advice, which was gut-wrenching but also not prescient to my case.

In a nutshell, a decent book with plenty of sound advice, but not quite right for my circumstances.

[Donitello · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although my husband and I have yet to experience any life-changing illness or injury, such a thing is always in the realm of possibility, and, far back in your mind, you always know it. You feel the urge to push the knowledge even further away, as if by merely thinking about it you may call the reality forth. And so we live our lives, unprotected should cruel chance strike a blow... and not nearly grateful enough when it doesn't. The large-spirited wisdom contained in this slim book -- much of it drawn from professionals in fields ranging from medicine and psychology to philosophy, spirituality, and law -- has helped to wake me up. I have been touched by the pure wealth and depth of the information offered, and by the writing style comparable to that of Alice Miller or Carolyn Myss in its rare grace. This is a beautiful and important book.

[Karla · Rating 3 out of 5]

The authors make some good points, and it's fairly well written. It was overly preachy to me, and not very insightful. I didn't get out of it what I'd hoped to. It focused on the intimate relationships couples may have, or may have difficulties with which can be a facet one chooses to read such a text. It wasn't as comprehensive as perhaps it could have been. It does however address many elephants in the room- who takes care of whom, how to suck it up and move forward. Why honesty is important, and how to cope in a healthy manner. The section on grief and stories throughout were meaningful and heartfelt. It's a contribution some may benefit greater from, just didn't hit the target here.

[Cathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was assigned for a volunteer project I'm involved in. It is a series of case histories of couples facing serious, often life-threatening medical issues, and how they coped. Many had a few false starts or took some time to figure out how to cope successfully. it does not read like a medical text and at the same time isn't preachy. It successfully tells true stories that must have been very difficult to gather.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Would have liked some stories & discussion from younger couples coping with chronic illness. Most stories were from the perspective of terminal illness & those that weren't seemed glossed over. Interesting perspectives and the interspersed expert advice was excellent. Would recommend to those facing similar situations.

[Bonnie Bertoldie · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was a good book. I would've liked more to spirituality in it. My husband has had advanced aggressive prostate cancer for almost 2 years and I really think it would have helped to read at the beginning of his illness. It has sound practical advice.

[Louie Haltom · Rating 5 out of 5]

would recommend to any one going through life changing illness