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Paperback
First published January 1, 1997
Stephen loved to sweep dirt into the dustpan, move it back, sweep the line of dirt, move it back, sweep the line of dirt. It was a grown-up thing.
Stephen went inside and came back out with his pack of candy Luckies, opened it, pulled out a heavy chalk candy cigarette, pretended to light it from a pretend match struck on the bench, pulled both of his feet up, and crossed his legs beneath him. He held out the candy cigarette and practiced all the ways he knew of flicking off ashes.
Stephen remembered what his mama's feet and toenails looked like. He remembered his daddy's, Uncle Raleigh's, Mrs. Clark's, Miss Bea's, Miss Mae's, and his own. His own toes were bland little faces, his mama's were good, and one time she let him paint them red, his daddy's were careful and a little bit afraid and real white, Uncle Raleigh's were red and messed up, Miss Bea's and Miss Mae's were the same—very mashed together, with Miss Bea's long second toes—and Mrs. Clark's had the cornflake and the one without any toenail at all. Every foot was a little community without a liner light. He had cut one of his mama's toenails one time and one of his daddy's three or four times and it was very pleasing, like sweeping lines of dirt into the dustpan. Like picking a old, dry, heavy scab. Like sitting on the grocery porch and drinking a Big Top grape. Like being a fireman or a cowboy. Like hearing the story of David and Goliath. Like baseball. Like cowboys killing Indians.
When Raleigh, just home from the Great War in 1918, had stood in the homeplace doorway, his sleeve empty, he had seen a look in Alease's face, a look from his sister who'd grown into a woman. And at that moment, standing there in his uniform, in the few seconds her eyes went down to the empty sleeve and back to his face, right then when her eyes came back to his face, he saw and felt the love that, as he thought he was dying in a muddy field, he knew he'd never again see in his mother's face, the love he remembered from his father's eyes, and the love missing from the faces of all the whores he'd had in England and France, the love he felt, even pictured, as he—among the wounded and dead—had tried to stand up and then had to sit back down, bleeding, the love he'd pictured moving away like a person entering a dark room. But the room's door never closed; he had lived, and at home standing in the doorway, he found all that lost love right there in front of him in this person of his sister, in that look on her face, in her eyes.
In the kitchen, Stephen's mother knelt and looked Stephen in the eyes. 'I don't care what he did. Don't you run from him if he pushes you. Next time you tell him to stop and if he don't, you push him back, and then if he does anything else you hit him as hard as you can. Do you understand?'
Stephen came running across the backyard. Leland was chasing him. Stephen opened the screen door, half fell onto the porch as he turned and hooked the screen door just before Leland grabbed it and pulled.
'You scaredy-cat. You chicken,' said Leland, breathing hard. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand.
Stephen turned to go on into the house. But he was face to face with his mama. She grabbed his shoulders, backed him against the porch wall. Her hands were wet. 'Don't you run from him again. Ever. Now you get back out there and fight him. You hear me? Get back out there right now and don't you come back in this house until you're finished one way or another. Now get out there.' She unhooked the door and pushed him out, hooked it back, and went inside, over to the window to watch. With her apron she wiped dishwater off the back of her hands.