Hey, Idiot!: Chronicles of Human Stupidity

by Leland Gregory

It's not feelings of superiority that make us suspect the universe is filled with dumb people: The universe really is filled with dumb people, as it's easy to see in the pages of Leland Gregory's sharp offering, Hey Idiot! Gregory, a former Saturday Night Live writer, is the smart cookie who's previously showed us gray matter-challenged examples in everything from the criminal world to the hallowed halls of government. This time, though, everyone, everywhere is fair game if they've exhibited outrageously stupid behavior. Consider:

* The forgetful fireman who left cooking oil on the stove and returned from a call to find the station house burned to the ground.

* A lung cancer patient who caused an explosion when he lit up a cigarette-in his oxygen tent.

* A 58-year-old billiards player who was suspended from competition after testing positive for a muscle-building hormone.

* F. Edward Hebert, chairman of the House Armed Services Committee, who said, The only way we'll get a volunteer army is to draft them.

Hey Idiot! lets everyone from bosses to public officials, doctors to sports heroes, skewer themselves with their moronic words and action. Readers will howl with laughter at the more than 200 examples of boneheadedness and buffoonery. Wise up and don't miss Hey Idiot!

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, History

482 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 1, 2003

Reviews

[Marty Carey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mildly entertaining, but it was disconcerting to see that a lot of the material seemed to have been looted from another book. I would have appreciated some source material. Florida Man is alive and well.

[Paul Sand · Rating 1 out of 5]

[Imported automatically from my blog. Some formatting there may not have translated here.]

This is a stupid book about stupidity. I can't remember why I have it. Did I buy it? That would have been stupid. Maybe a Christmas gift from long ago? That would make more sense; it has the air of something strategically re-gifted.

But I wouldn't—couldn't—shuffle this awful book off to someone else. Pun Salad Manor is where re-gifting chains finally end.

It's 249 pages. Allegedly a "humor" book, but I can honestly say I didn't laugh once. The author, Leland Gregory, has a Facebook page, in which he describes himself as "The Official Chronicler of Human Stupidity".

Which means: he scours the media for oddball stories, cuts and pastes, adds occasional snarky comments, and when he gets to a certain number, Voila, another book crapped out.

I suppose it's a living. At least he's not a politician.

Example, an item titled "Tic-Tac-Don't":

A nine-year-old student from Weems Elementary School in Manassas, Virginia, was suspended under the schools zero-tolerance policy on drugs. The boy had been caught giving his friends a Certs breath mint. The school policy not only bans real drugs but also "look-alikes" that a reasonable person would believe is a controlled substance. Defending his son's reputation, the boy's father said, "He's not a breath-mint addict or anything like that." Not yet, but who knows where something like this might lead?

Thigh-slapper? No. (But here, if you're interested, is the Washington Post story on which the item is apparently based.)

249 pages of this sort of thing is the very definition of tedious reading.

Anyway: I own it, I put it on the to-be-read pile, and eventually it came up. And now I'm using it to inflate my book-reading numbers. Does that make me stupid? Probably.

[Chris C. · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is actually pretty funny; Leland Gregory does a very good job as he compiles man stories that show how little common sense people actually have.

[Amanda Briggs · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think it should have had funnier ones than they did... it was kind of boring.

[Jennifer Daniel · Rating 3 out of 5]

A hoot! If you like the "Darwin Awards" series this will appeal to you.

[Bob Crawford · Rating 3 out of 5]

I worked with a friend once, a very smart woman who would occasionally display a starkly shallow attitude. Noting an offhand flip remark, I said, “gosh, you can really be shallow sometimes. Her reply?
“We all need a little shallow to balance off the deep.”
I can’t argue with that and this book represents my “shallow.”
It is good for a few laughs at others’ expense and is a quick read.

[Ryley Balon · Rating 1 out of 5]

Absolute garbage

I only read this because it was on sale and I bought it. I waited too long to be able to return it. The layout is trash, there are very rare sources, and there are even a few urban legends that made it into the mix.

Would rate 0 if I could.

[Janice Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW! Just, wow!

This world has lost its mind! Or maybe, it has just adapted to its surroundings! Oy! Crazy that some people CAN get away with such bad behavior and then sometimes, you reap what you sow! Oh goodness. Made me both chuckle and cringe.

[Miss Clark · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyable anecdotes, although some are so inane as to be just depressing.

Sadly, nothing is sourced.

[Karen Cowgill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good book! Funny, some sad, stories of...umm, idiots!! People can be so strange!

[Joan Wells · Rating 5 out of 5]

OMG ...I'm delirious !!!

[Kathleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enterning, full of wow and face palm moment!

[dutch · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow

I always thought that I was not very bright, Really seems I'm perfectly spot better than anyone mentioned in this what ,,,just happened.. Had to reread the story more then once

[Jim Viviano · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great useless knowledge bathroom read!

Easy, fun read. Sorry, but I don't have seventeen extra things to say about this book to fulfill the word count requirements.

[Mama K · Rating 5 out of 5]

Too funny...and, frankly, pretty scary.

[Susan D. Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun

Do not usually get these. It was a fun change page 125 slated me. Give it a try. There are some pretty funny and a lot of lame

[Patricia A. Gallagher · Rating 3 out of 5]

A Quick Read

Amateur writing style is as entertaining as some of the stories. I was happy to be done with it and glad it was free!

[Don · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of wasted space that could have been used to list more instances of stupidly, so this in itself can be a showing of their own stupidity in not doing.

[Jeff · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't expect much. And I got it.

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

I chose this book, because I was scanning the school library in search for a book to do for my reviews. I first saw its spine and the title caught my attention. “Hey Idiot!” is a collection of true stories of hilarious and stupid events that have happened in the news or elsewhere around the world. It also includes funny laws or idiotic blunders from newspapers. My favorite quote was “One man wound up in the hospital and another in jail when they got in a fight over which one had the hairiest butt,” because of the sheer stupidity of the brawl and its after effects. The style of the author’s writing is the same throughout the book, but the viewpoints differ from each story. I would recommend this book to most of my friends, because it is really funny. However, this book does contain some mature content.