Half a Life

by Jill Ciment

Jill Ciment weaves an unforgettable tale of survival, compassion, and courage, in this haunting recollection of a child surrounded by confusion and madness, and her struggle to find an identity.

  Half a Life  traces Jill Ciment's family from Toronto to the California desert - -a landscape and culture so alien to her father that the last vestiges of sanity leave him.  As madness engulfs him he becomes increasingly brutal and the family, grasping at survival, throws him out the door.  Having no understanding that he has done anything wrong, he first lives in his car at the end of the driveway, waiting to be invited back in, before exiting completely from their lives.

Poor and fatherless, Ciment spends the years from age fourteen to seventeen, as a gang girl, a professional forger, a stripper, a corporate spy, and finally, a high school dropout who by age eighteen has seduced her art teacher, a man  nearly three decades her senior and bluffed her way into college in an effort to shape a  future.  

Ciment is cutting, insightful and clearly unapologetic as she details the confusion and bravado of a child heroine whose dreams and tenacity allow her finally, to create the life she has been so desperately seeking.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography

210 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1996

About the author

Jill Ciment was born in Montreal, Canada. She is the author of Small Claims, a collection of short stories and novellas; The Law of Falling Bodies, Teeth of the Dog, The Tattoo Artist, and Heroic Measures, novels; and Half a Life, a memoir. She has been awarded a National Endowment for the Arts, a NEA Japan Fellowship Prize, two New York State Fellowships for the Arts, the Janet Heidinger Kafka Prize, and a Guggenheim Fellowship. Ciment is a professor at the University of Florida. She lives with her husband, Arnold Mesches, in Gainesville, Florida and Brooklyn, New York.

Reviews

[Peisenberg · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was so disappointed with this memoir. The book is BEAUTIFULLY written, and that is part of the problem. Because the main thing you are thinking throughout this memoir is: how did this person get from point A to point B. We follow her story in a disfunctional, poor family. She is flunking out of high school and doesn’t seem to care. She knows little about grammar, doesn’t seem to care about books, or any intellectual matters , cheats, lies and steals, and she ends up being a woman who is obviously well read, creates beautiful imagery and prose, has a Master’s degree and is a professor of creative writing in university ( and presumably becomes a law-abiding human). So the letdown was tremendous when we don’t even find out how she switches from art to writing, and how she gets her life on track.

[Kumari de Silva · Rating 3 out of 5]

In a very similar way to Cheryl Strayed's memoir "Wild" this memoir chronicles the life of a poor white woman with a missing father figure and a sympathetic (if uneducated mother.) The undiagnosed mental illness of Ciment's father also is reminiscent of the father in the break out memoir "Educated" by Tara Westover. Like both those books this reads in plain language. It's shorter than either one. I finished it in a couple of sittings. So why only three stars?

For one, I felt the author had less command over understanding what actually happened to her. She recalls a ton of events. So many in fact that at one point I remember asking myself "She's still only 15? All these things happened in a year?" But her analysis of the events is sparse. She doesn't know why she does things, at least she never explains to us why. I know, I know, she was probably frustrated and jealous but it would have been nice for the author to acknowledge her own feelings. Frankly her lack of acknowledgement for why she does anything: blow off school, hate Lenny, never mention the sisters she went bowling with again, left me not liking the narrator very much. School was clearly a path out for her brother. Lenny didn't seem so bad. And the sisters? They were actually nice, so why? Why don't we ever hear about them again?

Blowing off school may seem like a given for someone with as little parental support as she has, however, she establishes that her older brother works hard in school, gets into college, and later has a career. As for her? Well we know she has a career because she became an author and has published books available on Amazon.com but how that happened she fails to explain in this book. It's almost as if she didn't know how. She went from having abysmally bad spelling to working writer - - I mean, I think that might have been an interesting story - - but we'll never know. Instead we get an awful lot of information about the particularly bad years of her high school. Which, don't get me wrong, are legitimately terrible, trying and hopeless.

I heard this author went back recently and published a second memoir. Maybe I will read that and it will answer my questions. Her prose, at times, is very neat - sometimes she comes up with very powerful phrases, other times unique metaphors

[Julia Girou · Rating 4 out of 5]

Half a life is a beautifully written autobiography that consists of raw emotions. The author shares her childhood and her experiences in such a profound way there were sentences I wanted to imprint into my mind I kept re reading them cause of how thoughtful and brilliantly worded they were! There is more to the novel than simply one’s experiences, she depicts experiences that I belive most women can relate to growing up as a girl in a world that prioritizes the male gaze. I great read, and I have now started her second novel written just last year reflecting on this book, can’t wait to see what it holds!

[Jan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked up this memoir out of curiosity after reading Ciment's The Body in Question. The reader learns how accomplished writer Jill Ciment grew up in Southern California after the family relocated from Montreal. After the move, her father never regained his mental health and the family eventually threw him out. For a while, he lived in his car at the end of the driveway while his wife and kids fended largely for themselves.

It's a hard luck story, but writer and professor Ciment has spun a life of straw into gold, though not necessarily in this particular book.

[Chuck Kramer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Beautifully written memoir of a lonely childhood which somehow doesn’t quite get below the surface, especially of the other characters. They struck me as simple foils in Ciment’s own frenzied search for love and meaning. Although she’s looking back from adulthood, there’s not much perspective and the result is a lack of deep insight.

[Jiapei Chen · Rating 2 out of 5]

“Fake it til you make it” is the motto of this memoir. Though Ciment claims her childhood is mired in poverty (I think by relative standards, sure), she somehow comes across as a spoiled child who got incredibly lucky with help around her. The ending was quite abrupt but I guess the book title sort of explained it.

[Colton Campbell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am consistently impressed by Jill Ciment’s ability to put abstract emotions and concepts into concrete, approachable prose. She takes the dynamics of her fraught family life and unspools them so effectively, I feel like I know her as a friend. This memoir made it clear that she draws a lot of inspiration from her personal life for her other books (what author doesn’t?), but it never feels like a cheat with Ciment because she takes the banal and everyday and imbues it with such a unique perspective and voice. She is truly a hidden gem.

[renni]

d/n read closely, wanted an idea of this work before reading her newest book, Consent

[Camille · Rating 4 out of 5]

A rollicking good life story framed by an astonishing level of family dysfunction. Sometimes that's all you need to write an excellent memoir. I loved this one so much that I immediately picked up Ciment's new novel, "The Body in Question," which I read in two sittings.

[Ivoree Malcom · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this title, Jill Ciment reflects on the first twenty years of her life, chronicling a journey fraught with hardship, self-discovery & resilience. The memoir delves into the complexities of growing up in a family shaped by mental health struggles & poverty; along with her dogged pursuit of creative expression. At the heart of Ciment’s narrative is the complicated portrait of her family's relationship with her father, whose own battles with mental illness profoundly impacted their life.

Ciment’s writing is deeply evocative, painting a stark & sometimes painful picture of her early years. Her father’s mental health struggles are woven throughout the story, presenting a backdrop of instability that shapes Jill’s understanding of family, love & self. The tension between her desire for connection & the emotional distance caused by her father’s condition is palpable. However, Ciment does not shy away from the complex emotions that arise from this relationship—fear, frustration, guilt, & ultimately a yearning for understanding. This portrayal of her father’s mental illness is sensitive yet unflinching, showing how mental health can reverberate through generations, leaving deep marks on those who love someone suffering from it.

In parallel to her family’s struggles, Ciment’s love for art becomes a powerful escape & source of meaning. From a young age, art offers her a way to make sense of the world, to express the feelings she cannot fully articulate. It’s through this love for creation that Jill finds the motivation to break free from the confines of her difficult upbringing. Her artistic passion is more than just a hobby; it’s a lifeline, something that she employs to propel her toward a new world & identity.

Her journey eventually leads her to New York City, where she embarks on the next chapter of her life—a place that represents both a physical & metaphorical escape. While there, life hits her hard & she learns some tough lessons. Because Ciment’s move to New York is not without its struggles. As she comes face to face with the challenges of independence, self-doubt & building a life in an unfamiliar city, her journey takes on deeper meaning. New York symbolizes both the freedom and the complexity of carving out a life that is wholly her own, away from the weight of her past. Eventually, she must return to the safety & comfort of her home to regroup & refocus.

Through this memoir, Ciment paints a picture of resilience—not in the sense of overcoming every obstacle, but in the quiet determination to keep moving forward despite them. Her exploration of mental health, particularly through the lens of her father’s struggles, is both nuanced & realistic, inviting readers to consider the long-term effects of living with mental illness in a family. Ciment’s writing also highlights the power of art as a tool for healing & self-expression, showing how creative passion can serve as a transformative force in one’s life.

In the end, the title is not just a story of surviving a difficult childhood, but one of finding & claiming space for personal growth & creativity. Ciment’s ability to balance the rawness of her family’s struggles with her journey toward self-discovery is what makes this memoir so compelling. It is a reflection on how our past shapes us, but also a powerful reminder that we have the capacity to redefine our future.

In conclusion, the title is an introspective & beautifully written memoir that touches on themes of family, mental health & the transformative power of art. Jill Ciment’s story of growing up amidst personal & familial turmoil is both heartbreaking & inspiring, offering readers a profound reflection on resilience, self-identity & the search for meaning. For anyone who has ever grappled with the weight of their past or sought a path toward reinvention, this book is both a testament to the human spirit & a deeply moving exploration of what it means to truly live.

SN: Jill still doesn't tell us how she went from being a visual artist to a literary one? Maybe that's in the next half of her life?

[Briana Bui · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was curious about the relationship dynamics between an older man and an underaged girl from a psychological perspective. However, the author barely goes into that and focuses instead on her unideal childhood. She idolizes her mother and has only bad things to say about her father -- despite the only qualm about him being that he is stingy and most likely has autism. The author never mentions that her father was ever emotionally, physically, or sexually abusive, yet tries to kill him at one point in the book because he does not have money to support her through college. This is shocking to me, and to be frank, it's disturbing that someone with this disposition and has committed attempted murder is allowed to teach at a higher institution such as Columbia University and Rutgers University.

The author needs to do some serious inner work. From an objective perspective, her mother was more unstable than her father. But according to the author, her mother can do no wrong. Despite her mother being dishonest and spending money on her father's credit card without permission, the author does not see any issue with this. When her mother finally divorces her father, her mother continues to be financially irresponsible. However, the author still proceeds to blame her father instead of her mother for her family's financial situation -- despite her mother choosing not to work.

I could not bring myself to relate or like the author -- which is fine. When she impulsively moves to New York to "become an artist," she puts no effort into finding a job to support herself and then blames her roommate for kicking her out after not being able to afford rent. Apparently, according to the author, friends should be allowed to freeload off of you forever. It was exhausting to read her play the victim in every situation. She is covetous of her only female friend who was possibly a good influence on her, Rachel, because she comes from a more well-off family. Despite Rachel taking the SAT for her (the only reason the author was able to get into California Institute of Arts and change the pathetic trajectory of her life), the author also has nothing good to say about her and no gratitude at all. The author purely sees her as someone with more resources to use.

If there was some sort of redemption arc and the author reflected on her past actions and feelings, it would be more readable. However, with the total lack of self-reflection, it felt like I was reading into the mind of a narcissist. The author grew up middle-class in the Los Angeles suburbs with a house and a car, yet acts like she survived in the famine in Somalia because she had to work a marketing job as a teenager.

Ciment describes herself as a "tough girl," but she came off to me as entitled, sheltered, and unresourceful. I earnestly hope that the author gets the therapy that she needs to be a better mentor for the students she supposedly teaches creative writing to.

[Pascale · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have little patience with memoirs but this one is a must-read. Ciment describes her difficult childhood in a dysfunctional Jewish family. Born in Canada, Jill's parents emigrated to California for a fresh start when they had 3 children. The birth of a fourth only added to their economic instability. Eventually Gloria threw out her obese and obsessive husband, who never recovered from the divorce. Gloria barely managed to put food on the table for Jill, Jack, Tommy and Pete by working a series of thankless jobs. Jill did poorly in school, played truant most of the time and only excelled at drawing. She started taking art lessons with a married painter in his 40s whom she became besotted with. After trying to "find herself" in New York, where in fact she drifted aimlessly and fell into deep depression, she came back to California and succeeded in getting herself accepted to art school with fake SAT results curtesy of a more academic friend. Her mother more or less accepted her affair with Arnold, who eventually left his wife and married Jill. Ciment's writing is wry and incisive and every scene lands a punch.

[Priscilla · Rating 4 out of 5]

If I had known this was a memoir, I wouldn't have bought it (I read her most recent novel, liked it, and simply bought another book by her). I don't like memoirs, but this one tells a revealing story about undiagnosed, untreated mental illness that's important to know. Ciment's father was deeply mentally ill, but he wasn't violent, and he managed to struggle through his world. He had no friends and his family threw him out, but they just weren't equipped to deal with his illness, nor were they well-equipped to make it on their own. It is so sad to contemplate how their lives might have been different if he had gotten help.

[Deuce Naftel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I came across the title of this book and a brief description in an article on the NPR website about books coming out this summer Jill Ciment has a new memoir due. The NPR article really only mentioned how the author had married her art teacher when she was still quite young. And that it had been written well before the Me Too Movement. So I checked to see if our library system had it, and luckily we did.
I couldn't put it down once I started. And really, I didn't find the relationship with the art teacher a very big part of the book at all. Half a Life is so well-written and relatable. I highly recommend it!

[Cameron Toney · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am really interested in reading her second memoir, Consent, so I thought I'd better start with the first story.
Raised in an unstable household, with a mentally ill father and a mother who was overwhelmed, Ciment traces some of the lines and stories of her life with a confident pen.
What I will say is that some of these memories seem to be more of the stories we tell ourselves about what has happened to us, the way that we change stories so that it's about our triumphs, not about the bad things that happened to us. There are holes in these stories, as is her right, but I noticed them particularly as I read it.

[Robyn Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was written so honestly that I almost felt it could me my life, or anyone's life. She didn't sugar coat anything not even about herself and that was really refreshing for a memoir.
Although we did kind of just glance over the fact that the love intrest was a much older man and married and she would have been attempting to romance him as a very young girl. But 16, 17, back in those days was a different thing altogether. The suddenness of the ending made me want to know what happened to the rest of this life she has lived so I guess I will have to find the other half a life.

[Erin Moore · Rating 3 out of 5]

Decent memoir, but skipped over almost all the details about THE most intriguing part of her life: her relationship with a man more than twice her age. There was so much there, but none of it was shared. I definitely had more questions than answers after reading this book. I did follow up with reading her newest memoir - which answered some, but not all of those questions.

Jill is a gifted writer with a fascinating life.

[Cara Wittich · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this as a precursor to the author's next book entitled 'Consent'.
I was hoping to gain some background information. Though I found it fascinating that the author was able to turn her life around, the reader has no idea how. I can appreciate the stories told - they were clear and easy to follow. However, I found the style to be more of a statement of someone's personal facts that lacked any sort of refelction.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

The most wonderful book about growing up with an unstable father and still becoming an artist,

Loved this book. The author is funny, restrained and merciless, on herself and her parents, as she describes the path that led her to art school and an early marriage to a much older artist.

[Sylvia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love a good dysfunctional memoir but this one was over the top in many ways. The bravery of showing all her flaws and her flailing life was admirable but it was hard to feel connected to her crazy, depressing life. It’s amazing that Ciment emerged as a functioning adult

[Jessica Coyle · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fascinating quick read that shows that even a brilliant professor and artist doesn’t quite have the emotional intelligence to view her traumatic childhood and disturbing decades-long relationship with any kind of objective lens. I can’t wait to read the update.

[Suzannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

This should probably be called Quarter of a Life. Really skims college to her 30s. I was reading as a precursor to Consent, so I hope the next memoir dives into more details as writing is page-turning.

[Suzanne Bailey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very slow paced. But the author’s observations about her own reactions and those around her are well worth the read.

[Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Memoir of growing up in a dysfunctional family in the San Fernando Valley.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

very excited for the next memoir!!

[Allie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honest story and a great look at her life

[Muffin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this because I’d heard about Consent and want to do the double feature. This was great! And very upsetting. This was a pretty fucked up half a life.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! The potential that lies in human beings is bottomless. So glad I read this book of Climent's first. Now on to binge read all the others.

[Laurie Byro · Rating 4 out of 5]

I heard an interview on NPR and want to read her new book, and she referenced this book. Depressing, but well written.

[Kylie Hennagin · Rating 3 out of 5]

(3.5) Reserving the right to come back to this after reading Consent.