Black Boys Like Me: Confrontations with Race, Identity, and Belonging

by Matthew R. Morris

“ Black Boys Like Me ignited parts of me I honestly didn't believe any book could ever know. . . . Seldom do incredibly titled books earn their titles. Matthew R. Morris earns this classic title with a classic book about our insides.” —Kiese Laymon, author of Heavy


Startlingly honest, bracing personal essays from a perceptive educator that bring us into the world of Black masculinity, hip-hop culture, and learning.

This is an examination of the parts that construct my Black character; from how public schooling shapes our ideas about ourselves to how hip-hop and sports are simultaneously the conduit for both Black abundance and Black boundaries. This book is a meditation on the influences that have shaped Black boys like me.

What does it mean to be a young Black man with an immigrant father and a white mother, teaching in a school system that historically has held an exclusionary definition of success?

In eight illuminating essays, Matthew R. Morris grapples with this question, and others related to identity and perception. After graduating high school in Scarborough, Morris spent four years in the U.S. on multiple football scholarships and, having spent that time in the States experiencing “the Mecca of hip hop and Black culture,” returned home with a newfound perspective.

Now an elementary school teacher himself in Toronto, Morris explores the tension between his consumption of Black culture as a child, his teenage performances of the ideas and values of the culture that often betrayed his identity, and the ways society and the people guiding him—his parents, coaches, and teachers—received those performances. What emerges is a painful journey toward transcending performance altogether, toward true knowledge of the self.

With the wide-reaching scope of Desmond Cole’s The Skin We’re In and the introspective snapshot of life in Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates, Black Boys Like Me is an unflinching debut that invites readers to create braver spaces and engage in crucial conversations around race and belonging.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Canada, Race, Audiobook, Essays, Biography Memoir

224 pages, Hardcover

First published January 16, 2024

Reviews

[Bethany (Beautifully Bookish Bethany) · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars rounded up

This is a compelling collection of memoir-type essays about growing up as a Black boy trying to navigate masculinity and manhood amid racial stereotypes and a desire for a strong sense of identity. I think this is particularly important for educators to read and understand some of the factors impacting young students and how they present themselves. Very interesting and well-written.

[Barbara McVeigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

At first, I thought this book was going to be a re-hashing of Ta-Nehisi Coates’ ideas about the Black male body in “Between the World and Me”, but this book is so much more. I learned about “cultural embezzlement”, how young Black males use hip-hop to construct their identity, and how “the singularity” of Black American culture impacts young men living in a fractured Canadian culture.

I very much appreciate the Canadian and class contexts offered by the book. The essays lead comfortably into one another and I was never bored reading - It took me only 24 hours to complete!

There is strong language in the book, including the “n” word, so some school boards may or may not allow this book to be in their school libraries.

[Holly (bibliophiles_bookstagram) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will never know. I will NEVER KNOW! I can’t - I’m white!

But what I can do is try to learn and try to understand…..continually educating myself and trying to change the systems.

“We all participated in deeply entrenched racist behavior in some form or another.”

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5!

I picked up this book because of the perspective I’ve been looking for, and this did not fail to deliver. I think we need more Black male authors writing about their experiences, and this memoir-in-essays / critical look at the Black male perspective through the lens of one experience was definitely insightful, and has a lot of unique and important conversations that are brought up. I really enjoyed the writing, and how the book was structured and I’m looking forward to more from this author in the future - hopefully a debut novel!

[Claudia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Grateful for this work to be a part of the Canadian educational and literacy landscape. Saddened for the deeply entrenched racist experiences that so many don’t contemplate, including those who are most negatively affected by it. Pleased to read the final chapter, especially the last couple of pages.
I just learned I could have read as an audiobook by the author. I wish I’d done that.

[John Ayena · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I wanted the police to see a respectable, harmless Black man. I wanted any Black men I encountered on the subway to view me as dangerous. I created a schism of my own Black masculinity based on my environment. I guess that's how fragile my Black masculinity is.”

Honestly, my biggest takeaway from this book is a conscious understanding of why I’ve started to use the N-word a lot more frequently. Morris doesn’t even specifically talk about this, but the theme of reclaiming and redefining Blackness from racist stereotypes made me reflect on how something as small as the N-word grounds me back into the Black experience, especially as a mixed person who often struggles to silence feelings of not being “Black enough”.

That’s really the pattern throughout the book - through a series of memoir-style essays, Morris looks at the subtle behaviours and feelings Black boys and men perform (very specific word choice here) in response to racist sentiments, while exploring how these behaviours can be reclaimed and purified to create an empowering experience of Black identity. Big fan of this one and would recommend. 4 stars.

[Trina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook courtesy of Libro.fm. I appreciate hearing what it is like to be a young black man in Canada, especially because I think it is often underestimated how similar the treatment is in the US. I related to the author in how he and his brother were raised in the same home 18 months apart and chose such different paths. I also found the parts about teaching very resonant.

[Hilary (Melted Books) · Rating 4 out of 5]

An essay collection about the author’s experiences growing up as a Black man in Canada. With anecdotes on his childhood, career, and family, this paints a nuanced picture of the influences that shaped the author’s life and identity.
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My favorite writing in this book was the chapter about the anxiety-inducing school experiences Morris had as he struggled with his passion for scholastic achievement - a trait not widely accepted by his Black peers. I felt completely transported into Morris’s head as he described his anxiety, especially regarding the interactions he had with his teachers.
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A heavy but illuminating read.
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Thanks to Libro.fm and Penguin Canada for providing me with early access to the audiobook! This comes out January 15, 2024.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 and a half stars.

A courageous debut. He is vulnerable and honest.

I wish he had explored his bi-racial family dynamics more.

I can hear his mother's voice through his prose. It's interesting that he has lived in both Toronto and the USA, and the differences in the perceptions of Blackness.

The author draws fascinating parallels to his brother, who chose a different path.

The "inside baseball" references to Toronto neighbourhoods were often lost on me, but I could infer the insinuations.

Hopefully, this author will share more of his insights on the intersection of Black boys and the education system in future works, because we need more of those voices in the circles of influence.

[Randy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has given me so much to think about, and so much second guessing about the way I think and approach things within the context of the work I do. Kudos to the author for presenting his life in so open a way that allows his readers to better understand the experiences that he has gone through, and thus, hopefully, better connect to others who have had similar experiences.

[TheNextGenLibrarian · Rating 4 out of 5]

A VERY illuminating look at eight essays by @matthewrmorris about public school systems and Black boys like him. Every educator should read this. Thanks @librofm for the ALC.

4.5 ⭐️

[Julia · Rating 4 out of 5]

should be mandatory reading for all educators, and also it made me want to hug my mum.

[Brittney Tomyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

After reading his book, I am looking forward to seeing him speak live at a PD session I will be attending in April. Reading about his experiences growing up in Canada was interesting and heartbreaking. I am glad I read his book before seeing him speak as I feel like I really got to know him and his experiences in a way I otherwise would not have.

[Mitchell Brhelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audiobook. 3.5.

[This Is Corley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, great read (listen). Thank you Matthew, for sharing your experiences and personal stories with us. What a privilege to read. I picked the book without knowing what it was or who the author was, from the new release section on my library app.

I hope there’s more to come from this great black, Canadian voice.

[Sam Cheng · Rating 3 out of 5]

Morris covers important topics in his memoir. I appreciated his perspective on America as a person of color raised in the GTA. I think we can offer a unique critique of American culture because Canadians are similar to Americans in many ways (i.e., indoctrinated by North American culture). But Canadians, at least of my brand, sometimes seem to occupy a different species. Sometimes I wonder if we’re more evolved; other times I think we’ve dug ourselves into a pit.

I also valued his balanced introspection. Why did he respond in a certain way to his coworkers and law enforcement? He considers external factors stacked against him and occasionally highlights internal inconsistencies or personal views that need to mature. This is good, although I wish Morris consistently shared his reflections with the reader. Details seem lacking, especially in the second half of the book. I realize memoirs can be tricky because authors set boundaries for the amount of information to divulge. I’m sure there’s a desire to protect the people in their lives, so sharing information needs to respect others. However, this leaves the memoir feeling not fully baked. For example, Morris skips over his relationship with his on-and-off-again partner. I thought this was a missed opportunity to open up and point out areas of strengths and weaknesses. I felt the same about Morris’ relationship with his pops.

I’m glad Morris published Black Boys Like Me to honor his mom. I’m rounding up to 3 stars because of Morris’ unique voice (a black man from the GTA) that I don’t often hear in books.

[Marie-Ange Janvier · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a gem! It was essays with different lens of influences in the life of Black Canadian boys. It was pertinent to me as I’m raising a Black Canadian boy, I need to understand how he will see the world and interpret it. It goes deep into how entertainment and sports typecasted at a young age Black boys. Being smart and doing different things is an outlier. I liked how the author even questioned his own stereotypes of other Black boys. I learned so much, moreover, I want to learn more and help change the narrative of what Black boys are expected to do in society with the imagery of what is always presented. I know for me, I didn’t think I was able to do STEM into late in my teenage years. I was in a high school that promoted STEM fields but I was afraid I would fail in the Scientific Concentration Program offered because I saw no one who looked like me in there. So I didn’t subscribe into it. This is no fault to my parents who always encouraged their kids to be excellent academically but didn’t always understand the Canadian educational system. It took losing my dad by death to realize that I shouldn’t be afraid of anything in life, hence even scientific endeavours. I realized even then that even his example as an engineer was a pathway to step towards to. While that awakening happened late for me and I’m a woman, which comes with its own complexities in STEM, I can help wonder what are we doing to the black boys? Are we setting them up for success in STEM in the educational system or are we gearing them towards sports and entertainment? Great book that offered some excellent insights.

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Growing up Black, with a white mother and an immigrant Black father, living on the formerly Indigenous land we now call Scarborough, left me unsure of which parts of me I had to claim and which parts I had to defend.” This is one of my favourite quotes from the book. It nicely captures Morris’s honest reflection of his race, identity, and Blackness all whilst in a quintessential Canadian context.

There is so much introspection in this book; Matthew’s bravery in gaining empathy and understanding for himself inspires readers to do the same in their own lives for one’s self. And though the timeline jumped abound I never felt lost. The main theme of searching for an explanation or some sort of universal/personal truth keeps the reader engaged throughout different points of his life.

Morris makes sure to tell readers this is his story and his alone, and encourages us to do the same. After all, we are all dynamic and our stories are undulating, shaped, and being shaped as existence continues. An essential read, especially if you’re Canadian.

[Stephy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Black Boys Like Me by Matthew R. Morris is honest, powerful, and thought-provoking. I listened to the audiobook, which he narrates himself, and that made it hit even harder. You can feel the emotion and truth in every word.

This book dives into what it means to grow up Black in Canada—something we don’t talk about nearly enough. It explores race, identity, masculinity, and how schools can reinforce harmful stereotypes even when they think they’re being fair or neutral. His perspective as both a student and a teacher adds so much depth.

A few things that really stuck with me:
– Racism in Canada is real, even if it’s not always loud.
– Schools often miss the mark in how they see and support kids.
– Masculinity and identity are complicated, especially when you’re boxed in by what others expect.
– Listening to someone’s lived experience matters. It changes the way you see things.

This book should be required reading in Canadian schools. It challenges assumptions, opens your eyes, and makes you think differently about education, race, and growing up. I’m really glad I listened to it.

[Johanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

📙 Black Boys Like Me by Matthew R Morris
📙 Nonfiction, memoir
4.5 / 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✨

[AD: Thanks to @librofm ]

SYNOPSIS:
“This book is a meditation on the influences that have shaped Black boys like me. What does it mean to be a young Black man with an immigrant father and a white mother, teaching in a school system that historically has held an exclusionary definition of success?”

MY THOUGHTS:
✨A powerful and emotive read
✨ An honest account of the influences in Morris’s life and how the structural racism in our world presets how own and others perceptions.
✨ I loved the stories of him and his mum, some were utterly heartbreaking though!
✨ This was an all consuming necessary read that I highly recommend
✨ The audiobook was brilliant, narrated by the author which I utterly adored listening to!

[Jonathan Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sincerity and vulnerability are probably some of the most difficult aspects an author can reveal in a memoir or reflection on their own life, but Matthew R. Morris managed to do it line after line and page after page. This book is an excellent collection of essays from a man who clearly spent a lot of time concisely, yet poignantly, giving the reader a direct line to his mind and the thoughts that simultaneously existed in the past and the present. He unapologetically details his experience as a black man from Scarborough in a way that asks for and compromises nothing, and yet, so much of what he says is relatable for anybody who has lost a family member, struggled with their place in the world, and had to overcome obstacles that they only realized were obstacles after a great deal of experience, reflection, and debate within. An excellent book.

[Richard L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars, only because (very) occasionally it felt like the writing could have been a little tighter.

But, easily a rounding up situation: this is an open-hearted, thoughtful, sensitive, intelligent, at times difficult, but entirely necessary collection of memories, reflections, and (per the title) confrontations.

Required reading for anyone remotely interested in understanding other people, and open-minded enough to meet those other people where they are, rather expecting (or demanding) that their stories are packaged tidily for lightweight, guilt-free consumption.

[Miguel Cordova · Rating 3 out of 5]

At first, this book was falling in my rating. It is a book of essays of the author's life growing up in Canada, son to a white mom and a black Jamaican dad and the influences on him on how to be a black man. Part of it is his struggle as a mixed race kid. Part of it is the influences from the US in music, sports and television/movies. I think the initial essays fell too hard on the typical stereotypes, but that were his experience. But as you read the latter essays, the book really picks up and becomes a good read.

[Marisa (Mirroredpages) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Actual Rating: 3.5 stars

Listened to audiobook

The content of this book is outstanding, it's simply the execution that was lacking. It was difficult to follow along with the stories Morris is telling because he jumps between timelines frequently, often times within similar contexts like two different times he was in school, when he was younger and then when he was older in university, but there isn't always much indication of this and it makes it difficult to follow the non-linear timeline.

[Ricardo Quijada · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an interesting perspective on a singular experience as a black boy living in Canada. How coming of age, race, sex, and identity are conflicting and warped by society, the Ontario school system, and told through Morris's own life story. It's a reminder of how racial bonderries shap black people living in Canada. Highly recommend not just teachers but all who work in the public sectors.

[Kaitlyn (ktxx22) Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book I will point people towards reading as it’s a real in depth perspective of what it’s like being a black man. Specifically one with a complicated home life but one that is filled with love. And from a young black man striving for athletic excellence and also wanting to exist as a strong man archetype. I’ve read a fair amount of these types of memoirs and I genuinely think this might be the first of this kind of perspective. A lot of people will find something in this to takeaway.

[Gabrielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Similar to Desmond Cole’s “The Skin We’re In”, this honest retelling of Matthew Morris’ life experiences as a black man - growing up in Toronto, spending some time in the US during his college years and then returning to Toronto as a teacher - gives readers insight into the complexities that shape black men, confounded by others’ perceptions and societal definitions. It was real, raw and vulnerable, and I appreciated every page.

[Kaitlyn Delano · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 - A deeply personal and unique telling of the author’s experience of growing up in Scarborough and the moving to the US for college. A necessary read, especially for those in Toronto, that brilliantly incorporates hip hop and popular culture, and their influence, into the stories in a way I’ve never seen before.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciated the author's openness in recounting his childhood and early adulthood as a Black student, athlete, and teacher in Canada and the U.S. The parts about his relationships with his family were especially touching.

[Claire Repor · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was great to be able to read about and learn from Matthew R. Morris in his first book which I hope their will be more of as he is a great writer and I wanted to keep reading as the end snuck up on me.