Gather at the Table: The Healing Journey of a Daughter of Slavery and a Son of the Slave Trade

by Thomas Norman DeWolf, Sharon Leslie Morgan

Two people—a black woman and a white man—confront the legacy of slavery and racism head-on
 
“We embarked on this journey because we believe America must overcome the racial barriers that divide us, the barriers that drive us to strike out at one another out of ignorance and fear. To do nothing is unacceptable.”
 
Sharon Leslie Morgan, a black woman from Chicago’s South Side avoids white people; they scare her. Despite her trepidation, Morgan, a descendent of slaves on both sides of her family, began a journey toward racial reconciliation with Thomas Norman DeWolf, a white man from rural Oregon who descends from the largest slave-trading dynasty in US history. Over a three-year period, the pair traveled thousands of miles, both overseas and through twenty-seven states, visiting ancestral towns, courthouses, cemeteries, plantations, antebellum mansions, and historic sites. They spent time with one another’s families and friends and engaged in deep conversations about how the lingering trauma of slavery shaped their lives.

Gather at the Table is the chronicle of DeWolf and Morgan’s journey. Arduous and at times uncomfortable, it lays bare the unhealed wounds of slavery. As DeWolf and Morgan demonstrate, before we can overcome racism we must first acknowledge and understand the damage inherited from the past—which invariably involves confronting painful truths. The result is a revelatory testament to the possibilities that open up when people commit to truth, justice, and reconciliation. DeWolf and Morgan offer readers an inspiring vision and a powerful model for healing individuals and communities.

Genres: Nonfiction, History, Memoir, Biography, Social Justice, Race, Social Issues

240 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2012

About the author

Thomas Norman DeWolf is an author, public speaker and trainer, and serves as Program Co-Manager of Coming to the Table. He is a certified trainer for Infinite Possibilities: The Art of Changing Your Life

Tom's most recent book, The Little Book of Racial Healing , co-authored with Jodie Geddes, was published by Skyhorse in January 2019. Ruth King calls it a "...rare jewel of practical wisdom shows us how to embody racial healing in truth and kinship. It reads with such ease and affinity that you will want to treasure it and share it with everyone you know."

Tom is co-author, with Sharon Leslie Morgan of Gather at the Table , published by Beacon Press in October 2012. Leymah Gbowee, 2011 Nobel Peace Laureate calls it, "an honest exploration into the deep social wounds left by racism, violence, and injustice."

Tom's first book is Inheriting the Trade (Beacon Press, 2008). Harry Smith, anchor of The Early Show on CBS said, "I cannot recommend it highly enough. The book is terrific."

To schedule Tom for a speaking engagement at your university, college, conference or other event, please click here

Reviews

[~ Jackson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I seldom comment on the books that I read, usually keeping it to a star rating, as writing is not my forte. But this book was special.

Similar in content to Tim Wise's last few books, this one comes with the added bonus of reading two different (sometimes VERY different) views on just about everything they experienced. From visiting each others homes, old neighborhoods, extended families, etc., to traveling to some of the historic places of the past, you are able to read Tom's words and then Sharon's words. Obviously, their differing backgrounds flavor their perspective.

Right before I started reading this book, I found out that one of my ancestors owned two slaves. This same ancestor, I had taken pride in because about a year ago I found out that as a lawyer he had defended abolitionists in at least two cases that I had read about. Now, I was taken aback. But out of fairness, because of the pride I felt before, I had to own the shame as well. Obviously a much harder task. I printed out a pdf copy of the slave schedule that I found on the internet, quartered it and used it as my bookmark, carefully advancing it just one page at a time, so every time I had to turn a page, I had to be reminded that their (Tom's and Sharon's)story was a part of mine as well.

While none of us could control what our ancestors did, or what was done to them, we can hope to understand the legacy of both of those worlds. This book is a terrific start in doing that. I seldom read a book in a day and a half, but I could not put this one down.

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I respect and admire this journey that DeWolf and Morgan have undertaken: to come from two opposing positions in the racial divide, and "gather at the table" in an attempt to reconcile the differences that do divide them. On a literary level, however, the book is quite uneven, and lacks the power and impact it could have had if the narrative had been stronger. At times, they seemed to be two squabbling adolescents, petulantly pursuing their own agendas. As much as this aspect lends truth to the journey, the recording of these childish disagreements, in the manner in which it is presented, detracts from the more important work that they did. It saddens me to think they could have given so much more power to their words if only a good editor had reigned them in and re-directed them to the true purpose of the book.

I am deeply moved by their journey and cannot stress enough how it affected me: I have come away, knowing for certain that if truth and reconciliation is to happen on any level, with any race, we must all gather at the table and be prepared to listen to the other's story; and be prepared to be changed by their story.

For hundreds of thousands of years, the fundamental directive for our species has been driven by the need to gather communally and eat. It is in our blood. Our DNA directs us; our psyches inform us. We are at our best, as a species, when we work toward a common goal and consume the fruits of that labour. For our ancient ancestors, it meant running down the beast, cooking it over an open flame, and consuming the body and blood in communal gratitude -- gratitude for those who had laboured to track the beast; gratitude for those who worked to prepare the meal; gratitude that there was something there to roast and kill in the first place, so that life might be sustained and extended for another week, another month. It was basic. Primal. Imperative -- both biologically and emotionally.

Throughout the centuries, we have continued to gather at the table as the safest and most nourishing aspect of our humanity. When we break bread with our friends, we share the best of what we have: by ingesting our food, our friends take a part of us into themselves and know us on a deeper, more elemental self. If we dare break bread with our "enemies" we are allowing ourselves to be vulnerable to what they may take away with them: they will have come to know us in our most basic, most vulnerable selves. We will have also shared the best part of ourselves, and by leaving ourselves open to that vulnerability, we can truly commune on the same levels of understanding.

Quite apart from the geographical journey that DeWolf and Morgan undertake, much of it is spent in sharing food. It is important to both of them that each returns to the other's home base (be it relatives, friends) to share the foods that are important to each other's cultures. I found it one of the most moving aspects of their journey: how they prepared meals for the other and made a point of being vulnerable to each other in this most fundamental way. Across the table, as bread is broken, the "enemies" defences are broken down as well as they ingest the truest part of themselves and each other.

That, in the end, is the only way to understand "the other". We all need to come to that communal table, and alternately prepare the meal for them; and ingest the meal that "the other" has prepared for us. In other words, we must open ourselves to every aspect of the other's culture in order to truly understand, and reconcile our disparate selves. This, to my mind, is the only way that racism can end: gather at the table and break bread with me.

There is an entire thesis in these thoughts, but it would only be repeating the main thought in different ways. To "gather at the table" is the movement that will make the difference in the end, if people are brave enough to undertake it. It will be painful and ugly, and it will rip your insides out, but in the end it will heal you because there is a nourishing meal waiting for you at journey's end.

[Josiah · Rating 5 out of 5]

What do a religious, naive white man from the West Coast and an agnostic, bitter biracial black woman from Chicago have in common? Besides their sense of humor, both had families deeply involved in American slavery. Tom's ancestors were one of the biggest slave trading families while Sharon's ancestors were slaves, then sharecroppers, and now semi-confined to urban ghettos. Despite these divisive issues, Sharon & Tom chose to spend more than a year working together, spending time in each other's subcultures around friends & family. Their goals were to learn more about the Other, see the reality behind the stereotypes, unearth more genealogical information, and discover whether it's actually possible to reconcile people with such bad blood between them. They were guided by a commitment to honestly face socio-racial realities in America today and by principles learned at Eastern Mennonite University's Center for Justice & Peacebuilding, Strategies for Trauma Awareness and Resilience (STAR), and Coming to the Table programs.
I can't recommend this book enough! It's especially worth reading if you are afraid to go to certain neighborhoods; if you ask yourself what the big deal is because you never did anything wrong; if you want to know whether anything can be done to heal the rift.

Plot: A
Writing: B
Vocabulary: B
Level: Easy
Worldview: Golden Rule, Christianity
Rating: PG13 (slavery, rape, murder, torture, kidnapping, family estrangement, racism, prejudice, eugenics)

This copy received for free courtesy of GoodReads FirstReads program!

[Thomas DeWolf · Rating 5 out of 5]

The writing of this book has been another life-altering experience for me, and for my co-author Sharon Leslie Morgan. It is exciting to see it on Goodreads - the first place I encountered Gather at the Table online.

Publication date was October 9. Since then, we've been on the road speaking with people at colleges, high schools, churches, museums, and other venues across the United States.

We appeared on the Melissa Harris-Perry Show on MSNBC. Gather at the Table made the "Movers & Shakers" list on Amazon, was selected as a "Favorite Current Affairs Bookseller Pick" by Barnes & Noble, AND is being recommended by Random House as a "New Freshman Year Reading Title" for colleges. Learn more here.

We are, of course, thrilled that our book is getting noticed and recommended. Our goal is to get it "out there" in the world, and look forward to hearing back from readers.

[Beverly · Rating 5 out of 5]

My thoughts:
• At first I was leery of reading this book because of the complexity of the issues/barriers on the effects of the legacy of slavery but was still curious on what was encountered on the journey between DeWolf and Morgan and even more curious on what each of their thoughts would be at the end of the journey.
• I believe that honest communication between both sides of an issue is a necessary element for any complex issues, especially a deeply emotional issue where rooted/biased assumptions exist. And honest communication needs effective listening. And by effective listening I mean not just listening to the other side to formulate your arguments against what the opposition is saying but listening to understand their reasons for their pain/arguments especially for emotional and social perceptions which is based in that person’s reality. To acknowledge what the other person is saying/feeling/believing and that it is not most important to prove the other person/side wrong but to acknowledge each side and figure out how to move forward with an effective solution and not hopefully not repeat the errors from prior solutions.
• The value of this book for me is that DeWolf and Morgan did have honest communications and effectively listened to each other. Both were predisposed to this because of involvement in finding a way to overcome racial barriers. Their approach to learning/understanding each other was up close and personal as they traveled together as they met each other families, became involved in the researching of each other’s ancestors, visited historical places dealing with slavery and shared past experiences why they have the racial opinions that they have.
• The book is quick paced well-written book and once I started reading I did not want to put down. Though at times the transitions seemed a little choppy this did not distract from my overall appreciation for this book.
• Everyone reading this book will bring their own racial experiences/opinions and some will be more versed in the issues discussed while for others this may be their first foray into a discussion that defines US. I learned some things, I smiled at some comments, shook my head at others, but in the end was glad I read this book. Great beginning book to start the discussion about what is historical fact and what is an opinion believed to be fact.
• This is a great book club read and I would recommend to all Americans and this should be required reading in high schools.
• I am going to buy this book for my daughter and her family.

[Sharon Orlopp · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend this book! Unique true journey of a white man whose ancestors were among the largest slaveowners and a black woman whose ancestors were slaves.

Their three year travel journey across America is raw, transparent and poignant. It also gives each of us ideas about having open dialogue about race.

[Monica · Rating 5 out of 5]

The first thing about this book that pops into my head is wow; this should be more widely read. This is basically a journalling of thoughts and feelings of two people searching for ways to address racism in the US with a sprinkling of little known history mixed in to help us all learn where we as a country have been. It ends up being much more affecting than I expected. Full disclosure, my point of view is that of a middle aged, middle class, African-American woman. I was deeply moved by Sharon and Tom. At the beginning of the book Sharon came off to me as bitter, paranoid and a little extreme in her vision of race relations in the US. At the beginning of the book, Tom struck me as overly sensitive and understanding. His view of the world seemed a little more understanding of the existence racism than I generally see in typical white America. In other words (my interpretation of him): "If we could only just communicate more and listen to each other, we can resolve racism". As these two travel to sites of historical reference worldwide, throughout the book, the reader can tell that these authors did not travel and then write the book. They wrote as they went along. There are subtle differences in the phrasing of passages and in their interpretation of events as they went on. More allowances for seeing other points of view. By the end of the book, the authors had changed. Sharon seems less angry as she sees Tom's understanding grow. She sees proof that there can be understanding if people genuinely seek answers. Tom in the end is less hopeful. His journey allowed him to see that the problems are larger than he had ever imagined. I admit that by the end of the book I had an affinity and affection for Sharon, whom I think feels the wounds of racism very deeply. I also ended up with a great appreciation for Tom who was far more willing than most(in my experience)to look at Americans and recognize that there are a great many paradigms built into the system that benefit one group over all others based upon race. He also recognizes a huge, societal/cultural denial that those benefits exist in the effort to preserve them. There are very few resolutions in this book, mostly just observations. As we witness the transformation of these two in the book, we can recognize that basically it's one step at a time or more directly, one person at a time. A very rich and rewarding book that was far deeper than its overall length would imply.

Edited to Add: This was my favorite nonfiction read in 2013

[Ageena · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won't say I agree with everything they said but I do absolutely agree with their idea that to truly go on from something tragic those affected by it need to talk about it and feel the emotions and then they can move through them. I find it ironic that the woman is a black NRA gun toting liberal, it was nice to see acknowledgement that Planned Parenthood is founded on genocide of black people. The authors are a bit myopic in that they think only black people have suffered in this country or that suffering has only occurred on basis of race, I'd like to send them a copy of Mask of Benevolence. But all in all there is a lot of good here and I can see it leading me on a rabbit trail of books to read. I think their victim/agressor circle is spot on, so often I have seen this played out, not just in race issues but in church issues and in personal issues as well. If you have any interest at all in race in America and how it's still playing out to this day this is a good read, a fast read and kudos to the authors for deciding that they were tired of being stuck where they were.

[Tanya · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hmmm, this was interesting reading and a noble project - a black woman and white man from oppositional ancestries trying to come together and find understanding - but it was also a little frustrating. I felt like Tom DeWolf bends over backward to not only empathize, but to take blame for anything Sharon Morgan wants to throw his way. She is a self-proclaimed "angry black woman" who admits she doesn't like white people, and sees the cause of every bad thing that has ever happened to her or any person of color in history as a direct result of white oppression. I didn't feel that she was making much of an attempt to understand Tom's perspective, but only to convince him everything was all his fault.

Is my reaction defensive? I'm sure it is. As a white person, I benefit from all the systemic privileges accorded to my race, and haven't had to deal with any of the crap shoveled in front of minorities trying to climb out of the pit in which they may have begun. I really try to recognize the unfairness of what has gone before, and what is today, but I also believe it's counterproductive to give personal incentive and action such a small role. Easy for me to say? Probably. But history is full of oppressors and oppressed, and those filling those roles have changed with time (and without any government stepping in to enforce reparations). You are not doomed to be forever where you started.

That being said, we need to fix things going forward (for instance, grossly disproportionate rates of incarceration). We need to learn about past wrongs, but we also need to move beyond them, rather than hanging our entire world view and self-identity on a terrible thing that was perpetuated through generations past. But "coming to the table" is a good first step.

3.5 stars.

[Hillary Peterson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book gave me lots of difficult, important things to think about, and I appreciated the authenticity and vulnerability of the authors. On the other hand, the book skipped around in place and time in a way that was difficult to follow, and I was never entirely clear about what the authors hoped to accomplish.

[Liz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Tom DeWolf, descendant of a slave trading family, and Sharon Morgan, descendant of enslaved people, traveled together around the US and beyond, getting to know each other's families and cultures, visiting historical locations connected to slavery, as well as visiting areas their respective ancestors lived. The narrative sometimes alternates between their perspectives, and sometimes joins to tell their shared truth. I had the pleasure of attending a talk by the authors while reading this book, which brought a fuller dimension to the story.

The work of the authors and the organization Coming to the Table is extremely important if our country is ever to heal from the shameful parts of our history. I recommend this book to all white Americans, but especially to descendants of enslavers. We are not responsible for the actions of our ancestors, but we are responsible for acknowledging the toxic, generational impacts of slavery, and how we personally may have benefitted (such as inherited wealth and white privilege), as well as the long history of denial and deflection practiced by whites ("the slaves weren't treated that badly" "they were glad to be taken care of" etc. etc. ad nauseam) as a cover for their fear.

[Esther Bradley-detally · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gather at the Table is a book about the Healing Journey of a Daughter of Slavery and a Son of the Slave Trade. Tomas Norman DeWolf and Sharon Leslie Morgan are the authors. Sharon is a first cousin of Renee Dixon who was a long-time member of the Pasadena Community, now living in Arcadia, CA.

Sharon Leslie Morgan, a black woman from Chicago's South Side, avoids white people; they scare her. Despite her trepidation, Morgan, a descendant of slaves on both sides of her family, began a journey toward racial reconciliation with Thomas Norman DeWolf, a white man from rural Oregon, a descendant from the largest and most profitable slave-holding dynasty in U.S. History.

Over a 3-year period, Morgan and DeWolf traveled thousands of miles, both overseas and through 27 states, visiting ancestral towns, courthouse, cemeteries, plantations, antebellum mansions, and historic sites. They spent time with one another's families and friends and engaged in deep conversation about how the lingering trauma of slavery shaped their lives.

In their book tours, they speak about their journey: arduous and at times uncomfortable. They lay bare the unhealed wounds of slavery. They demonstrate that before we can overcome racism, we must first acknowledge and understand the damage inherited from the past-which invariably involves confronting painful truths. The result is a revelatory testament to the possibilities that open up when people commit to truth, justice, and reconciliation. DeWolf and Morgan offer readers an inspiring vision and a power model for healing individuals and communities.

Their Journey is beginning to have a tremendous impact upon our society, and I would urge anyone and everyone to try to attend their presentations. You will not be disappointed.

Friends this is a solution to the Most Vital and Challenging issue of our day, and we Baha'is will be heartened and galvanized and able to put our thoughts and feelings into action.

Resources, information: STAR: Strategies for Trauma Awareness & Resilience (www.emu.edu/star/), Coming to the Table (www.comingtothetable.org/), Our Black Ancestry (www.ourblack ancestry.com), Inheriting the Trade (http://inheritingthetrade.com/) and Gather At the Table (www.gatheratthetable.net).

Sharon Leslie Morgan is a marketing communications consultant, a nationally recognized pioneer in multicultural marketing and a founder of the National Black Public Relations Society. An avid genealogist, she blogs extensively, leads workshops on African-American family history, and is the webmasters for OurBlackAncestry.com.

Thomas Norman DeWolf, author of Inheriting the Trade, is featured in the Emmy-nominated documentary Traces of the Trade, which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival and on the acclaimed PBS series POV. DeWolf speaks regularly about healing from the legacy of slavery and racism at colleges, conferences, and workshops throughout the United States.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book after hearing a lecture the authors Tom and Sharon gave in Pasadena. I finished it tonight after going to the Museum of Tolerance in L.A. Needless to say I am more than a little angry and disillusioned with American society. I am also taking a cultural diversity class (the reason I attended the lecture in the first place) for my graduate program at APU. I liked to think that I was pretty aware of racial disparity despite growing up in a tiny town in Nor Cal whose population was overwhelmingly white, because my parents were listeners of NPR and I had several awesome forward thinking teachers in high school. However, between my class and this book I have become painfully aware of how much I don't see. So to get to the point. This book was super informative. I liked hearing about Tom and Sharon's background as well as their journey together. I do wish there had been more concrete things for us to DO. They strongly advocate The Gather at the Table project, which makes sense since they are both super involved with it. All in all the book is a good place to START but then I think you have to go on and learn more, I got lucky because I'm already taking a class on this stuff and the Prof has done an excellent job of teaching us conveniently blind white people about how privileged we really are, but for those of you who aren't so lucky I would look for a follow up for this book.

[Dnicebear · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book--better than any reality show could be, because it's so real--begs to be read.

A black woman and a white man, who both, yes, were youths during the Civil Rights movement, and who desire peace (i.e. racial justice, awareness of racism and non-violence in families) but are kind of cynical about it happening, let peace begin with them. They travel together, introducing the other to their families and where they grew up, and they visit cemeteries and do genealogical research. The coldness and mistrust that surfaces at first, and rightly so, given that four centuries of slavery and racism affect all people, both black and white, turn into a meaningful working relationship and an engaging story. I read the book in one day when a winter storm kept me home, and I am inspired to wonder what more I can do now to contribute to the healing.

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that provides a list of other books you want to read.

I enjoyed the transparency offered by each author. What a difficult part of oneself and the world around us to expose to the world. I am inspired to think of how I might do more of the same.

This topic seems to me to be one that is bottomless. Whether looking inward or outward to understand fully the places in us that allow racism, cruelty, bias and oppression doesn't seem possible. It appears that it will always be a journey.

Sharon and Tom - thank you!

[Jennie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gather at the Table has resonated so well with me that I find it to be a perfect supplement to the racial equity work we are doing in my district. I have passed the book on to my supervisor who will hopefully approve the purchase of this book for everyone in our department to read. Sharon and Tom, I admire your courageous journey and hope it will inspire others to find their own journey partners. Thank you for writing this book.

[Lizzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone. The two author's confront, head-on, the enduring legacy of slavery in the United States. We are trained not to talk about these issues outside of a classroom setting because "its in the past."

[Kim B · Rating 5 out of 5]

The authors have attempted to walk in each other's shoes to see and if possible feel the different life and circumstances both have inherited as the result of the slave trade.

[Dera · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review coming shortly.

[Nadine · Rating 1 out of 5]

Did not finish. It was boring.

[Christy Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would normally give this a 4 as I really liked it, though am not sure I would say amazing, but any book that keeps me up til 1 AM to finish should get an extra star.

The personal stories of Morgan and DeWolf and their journey together from strangers to exploring race and their respective family histories together and the collective racist U.S. history through travel to one another's homes, visits with friends, exploring U.S. historical sites and cemeteries and genealogical records while having frequently difficult conversations felt like a challenging project of huge significance for deeper confrontation of race in America and its legacy on all Americans. Finding ways to confront our own history and identities, the stories we tell and are told, is an undertaking too few would be willing to face with such depth and openness, not only in approaching our own feelings, but in seeking to understand where another is coming from. Coming to terms with racism and race necessitate a willingness to endure the discomfort of emotions and conversation that are not easy, but the personal is the foundation of the collective and the collective is too often glossed over or hidden.

On second thought, this really was amazing. It is amazingly hard to work with the instinctive body response to shut down and protect against discomfort. Finding the courage to stay aware, stay open and not distance ourselves from the realities of past and present, over and over to return when it is not easy, is the essential work of healing. Truth telling and awareness along with a willingness to hear another's story, see and believe the experience and history, is the basis and hope of any authentic relationship. We need these sorts of relationships for any move forward in restoring so much harm.

[Drick · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book chronicles the relationship between Sharon (a black woman) and Tom (a white man) and their travels together to various sites related to the history of slavery. They met while participating in the racial reconciliation organization Coming to the Table (CTT). The book is authored by both of them, and intersperses their thoughts and actions in each chapter during a one month journey primarily thru the South to cemeteries, museums, plantations and other place where their histories intertwined as the descendants of a slave and of a slave trader. Their honest responses and reflections bring to life the challenge facing African Americans and Whites coming to a common understanding of their history and share legacies.

While the book is easy to read and engaging, at the end I was left with a great number of questions about the way forward for and whites in the U.S. Tom confesses at the end that he is less hopeful than when he started, but that his hope lies in the relationships of shared struggle and understanding as a result of his relationship with Sharon and involvement in CTT. In some ways the book feels like a plug for CTT, but then does not really help the reader know how to get involved. While there is a great deal of information on the CTT website, that too is less than clear in what the next steps are.

Perhaps that is the answer - there is no clear formula or path. As the authors stress repeatedly the work of racial reconciliation is based in relationships and the book is one example of how that might work.

[Lisa Roney · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book--and I thoroughly support its mission--but I expected to be more engaged in the story it told. There are a lot of good things about it, so it's taken me a while, and I'm still not sure I've put my fingers exactly on what I felt was missing. But I think it has to do with the rather standard, sterile voice that the book is written in. There are sections that are supposedly narrated by each of the authors individually, but they both just sounded the same. Every now and then a little bit of Sharon Morgan's voice edged in and was a welcome change, but if felt as though the deepest emotions and the individual personalities were edited down to a nubbin in order to convey the goals of the organization (Coming to the Table) that they were involved with.

That said, I still believe the book is worth a read. And many of the anecdotes told about extended family on both sides show the challenges that still exist to healing the racial divides in the U.S. It's a worthwhile, if not urgently fascinating, book.

[Angie]

From the final chapter: "We can't go back into history and correct the damage at its root, but we can learn from history, walk forward, and influence the future." This is what I had hoped to find in this book, but I was disappointed to find that other than forming an unlikely friendship (which is certainly a good thing), both authors seem to be more focused on the wounds of the past than on walking forward.

Although this book has been on my list to read for several years, I'm glad I didn't pick it up until after reading slave narratives with my book group a couple years ago. All three wrote of the atrocities of slavery as they had experienced them, but what they wrote of their later lives shows that they did not focus on their sorrows but rather walked forward to influence the future.

[Jim Cavenaugh · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a powerful book that improved my understanding of the need for black-white healing immensely. Tom DeWolf and Sharon Morgan pull no punches, and learning of times in the journey when one or the other was angry makes the book more believable.
Her anger at the continuing indignities she suffers because she is black is all-too-understandable, and the idea that we white people understand racism occasionally while she and other people of color have to live with racism 24 x 7 carries a lot of weight -- makes me want to devote my waking hour to anti-racism, to try to heal the wounds this country suffers from.

[Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I admire the bravery it took for both Sharon and Tom to unpack their historical trauma together. I was initially frustrated by the structure of the book, but about halfway through I realized each of their stories unfolded in the way a naturally budding relationship might open up as barriers are navigated and vulnerabilities exposed. By the time I finished, I came away with a list of books I want to read to either gain a better historical context of slavery and events that happened during the slave trade in the Americas or to understand how to participate in racial justice work.

[Korin: A Crone Running Amok · Rating 5 out of 5]

He’s the descendent of slave-owners, she the descendent of slaves. Together they will take a journey through both their histories. They will face the legacy of slavery & how it has impacted their lives as well as the history of our country. They will dare to expose racism & how that impacted them as well. They will visit each other’s family & friends. They will visit important places in history both public & private. But most importantly Thomas DeWolf & Sharon Morgan will learn to trust eac other & to heal each other.

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book brought to light that I’m not alone in my thought process and how I manifest the trauma of this awful history. The co-author Sharon’s experiences and reactions seems to mirror exactly how I feel about race relations and this tainted history of ours. Healing is such a long process and I just wish we could all just get along, but it’s so much more complex than that. So complex that I’m sometimes skeptical about whether our nation could ever fully heal this massive wound.

[Pamela · Rating 3 out of 5]

The subject matter and the two authors journeys are 5 stars,this book will make you think about racism in this country from a very different perspective. The reason I gave it 3 stars was because it was a tough read, it read more like a diary or text book, especially in the beginning. Toward middle and end it was an easier read . I would recommend this book though to learn a different perspective on racism in our country and the world.

[MykeWeber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truthful!

I was disappointed that in the end the answers aren’t that simple. I guess I really didn’t expect them to be. There was a ton a food for thought and I was committed by the end to seek ways to do my part in bridging the gaps and disparity in the lives of everyone! The system is rigged and needs to be changed or decommissioned. That’s for sure. I don’t ever want to be considered racist, but if I do nothing, I’m afraid that is just what I’ll be.