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How to Succeed in Evil #1
Consultation With a Vampire
The Parsec-Award Winning How to Succeed in Evil series has sold over 10,000 copies, garnered 200+ positive reviews on Amazon and had over 53,000+ audiobook downloads.
"Like Douglas Adams writing Superheroes!"
Edwin, Evil Efficiency Consultant is approached by a vampire, who offers him the prospect of eternal life if Edwin will help him with the troubles the modern world has presented his kind. It's Edwin versus Nosferatu in this insightful satire of the highly exploited vampire genre. Novella-length, 27,000 words
How to Succeed in Evil is the continuing saga of Edwin Windsor and Associates, Evil Efficiency consultants, who strive, against all odds, to make their megalo- and ego-maniacal clients more villainous and profitable. If you’ve ever wondered why villains make such bad choices. If you think a loving satire of both superheroes and consulting is long-overdue, this is the series for you.
"Like Douglas Adams writing Superheroes!"
Edwin, Evil Efficiency Consultant is approached by a vampire, who offers him the prospect of eternal life if Edwin will help him with the troubles the modern world has presented his kind. It's Edwin versus Nosferatu in this insightful satire of the highly exploited vampire genre. Novella-length, 27,000 words
How to Succeed in Evil is the continuing saga of Edwin Windsor and Associates, Evil Efficiency consultants, who strive, against all odds, to make their megalo- and ego-maniacal clients more villainous and profitable. If you’ve ever wondered why villains make such bad choices. If you think a loving satire of both superheroes and consulting is long-overdue, this is the series for you.
71 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 14, 2012
26 people are currently reading
167 people want to read
About the author
Patrick E. McLean
14 books156 followersPatrick's work ranges from the autobiographical, to the absurd and fantastic. Describing himself as a "writer raised by Economists" his perspective on the world is naturally unusual. From violent revenge and musings on the value of life from a character who is dead (Unkillable) to the rage and frustration of a consultant who grows so sick of having his advice ignored that he decides to take over the world (How to Succeed in Evil) Patrick's work is high-concept, penetrating satire that manages twists and turns while never shorting true psychological insight into fascinating characters caught in desperate situations.
In 2005, feeling that "he wasn't putting any torque through the axle of the world" he started the Seanachai podcast (http://www.theseanachai.com) He wrote and produced an original short story or essay every week for a year.
Among his influences, Patrick cites Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, Mark Helprin, S.J. Perleman, H.L. Mencken, Albert Jay Nock, Hafiz, Homer and George RR Martin.
In 2005, feeling that "he wasn't putting any torque through the axle of the world" he started the Seanachai podcast (http://www.theseanachai.com) He wrote and produced an original short story or essay every week for a year.
Among his influences, Patrick cites Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, Mark Helprin, S.J. Perleman, H.L. Mencken, Albert Jay Nock, Hafiz, Homer and George RR Martin.
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
January 18, 2012
Amazing follow-up to How To Succeed in Evil. My only complaint (and it's a minor one), is that the continuity is kind of funky from the first book to this one.
Perhaps an explanation of where this novella fits into the timeline is in order.
Perhaps an explanation of where this novella fits into the timeline is in order.
December 19, 2012
loved this to BITS
funny as hell
short and sweet
vampires are no match for this consultant :)
ha!
funny as hell
short and sweet
vampires are no match for this consultant :)
ha!
August 11, 2020
So, to save time, I'm going to review all 3 books in this series at once. Book 1 is 4.5 stars but I rounded up because this is the first book I've discovered on the internet that has an artificially deflated score. Usually it works the other way with discerning readers not bothering to leave reviews of books they dislike. Here, somehow, Mr. McLean has found more than his fair share of poor reviewers.
Book 2 is 3 stars because, while Mr. McLean maintains plotting and story-telling standards, I found the story resolution weak. It looked to me as if book one was written as a stand-alone book that was good enough to deserve a sequel whereas book 2 was written with an eye to book 3.
Book 3 is 4 stars- good story telling but, because of familiarity with the characters by this point in time the big reveal was predictable, but enjoyable.
Mr. McLean hits my personal sweet spot with a highly competent MC, Edwin Windsor, a consultant to supervillains who tires of explaining to his clients why space-based lasers are financially impractical. Mr. Windsor is all brain and very little heart, his only attachment being to his former governess, now assistant, who is as competent as she is insistent on serving tea to all clients. Mr. Windsor's only real friend is his lawyer, Topper. Topper is 4' 4" and a half but hates it when anyone points out that fact. Topper is a hard charging criminal defense attorney who doesn't hesitate to pay a hooker or do a line of coke when not on the job. In essence Topper, while smart, is the opposite of Windsor, being more heart, and general zest for life. Topper only uses as much brain as he needs to win, because Topper really loves to win and doesn't care if he has to use a gun, or a rocket launcher, to do so.
In book one, Topper is approached (and kidnapped) by vampires as they have been unable to get Windsor by phone at night. These are your typical haughty, "we were European nobility" type vampires who refuse to realize that hunting for their own food essentially makes them peasants, even when Windsor spells it out for them. The vampires, like so many of his other clients, only listen to Windsor until they realize he isn't going to just tell them what they want to hear. This puts Windsor, and Topper, in the dangerous position of being the focus of some very insistent vampires. Worse, the vampires don't have bank accounts so now Windsor also has to take payment in gold.
In book 2 Windsor is consulted by "Dr. Loeb", a typical mad scientist type, whose only super power is money. After explaining to Dr. Loeb the many barriers, including financial, to placing laser in space, it comes out that Dr. Loeb is really just acting out against his overbearing and outrageously rich mother. Seeing an opportunity for profit Windsor heads to Alabama only to discover that Loeb's mother is crazier yet since the mother appears to be intent on restarting the Civil War so as to bring Southern manners and sweet tea to the rest of the nation. Windsor, true to form, explains to dear old mom how to leverage her assets to become even wealthier, without the dangers of a new Civil War. Of course the mad mother is displeased with such practical advice and imprisons Windsor, this initiating the protocols Windsor has arranged with his assistant, meaning a new hand-made custom suit is ordered since the one Windsor is currently wearing almost certainly won't survive.
In book 3 Windsor and Topper have gained control of a remarkably powerful, yet stupid, super, Cromoglodon. This leads them to take over an insurance company and turn it into the only insurance company in the world willing to insure against supers. Of course any corporation not buying their insurance is visited by Cromoglodon and so the company has an unprecedented period of expansion without a single claim every being filed. That is until the government decides to attack Windsor's pocket book and sends "heroes" to destroy factories insured by his company. Further, the humdrum of running an insurance company drives Topper crazy, especially when it is repeatedly made clear to him that this really is Windsor's company. Concerned that Windsor is losing himself in the company, Topper convinces himself to cooperate with the feds in removing Windsor.
Bottom line: All three books are witty and well plotted. Easily worth the read.
Book 2 is 3 stars because, while Mr. McLean maintains plotting and story-telling standards, I found the story resolution weak. It looked to me as if book one was written as a stand-alone book that was good enough to deserve a sequel whereas book 2 was written with an eye to book 3.
Book 3 is 4 stars- good story telling but, because of familiarity with the characters by this point in time the big reveal was predictable, but enjoyable.
Mr. McLean hits my personal sweet spot with a highly competent MC, Edwin Windsor, a consultant to supervillains who tires of explaining to his clients why space-based lasers are financially impractical. Mr. Windsor is all brain and very little heart, his only attachment being to his former governess, now assistant, who is as competent as she is insistent on serving tea to all clients. Mr. Windsor's only real friend is his lawyer, Topper. Topper is 4' 4" and a half but hates it when anyone points out that fact. Topper is a hard charging criminal defense attorney who doesn't hesitate to pay a hooker or do a line of coke when not on the job. In essence Topper, while smart, is the opposite of Windsor, being more heart, and general zest for life. Topper only uses as much brain as he needs to win, because Topper really loves to win and doesn't care if he has to use a gun, or a rocket launcher, to do so.
In book one, Topper is approached (and kidnapped) by vampires as they have been unable to get Windsor by phone at night. These are your typical haughty, "we were European nobility" type vampires who refuse to realize that hunting for their own food essentially makes them peasants, even when Windsor spells it out for them. The vampires, like so many of his other clients, only listen to Windsor until they realize he isn't going to just tell them what they want to hear. This puts Windsor, and Topper, in the dangerous position of being the focus of some very insistent vampires. Worse, the vampires don't have bank accounts so now Windsor also has to take payment in gold.
In book 2 Windsor is consulted by "Dr. Loeb", a typical mad scientist type, whose only super power is money. After explaining to Dr. Loeb the many barriers, including financial, to placing laser in space, it comes out that Dr. Loeb is really just acting out against his overbearing and outrageously rich mother. Seeing an opportunity for profit Windsor heads to Alabama only to discover that Loeb's mother is crazier yet since the mother appears to be intent on restarting the Civil War so as to bring Southern manners and sweet tea to the rest of the nation. Windsor, true to form, explains to dear old mom how to leverage her assets to become even wealthier, without the dangers of a new Civil War. Of course the mad mother is displeased with such practical advice and imprisons Windsor, this initiating the protocols Windsor has arranged with his assistant, meaning a new hand-made custom suit is ordered since the one Windsor is currently wearing almost certainly won't survive.
In book 3 Windsor and Topper have gained control of a remarkably powerful, yet stupid, super, Cromoglodon. This leads them to take over an insurance company and turn it into the only insurance company in the world willing to insure against supers. Of course any corporation not buying their insurance is visited by Cromoglodon and so the company has an unprecedented period of expansion without a single claim every being filed. That is until the government decides to attack Windsor's pocket book and sends "heroes" to destroy factories insured by his company. Further, the humdrum of running an insurance company drives Topper crazy, especially when it is repeatedly made clear to him that this really is Windsor's company. Concerned that Windsor is losing himself in the company, Topper convinces himself to cooperate with the feds in removing Windsor.
Bottom line: All three books are witty and well plotted. Easily worth the read.
May 6, 2017
While a short read, the characters and tone made for entertaining reading. I'd prefer more care taken with the formatting. There was one chapter for the entire novel titled 'Proofed'. This together with a lack of scene breaks between POVs made for some distraction to the narrative, but it was an entertaining read nonetheless.
August 8, 2019
I actually read this before #2 but the order does not seen to make a difference.
Great take-down of the current trend of vampire novels, just wish it was longer
Recommended for a quick read
Great take-down of the current trend of vampire novels, just wish it was longer
Recommended for a quick read
March 14, 2017
This is my ideal job haha. That very similar jobs actually exist is not quite ideal
April 10, 2016
I’ve finally decided to return to one of my very favorite narrators.
After The Merchant Adventurer, I knew that while I will (and have) most definitely return to that listen, there is but one first time.
I found that there are only three Patrick McLean books ready for my listening consumption on Audible, and I have to space them out like savoring chocolate melting on my tongue.
But lately, I’ve had a hankerin’.
Nowhere else have I found such a broad range of voices (except for maybe full audio productions and Robin Williams on a lovely rant).
After reading the reviews for this one, it’s obvious that the best way to enjoy Patrick McLean is to hear Patrick McLean.
For all those critical reviews begging for more, it’s a novella, guys. It’s a short, entertaining prequel. It’s supposed to be that way.
Even though I truly loved the story and want more myself, I do not want to read the story. I want Mr. McLean to tell me the story. So I'll have to wait for more How to Succeed in Evil.
I haven’t experienced any other book in this series. But apparently, others think the rest of them are even better than this little slice. Alas, I’ll just have to wait. I’ll have to adopt the patience of a vampire. (Wait, maybe I should kidnap Mr. McLean’s lawyer to get what I want. Hmmmm.)
I love the completely opposite take on vampires here. I mean, the idea of the vampire was a story that was supposed to scare the bejesus out of us, right? Then comes the twentieth century and the vision of the sexy, undeniable vampire. Then comes the twenty- first century where vampires love and sparkle.
Dark Shadows, the tv show is a bit before my time, but Johnny Depp’s version caught me because, well, Johnny Depp. And all I could see when hearing Barnabas was Johnny’s over the top make up and outdated assumptions of the world.
Part of me wondered, really sat and wondered, would a vampire have such a hard time adjusting? I mean, even though he’s lived a long time, how hard is it really to roll with the times, especially when you have the time to learn all kinds of things. OK, I’m still rolling that one over in my head.
At the end of the day, all I have to say is, just listen to Mr. McLean. That’s amazing in itself.
After The Merchant Adventurer, I knew that while I will (and have) most definitely return to that listen, there is but one first time.
I found that there are only three Patrick McLean books ready for my listening consumption on Audible, and I have to space them out like savoring chocolate melting on my tongue.
But lately, I’ve had a hankerin’.
Nowhere else have I found such a broad range of voices (except for maybe full audio productions and Robin Williams on a lovely rant).
After reading the reviews for this one, it’s obvious that the best way to enjoy Patrick McLean is to hear Patrick McLean.
For all those critical reviews begging for more, it’s a novella, guys. It’s a short, entertaining prequel. It’s supposed to be that way.
Even though I truly loved the story and want more myself, I do not want to read the story. I want Mr. McLean to tell me the story. So I'll have to wait for more How to Succeed in Evil.
I haven’t experienced any other book in this series. But apparently, others think the rest of them are even better than this little slice. Alas, I’ll just have to wait. I’ll have to adopt the patience of a vampire. (Wait, maybe I should kidnap Mr. McLean’s lawyer to get what I want. Hmmmm.)
I love the completely opposite take on vampires here. I mean, the idea of the vampire was a story that was supposed to scare the bejesus out of us, right? Then comes the twentieth century and the vision of the sexy, undeniable vampire. Then comes the twenty- first century where vampires love and sparkle.
Dark Shadows, the tv show is a bit before my time, but Johnny Depp’s version caught me because, well, Johnny Depp. And all I could see when hearing Barnabas was Johnny’s over the top make up and outdated assumptions of the world.
Part of me wondered, really sat and wondered, would a vampire have such a hard time adjusting? I mean, even though he’s lived a long time, how hard is it really to roll with the times, especially when you have the time to learn all kinds of things. OK, I’m still rolling that one over in my head.
At the end of the day, all I have to say is, just listen to Mr. McLean. That’s amazing in itself.
February 19, 2014
More like 4.5 stars, really.
This novella prequel to How to Succeed in Evil continues in the same vein that McLean established in the original story.
In Consultation With a Vampire, hedonist lawyer extraordinaire Topper Haggleblatt is kidnapped and used as a hostage by a pair of vampires who want to engage Edwin Windsor's services.
Vampires, it seems, are having trouble living in their traditional ways in this era of security cameras, smart phones, and street lights.
Though the vampires' tricks of mesmerism and intimidation fail to persuade Edwin, he agrees to take their job for a large quantity of money.
Edwin's cold logical mind and intellect is pitted against the cold blood and hot appetites of the creatures of the night, and the resulting clashes don't fail to amuse.
Like the novel, the text here takes itself quite seriously. In effect, the book is its own straight man, relaying absurdity, humor, irony and everything else with self important gravitas.
There are also several nods to the novel. They don't give anything away, but readers who have already finished HTSIE will notice and appreciate them. Those reading the stories in chronological rather than publishing order will perhaps think back to CWaV and see the foreshadowing.
This novella prequel to How to Succeed in Evil continues in the same vein that McLean established in the original story.
In Consultation With a Vampire, hedonist lawyer extraordinaire Topper Haggleblatt is kidnapped and used as a hostage by a pair of vampires who want to engage Edwin Windsor's services.
Vampires, it seems, are having trouble living in their traditional ways in this era of security cameras, smart phones, and street lights.
Though the vampires' tricks of mesmerism and intimidation fail to persuade Edwin, he agrees to take their job for a large quantity of money.
Edwin's cold logical mind and intellect is pitted against the cold blood and hot appetites of the creatures of the night, and the resulting clashes don't fail to amuse.
Like the novel, the text here takes itself quite seriously. In effect, the book is its own straight man, relaying absurdity, humor, irony and everything else with self important gravitas.
There are also several nods to the novel. They don't give anything away, but readers who have already finished HTSIE will notice and appreciate them. Those reading the stories in chronological rather than publishing order will perhaps think back to CWaV and see the foreshadowing.
August 27, 2015
I really enjoyed this interlude story to How to Succeed in Evil.
Agnes was in perfect form. Topper was his normal offensive self but had to deal with a blow to his emotions (who would have thought that he was even vulnerable!). But the real gem in the story was Edwin Windsor. He shows, with beautiful efficiency just how good of an Evil Efficiency Consultant he is. I would love to see more of these interludes as this story shows just a small nugget of Edwin’s evil potential.
While there are some rehashing of details from the main How to Succeed in Evil story, it actually provides good background for a reader who is unfamiliar with the base story. So much so that this is makes a great stand alone story. As usual, the author makes sweet, sweet love to the English language as much of this story is lyrical and on the verge of poetry (with just enough offensiveness to make it humorous). A really beautiful balance.
My favorite bits:
"'Oh Good Lord!' Agnes said. Confident that God would condone the use of blasphemy as a defense against barbarism"
"At that moment he felt like he could have convinced any jury anywhere in the world of anything. But even that power was to no avail. Topper knew that women’s hearts do not admit the logic of the courtroom. They are persuaded by more primal magic than eloquence and the law."
Agnes was in perfect form. Topper was his normal offensive self but had to deal with a blow to his emotions (who would have thought that he was even vulnerable!). But the real gem in the story was Edwin Windsor. He shows, with beautiful efficiency just how good of an Evil Efficiency Consultant he is. I would love to see more of these interludes as this story shows just a small nugget of Edwin’s evil potential.
While there are some rehashing of details from the main How to Succeed in Evil story, it actually provides good background for a reader who is unfamiliar with the base story. So much so that this is makes a great stand alone story. As usual, the author makes sweet, sweet love to the English language as much of this story is lyrical and on the verge of poetry (with just enough offensiveness to make it humorous). A really beautiful balance.
My favorite bits:
"'Oh Good Lord!' Agnes said. Confident that God would condone the use of blasphemy as a defense against barbarism"
"At that moment he felt like he could have convinced any jury anywhere in the world of anything. But even that power was to no avail. Topper knew that women’s hearts do not admit the logic of the courtroom. They are persuaded by more primal magic than eloquence and the law."
May 4, 2012
Particularly at the beginning - when it spends several pages describing a man standing on a balcony, then suddenly informs us, when he goes inside, that he is seven feet tall - this story tends to take three sentences to say what could be said in one. It's grandiose, and for a humorous tale certainly seems to take itself extremely seriously.
It's a bit like the eponymous vampire in that way.
I mostly ended up forgiving this because it was a well-turned story, though I spotted the ending a mile off. The eccentric characters are amusing, though certainly ill-assorted (I never quite believed that the efficient Edwin Windsor would choose an angry, anarchic dwarf as his lawyer).
All in all, I'm caught between enjoying its strengths and being very conscious of its flaws. Strengths win, I think, though not by enough that I'll seek out the rest of the series.
It's a bit like the eponymous vampire in that way.
I mostly ended up forgiving this because it was a well-turned story, though I spotted the ending a mile off. The eccentric characters are amusing, though certainly ill-assorted (I never quite believed that the efficient Edwin Windsor would choose an angry, anarchic dwarf as his lawyer).
All in all, I'm caught between enjoying its strengths and being very conscious of its flaws. Strengths win, I think, though not by enough that I'll seek out the rest of the series.
June 4, 2015
A good start
Book 1 is the second book I have read in this series. It concerns the business of Edwin Windsor, a consultant to villains, along with his secretary Agnes and his lawyer Topper. In this adventure Edwin deals with a couple of 300 year-old French vampires. Along the way we are treated to a humorous perspective on the temptations of eternal life by Mr McLean, who is indeed a smart ass of the highest order.
Book 1 is the second book I have read in this series. It concerns the business of Edwin Windsor, a consultant to villains, along with his secretary Agnes and his lawyer Topper. In this adventure Edwin deals with a couple of 300 year-old French vampires. Along the way we are treated to a humorous perspective on the temptations of eternal life by Mr McLean, who is indeed a smart ass of the highest order.
March 19, 2012
A very short read, anyone who read How to Succeed in Evil would not be at all surprised at the ending here... Edwin runs the game from start to finish but it's a pity Topper wasn't used to a little better effect. I'm also looking for the next book, which must have something do to with revenge... Edwin is amassing quite a collection of enemies
July 23, 2012
This is more like a novella than a novel. Still, it's very enjoyable and a nice sequel to "How to Succeed in Evil" (even if it's a prequel, time-wise). I felt the story was as intense, but I just wish it would have been longer. I really liked the insight into the nature of vampires. Good stuff.
July 30, 2012
Patrick McClean kicks ass. Prequel to How to Succeed in Evil (and if you aren't sold already, what's wrong with you?) where arrogant vampires get what's coming to their fangy ass. Another 99cent fast read.
November 15, 2014
It was good and I enjoyed it ...
... except I didn't realize it was a novella o_O The book wasn't good enough to make up for that. I felt like it ended very randomly, like there was more to it and it got chopped off. Strange.
... except I didn't realize it was a novella o_O The book wasn't good enough to make up for that. I felt like it ended very randomly, like there was more to it and it got chopped off. Strange.
August 25, 2013
This novella is a prequel to How to Succeed in Evil. I loved the total deconstruction of the "cool" vampire myth. Very entertaining and Topper is hilarious.
March 16, 2012
It was good to read about Edwin and Topper again and although I did like it I can’t help but feel overall a little disappointed with the story
March 2, 2012
Very entertaining read, great characters! Would recommend this one to just about anyone looking for a short, yet highly enjoyable tale. I'm certainly looking forward to more from this author.
March 29, 2012
Enjoyed the different take on the vampire story. Well written. "Good Read"
April 12, 2012
It is more of a short story or novella. It is not as good as How to Succeed in Evil.
September 14, 2012
Another great read from a great writer.
Good start to the How to Succeed in Evil series.
Good start to the How to Succeed in Evil series.
August 16, 2013
Glorious! Even though I bought the ebook I had to listen to Patrick narrate his tale about Edwin Windsor, Evil Efficiency Consultant and his dealings with vampires. Funny, smart and a cracking read!
May 10, 2015
I really enjoyed this book.
December 9, 2015
Pretty funny
Read this cause I like to read things in order. Good advice and questionable morals make a great combo!! Yup
Read this cause I like to read things in order. Good advice and questionable morals make a great combo!! Yup
February 3, 2016
Interesting concept; plot on the "lite" side
January 23, 2012
2012. One of my favorite authors. The characters are great. I recommend this book.
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews