Love, Loss, and What I Wore

by Ilene Beckerman

“Illuminates the experience of an entire generation of women. . . . This small gem of a book is worthy of a Tiffany box.” — The New York Times Book Review

“A memoir every reader will wish to copy in her own size.” — Glamour

“Ilene Beckerman’s sleek little memoir . . . strikes a startling chord. . . . Unsettling and oddly powerful.” — People

“Surprisingly poetic.” — Entertainment Weekly

“[A] poignant biography. . . . This little book will charm anyone with an interest in style.” — USA Today

Ilene Beckerman’s runaway bestseller articulates something all women that our memories are often tied to our favorite clothes. From her Brownie uniform to her Pucci knockoff to her black strapless Rita Haworth–style dress from the Neiman Marcus outlet store, Ilene Beckerman tells us the story of her life.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Fashion, Humor, Biography, Essays, Chick Lit

144 pages, Paperback

First published January 9, 1995

Reviews

[Lisa of Troy · Rating 4 out of 5]

In Love, Loss, and What I Wore, Beckerman tells the story of her life through clothing and hairstyles. She walks us through the 1940’s until the 1990’s.

When I opened this novella, I was expecting to find pictures. However, the book contains little drawings of the various ensembles.

Beckerman does a great job weaving her story into the collection of drawings, and we can see a shift in her clothing as major life events unfold.

As well as watching Beckerman’s own history unfold, Love, Loss, and What I Wore made me realize how fashions have changed over time. A few years ago, I was in Milan, and I remember that I didn’t see any clothing worth nothing (it was wintertime so maybe the amazing clothes were hidden under ordinary coats and jackets). However, society has become more and more cookie cutter. Almost everyone wears the same style of clothing.

Honestly, I can’t even remember the last time that I really dressed up. Now, I am going to search for an extraordinary outfit, something that will leave a lasting memory…..

2024 Reading Schedule
Jan Middlemarch
Feb The Grapes of Wrath
Mar Oliver Twist
Apr Madame Bovary
May A Clockwork Orange
Jun Possession
Jul The Folk of the Faraway Tree Collection
Aug Crime and Punishment
Sep Heart of Darkness
Oct Moby-Dick
Nov Far From the Madding Crowd
Dec A Tale of Two Cities

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[persephone ☾ · Rating 2 out of 5]

i read this book as an attempt to calm myself after i realized i couldn't find any copy of Love, Loss and What I Wore by Nora Ephron and needless to say i'm disappointed

[deejah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book makes me wish that I had a better fashion sense! This is the type of memoir that I can appreciate...a time capsule of a life based on what and when she wore outfits. Bravo!

[Angie Klink · Rating 5 out of 5]

I met Ilene Beckerman at the Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop at the University of Dayton. Ilene is a striking older woman in a sparkling headscarf that complements her "diamond" nose jewel. Her gypsy countenance is hard to miss. It was after we struck up a friendly banter that I discovered she is the author of the subtly moving "Love, Loss, and What I Wore," which was made into an off-Broadway play by sisters Nora Ephron and Delia Ephron. Ilene spoke at one of the workshop lunches, and her understated charm matched that of her book. Through declarative sentences, Ilene describes the dresses (many sewn by her mother she lost when she was twelve) she wore during the chapters of her life. Her sprightly drawings of herself capture her alluring, heavy-lidded eyes and the striking fashions she wore. This book shimmers with sweetness, depth and charisma--just like Ilene Beckerman.

[Kirsty · Rating 4 out of 5]

I came across Ilene Beckerman's quirky autobiography, Love, Loss, and What I Wore when browsing through my Goodreads homepage. I had never heard of the book, or of its author, before, but was immediately intrigued, and set off to find myself a copy. Here, Beckerman's memories are woven in with her own illustrations of what she wore at a particular time of her life, or for a special occasion. We see her Brownie uniform, rag curls, a ballet outfit, her confirmation dress, a circle skirt which she made with a friend, 'typical underwear' which she often wore on dates, the bridesmaid's dress for her best friend's wedding, and a dress she wore during each of her six pregnancies, amongst many others.

I loved the approach which Beckerman makes here, with a short body of text and an accompanying illustration for each essay. I found it a really interesting, and quite unusual, way in which to present a memoir. Along with her own outfits at given points in time, she focuses upon the people who shaped her too - what her elder sister wore to a wedding, for example, and her grandmother's chosen hairstyle. Love, Loss, and What I Wore is quite a quick read, but a very thoughtful one, and I appreciated the dry humour which Beckerman has sprinkled in.

[Marilyn Ostermiller · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fashion always has been part of my life. As a teenager I sketched clothes styles and dreamed of becoming a fashion designer for real. Once at the Sarpy County Fair I won a ribbon for a red suit I made. At the University of Nebraska I learned how to make a muslin pattern so I could make my own designs that would fit me perfectly. For a brief stint at the Omaha World-Herald, I was the fashion editor, a job that consisted of reporting on the trends. Throughout my life, my special clothes, whether handmade or store bought, were treasured memories of where I wore them. So I was delighted when a friend handed me a copy of this book. I was curious about someone who felt the same as me about their wardrobe through the years. This book is so much more than a fashion story. Ilene crafted a beautiful, brief memoir from her closet that will touch your heart.

[soundousse Hayaty · Rating 3 out of 5]

tbh i dont HATE this i just dont love it

[Carolyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Napiszę taką książkę na łożu śmierci

[JennyCash · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brief autobiography told with drawings and focused on the fashion in the author’s life. 1940s-1990s

[Judie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yesterday I heard a speech by Delia Ephron. She and her late sister Nora wrote the play “Love, Loss and What I Wore” based on the book by Ilene Beckerman. In the evening, I saw the play and bought the book, which I read before going to sleep.
The book is Beckerman’s story of the clothes she wore during her life. The premise sounds like it might be very boring. The illustrations of all the clothes would never be featured in an ad for clothing. But there are many reasons to read the book and see the play. Basically, it’s a memoir of her life based on what she was wearing at the time.
Beckerman recalls the dresses her mother made her wear and the ones her mother made, partly because it was less expensive than buying ready-made clothing.. She remembers that soon after her mother died, her father took her shopping and bought her two expensive navy dresses because she couldn’t decide which she liked better. She recalls the dresses she borrowed from her two best friends and the ones she wore for special occasions, such as a weekend at a college. She talks about the way people reacted to some of her clothing choices.
For me, however, was the way the stories reminded me of some of the clothes I had worn, especially when I was growing up, like the poodle skirt I wore for a month in early 1955 because all my other skirts were plaid with pleated skirts that were hand-me-downs and totally out-of-style. I remembered the fourteen bouffant half slips I received later that year as confirmation presents, especially the stiff, nylon one. I wore all of them at once under very full skirts. I remembered the Capezio’s my mother wouldn’t let me get because they were too expensive, even though everyone else was wearing them. I remembered a summer dress mother made for me in 1958 because I loved the way it looked in a picture. Based on the play, I remembered my first bra, a hand-me-down from a cousin, and how proud I was about wearing it. I remembered all the outfits my former mother-in-law sent me. She worked at Nelly Don, a woman’s fashion house and sent a lot of great items. It’s too bad polyester went out of style.
While the story begins in the 1940s, the situations in LOVE, LOSS AND WHAT I WORE are familiar to most women. It was an interesting trip down memory lane.
If you have a chance to see the play, do so. With the Ephron sisters writing it, you can be sure it is smart and funny and timely

[Mary Helene · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book about 20 years ago; checked it out of the Arlington,VA library. I have been talking about it for 20 years, so of course it gets a 5 star rating. It changed the way I honor the memories of my dresses. I recently saw a Readers' Theater interpretation by the Ephron sisters (Bellingham Theater Guild) and it brought to mind this dear book again.

[Jamie Aiken · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a lovely little book. Such an interesting way to write a memoir - each vignette focuses just on a piece of clothing the author wore, and through each piece we learn a little bit about her life, but she never delves into detail. Shoutout to Sean for getting this for my birthday!

[Pia · Rating 5 out of 5]

que bonito.

[Meg Knox · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am so devastated that my reading is going so slow you don't even UNDERSTAND MY LANGUISH. Mansfield Park is the densest Jane Austen and it's taking me fucking forever.

This books was ok, the writing wasn't super good but I liked the stories behind the outfits. It read weird on the kindle because the pictures were small/weirdly formatted.

I read like 40% of this tiny ass book over the stove at a house sitting at 3 am while making tea since I couldn't sleep 🫡.

You are cordially invited to the funeral for my reading goal bc this summer hasn't been as reading friendly and I fully blame Mansfield park xx

[Phyllis · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a short but enjoyable read. I loved the concept of author Ilene Beckerman describing her life through the outfits she wore from the 1940s through the 1990s. At first glance you could underestimate the content as just a few reminisces accompanying her color sketches of the clothing worn during that time period. But each page is poetry-like in its brief summary of a specific event in her life - she hints at so much more using just a few words. Most pages conveyed her naivete, sadness, yearning and other emotions - as the title implies, she experienced much "love and loss" in her lifetime.

While this was published in 1995, and covers the years from the 1940s through 1990s, this is a timeless commentary on culture from a women's point of view.

[Nannwagner · Rating 4 out of 5]

So sweet

I read this at night while driving home from my mother’s house with a truckload of her beautiful belongings to deliver to nieces, nephews and sisters along the way. I many times thought I need to tell Momma about this book. She’d love it! Only to remember she is gone. Among those many boxes in the truck are two or three full of her treasured outfits.

[Krystie Herndon · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lovely, poignant story, told in fashions the author/illustrator wore, and remembered. Appealed to my latent, childhood desire to be a fashion designer. One problem I found was that some of the pages were inexplicably blank, as if the publisher or printer missed about 8 pages of print and illustrations--that was disappointing. Nevertheless, I really liked this book.

[Lisa P · Rating 3 out of 5]

A version of this book should be written by every woman. The concept is better than the finished prodict, though, as I wanted stories that were a little more fleshed out. I think the adaptation would probably a fantastic read. Not a great choice to read on an e-book.

[Kristin Boldon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Charming, sweet, sad, and visually lovely, this memoir in clothes is spare, but runs deep.

[Lydia Newman]

lovely, short read. I love the drawings in this book. prep for show!

[Mel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very short, quick read. I really loved this little book. It is a memoir based on the clothes she wore -- from the dresses her mom made her, to gowns she wore on dates, and maternity dresses. I loved the succinct descriptions of each dress or outfit and what she remembers about wearing them paired with the author's own illustrations. It is descriptive but unemotional and matter of fact. She describes expensive dresses her father bought for her when she was 12 after her mother dies, and one outfit she wore when she realized she was going to leave her husband. However, the writing doesn't dig into the pain she went through. Her readers understand. Reading this made me want to list the clothes I remember wearing at different moments in my life and think about why they were memorable (the clothes or the events or both?)

[Sandi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was recommended by Gretchen Rubin. Beckerman does a quick scan of her life through the avenue of her clothing. She draws an outfit and then tells us a little about that time period of her life. Her illustrations are really cute.. It goes from the 1940s beginning with her Brownie uniform and continues through the 1990s. Her mother makes an appearance as well as her grandmother. It's really cute and prompts ideas for me to do a journal of snapshots of my clothing through the years and what I was doing at the time.

I also like how she included some of her friends, and mentioned addresses of where she lived.

[Patti K · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Delight

This short illustrated book is a whimsical take on the author’s clothes. Very fun to read and the reader receives a brief portrait of her family and friends. An unlikely pleasure!

[Cecilia Bole · Rating 5 out of 5]

A captivating memoir told through fashion, dry humor, and diary-like snippets. It’s a super quick read, but I’ll never think the same about outfit choices again.

[Lourdes · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5

[isabclima · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,5

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the source material for the play by Nora and Delia Ephron. It’s charming in its simplicity, but the play is better!

[vicky · Rating 3 out of 5]

this was a very decent book, however i felt that it wasn’t detailed enough.

[Mitali Singh · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel like this was the one book I needed to read in 2025, and from all of the wonderful 20 books I read this year, this will be the one I take with me most. We are all Gingy

[Jess Rossi]

Read this bc I thought it was the Nora Ephron play lol