Kill the Dead

Sandman Slim #2

by Richard Kadrey

“Sandman Slim is my kind of hero.”
—Kim Harrison “Richard Kadrey is a genius.”
—Holly Black Sandman Slim is back from Hell. After wreaking unholy havoc in author Richard Kadrey’s resoundingly acclaimed Sandman Slim , the demon-slaying anti-hero and half-angel fugitive from the underworld returns in a brutally funny, eye-poppingly inventive, and totally addicting follow-up, Kill the Dead . If you’re a fan of Buffy and Jim Butcher, Christopher Moore, Neil Gaiman, and Warren Ellis, or you dig the dark urban fantasy vibe of Charlaine Harris, Kim Harrison, and Simon Green, you’ll cheer Lucifer’s onetime personal assassin as he signs on as his ex-boss’ Hollywood bodyguard…and takes on the zombie apocalypse almost single-handedly.

Genres: Urban Fantasy, Fantasy, Horror, Fiction, Paranormal, Supernatural, Zombies

464 pages, Paperback

First published October 5, 2010

About the author

Richard Kadrey is a writer and freelance musician living in Pittsburgh, best known for his Sandman Slim novels. His work has been nominated for the Locus and BSFA awards. Kadrey's newest books are The Secrets of Insects, released in August 2023; The Dead Take the A Train (with Cassandra Khaw), released in September 2023; The Pale House Devil, released in September 2023.

Reviews

[✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) · Rating 5 out of 5]

➽ And the moral of this reread is: my boyfriend Jimmy Stark vs. the zombie apocalypse + the hidden talents of Czech Gypsy porn stars (it's not what you think, you filthy-minded barnacles) + my boyfriend Lucifer getting a consulting job for a big-budget Hollywood production on his life story + chain-smoking Victorian centipede roommates =



Obviously.



[August 2017]

Express Super Extra Crappy Non Review Time (ESECNRT™)! Yay!

Okay, so my boyfriend Jimmy Stark is kinda sorta lost here. I mean, he just spent 11 years in Hell, which is pretty cool and stuff, but he doesn't seem to think of it that way. What can I say, my man is beautifully weird. But anyway. So my Jimmy came back from his extended, super relaxing holiday Downtown (that's what Hell's really called, my Clueless Barnacles) to exact delicious revenge on the deviously evil people who sent him there in the first place. Okay, so Jimmy can be slightly evil, too, but he's, you know, the hot kind of evil and stuff. But anyway. So my Jimmy came back, did or did not exact revenge (not telling you because spoiler spoiler spoiler and stuff. You are quite welcome) on the deviously evil, badder than him bad guys, while spoiler spoiler spoiler in the process. Also, he found out that spoiler spoiler spoiler, which, you must admit, is a bit distressing. No wonder the poor guy is kinda sorta drinking himself to oblivion here. Also also, he might or might not be in the process of becoming slightly (if delightfully) bipolar, which certainly doesn't help.



Yes, I am afraid that is more or less my Jimmy's current circumstance. More. Or less. A little. Somehow. Maybe. The only certainty here is that my Jimmy is waaaaayyyyy hotter than this substandard weirdo there ↑↑↑. Obviously.

But not to worry, my Little Barnacles, for all is not lost for my Sandman Slim. Oh, no. He is as scrumptiously fished-up, homicidal, rude, impulsive, sarcastic, brutish and disrespectful as ever. So yummy. This guy really is the man of my nightmares dreams. Sigh. It really is bloody shrimping beautiful. Okay, so it's not actually as bloody shrimping beautiful as it was in book 1, because my Jimmy seems to have lost some of his delectable rawness along the way. Which is a teensy little bit unsettling at first. Don't get me wrong, it's not like he's become nice and sophisticated and gentle and stuff (thank my Shrimpy Lord! Now that would have been seriously disgusting. Ew ew ew and yuck yuck yuck), but he's not as deliciously nasty and harsh and unpleasant as he used to be. So yeah, major unsettlement unsettlation (yes, that is a word) at first and stuff.



See what happens when I feel unsettled unsettlated? Pretty scary, huh?

A good thing our old chum Lucifer happens to be in town, playing technical adviser for a biopic about his little self gotta love Hollywood . I mean, if there's a guy who can help my Jimmy set his evil, somewhat dishonourable priorities straight, it's him. He kind of invented the concept and stuff. Plus, working as the devil's "alcoholic cowboy assassin" seems to do wonders for my boyfriend's mood, so all's good. And if Lucifer's suspicious comforting presence and support aren't enough, Jimmy can always count on his roomie Kasabian the slightly aggravating undead headless corpse corpseless head (aka the horny lobster) to cheer him up with his lovely attitude and enchanting conversational skills. My Jimmy + Lucifer + Kasabian = the mostest perfectest "little clusterfuck of liars" ever. What a pleasantly charming trio. It's all love, honesty, trust and integrity with these guys. I wonder why no one in Heaven wants to let them in. These celestial assholes folks really are assholes, if you ask me. Which reminds me: Aelita needs to die a horrible, painful, slightly excruciating, slow death. Thank you.



Morticia dear, thank you so much for stopping by. Jimmy and I have always been huge fans of your magnificently polished knife collection and it is an honor to have you volunteer to kindly slaughter our good friend Aelita here. You really are the best.

Sorry, what, my Tiny Decapods? You would like me to finally get down on it to business and start telling you about the plot? Why? Can't you read the book blurb or something? Sigh. You really are exhausting sometimes. Okay, fine, I'm not totally cruel and stuff so I'll tell you this: spoiler spoiler spoiler. Also: yummy zombies (aka High Plains Drifters). You are quite welcome. So, where were we? Oh yes, my Jimmy's Cutely Endearing Gang of Supernatural Freaks Oddballs of Dubious Morals (CEGoSFOoDM™). Of course we have Vidocq, my boyfriend's ever awesome (if a teensy little bit ancient) BFF. And also Vidocq's, um, porn-watching apprentice with benefits, Allegra. My girlfriend Candy the Meat Grinder is mostly (and quite unfortunately) MIA in this instalment, which sucks BIG time.

✉ A personal, very private message for Mr Kadrey: you better bring my Candy back post shrimping haste, or else…



Go, my murderous babies, go!

But let's not get too violent. Yet. I mean, Brigitte, the Clark Kent wannabe/Czech Gypsy porn star (don't ask) kind of makes up for the disgusting lack of Candy. A little. She's as much a fan of gory/violent first dates as Candy, which is pretty cool, but she doesn't do the People Eating Thing (PET™), which is kind of a humongous bummer and stuff. But hey, at least the kick-ass killer/porn star thing is quite refreshing, so I guess I can't complain. Looks like you might live long enough to write another instalment in this series after all, Mr Kadrey. Wait, better make that a novella just in case. You can never be too careful. Or maybe a novelette. Or perhaps a short-story? No, better make that flash fiction. Yes, that sounds infinitely more fitting. What? I'm digressing again? Good to know. Thank thee kindly and stuff.

Actually, I think I have nothing more to digress about so I guess you are now free to go, my Little Barnacles, and resume your boring daily activities, which I am sure must be deliriously fascinating. You are quite welcome.

➽ And the moral of this Super Extra Crappy But Ha! Not So Express Non Review (SECBNTSHNR™) is: Sandman Slim. Still deliciously dark. Still beautifully dirty. Still hilariously irreverent. Still marvellously in my your face. And a little entertaining. Not much, though. Just a tiny little bit and stuff. Now let's dance.



· Book 1: Sandman Slim ★★★★★
· Book 3: Aloha from Hell ★★★★
· Book 3.5: Devil in the Dollhouse ★★★★★
· Book 4: Devil Said Bang ★★★★
· Book 5: Kill City Blues ★★★★
· Book 6: The Getaway God ★★★★★
· Book 7: Killing Pretty ★★★★
· Book 8: The Perdition Score ★★★★★
· Book 9: The Kill Society ★★★★★
· Book 10: Hollywood Dead ★★★★★
· Book 11: Ballistic Kiss ★★★★
· Book 12: King Bullet ★★★★★



[Pre-review nonsense]

Ice, Ice Stark, Stark, baby. You make me feel like...



Don't ask. Please. Just don't. You don't want to know. Trust me on that one.

Full Why Do I Have to Bloody Shrimping Go to Work When I Could Stay at Home and Spend Beautifully Unhinged Quality Time with My Newest Boyfriend Life Sucks and Stuff Super Crappy Non Review (WdIHtBSGtWWICSaHaSBUQTwMNBLSaSSCNR™) to come.

[carol. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was just complaining about unoriginal urban fantasy when Sandman Slim came along to show me it is possible to do UF right. Kadrey's writing manages to rope me in despite lukewarm genre interest in angel-demon based urban fantasy. The plot sounds unexceptional enough: Richard Stark, the ultimate noir anti-hero, has gone to Hell and back. He's now freelancing for Lucifer, as well as the competition, an arch-angel working with the government. The feds want his input on a murder scene, while Lucifer is looking for a bodyguard during a movie promotion. That's just to make ends meet; what he really prefers to do is have a smoke and a brew at Bamboo House of Dolls, a local dive bar that's recently "cleaned up the bathrooms so they're a little less like a Calcutta bus station." Although apparently a simple premise, the story soon goes off path, involving a number of mystery and action elements both traditional and surreal.

Characters are broadly drawn, but have a tinge of familiar emotional realism that allows the reader to connect. Stark's been stuck in self-pity and a bit of an existential crisis since he accomplished his mission of revenge in the first book. His sidekick is a duplicitous cyborg and the love interest a porn-star costarring in Lucifer's movie as Eve, so clearly, Kadrey isn't taking himself or his characters too seriously. I found myself most interested in the portrayal of Lucifer, which aimed high, giving him a mortal coil weariness and exploitative mindset instead of truly evil. In contrast with the first book, Stark develops some welcomed coping skills and moves beyond his apparent death-wish.

Kadrey writes in short, brutal sentences that drive the straight-forward action of the narrator with little flourish. They're full of impact, clearly delineated images in black and white. Somehow, despite the spare writing, he manages to transcend the structure with analogies that elevates beyond mere snark:

"Most people think being a doctor is a big deal, but Kinski used to be an archangel, so for him, being a doctor is sort of like flipping burgers at McDonald's after you were president."

"The corner of Alameda and East Sixth is so boring and anonymous it's amazing it's allowed on maps. Warehouses, metal fences, dusty trucks, and a handful of beat-up trees that look like they're on parole from tree jail."

"Whiskey doesn't mix well with toothpaste, but I already filled the glass, and once whiskey's been let loose you have to deal with it, like love or a rabid dog."



Then he takes it to surreal:
"'Let me make sure I have this straight. The cavalry just now rode into town and it's a Czech Gypsy porn-star zombie killer. Have I got that right?'...
'Forgive me. I didn't think my life would seem so strange to Lucifer's alcoholic cowboy assassin.'"

Then there were the laugh-out-loud bits. He truly made me laugh with the galvanize-the-minion speech:

"'Yeah. I'm Dirty Harry. You're Paul Revere. It's called division of labor.'
'It's called having a Martian's grasp of history.'"

and his musings on zombies:
"It would suck to be killed and reanimated while wearing corporate antennae. Though, it wouldn't be as bad as reanimating dressed like a crab or a taco because you were pimping a new restaurant when you died."


And then there were the moments of sincere emotional truth:
"These are the good and righteous people who sat on their fat assess and let Mason and Parker murder Alice and send me to Hell. And then they let him waltz away. I might not have been a good guy before, but I loved someone and I wasn't broken into a million little pieces."

Few and far between, they nonetheless help it move beyond simple action flick into something just a little more profound. Overall, a fast roller-coaster ride with a decent emotional pay-off.


Cross posted at http://clsiewert.wordpress.com/2013/0...

[Kay]

Let's continue this dark adventure.

[Wil Wheaton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved Sandman Slim so much, I picked this up the instant I finished it, and did not put it down until I had finished it. (In fact, I read it so quickly, I didn't have a chance to put an entry here and track progress. I devoured it in 3 or 4 days.)

Kill the Dead doesn't exactly pick up where Sandman Slim left off. Instead, it's a while later, and we get to see what Stark's been doing since we last saw him. Richard Kadrey weaves an even more sinister and complex -- but ultimately satisfying -- story this time around ... and there are zombies.

If you enjoyed Sandman Slim, I think you'll be glad you read Kill the Dead. It has all the dark urban fantasy elements, and is even more of a classic noir tale than its predecessor.

[Choko · Rating 4 out of 5]

*** 4 ***

This is a really cool pulp-noir series with Angels, Demons and Zombies, and you still can't tell who are the good guys! I love the perspective on the whole mythology and it is very well incorporated into a modern world Los Angeles, a city literally full of those souls following the prettiest of the fallen Angels. Lucifer is filming a movie about himself and Stark/Sandman Slim is acting as a bodyguard while he is in LA. I am not exactly sure what her role is, but a stunning European actress named Bridgite Bardot is also involved and it is directed by G. Ritchie 😆. Yeah, imagine that! Well, the arm of the local government who deals with the supernatural entities and lead by a very self-righteous and angry lady Angel, is not having any of it. She is determined that changes are needed and she will kill anyone and everyone who comes between her and her vision of what order should exist in the Universe. So here come the Zombies...

I love this series, because it doesn't seem to care about what its critics are going to say - it is for those readers who are in the mood to show the middle finger to the world, kick ass and take names! It is no deep thinking, no emotional fluffer, and definitely, no high literature! You really need to be in that f@#k you mood to truly appreciate it 😈😈😈. I am lucky I am just in one of those at the moment 😈

[Kemper · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would hate to have to pay Stark’s clothing and laundry bills because this guy can’t go ten minutes without getting his duds ripped to shreds or covered in the gore of various monsters and his own blood.

This series is making me a little nuts. In the first book, Sandman Slim, I thought the first half was a waste of a good idea and that the main character Stark came across as a whining impulsive punk who got regularly beaten like a rented mule rather than the super-tough anti-hero hitman from Hell he was supposed to be. Then the second half of the book ramped up the action and Stark finally seemed like the scary bad ass he’d been claiming to be.

I hoped that momentum would carry over into this book. But Kill the Dead started off badly for me. Once again, Stark was being an asshole just for the sake of being an asshole and he managed to get his ass kicked yet again and another leather jacket ruined in the first chapter.

However, it soon kicked into high gear and again seemed like Kadrey was gearing up for a big finish, but this time the book devolved into a confusing mess more concerned with setting up the next book than delivering a satisfying story here.

The plot picks up a few months after the events of Sandman Slim. Stark is in a bit of a funk. His roommate is a magically animated decapitated head with a taste for beer and burritos. (Don’t ask.) To make ends meet, he’s doing bounty hunter gigs on various demons and monsters for the Golden Vigil, a hybrid department of angels and Homeland Security.

Now a celebrity in L.A.’s supernatural underground due to his breakout from Hell, Stark is still on good terms with the devil himself. When Lucifer comes to Hollywood to supervise a bio-pic being done on him, he hires Stark to be his bodyguard. Fairly quickly, Stark is fighting off a team of kidnappers and hordes of zombies, but at least he’s met a beautiful Czechoslovakian porn star.

The action and overall storyline are good for most of the book and Kadrey delivers some funny lines regularly, but it’s also kind of confusing. I read Sandman Slim over a year ago , and there’s little recapping done to refresh the memory so there was more than once where I was scratching my head and wondering, “Who the hell is that person again? What’s a Jade? Wait, is she an angel?” Someone who hadn’t read the first book would be pretty much clueless.

There’s also still some severe logic gaps. Stark needs money, yet he has the ability to travel to any point on earth or several other universes. So why wouldn’t he just visit a bank vault or two? He certainly doesn’t have any moral objections to stealing since he’s constantly swiping sports car rather than using his traveling trick.

Much like the last book, I thought it was kind of fun and clever in spots, but leaned a little too heavily on the whole Stark-is-a-miserable-asshole schtick. I’m once again left hoping that the next one is an improvement, but I’m still interested enough to keep reading the series.

[Heidi Wiechert · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Subtle hunting, acting like a grownup, I really miss Hell sometimes." pg 4

First of all, don't read the Goodreads description of Kill the Dead before you read it. It gives far too much away!

Here's a Heidi-no-spoilers blurb that should serve you just as well: James Stark, the half-angel, half-human and one hundred percent pissed off anti-hero is back. Keeping an apartment in Los Angeles doesn't pay for itself, so Stark is on the hook for contract work for a variety of agencies including Vigil (a super secret department of Homeland Security) and Lucifer, yes that Lucifer.

Because of a small saving-the-world situation in the last book, Stark has become an underground local celebrity, which has its ups and downs. Part of the perks includes a upsurge in customers at the Bamboo House of Dolls, Stark's favorite local dive.

"It's good to have one thing that hasn't changed much. We need a few anchors in our lives to keep us from floating away into the void. Like Mr. Muninn said the one time he came in. "Quid salvum est si Roma perit?" What is safe if Rome perishes?" pg 28

Trouble brews when people start to go missing in Los Angeles' underground and some of the members of its leading magical families turn up dead. Looks like Stark is going to have to save the day again and he's not happy about it.

"I didn't save anyone. I just killed the bastards who needed killing. Get it? I don't save good people. I murder bad ones." pg 39

Why can't the world just save itself? Hasn't Stark suffered enough? But what's a nephilim to do if not save the world while holding tightly to his fracturing sanity with both hands.

"You came back to get the people who hurt you and Alice and you did it. Great. Now you need to find the next thing to do with your life." "Like learn the flute or maybe save the whales?" pg 57

Suffice to say, Stark finds a few new motivational factors in this book and we are treated to some fairly serious zombie action.

I enjoyed the second entry in the Sandman Slim series, but less than the first book. To start, I felt it was less focused. There's a heck of a lot going on in Stark's life and he doesn't stop to ponder things. He's always on the go. It makes for a book that you can't put down, because if you do, you'll forget who is doing what.

We see less of some of my favorite side characters, which was another bummer. Stark is so intense. He needs more comic relief than just his literal talking head roomie who is perpetually drunk and watching garbage on his computer.

"I know whose side I'm on. Mine." pg 236

And there's the darkness factor. Again, this is urban fantasy with a heavy dose of pessimism. No one is coming to save our intrepid hero. There may be angels in heaven but they couldn't care less about what goes down on earth. At least Lucifer can be bothered to visit and throw some cash around to his favorites. How depressing is that.

That being said, of course I'm going to pick up the next volume. This is a revenge story primarily, but it is also a love story. I feel like, somewhere in the cosmos, Stark is going to find his Alice and they're going to get the time together that he was denied. Won't he be pleasantly surprised...

[Gavin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an OK second instalment of what is turning out to be an OK UF series. It matched the quality of the first book in the series and continued to add a bit of depth to the world and the characters. I'm of the opinion that the Sandman Slim series is neither overly dark or overly light in tone and that it falls somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. I feel like that gives the story a pretty good balance and I enjoy the mix of humour and grit we get in these books.

The plot in this instalment was decent enough. James had to stop a zombie apocalypse from getting started, for a price, as well as keep on top of his regular jobs. His regular work being freelancing for both Lucifer and the Golden Vigil!

It was a fun enough tale. We got to learn a bit more about the characters and world which helped add a bit of depth to both. We also learned why Jimmy was such a special snowflake.

The big negatives were pretty much the same things that hindered the first book in the series. James is a bit too whinny and self-pitying and is more hipster than true badass no matter what he says! The secondary characters grew on me a bit in this second book so that was a plus. Talking Head Guy was probably the pick of the bunch and added a good few laughs to the tale but a few of the others grew as characters as well over the course of this tale.

I'm sure I'd enjoy books like this more if they did not treat smoking and drinking like they are a sign their lead characters are cool hardmen. I could live without this story being an advert for cigarettes! The story even churned up a memorably bad scene that went something like this:

Love Interest: "What is that thing you are smoking?"
Jimmy: "Eh, it's an electronic cigarette".
Love Interest: "Are you for real? You're such a fucking pansy!"
*Jimmy tosses e-cig*
Jimmy: "I'm going back to the real stuff. I'm still cool, right?"

Talk about buckling to peer pressure! To make matters even worse Jimmy later went on to bang a porn star he had know for hours without any protection in sight. The guy is beginning to make David Drake from Peter Mclean's Drake books look like a better role model by example. Hopefully he has impregnated the woman and this comes back to bite him in the ass later in the series.

My moans aside this was still an fun enough read. The story has a few annoying moments but on the whole is fairly readable and engaging so I still enjoyed it and will definitely read the next book in the series.

Rating: 3.5 stars.

Audio Note: I'm getting more used to MacLeod Andrews as the voice of Jimmy. I still think he is not an ideal fit for the character but he is a decent narrator and he does a good job with the audio.

[The Girl with the Sagittarius Tattoo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sandman Slim vs. the Zombie Horde.

Our hero, who prefers his mortal name James Stark, finds himself bodyguarding for Lucifer while the big man's in Hollywood getting his biopic made - with complete creative control, of course. The gig's not bad: he's making money, the catering is always good and he gets to rub elbows with the rich and famous. To prove things are really looking up, a new woman enters his life; a Czech star calling herself Brigitte Bardot. All her starring roles are in blue films but hey, Stark hasn't gotten laid since he died 11 years ago and is still a virgin since coming back to life. Maybe a gorgeous Eastern Bloc babe is just what the doctor ordered.

Leaving a bar one night, the two are attacked by five sluggish, dull-eyed people. You'd be forgiven for guessing they were drug addled except for their persistence on eating Stark and Brigitte. The incident gives Brigitte's alter ego as a supernatural slaying badass a chance to step out, and she even brought along the perfect weapon against zombies! Stark might've hit the jackpot with this woman.

The rest of the plot involves Stark's investigation into where the zombies are coming from and who's sending them out into the human world. The more he learns, the deadlier things get for him and his quirky little band of allies (there's not enough trust there to call them friends, really.)

Paranormal Mysteries might not be everybody's cuppa joe, but I happen to love this genre. It's a total escapist getaway, and I'm here for it. Next up, Aloha from Hell.

[Paul O’Neill · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was really disappointed with this one. After the awesome first book in the series I was expecting big things but it just failed to deliver. The main character went from being a cool, take no nonsense ass kicker to being a bit of an immature snippy annoying teenager type.

There were a few things fundamentally wrong with the book also. My main issue with this book was lack of saidisms. It leaves you really confused as to who is speaking, causing me to check back and confirm if I had it right.

Also, the part of the story where there is supposed to be a personality change of sorts doesn't work out and it's just confusing as very little actually happens. You'd expect a change in writing style or different actions to be taken, but nope.

And zombies...yawn!

I'll still continue with this series but this one left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. Still good enough to warrant a three star, but not as good as the Dresden series...so far.

[Bradley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm so glad the second book kept up the pace of the first. All the surprises from the first continued on in fine form to give us... a zombie apocalypse meeting a noir half-angel smartass who got his chops whetted in hell.

Oh, and he hates everyone pretty much equally. It doesn't stop him from WORKING with all the various baddies, baddies, or baddies of any stripe, (including those of angelic description) but it does certainly make things interesting.

I'm very happy with this UF. It reminds me of the best features of snarky Dresden with the darkness of Marlowe while always giving us a fun time in a cut-rate video store.

Yes. It's that kind of novel. And seeing yourself get eaten away with a zombie virus is NOT pleasant even for a magician/demon assassin. Trust me.

[Beige · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Zombie-spine-ripping-stars

This series is ripe with humour, guts and evil machinations and has the potential to become one of my favorite UF series.

Kadrey is a hell of a writer and I can't wait to see where he takes this merry band of donut loving misfits.

[Margaux · Rating 5 out of 5]

Buddy read with the Machalo Group!

This is my new favorite series and James Stark is my new book boyfriend--right at the very top of that exclusive list. I won't bore you with too much fangirling, so here's the short of it: it's hilarious, gritty, dark and terrifying, all of my favorite things rolled into one. Jimmy drinks hard, smokes too much, steals over-the-top expensive cars to get around, and kills anything that deserves it without batting an eye, all while making witty observations about the ridiculous world around him (it's L.A.-- 'nuff said) and throwing obscenely funny insults at his friends (and they love him anyway). And Lucifer...Kadrey's version of the Dark Prince is probably my most favorite ever. He's utterly perfect, and I may be just a wee bit crushing on him, too (don't tell Jimmy).

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

A blast of a read. It always shocks me when a sequel can outdo the original, and that is exactly what Kadrey has achieved with this one "Kill the Dead". This book is paced like the first, non-stop but is an adrenaline overload. Sandman Slim is one bad mutha and he is as nasty as it comes and is at his best when he is killing something or someone. I love the humor and the one liners through out this novel, a great example is the following.
“Let me make sure I have this straight. The cavalry just now rode into town and it’s a Czech Gypsy porn-star zombie killer. Have I got that right?”
She crosses her arms and looks at me like if we weren’t on a timetable she’d kick my ass.
“Forgive me. I didn’t think my life would seem so strange to Lucifer’s alcoholic cowboy assassin.”

I had so much fun reading this novel and cannot wait for more from Sandman Slim. If you enjoy dark humor, demons, the devil, and of course zombies run out and grab this one.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s dark and it’s sometimes sad and often hilarious. Sandman Slim is awesome and also really screwed up but I enjoy his world (from a distance). This series is so entertaining. Who would have thought an apocalypse could be such an escape? Maybe it’s just me. 😉

[Soo · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the first book, Sandman Slim, we're introduced to our world but it's complicated by layers of magic and the mythical. A man comes out alive from depths of Hell, and rails down his vengeance on those that have wronged him. There are angels, demons, divine, corrupt, careless, haunted and apathetic. A cascade of what makes the world turn collides with nightmares that are all too real.

Death and taxes are the only things you can count on. In between, money makes the world go round and pays for the trivial details that makes living okay. Letting you blow minutes of life away in little to large sins of smoking cigs, craptastic Jackie D's, Hellion beer that tastes like tar, belligerent joyrides and grasping empty handed for one thing to matter in the emptiness of every moment.

Vampires & Zombies. They're at the center circle of this little stage. Threaded in the mix are twists from the start of the series that come to a halting stop in this one. More tangles are added to the fine, snarky web that makes up Stark's life and a couple of whopping big reveals.

I enjoyed the first book but I frakkin' love this one! I let myself wander away from the story for the first half, but the rest of it held me tight all the way to the end. Freaking brilliant! I love how the ideas are coming together and the exciting potential for what's coming up next.

Screw all ideas of what is light, dark, right, wrong and the endless shades of grey between. Everything is up in the air for commentary, dissection and left for Frankensteinian cobbled monsters or flawless masterpieces.

All of the pop culture references make it easy to laugh, snort or groan in response as it leads your attention away from what's happening and land casually to point you in the right direction for a split second.

When I started this series, I didn't know to expect. When I finished the first book, I was game to see what would happen and entertained. You have no idea how high you have set my expectations, Richard Kadrey, with this book. I can't wait to see what else happens and hope that it will exceed anything I can imagine.

[Benji Glaab · Rating 4 out of 5]

Smile from ear to ear

This being the 2nd book in Kadrey's ongoing uf series was solid. We get an aside from the main story thread filled to the rim with fast paced action, sherlockesque plot twists, and some sick and twisted fun for the whole family. Throughout the mayhem we learn more about Stark, and the current situation in hell. To be dealt with I'm assuming in book 3. We meet new characters, and watch the old ones mature. Since Stark can travel via shadow or gta the setting shifts from scene to scene seamlessly. This kept the pages turning, and allowed me to blast through this book.

We get the usual suspects Angels demons zombies vampires, but with a unique take on said above. Throw them smack in the middle of Los Angeles for some cinematic magic. L.A is a great setting I've seen enough of L.A through movies, and media to relate to these outrageous characters living there. Ironically all these supernatural happenings could explain the weird of this town.

I look forward to book 3 recommended for a quick read that's light, and entertaining to it's core.

[Mogsy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Something about this second book just didn't do it for me, despite the action and the twists and turns in the plot. In this sequel, Sandman Slim is paid big bucks to be a bodyguard to Lucifer, who has come to Hollywood to make a movie of his life. The vampires and porn stars and zombies make this book sound wicked and glamorous as all hell, but to be honest, I had to really struggle to stay focused on the story.

Stark's background, which actually is actually quite original and unique for urban fantasy, had so enthralled me in the first book, but it's also not quite enough to hold a story together if it has a weak foundation in the first place. It didn't matter in the end how much action and badassery was thrown my way, it was all distraction and didn't really disguise the rather light plot. There's quite a bit of set-up for some major things happening later in this series, though, so I'll keep going and hope I'll have a better time with the next book.

[Skip · Rating 3 out of 5]

James Stark (a/k/a Sandman Slim) is back, and has to save L.A. from an infestation of zombies by determining who has unleashed them -- perhaps the Sub Rosa? Meanwhile, Lucifer has come up and asks Stark to act as his bodyguard as Lucifer is consulting on a film, including a new female character, Brigitte Bardo, a Czech gypsy porn star, whose real purpose in life is to kill zombies. Things get pretty interesting after she gets bitten, and has to be frozen while Stark tries to find a way to save her. Stark is the same: humorous, irreverent, impertinent, dark, and tough, but the underlying theme about his parentage was pretty pathetic. I hope the series picks back up in Book #3.

[Tim Hicks · Rating 5 out of 5]

First off, you really should read "Sandman Slim" before this one.

If you loved S.S. you might not like this one. If you thought S.S. was good but limited by the narrowness of Stark's focus, you might like this second one as much as I did.

Look, if you have a problem with zombies and angels and "special powers" go read something else. There's a character who's a severed head; you just have to accept that. This book does all that is required, which is to stick to the stated powers while exploring the consequences of the existence of such powers. It's looking to entertain, not win a Pulitzer.

You don't like violence and strong language? Go elsewhere. There's a lot here, and it's mixed right in with a lively plot and a LOT of humour. Stark/Slim has an attitude, and I like it.

We still don't know why he steals cars to get around when he has, er, a better option. It's beginning to look like a hobby, and I like that he's very fussy about what he steals.

Stark - or Slim - goes through a lot of change in this book. That's good, because I don't think the Stark of the first book could sustain even a second book. Too limited.
Now the door's open for plenty of sequels. There are six books so far. I'll certainly look for #3.

[J.M. (Joe) · Rating 4 out of 5]

KILL THE DEAD started strong, then went wayward for a good while. About 65-70 percent of the way in, I had the notion this was a 3-star book in my hands, a good read, but not as good as the first Sandman Slim. Then Kadrey threw it into overdrive. He put his foot to the floor, and ramped this sucker up to 4.5 stars; so, I give it a solid 4-star grade. He even toyed with 5 stars by the end (yeah, he shook things up that much), but Stark's inability to say one sentence like a normal person, just always waxing supercilious, started grating on me a little and kept me from awarding the highest of high marks. Still highly recommended! The wringer he puts Stark through in the latter half, the creepiness, the killer action sequences, were all super cinematic. I'd love to see this series imagined on film!

[Steve · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars, rounded up.

Better than the first. Snark and sarcasm run rampant, along with zombies, zeds, and more undead over-running LA.

There was something lacking in this book, however: a start-to-finish coherent plot. The start is good, the finish is good, but the middle fell off completely. There's a lot of soap-opera-type plotting (Stark trying to figure out who his father is; falling for an undead-killing porn star), there's a lot of talk and not much action or story movement until the grand finale.

Still, it's a good read/listen. MacLeod Andrews, as always, is an outstanding narrator.

[Fangs for the Fantasy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Kill the Dead is the second book in the Sandman Slim novels. You can find the review for the first book, Sandman Slim here. As with the first book, Kill the Dead involves Angels and Demons but this time the threat the walking dead, otherwise known as various types of zombies. The problem however is that the reader is not really made aware the the zombies are indeed the "big bad" in this book until Stark suddenly had to deal with them.

Unlike Sandman Slim, Kill the dead, is really quite disorganized. The plot just seems to float around while Stark has interactions with various supernatural beings. Elements are introduced that really go nowhere and at times the story is really hard to follow. The cast of characters is actually very large, making it difficult to remember the significance of each person.

Even with all of the aforementioned issues, perhaps the greatest downfall is the constant use of ableist language throughout the book. Kadrey had no problem having his characters call each other retard. The disabled community has made a concerted effort to get people to recognize that retard used as a pejorative is ableist and wrong and yet here Kadrey is, littering his text with this word. If this were the only example it would be bad but unfortunately, Kill the Dead is like a primer in how to fit ableism into a text.

In the first novel we learned that Stark is a nephilim. When Lucifer appears and hires him to be a bodyguard, the weak context is enough for the reader to question if, Stark is Lucifer's son. Why else would the fallen angel require a bodyguard. It turns out that Stark is not a chip off the old block, merely the man that Lucifer has chosen to take his place. Lucifer it seems wants to return back to heaven. This means that both the earth and hell well be in jeopardy without his leadership.

All of this is clearly a set up for the next book, Aloha From Hell which is due out, October 18th. Perhaps that this explains why Kill the Dead seemed so disorganized. Perhaps, Kadrey was laying the groundwork for the next book in the series. Stark has yet to face Mason his arch nemesis and the fact that Lucifer wants Stark to take over hell, puts them on a collision course. Stark did turn down the job, however he cannot avenge the death of his girlfriend without confronting Mason.

Read more

[Kelly (Maybedog) · Rating 4 out of 5]

First off, you have to read the first book first. This is not a stand alone volume. I read the first one only a couple of months ago and I was unsure on a couple of things.

I liked this one more than the first one. I felt that Stark was more emotional, more three-dimensional, more human. I understood his self-hatred better and why he doesn't want to be on Earth anymore. Still, a near-death scene was unemotional and barren. I wanted even a couple of words to sense that there was deep emotion there even if it was under the surface.

A sex scene from a male perspective was definitely an eyeopener. Basically it was kiss, touch breast, penetrate. Not a lot of foreplay. Really none at all. I did feel a lot more of his emotion here, the back emotion unrelated to what was actually happening, but still not enough. I do have to say it was the first sex scene I've ever read in a book written by a guy where the guy doesn't come. Plus, it just is, not a big deal, but right..

A big problem I had with both books so far is that it's often not clear who is talking. A descriptive paragraph leads into dialogue that could go either way and it takes awhile for a "Stark said" or similar to happen. Or there would be a long discussion without any of those handy "he asked" or "she mentioned" or "Stark intoned" that so many other authors make use of. Many times I had to go back and count to figure out who was speaking.

I also found the female angel, a carryover from the first book, ridiculous and unbelievable. She wasn't just vindictive, she was completely evil and/or insane and much worse than her fallen brethren. This was probably the point but it was so in your face as to be completely absurd.

I enjoyed it enough to read the next book but I'm not sure about the plot going forward. I don't like where they left it and I'll just have to hope that the next one is as good as this one was.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

What do you say about a book that stars a nephalim who believes that Lucifer may be his father, and who has a head for a roommate/sidekick? It's like Terry Pratchet met up with Anne Rice and then had a date with Buffy!

Not having read the first Sandman Slim book probably won't matter - the backstory is exposited in drips and drabs, and knowing might not make the plot any easier to follow. That's not a bad thing, mind you. Learning about the different types of zombies (apparently there are four), the Sub Rosa and other denizens of Heaven and Hell is fun. Ditto James' war within himself over which side he's on - does he go Uptown or Downtown (he manages to work both sides and get paid for it)?

Definitely a fun read, and a series to look out for.

ARC provided by publisher.

[Geeky Like · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Hell is hilarious if you're the one in charge." ~ Lucifer

I first read Richard Kadrey a couple of years ago when I picked up Butcher Bird and loved it. It was snarky. It was dark. And it was a hell of a lot of fun. Now it wasn't that I didn't like the first of the Sandman Slim novels, but I didn’t enjoy it as much as Butcher Bird so it took me a while to pick up Kill the Dead. I will say that a genre that is so saturated with snarky heroines and a bit way too heavy on the romance, Kadrey’s anti-hero is a breath of fresh air the way that Harry Dresden, Felix Castor, Avery Cates, Matthew Swift and John Taylor are. He is not some dashing hunk of burning love and sometimes you want to hit him with a brick even while you are rooting for him. I like that he is so many shades of grey and while ultimately I think the Sandman Slim novels will appeal overall to a male audience (even though I am the kind of girl to enjoy mayhem and snark, you cannot help but feel some of the characters and subplots are right out of a fanboy’s wet dream. We girls have them, why cant the guys have theirs as well) I dig them and you might too. But maybe that is because I am Smirking and I am a bit on the wee bit odd side. And also I like foul mouthed anti-heros, acerbic wit and plots that give urban fantasy the dark gritty makeover I think its been needing for a while.

Kill the Dead begins a few months after the events of Sandman Slim. Stark is broke and to make ends meet he takes odd jobs and the occasional gig from the Golden Vigil (kind of like Homeland Security but with angels). He starts by tracking down a missing person who just happens to be a missing vampire. Of course in Stark’s world nothing is ever as easy as it appears to be and as per usual Stark finds himself being life’s bitch in one form or another. Now a bit of a celebrity after breaking out of Hell and doing a particular set of damage to the Sub Rosa community, Lucifer comes topside and hires Stark as his bodyguard while overseeing a new film about his life. Bodyguard, just for show - yeah right. Lucifer is not called the Prince of Lies for nothing and almost nothing about his motives are true. Then again what did you expect. Once again Stark Stark finds himself saving the day and not necessarily because he wants to, but what is a guy to do when you are fighting off zombies, trying to be charming to a beautiful Czech porn star named Bridget, and having a bit of an identity crisis as his scars heal and the Angel side of himself yearning to break free.

+++++++++

"Let me make sure I have this straight. The cavalry just rode into town and it's a Czech Gypsy porn-star zombie killer. Have I got that right?"

"Forgive me. I didn't think my life would seem so strange to Lucifer's alcoholic cowboy assassin." ~ Stark, Brigitte

Things I loved: I really want to like Stark, but again in this novel Kadrey seems to make him an ass just for the sake of being an ass. He’s supposed to be some bad ass escapee from hell who fought in the colosseums of hell. Mostly he just complains about his life and his hometown, steals shit because he can (though always complains about his lack of money...hmm) and generally is a bit emo albeit a snarky, chain smoking, profanity ridden sort of emo type. And yet by the end of the book he is that badass he is supposed to be, the acerbic anti-hero who you end up rooting for. He tries to act like he doesn't care and yet he does. He has an amazing sort of identity crisis in this book which was great. His scars are healing not that the angelic side is a bit more active and that is terrifying for Stark because his scars remind him where he has been. And as I said I really like having a male voice and one that is a bit film noir, a bit hack and slash and a lot of snark in it. It is refreshing to read. And Kadrey does snark like no one else and the dialogue is great. 



And I am a big fan of those peripheral characters like Candy, Allegra (Vidoq’s protegee and the girl who used to run Max Overload), Carlos (the Bamboo House bartender and owner) and my favorite Kasabian (who I didn't like the first time around, maybe its because is a head on a Wild Wild West sort of mechanical leg device who digs porn and burritos). And of course who doesn't love old Lucy himself.

Things I didn't love so much: This book feels a bit chaotic almost as if Kadrey couldn't decide what he wanted to do with his second run with Stark. Then again it is a bit of a filler book as we await the big massive showdown between Mason and Stark...again. Plus Hell may be up for grabs and Heaven may unfortunately see a coup happening. That is kind of awesome, but I will say if you have not read Sandman Slim I feel like you would be woefully lost as even I had a hard time remembering old characters and the new ones and trying to figure out the significance of each.

Its hard to really be angry with the book as the faults and the merits balance one another out. While I both hate and love Stark, I love that the Hell thing is being explored as is an angel wanting to overthrow God. I dig the grittiness of it all, the no apologies approach and yet I want more than fanboy porn. Then again can I really fault Kadrey for it. Nope.

Buy or Borrow: Borrow. Unless you own the first one, then buy.

Part of: A Series

Book One: Sandman Slim

Book Two: Kill the Dead

Book Three: Aloha from Hell (Due October 2012)

Also Recommended: Butcher Bird also by Kadrey, the Avery Cates series by Jeff Somers, the Felix Castor novels by Mike Carey, and Already Dead by Charlie Huston.

[Tobin Elliott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Richard Kadrey, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE???

Well, okay, where the heck have I been the past fifteen years that I'd never even heard of Kadrey or this series?

And yes, I know, this is only the second in the series, and there's a lot to go, but holy hell, this book was insanely good. It feels like Kadrey's madly pulling in everything here... zombies, angels, porn stars, vampires, lost souls.... Lucifer. There's absolutely no reason for this to work. This should be a terribly written hot mess.

Instead, it's fantastic. Incredibly well written, with humour, heart, and horror. It's engaging from the very first page to the very last. Reading this is the closest you'll get to riding a rollercoaster without actually being in a rollercoaster.

I freaking loved this.

[Lynne Lambdin · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounding to 4

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Incredibly impressive. This book took me by surprise. Initially, I wasn't sure I would like Sandman Slim, but I caught on pretty quick. The novel is extremely well-written, imaginative and entertaining.

Kill the Dead is a bit edgier than what I typically read. I've been holding onto this Sandman Slim Novel for about a decade - since the days before Borders Bookstore went out of business. The tone reminds me of another book I bought around the same time and finally read in 2020 as well, Beat the Reaper. Portions of the book are also reminiscent of Ninth House, which I read earlier this year and also a bizarre 2018 film I've seen a few times called Under The Silver Lake.

Kill the Dead opens in an abandoned movie theater. This setting is always interesting to me given that I work weekends at the movie theater down the street from my home. I have spent many hours both on the clock and off the clock at the movie theater.

I have not read the first Sandman Slim book or any other installment, but now I definitely am going to look into them. The series has been very well received by readers on Goodreads. I'm curious to see how Sandman Slim has evolved over the course of eleven volumes.

Favorite Passages:

"Sometimes it's nice to know I'm not crazy. You know when you wake up and for a minute you don't know where you are and aren't sure if you're awake or still dreaming? This reminds me what's real. Who I am. Where I've been. How I got these scars. Living up here, sometimes I need that."
_______

". . . why isn't he out here with you doing locator spells? Or echo tracing? Sloppy teenybopper magic usually leaves a fat shiny trail of residue all over the aether. Easy to follow."
_______

I leave through a shadow near the fire exit in back.
_______

Sometimes the only way to get past something impassable is to smash it with itself. Like kills like. When you live with a dead man's head that won't shut up and smokes all your cigarettes, the only way to deal with the awfulness is to make it so unbelievably awful that it becomes kind of weirdly beautiful. Like an exploding giraffe full of fireworks. (Hellions really know how to throw a birthday party.)
_______

"We're a little clusterfuck of liars."
_______

"Slip me some crimson, Jimson."
_______

Satan's Big Little Book of Badass. A kind of Bizarro World Boy Scout manual. High-grade Gnostic porn. The Codex is the second most important document in the universe, right after the Scroll of Creation in you-know-who's personal library.
_______

He smiles at me exactly the way you don't want a dead man to smile at you.
_______

Hell is twenty-four-hour party people, and the buddy you shared a foxhole with yesterday is a head on the end of a stick today, letting everyone in shouting distance know, "Abandon all hope ye who piss me off."
_______

What I hate about the dream is that I can't tell if I'm remembering something that happened or inventing something. A confession or apology to the ghost that lives in my head.
_______

. . . in ancient Egypt, when the new pharaoh smashed the statues and hieroglyphs of the old one, it wasn't just good old-fashioned hooligan fun. The new pharaoh was trying to wipe the old one out of existence, erase him from the universe. To the Egyptians, no images meant no person.
_______

Fear is like curling up under a warm blanket for some people, especially the rich.
Something evil and full of testosterone must be smiling down on me tonight.
_______

"Thanks all to hell, doc. You're a real chip off the Hippocratic oath. I'd ask you for a referral to another doctor but L.A. is full of assholes, so it shouldn't be hard to find one."
_______

The Chateau Marmot is a giant white castle on a green hill and it looms over Sunset like it fell out of a passing UFO. It fits in with the surrounding city with all the subtlety of a rat on a birthday cake. Make that a French rat. The place is a chateau, after all.
_______

What I want to do is punch a hole in the front of the desk, reach through, grab his balls, and make him sing The Mickey Mouse Club song. But these days, I'm working on the theory that killing everyone I don't like might be counterproductive. I'm learning to use my indoor voice like a big boy, so I smile back at the clerk.
_______

"You take the elevator to the top floor. On the east wall you'll see a very beautiful old grandfather clock. Open the cabinet where the pendulum swings and hold it to one side. Count to three and step into the cabinet."
"Inside the grandfather clock?"
"Of course, you're not actually stepping into the clock, but through it. A kind of time membrane that opens into the room. I don't know if the room is forward or backward in time, but I'm sure it's one of those."
_______

"I'm in town doing some consulting work."
"What kind?"
"Why does anyone come to L.A.?"
"To kill people."
"No, that's just you. Normal people come here to get into the movies."
_______

Flying saucers at a rodeo.
_______

"You're sure about this sick shit?"
_______

"Enough. How do you live inside your head? I'm not saying you're wrong or that I disagree with your conclusions or that disgusting scenario that you obviously know a lot about. All I'm saying is stop. I don't want to hear any more."
_______

Scratch a cop, find a pervert.
"Don't worry," I tell her. "L.A.'s not going to run out of psychos anytime soon."
_______

I'm outside space and time. The universe crashes around me like cosmic bumper cars. Somewhere out there stars are being born while others flare out, frying planets and whole populations.
_______

"I got dragged to Hell by demons from the dawn of time. While I was down there, I killed monsters and became a hit man for the devil's friends. How have you been?"
_______

"What do I know that isn't in the Bible or Paradise Lost?"
"Are those right? Are they accurate?"
"Maybe. I don't know. I never read 'em, but they're popular."
_______

"He's exactly what you think he is. He's good-looking, smart, and the scariest son of a bitch you can possibly imagine. He purrs like a cat one minute, and the next, he's Lex Luthor with a migraine. He's David Bowie, Charlie Manson, and Einstein all rolled into one."
"That sounds pretty hot."
"Of course he's hot. That's his job. He's the guy you meet at a party that you take home and fuck even though every sensible part of your brain is screaming at you not to."
"What's so scary about him?"
"He's the devil."
"I mean have you ever seen him do any devil stuff. Anything really evil?"
"I live with a dead man's talking head. I'd say that's pretty fucked up."
She hands me back my coffee, but is clearly not satisfied.
"That's not what I mean."
"I've never seen him turn a city into salt or make it rain blood. He doesn't do that kind of thing. Why should he? We do most of the shitty stuff in this world. He can just sit back and watch us like HBO."
_______

"Mysterious things in old jars with Latin names."
_______

"I'm McGyver, baby. Stick around. I'll make you a philosopher's stone from Barbie dolls and spark plugs."
_______

"Sometimes being smart is more important than magic."
_______

A woman in an expensive Jackie Kennedy black dress and pillbox hat leads the pack. Her face is young and her skin is perfect, but when she takes off a glove, her hands are like buzzard claws. Old as King Tut and dry as as Death Valley rattlesnake's eyeteeth.
_______

"Of course, none of it means shit. Wells hires me to kill things and so do you. Thinking is like playing in a bad when you're fifty. It only happens on weekends and holidays."
_______

"Are those fingernails?"
"Yes. A few toenails, too, probably. No, you don't want to know where they came from."
"I was just telling Kasabian I hoped I'd get to see a pile of ripped-out fingernails tonight. I guess dreams really do come true."
________

"Golems are lobotomized so they don't bite, but they're not so easy to recall if something goes wrong."
_______

"The limo driver, he was cut and stitched up, too. Is he a golem?"
"No, he's alive. He's just annoying."
"You cut his throat?"
"Of course not. When he apologized for what he did, he cut his own throat to prove his sincerity."
_______

If Jesus, Jesse James, and a herd of pink robot unicorns strolled in walking on water, this bunch would even look up. I wonder if Lucifer had his tailor make my jacket too tight to wear a gun on purpose because I'm genuinely inspired to start shooting things just to see if anyone jumps.
_______

"Would you like something to eat? I can assure you that unlike the waiters, our chefs are very much alive and the best in town."
_______

"Think they'd make me into a toy? I'd like to be a toy."
"Only if it talks a lot and doesn't have an off switch."
_______

Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces. Someday the right one will catch you in between the eyes and you'll never see it coming.
________

Words are weapons. they blast big bloody holes in the world. And words are bricks. Say something out loud and it starts turning solid.
________

"Do you have any water?"
"I have beer. That kind of like water."
"No. That's kind of like beer."
_______

"Yeah. I'm Dirty Harry. You're Paul Revere. It's called division of labor."
"It's called having a Martian's grasp of history."
"Just let him know."
"I mean, one of those people isn't even real."
"Of course they're real. I saw them on TV."
_______

The world is a perfect white diamond. Transparent. The facets glowing with internally reflected light. And it takes just one tap in the right place to shatter the whole thing.
_______

"I'm kind of booked up. How about Labor Day? We can all go to Hawaii together. Get a cabin on the beach and burn you two for firewood."
_______

I'm definitely seeing beyond the normal spectrum. I might be able to see in the dark. The streets are made of light. People are the most interesting thing to watch. Their glow is different. Their light doesn't come from the particles of their physical form, but from silver-colored balls of plasma inside each of them. I think it's their souls.
_______

Once again the future has screwed us because we never got the jetpacks we were promised as kids.
_______

There are sirens in the distance. Cops and fire trucks. Three, then four plumes of black smoke curl into the sky south across the city. The aether twitches and twists, giving off a metallic smell of panic. If I hold my breath and sit very still, I can hear the Drifters moving underground. They sound like ants scratching at the packed dirt walls of their caves, digging out new tunnels, undermining the soil until they pull the whole city down into the Jackal's Backbone.
"Are you okay?"
I look around.
Antenna Girl is standing by the booth.
"What?"
"Are you okay? Do you know you've been sitting here for two hours and you haven't moved? I mean totally haven't moved."
I glance up at the clock over the counter. She's right. Two hours have passed. My coffee and fritter have long since gone cold.
"I got lost. I have a lot on my mind."
"I guess so. I've never seen anybody sit that still that long before. I couldn't decided if you were high or meditating."
I smile.
"Both. Neither. If I told you something unbelievable, would you listen without running away?"
"Okay."
"You hear those sirens? See that smoke? Something is going to happen. Maybe tonight. Maybe sooner. But something is going to happen it's going to be bad. Go home. Lock the door and turn on the TV. Call your friends and tell them to do the same. Most of them won't listen, but some will and later you'll know you saved them."
She squints.
"Are you a cop?"
"Never."
She curls her lips in a smile.
"Maybe you're my guardian angel."
"Could be. Of course, not all angels are created equal."
"What does that mean?"
"There's those kinds of angels."
I point up.
"And those kinds of angels."
I point down.
_______

I look out the window and listen to corpses digging L.A. out from under our feet. Maybe we've been lied to al these years. The San Andreas Fault doesn't exist. Maybe earthquakes are just the dead turning over in their sleep.
_______

"Vidocq has her in the Winter Garden."
"That's the best thing for her, I'm sure."
I look at the table for minute. My brain is churning with questions and answers that don't hook up and don't make any sense.
_______

"I've gotta go. We'll have lunch after the apocalypse. Have your people call my people."
_______

Wine wins. I slice off the top of the bottle with the black blade and drink a toast to my dead host.
"You were a prick and a crook, but no one deserves to got out the way you went. I hope it was over quick and that you tasted like ass all the way down. Amen."
_______

"This isn't my world any more than it's yours. I've changed and everything is different. Nothing is solid. the world is all motes of light. Random nodes vibrating on long strings of existence. Fireflies in a jar. Who could love that?"
_______

I just see the microscopic elements of the universe vibrating. The clockwork wheels turning behind the stars.
_______

"It's more fun for him to kill you with the truth than with a lie."
"I wish I'd been there to see your face."
"It wasn't all that dramatic."
"Seeing you in any amount of pain would be a joy."
"I cut my arm on a piece of glass earlier."
"Did it hurt?"
"It stung."
"Good."
________

I can't remember the city ever being this quiet. Like a funeral on Christmas morning. I don't see any single people go by. Everyone huddles together in twos and threes and more. Walking wounded.
________

"You shouldn't stab babies either. I'm not even a doctor and I know that."
"We only stab the ugly ones," says Allegra.

[Charles · Rating 2 out of 5]

It’s hard for me to decide how many stars to give a book like this. That’s because the book is well written, and the author clearly put a lot of effort into it, but it is just completely ‘not’ my cup of tea. I’m sure the author achieved what he hoped to achieve, but I ended up scanning the last hundred pages or so because I just lost interest. Below, I will try to reveal what it was about the book that didn’t hook me. Maybe that will help others decide whether it’s right for them. It looks like it’s gotten some very good reviews too so obviously some folks are looking for the things this author is delivering.

First, the opening paragraph is the primary reason I started reading this book. I thought it was quite intriguing: “Imagine shoving a cattle prod up a rhino’s ass, shouting “April fool!”, and hoping the rhino thinks it’s funny. That’s about how much fun it is hunting a vampire.” Somewhat unfortunately for me, though, the entire book was written in that kind of language and after a while it just became too much for me. I found that the prose was so convoluted in places, and the dialogue so insistently “hip,” that it interfered with the underlying story.

Second, the book also started out with an action scene, which I enjoyed. But this was misleading because most of the rest of the book is dialogue. Page after page after page of dialogue, with a few descriptive beats here and there. I know some folks love dialogue, and the dialogue here is witty and full of a kind of cynical banter, but I read more for action, and I like description. Dialogue can be used to create tension and reveal character, but it doesn’t convey action to me, and it typically is pretty empty of description.

Third, I bought the book online so I didn’t get a chance to really examine it. I thought it was essentially a horror novel, which I like, but it turns out to be clearly Urban Fantasy, and I’m not a fan of that genre. Urban fantasy uses the tropes of horror fiction, such as the vampires, zombies, demons, and so on of this book, but softens and humanizes them to the point that, for me, there is no longer any sharp edges to them. For example, in this book we have the actual Lucifer as a character, but he comes off as a kind of businessman. At worst he exhibits elements of a Mafia Godfather. Again, some people may love this kind of thing, but I’ve both read and written horror fiction for years and to me urban fantasy is ‘horror light’ and just not that interesting. I don’t really want my horror made palatable and friendly.

Bottom line: If you like urban fantasy and super ‘hip’ language, with a lot of bantering dialogue, then this book might just be perfect for you. If you’re looking for a rollicking good action yarn, or something that creeps you out, then I don’t think you’ll find it here.