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Mindful Birthing: Training the Mind, Body, and Heart for Childbirth and Beyond
With Mindful Birthing, Nancy Bardacke, nurse-midwife and mindfulness teacher, lays out her innovative program for pregnancy, childbirth, and beyond. Drawing on groundbreaking research in neuroscience, mindfulness meditation, and mind/body medicine, Bardacke offers practices that will help you find calm and ease during this life-changing time, providing lifelong skills for healthy living and wise parenting.
SOME OF THE BENEFITS OF MINDFUL
American College of Nurse-Midwives' Best Book of the Year 2014National Parenting Publications 2013Mom's Choice 2013Greater Good Science Center's Top Ten 2012
SOME OF THE BENEFITS OF MINDFUL
American College of Nurse-Midwives' Best Book of the Year 2014National Parenting Publications 2013Mom's Choice 2013Greater Good Science Center's Top Ten 2012
384 pages, Paperback
First published July 10, 2012
884 people are currently reading
1906 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 236 reviews
December 27, 2022
2022 update: I attempted to use these methods at my second child's birth, but found it's less applicable to precipitous labor. You're on your own for that one. (Though to be fair, it's a much quicker experience.)
I gave this book 4 stars until I remembered that the techniques I read within helped me have give birth without an epidural. That alone was worth the extra star. The chapter on breathing through contractions, and the mindset to have while having contractions, are clutch. I don't know how many minds I blew afterwards explaining that labor wasn't that bad. It was uncomfortable and parts of it were painful, but it was tolerable and I knew I could do it. This book showed me how.
(Pushing was a different story. That hurt. That was painful. There were times when I was wondering why they weren't offering forceps, not having the extra strength or mental energy to ask why they weren't offering forceps, and then realizing that I was going to have to do it myself. That took strength I didn't know I had, and let me tell you: it felt powerful and it hurt like hell. The pain disappeared the moment my son came into the world. I have never felt more like a woman and like part of something bigger than myself, a sisterhood of every woman who has ever gave something of herself for a greater good, be it in childbirth or elsewhere. I wouldn't trade the experience for the world.)
Additionally, the mindfulness techniques really helped me towards the end of my pregnancy as my (now nine months unmedicated) anxiety roared to life.
I gave this book 4 stars until I remembered that the techniques I read within helped me have give birth without an epidural. That alone was worth the extra star. The chapter on breathing through contractions, and the mindset to have while having contractions, are clutch. I don't know how many minds I blew afterwards explaining that labor wasn't that bad. It was uncomfortable and parts of it were painful, but it was tolerable and I knew I could do it. This book showed me how.
(Pushing was a different story. That hurt. That was painful. There were times when I was wondering why they weren't offering forceps, not having the extra strength or mental energy to ask why they weren't offering forceps, and then realizing that I was going to have to do it myself. That took strength I didn't know I had, and let me tell you: it felt powerful and it hurt like hell. The pain disappeared the moment my son came into the world. I have never felt more like a woman and like part of something bigger than myself, a sisterhood of every woman who has ever gave something of herself for a greater good, be it in childbirth or elsewhere. I wouldn't trade the experience for the world.)
Additionally, the mindfulness techniques really helped me towards the end of my pregnancy as my (now nine months unmedicated) anxiety roared to life.
September 7, 2018
I really loved this book. Although the ideas in it (practicing mindfulness to help one through labor and delivery) may seem a little too crunchy-granola for some people, it actually has really solid action steps you can take to prepare yourself to give birth (which is important for someone like me, who likes to be prepared). You can either read the book and just use what works for you, or you can go through the suggested mindfulness "course" outlined at the back of book, which includes different meditations to use over the course of nine weeks.
I've started going through the course myself over the last few days and I actually think it's helped me enjoy pregnancy more fully and really appreciate what I'm going through. It's helped me feel a lot more peaceful and calm about my impending birth. I really feel like it's giving me more confidence in my ability to give birth while also preparing me to accept whatever birth experience I might have, even if it's not my preference. The ice practice was also a really cool experience--it's amazing how fast or slow a minute can feel based on what my mind is doing to cope with pain!
One thing I really appreciate about this book is that Bardacke is really not judgmental toward anyone. Unlike many experts in favor of "natural" birth, while Bardacke clearly believes that birth without medical intervention is a beautiful and desirable experience, she recognizes that sometimes intervention can be really helpful or necessary. Basically, she gives the reader the tools to trust herself, calmly listen to her own thoughts and emotions in addition to what her healthcare provider says, and get the right medical interventions when the time is right, if that time comes. Bardacke shares stories about people who have taken her classes and did get epidurals and c-sections, and she doesn't judge them or their healthcare providers. I really feel like this is a person who practices the openness of heart that she preaches. She shares the risks and benefits of various medical interventions without striking fear into the reader's heart. The book has a lot of really interesting scientific information about childbirth that someone could use even if they weren't interested in meditating.
I have yet to find out whether this book will really give me the benefits I hope for when I give birth. I'll try to remember to update the review after I have the baby to include my thoughts on that. All I can say so far is that it's really helped me feel calm and prepared for childbirth, which is definitely worth it, even if all the mindfulness practice goes out the window as soon as I'm in labor.
UPDATE: I had my baby. I waited 11 hours to get the epidural and I used many of the techniques from the book to deal with labor pain. There was definitely a point when I no longer consciously was thinking about strategies, but I still think my mindfulness practice in the previous months helped me.
One thing that I wasn’t too happy about: the author assures us that in between contractions, there is rest and no pain. By the time I was about 7 centimeters dilated, my contractions were on top of each other—no break in between. I suspect this isn’t very common, but I wish I had been aware of the possibility. After reading this book, I had been counting on getting regular breaks from pain.
I've started going through the course myself over the last few days and I actually think it's helped me enjoy pregnancy more fully and really appreciate what I'm going through. It's helped me feel a lot more peaceful and calm about my impending birth. I really feel like it's giving me more confidence in my ability to give birth while also preparing me to accept whatever birth experience I might have, even if it's not my preference. The ice practice was also a really cool experience--it's amazing how fast or slow a minute can feel based on what my mind is doing to cope with pain!
One thing I really appreciate about this book is that Bardacke is really not judgmental toward anyone. Unlike many experts in favor of "natural" birth, while Bardacke clearly believes that birth without medical intervention is a beautiful and desirable experience, she recognizes that sometimes intervention can be really helpful or necessary. Basically, she gives the reader the tools to trust herself, calmly listen to her own thoughts and emotions in addition to what her healthcare provider says, and get the right medical interventions when the time is right, if that time comes. Bardacke shares stories about people who have taken her classes and did get epidurals and c-sections, and she doesn't judge them or their healthcare providers. I really feel like this is a person who practices the openness of heart that she preaches. She shares the risks and benefits of various medical interventions without striking fear into the reader's heart. The book has a lot of really interesting scientific information about childbirth that someone could use even if they weren't interested in meditating.
I have yet to find out whether this book will really give me the benefits I hope for when I give birth. I'll try to remember to update the review after I have the baby to include my thoughts on that. All I can say so far is that it's really helped me feel calm and prepared for childbirth, which is definitely worth it, even if all the mindfulness practice goes out the window as soon as I'm in labor.
UPDATE: I had my baby. I waited 11 hours to get the epidural and I used many of the techniques from the book to deal with labor pain. There was definitely a point when I no longer consciously was thinking about strategies, but I still think my mindfulness practice in the previous months helped me.
One thing that I wasn’t too happy about: the author assures us that in between contractions, there is rest and no pain. By the time I was about 7 centimeters dilated, my contractions were on top of each other—no break in between. I suspect this isn’t very common, but I wish I had been aware of the possibility. After reading this book, I had been counting on getting regular breaks from pain.
July 3, 2013
I very much appreciated what this book aims to do, which is bringing mindfulness to the birthing process, but also in a way that it continues to extend throughout one's life. While I did not do all of the exercises, even just reading about them all reminded me of how to stay present and mindful in my experiences, including while pregnant! (I haven't had the baby yet)
The one main issue I had with this book was the style of writing when she would quote group meetings. I understand that she was trying to make it more personable, giving the reader an insight into what it would be like to attend a class series rather than just trying to do it on one's own (as well as using it to reinforce certain ideas). But it felt really awkward to me, and a little self-gratifying, since she then includes all her responses to students. It's hard to explain, but I would much rather she included quotes, and then just talked to the reader, rather than quoting herself responding to students. Enough to knock a star off my rating, but not enough to discount the usefulness of the book!
The one main issue I had with this book was the style of writing when she would quote group meetings. I understand that she was trying to make it more personable, giving the reader an insight into what it would be like to attend a class series rather than just trying to do it on one's own (as well as using it to reinforce certain ideas). But it felt really awkward to me, and a little self-gratifying, since she then includes all her responses to students. It's hard to explain, but I would much rather she included quotes, and then just talked to the reader, rather than quoting herself responding to students. Enough to knock a star off my rating, but not enough to discount the usefulness of the book!
September 10, 2024
Loved this book. Definitely feel less anxious and more prepared for giving birth.
June 3, 2018
So I’m saying I “finished” even though technically I didn’t. I went into labor at 36 weeks so I hadn’t actually finished the book yet!
I LOVED this book and can say the strategies and mindset laid out in this book transformed my pregnancy and the birth of my daughter.
This book while very useful for an unmedicated or “natural” (although, aren’t all births “natural”) helps you deal with whatever your pregnancy and birthing experience hand you. The author supports all birthing methods.
In pregnancy, this book helped me deal with each symptom as they came, each challenge as it came. Teaching while pregnant was exhausting and difficult for me, this book helped me take one day at a time.
In birthing, I wanted to be unmedicated, but it didn’t work out that way. My water broke early (36 weeks) and I ended up being induced. I ended up with an epidural, and eventually a c-section. The mindfulness practices in this book helped me through contractions, the choice to get an epidural, pushing and pushing, the need for a c section, and then having to be put partially “under” from the c section due to complications so that me and my baby could be healthy.
I honestly will probably finish reading this book as the principals of mindfulness helped me through pregnancy and birth can carry over into parenthood and postpartum (postpartum with an incision is no joke!)
I highly recommend this book to any Mom to be!
I LOVED this book and can say the strategies and mindset laid out in this book transformed my pregnancy and the birth of my daughter.
This book while very useful for an unmedicated or “natural” (although, aren’t all births “natural”) helps you deal with whatever your pregnancy and birthing experience hand you. The author supports all birthing methods.
In pregnancy, this book helped me deal with each symptom as they came, each challenge as it came. Teaching while pregnant was exhausting and difficult for me, this book helped me take one day at a time.
In birthing, I wanted to be unmedicated, but it didn’t work out that way. My water broke early (36 weeks) and I ended up being induced. I ended up with an epidural, and eventually a c-section. The mindfulness practices in this book helped me through contractions, the choice to get an epidural, pushing and pushing, the need for a c section, and then having to be put partially “under” from the c section due to complications so that me and my baby could be healthy.
I honestly will probably finish reading this book as the principals of mindfulness helped me through pregnancy and birth can carry over into parenthood and postpartum (postpartum with an incision is no joke!)
I highly recommend this book to any Mom to be!
September 14, 2016
This book helped me get through the pain of labour and childbirth. I highly recommend it.
December 13, 2019
I loved this book! Definitely a pregnancy must read - just wish I would have read it months ago!
August 21, 2020
This was everything I could have hoped for and more!
February 28, 2022
I love this book and the guided meditations that I purchased with it online. It has had a profoundly positive effect on my mindset in daily life, not just childbirth prep. Hopefully I can carry these through to help me with our home birth when the real deal comes in a few weeks!
March 21, 2023
3.5 stars
September 20, 2012
This is a good book if you are worried about the pain of childbirth. It helps distinguish the difference between pain and fear and also how they feed on one another. The meditation lessons help you learn to control the fear and pain by focusing on the present moment and not worrying and thinking about the past or the future. This book and its methods aren't even specifically for birthing; it's for men and women in everyday life.
February 17, 2024
After learning Vipassana meditation 2 years ago, thys book taught me a helpful additionul layur tu thut practice for use in thu context uf pregnancy and childbirth (though I learned mindfulness tools thut can apply tu my life even now).
Thys was thu first book I’ve read about childbirth and I learned a lot uf thu basic mechanics in a simple, easy tu understand way. Thu author tread lightly around thu downfalls uf medicalised burth (often tu appeal tu a wider audience without shaming, imo). I wish she’d have commitud more tu saying thut some choices are bettur choices, and explain why thu things they do in hospitals are su detrimental rathur then just hintung as tu why thu natural processes are superior.
While many of her clients birth stories took medical routes, thru the authors expertise I still learned a lot about how thu natural process of birth, breastfeeding and even co-sleepung are all designed perfectly by our Creator when we dont get in thu way, and accessible when we connect with our bodies natural knowung thru mindfulness.
Thys was thu first book I’ve read about childbirth and I learned a lot uf thu basic mechanics in a simple, easy tu understand way. Thu author tread lightly around thu downfalls uf medicalised burth (often tu appeal tu a wider audience without shaming, imo). I wish she’d have commitud more tu saying thut some choices are bettur choices, and explain why thu things they do in hospitals are su detrimental rathur then just hintung as tu why thu natural processes are superior.
While many of her clients birth stories took medical routes, thru the authors expertise I still learned a lot about how thu natural process of birth, breastfeeding and even co-sleepung are all designed perfectly by our Creator when we dont get in thu way, and accessible when we connect with our bodies natural knowung thru mindfulness.
January 17, 2025
As someone who is about to give birth and has been overwhelmed with fears about labor and delivery, Mindful Birthing has been a transformative read. This book helped me shift from anxiety to a more centered and calm state of mind. Its emphasis on mindfulness and breathing techniques allowed me to see childbirth not as something to dread but as an experience to embrace. While I still feel some lingering fears, I now have practical tools—like returning to my breath—that empower me to face them with confidence.
What I loved most about this book is how it reframed my perspective, helping me focus on the joy and excitement of meeting my baby. The exercises and guided meditations made me feel more prepared, both mentally and emotionally, for the big day. I’m truly grateful I read this before my little one arrives, as it has given me a sense of peace and control I didn’t think was possible. Mindful Birthing is not just a book but a gift for any expectant parent looking to approach childbirth with grace and mindfulness.
What I loved most about this book is how it reframed my perspective, helping me focus on the joy and excitement of meeting my baby. The exercises and guided meditations made me feel more prepared, both mentally and emotionally, for the big day. I’m truly grateful I read this before my little one arrives, as it has given me a sense of peace and control I didn’t think was possible. Mindful Birthing is not just a book but a gift for any expectant parent looking to approach childbirth with grace and mindfulness.
April 14, 2020
Ok so full disclosure: I am pregnant and haven't given birth yet (and won't for much of this year!). Friends recommended this book to me and I bought it as soon as I could.
I have to say though that since reading it I feel much more at ease, not just with the idea of birthing but with pregnancy too. As someone who has a long history of meditation, I was surprised to find out that it has a direct and beneficial application to one of the most transformative moments of life.
My husband is now reading it, and we will start training together once he's finished it. My own training has already started, in informal practices of discomfort, annoyance, pain, and even itching!
Once I've been through and have come out the other side, I will come back and update this review if necessary. Right now though J can say that it's a highly recommended read.
I have to say though that since reading it I feel much more at ease, not just with the idea of birthing but with pregnancy too. As someone who has a long history of meditation, I was surprised to find out that it has a direct and beneficial application to one of the most transformative moments of life.
My husband is now reading it, and we will start training together once he's finished it. My own training has already started, in informal practices of discomfort, annoyance, pain, and even itching!
Once I've been through and have come out the other side, I will come back and update this review if necessary. Right now though J can say that it's a highly recommended read.
August 6, 2023
Solid read, great mindfulness practices (for non-pregnant people too!) I did a lot of these practices (taught by our doula, childbirth ed folks, etc) last time with Liv and they were tremendously helpful through a week of intense prodromal labor, and laboring through a surprise blood pressure-related induction after not sleeping for 72 hrs. The epidural ended up being needed so my body could crash for 2 hrs of sleep to finally make it through transition and into pushing, but the way we made that decision also tracks with choices the author weighs and the pros and cons therein. Will be taking mindfulness principles into baby sister’s birth as well.
July 2, 2024
I really enjoyed this book. While I don’t think it’s perfect, I would recommend it to anyone who is expecting or plans to have a child, especially if you have a history of anxiety or hypochondria. Since I read Emily Oster before this book, some statements lacking citations gave me pause. But I think there is a healthy middle ground between the two approaches: Read and know what you can, ground yourself in the basic information without being weighed down by recommendations that lack evidence. And do it before you’re in the thick of it (Expecting Better, Cribsheet). But once you center yourself with the facts, move to a curious mindset, knowing that you DONT know how the experience will go. You certainly have a good idea of how most pregnancies and births go but you can never be certain what your own experience will be; and that’s okay! All we can do is be present (Mindful Birthing).
May 26, 2022
Read this in preparation for the birth of baby #6. Not sure I gained any insight that I will take with me to the birth, but I appreciated the idea of being mindful of life, of the every day moments. Definitely more of a guide to beginning a meditation practice in your life than how to cope with labor and delivery.
November 13, 2024
I didn’t read the book in its entirety. It’s LONG and a lot of the information about mindfulness and meditation, I already knew. I mainly purchased this book for the exercises but it was exactly what I was looking and hoping for! Every technique was well explained and offered in a very relatable way.
February 18, 2021
There was one chapter that I felt shamed people for choosing to have epidural and interventions, but otherwise, I loved the book. We'll see how effective it is during actual labor, but the techniques have helped me deal with anxiety and pregnancy after infertility & recurring loss.
May 5, 2024
In many ways, this was the pregnancy read I was looking for.
This book offers a collection of stories, biological explanations and diagrams, and a range of meditative options to support your approach to a present childbirth (I assume, baby hasn't chosen her day yet 😉).
I took some liberties in the extent to which I practiced the mediations as described, sometimes mixing them with practices or exercises I already know work for me. Regardless, this book has a good amount of valuable content.
This book offers a collection of stories, biological explanations and diagrams, and a range of meditative options to support your approach to a present childbirth (I assume, baby hasn't chosen her day yet 😉).
I took some liberties in the extent to which I practiced the mediations as described, sometimes mixing them with practices or exercises I already know work for me. Regardless, this book has a good amount of valuable content.
April 30, 2025
L&D RN & Doula here 🙋🏼♀️… Wowza, This book freaking rocks. I would recommend for any expectant parent. honestly, would recommend to really ANYONE that just wants to be able to handle life’s challenges lol. I read this as a resource in hopes to be a better nurse and doula for my clients, but DANG I did not expect to learn this much and have it impact my very own day to day life. LOVE!
December 2, 2019
Such a great book! Makes me wish I had attended the birth classes it’s based on/accompanies
Read
January 4, 2024The nurses say I was impressively calm. Then I had a c-section and I was not mindfully birthing anymore 🥴
June 28, 2024
4.5 rounded to 5 (audiobook)! Really took a lot away from this book. Not sure if I'll adopt all of the formal mindfulness practices but I definitely catch myself staying in the moment more often.
Read
August 14, 2024DNF
July 22, 2025
wonderfully written and practically has changed my mindset and decreased anxiety
March 10, 2025
Foarte utilă și bine explicată.
August 15, 2017
One of the most helpful books about pregnancy and birth that I have ever read. I think it would have been a lot harder to connect with if I didn't already have experience with mindfulness training and audio recordings to assist practice. But it's a really helpful way of approaching the experience of pregnancy and birth.
September 6, 2018
I read this very slowly over the course of my pregnancy (started around 15 weeks, finished yesterday at 35 weeks). I haven't given birth yet, and I'm not committing to formal mindfulness practice as part of my birth preparation, so I don't think I can fully speak to how effective or not effective mindfulness is as a birthing tool; but I did want to remark on the aspects of this book that I have found helpful so far in influencing my mindset about birth. Here are my favorite takeaways:
1. The concept of "transformational pain." I really love this concept. In most circumstances, pain is our body's way of alerting us that something is NOT right, and that we're in danger (perceived or actual). If I bump my knee into the coffee table, pain is a very handy way for my body to communicate to my brain that I need to stop and go a different way to avoid injury. But some very specific types of pain are not related to injury or disease; they are directly related to change and growth. A baby teething is one example, and childbirth is another example. These types of pain are still painful, but they are necessary and not inherently bad.
2. "In the absence of fear or anger, pain is just a physical sensation."
Going along with the first point...the unpleasantness of pain is not just the physical sensation, but our emotional reaction to it - the immediate fear and/or anger we feel when we're in pain, which in the case of actual disease or injury are important for our protection. But if we are able to separate the physical experience of pain from the emotional experience of pain, it is suddenly SO much more bearable. Because transformational pain is important and necessary, separating fear/anger from our experience is important. I tried this when I slammed my finger in a door recently...my initial reaction (along with pain) was to be pissed, but as soon as I purposefully let that go and just calmly allowed myself to experience the pain without any anger, it was actually not even that bad. Just a physical sensation.
3. "Horticultural time vs. Industrial time." Industrial time is time measured by the clock and calendar, and horticultural time is time measured by the slow changes of the earth. In most of the world, we have to live our lives in industrial time. I have to wake up for work at 5:30am, not at sunrise. Today is September 6th, not three days til the new moon. But we can't force industrial time onto horticultural things. I can't tell the tomatoes in my garden, "I need 2-3 of you to ripen each week between mid-June and the last weekend of September." That's not how the growth and change of the earth works; it's on it's own time, which is horticultural time. My baby is due on October 8th, but that's not how growing babies works. My baby will be ready on the day he's ready, and that might be a week or two before or after his "due date."
4. "Being Mind" vs. "Doing Mind." I am so guilty of being a "doer." I don't feel fulfilled or satisfied with my day unless I have accomplished something, been productive, checked items off my list. I live most of my life in "Doing Mind," but I know that will have to change after I have a baby. I need to learn the practice of "Being Mind"...just being present in the moment, letting go of my need to accomplish things, and being mindful of myself and my baby as we allow ourselves to just "be."
5. "Lovingkindness." This idea of purposefully sending well-wishes and hope for peace, happiness, and safety to yourself, your baby, your loved ones, your acquaintances, strangers, and even people you dislike or actively hate....for some of these groups of people, this takes SO much discipline. But it's so important for mental health. Harboring feelings of negativity toward yourself or other people primarily just hurts yourself.
I am giving this book 4 stars instead of 5. My critique is that a large chunk of the book felt like an advertisement for the MBCP course, and I think the author focused too much on her description of that specific course and the people in it rather than the concepts they learned. Sometimes I felt like she was trying to sell the course to her readers, and over-doing it with self-praise for how well her course works. But this is a relatively small complaint. As a first-time expectant parent, I found this book a very valuable source of information to reframe my perspective about birth and early parenting.
1. The concept of "transformational pain." I really love this concept. In most circumstances, pain is our body's way of alerting us that something is NOT right, and that we're in danger (perceived or actual). If I bump my knee into the coffee table, pain is a very handy way for my body to communicate to my brain that I need to stop and go a different way to avoid injury. But some very specific types of pain are not related to injury or disease; they are directly related to change and growth. A baby teething is one example, and childbirth is another example. These types of pain are still painful, but they are necessary and not inherently bad.
2. "In the absence of fear or anger, pain is just a physical sensation."
Going along with the first point...the unpleasantness of pain is not just the physical sensation, but our emotional reaction to it - the immediate fear and/or anger we feel when we're in pain, which in the case of actual disease or injury are important for our protection. But if we are able to separate the physical experience of pain from the emotional experience of pain, it is suddenly SO much more bearable. Because transformational pain is important and necessary, separating fear/anger from our experience is important. I tried this when I slammed my finger in a door recently...my initial reaction (along with pain) was to be pissed, but as soon as I purposefully let that go and just calmly allowed myself to experience the pain without any anger, it was actually not even that bad. Just a physical sensation.
3. "Horticultural time vs. Industrial time." Industrial time is time measured by the clock and calendar, and horticultural time is time measured by the slow changes of the earth. In most of the world, we have to live our lives in industrial time. I have to wake up for work at 5:30am, not at sunrise. Today is September 6th, not three days til the new moon. But we can't force industrial time onto horticultural things. I can't tell the tomatoes in my garden, "I need 2-3 of you to ripen each week between mid-June and the last weekend of September." That's not how the growth and change of the earth works; it's on it's own time, which is horticultural time. My baby is due on October 8th, but that's not how growing babies works. My baby will be ready on the day he's ready, and that might be a week or two before or after his "due date."
4. "Being Mind" vs. "Doing Mind." I am so guilty of being a "doer." I don't feel fulfilled or satisfied with my day unless I have accomplished something, been productive, checked items off my list. I live most of my life in "Doing Mind," but I know that will have to change after I have a baby. I need to learn the practice of "Being Mind"...just being present in the moment, letting go of my need to accomplish things, and being mindful of myself and my baby as we allow ourselves to just "be."
5. "Lovingkindness." This idea of purposefully sending well-wishes and hope for peace, happiness, and safety to yourself, your baby, your loved ones, your acquaintances, strangers, and even people you dislike or actively hate....for some of these groups of people, this takes SO much discipline. But it's so important for mental health. Harboring feelings of negativity toward yourself or other people primarily just hurts yourself.
I am giving this book 4 stars instead of 5. My critique is that a large chunk of the book felt like an advertisement for the MBCP course, and I think the author focused too much on her description of that specific course and the people in it rather than the concepts they learned. Sometimes I felt like she was trying to sell the course to her readers, and over-doing it with self-praise for how well her course works. But this is a relatively small complaint. As a first-time expectant parent, I found this book a very valuable source of information to reframe my perspective about birth and early parenting.
December 9, 2018
Patronizing and disabling. Talks down to the reader from the very start. The author plays word games under a pretense of wisdom:
"Occasionally [...] a pregnant woman will say something about wanting 'a natural childbirth.' If that comes up, I gently explain to her that from a mindfulness perspective, every birth is natural. It’s natural for a baby to grow inside its mother’s body, it’s natural for a baby to be born, and it’s natural for people to want to help with the process."
It isn't wise to deliberately misinterperet a person's clear statement in order to inject irrelevant deepities, it's egotistical and self-serving. Pitocin is not natural. Bright electric lights in the middle of the night are not natural. Checking cervical dilation is not natural. Refusing a laboring woman food and drink is not natural. Caesarean is not natural, nor is increasing the likelihood miscarrying later pregnancies, as caesarean does. Being forced onto your back is not natural. Being elbow-checked in the stomach to pop the baby out is not natural. Drowning out the language of the body with orders and threats is not natural. These things are not examples of 'people wanting to help with the process,' these things are mechanisms in a neglectful and greedy industry.
Overwhelming evidence suggests that unnatural interventions, even 'small' ones like crowds of technicians, unfamiliar places and cervical inspections, decrease a laboring woman's oxytocin, the hormone of healthy labor. Opting for a natural birth, having followed a preparation regimen of muscle-building exercize, a diet rich in protein and other nutrients and low in simple carbohydrate, and using various targeted stretching techniques, minimizes suffering during birth and afterward. Isn't that what mindfulness is supposed to be about, minimizing suffering? What's your priority here, lady -- your belief system, or actually minimizing suffering?
"That being said, if her intention is to birth with minimal to no medical interventions [...]"
The author knows damn well what people mean by 'natural childbirth' and she deliberately misunderstands them anyway. Why would anyone trust such a passive-aggressive mindfulness teacher? The socially competent way of addressing the subject would be to FIRST respond to what the student clearly means, and THEN note the philosophical elements, like so: "We explore a wide variety of mindfulness resources for natural childbirth. The degree of desired medical intervention, including no intervention, varies from mother to mother, and this course welcomes all of them. We also practice mindfulness of the elements of birth that are always inherently natural, regardless of medical intervention." Or similar.
She also encourages passivitiy, as though women shouldn't expect to get what they want because after all, "You can't predict the future." Yes you can! It's called preparation and probabilistic reasoning! That prediction isn't perfect doesn't mean it isn't real. Telling a birth class that they can't predict the way their birth will go is about as useful as telling a defensive driving class that they can't avoid an accident. No wonder women are scared.
But don't worry your pretty little heads, ladies: all those doctors who use excruciatingly high doses of pitocin to squeeze infants with extreme contractions to weaken their heartbeats to warrant major surgery to get women out of their hair faster and/or justify the hospital's desired funding are only "trying to help a little too much."
I expect this author to continue glossing over useful knowledge to preserve shortsighted emotional comfort. I'll be rereading the books on mindfulness that I already have (like Mindfulness in Plain English, my favourite) and lengthening my daily meditation practice on my own. It won't be hard to apply normal meditation techniques to my unassisted home birth: mindfulness techniques apply to everything.
This book goes into the 'not worth finishing' bin. Peace of mind is valuable, but to slip into denial is too high a price.
scribd link: https://www.scribd.com/read/163644698...
"Occasionally [...] a pregnant woman will say something about wanting 'a natural childbirth.' If that comes up, I gently explain to her that from a mindfulness perspective, every birth is natural. It’s natural for a baby to grow inside its mother’s body, it’s natural for a baby to be born, and it’s natural for people to want to help with the process."
It isn't wise to deliberately misinterperet a person's clear statement in order to inject irrelevant deepities, it's egotistical and self-serving. Pitocin is not natural. Bright electric lights in the middle of the night are not natural. Checking cervical dilation is not natural. Refusing a laboring woman food and drink is not natural. Caesarean is not natural, nor is increasing the likelihood miscarrying later pregnancies, as caesarean does. Being forced onto your back is not natural. Being elbow-checked in the stomach to pop the baby out is not natural. Drowning out the language of the body with orders and threats is not natural. These things are not examples of 'people wanting to help with the process,' these things are mechanisms in a neglectful and greedy industry.
Overwhelming evidence suggests that unnatural interventions, even 'small' ones like crowds of technicians, unfamiliar places and cervical inspections, decrease a laboring woman's oxytocin, the hormone of healthy labor. Opting for a natural birth, having followed a preparation regimen of muscle-building exercize, a diet rich in protein and other nutrients and low in simple carbohydrate, and using various targeted stretching techniques, minimizes suffering during birth and afterward. Isn't that what mindfulness is supposed to be about, minimizing suffering? What's your priority here, lady -- your belief system, or actually minimizing suffering?
"That being said, if her intention is to birth with minimal to no medical interventions [...]"
The author knows damn well what people mean by 'natural childbirth' and she deliberately misunderstands them anyway. Why would anyone trust such a passive-aggressive mindfulness teacher? The socially competent way of addressing the subject would be to FIRST respond to what the student clearly means, and THEN note the philosophical elements, like so: "We explore a wide variety of mindfulness resources for natural childbirth. The degree of desired medical intervention, including no intervention, varies from mother to mother, and this course welcomes all of them. We also practice mindfulness of the elements of birth that are always inherently natural, regardless of medical intervention." Or similar.
She also encourages passivitiy, as though women shouldn't expect to get what they want because after all, "You can't predict the future." Yes you can! It's called preparation and probabilistic reasoning! That prediction isn't perfect doesn't mean it isn't real. Telling a birth class that they can't predict the way their birth will go is about as useful as telling a defensive driving class that they can't avoid an accident. No wonder women are scared.
But don't worry your pretty little heads, ladies: all those doctors who use excruciatingly high doses of pitocin to squeeze infants with extreme contractions to weaken their heartbeats to warrant major surgery to get women out of their hair faster and/or justify the hospital's desired funding are only "trying to help a little too much."
I expect this author to continue glossing over useful knowledge to preserve shortsighted emotional comfort. I'll be rereading the books on mindfulness that I already have (like Mindfulness in Plain English, my favourite) and lengthening my daily meditation practice on my own. It won't be hard to apply normal meditation techniques to my unassisted home birth: mindfulness techniques apply to everything.
This book goes into the 'not worth finishing' bin. Peace of mind is valuable, but to slip into denial is too high a price.
scribd link: https://www.scribd.com/read/163644698...
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