Adopting On Your Own: The Complete Guide to Adoption for Single Parents

by Lee S. Varon

The first guide of its kind, covering all stages of the adoption process Adopting on Your Own addresses the questions and concerns of prospective single parents. Lee Varon, a practicing therapist specializing in adoption counseling and the single mother of two adopted children, helps readers make an evenhanded assessment of whether adoption is right for them, then leads them through the different stages of arranging and financing the adoption. She weighs the advantages of open versus closed and international versus domestic adoption for the single parent, and demystifies potentially daunting steps such as choosing an agency and preparing for the home study. Adopting on Your Own also offers up-to-date information on the latest developments in interracial adoption policy, the legal rights of gays and lesbians to adopt, and the evolving attitudes of agencies and social workers toward single-parent adoptions. Throughout the book, Varon draws on personal anecdotes and the experiences of her clients to offer honest, insightful advice on every step of the adoption process.

Genres: Adoption, Nonfiction, Parenting, Family

428 pages, Paperback

First published October 4, 2000

About the author

Lee S. Varon was born in Chicago and moved to Boston to attend college. She is a clinical social worker and a single parent. She has had personal experience with members of her own family who have substance use disorder. She wrote My Brother is Not a Monster to give voice to the many children who love someone dealing with this disease.

Reviews

[Laura Aldridge · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is dated, and I feel like it shows.

Although there's still lots of good information to think about and some great prompts for people to work through who may consider adopting as a single parent. I'd warn folks to get more up to date information if they're actively considering.

I do really appreciate some of the personal stories and challenges that are presented - as that's something that is really great to explore when researching a topic like this. They were well balanced and used perfectly throughout the book.

There are a few parts that are exceptionally dry and hard to get through - not part of that might be because that particular area was less applicable to me as the reader, someone else considering may find a different experience on the topic of international vs domestic for example.

Lastly, as I am in Canada and a Canadian, I found this book VERY heavily focused on the US. Some brief mentions of Canada, but hardly worth it for the overall book.

[Colleenish · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this book had a lot of good information, even though it is a little older. It asks you to think about whether you are ready to adopt from many different angles. And then it tells you about the different options for adoption. I found it to be very interesting.

[Lisa Mac · Rating 5 out of 5]

So far very helpful in practical exercises to see if this path is for me...

[LA · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's so hard to find books on this topic. Given that this is 25 years old, it's a relatively decent starting-off point (though, as others have said, it's dated). I was impressed at how much of it was about doing the emotional work before starting the process, though it felt odd to have that almost immediately followed by the nitty-gritty of how the process works. I think it would have been more effective as two books: one about how to make the decision and another with tips to help those ready to start the process.

[Sandy Champagne · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is a little old, published in 2008 (I think). I found some value in the first half about making the decision to adopt as a single person; however, much of it didn't fully apply to me as I am already a single mother by choice. I wish there had been a little bit of an acknowledgement that some single women who go through fertility treatments DO have a child biologically and still choose to adopt. However, I understand it may not have been as common when the book was published.

[Kirsten · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good but very dated

[Tiffany daSilva · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was quite dated, most of the resources at the back of the book didn’t exist anymore. Definitely needs a refresh.

[Tamara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Helpful book. It gave me alot of useful information.

[Alexander Patton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some great advice and resources for single people exploring the adoption process. Helped me think through some things and start preparing even more!