The Worried Child: Recognizing Anxiety in Children and Helping Them Heal

by Paul Foxman

Anxiety in children diminishes their intellectual, emotional and social development, as well as physical health. Author Paul Foxman believes there are three interacting ingredients that contribute to anxiety in children -- biological sensitivity, personality, and stress overload.

The Worried Child shows that anxiety is preventable – or can at least be minimized – by raising children's self confidence, increasing social and self-control skills, and teaching them how to play, relax, and communicate their feelings and needs. Written for parents and teachers and anyone dealing with children, the guide covers the importance of adequate rest, sleep, and exercise and provides detailed lists, skill exercises, sample dialogues, and case studies. It also presents extensive information on the various types and symptoms of anxiety disorders. Advice for educators, health care professionals, childcare workers and psychotherapists is included along with a chapter and tutorial written specifically for children.

The Worried Child is a highly accessible self-help guide for anyone dealing with a child who is or may become anxious.

Genres: Parenting, Psychology, Self Help, Education, Nonfiction

304 pages, Paperback

First published January 16, 2004

Reviews

[Catherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've checked out several books on this topic, and this is the first I have read. It was packed full of useful background information and many examples of children who struggle with anxiety and worry. However, I was hoping to walk away from the book with more concrete ideas and suggestions of what to do and how to talk to my child who suffers from anxiety. I would have loved to see actual conversations and techniques to help children learn to cope with and emerge from their troubles.

Hopefully another book in my stack will be more of what I'm looking for!

[Mia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has some really great information about anxiety and ideas to deal with it. I found it really helpful.

[Tiffany · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh. I have read many books about helping children with anxiety and this is my daily reality, so I feel like I could write a book myself. This book was just OK. I took exception to the chapter (ch. 4) which emphasized the causality connection of childhood anxiety and prenatal and post-birth experiences. Yeah, whatever. I am sure that traumatic prenatal, birth, and infant experiences can be correlated with anxiety, but I do not in any way think that those are major causes of childhood anxiety, which I'm convinced is mostly biologically based. Anyway, I didn't get any helpful new information from this book. Maybe it would be helpful for someone who was brand new to researching anxiety.

[Sue Oshin · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Worried Child by Paul Foxman. Buku parenting pertama dlm simpanan sy. Sy ambil masa utk membacanya ketika anak sedang tidur barula fokus dan faham isi penting😂 Tak rugi beli. Sy banyak belajar mengenai jenis² emosi,stress,anxiety yg ada pada kanak² dan juga cara² pengurusan emosi kanak². Sy ringkaskan apa yg sy faham dan pelajari dari buku ini.

Ada satu jenis anxiety yg dipanggil perfectionist. Tak sangka kanak² yg serba serbi mahukan kesempurnaan tergolong dlm jenis anxiety ini. Kanak² begini boleh dikenalpasti melalui sikap dia yg bertanggungjawab,boleh diharap dan ada motivasi diri dan kebanyakkannya kanak² ini adalah dari kategori "well behave" dan seorang yg pendiam juga pemalu. Dan kanak² ini mempunyai masalah utk merasa relaks kerana dia terlalu sibuk utk mengejar kesempurnaan utk menyenangkan hati ibubapa,guru dsb. So bila dia tak achieve apa yg dia buat,dia akan rasa down dan tidak berguna.

Anxiety lain selain perfectionist td adalah anxiety risau yg berlebihan dan lebih cenderung kpd pemikiran "what if" dimana ianya bermaksud kerisauan sesuatu yg bakal atau tidak akan berlaku. Anxiety ini dipanggil Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). Selain anxiety "what if", kita ada lg satu anxiety disorder yg dipanggil "should/sepatutnya". Sbg cth "sy sepatutnya mendapat markah yg lebih baik dlm exam". Dan anxiety "should/sepatutnya" akan mencipta stress yg lebih kurang sama mcm perfectionist td.
Lebih kurang sama tp berbeza ya.

Ini adalah contoh² anxiety personality yg ada pada kanak² yg boleh sy listkan. Sebenarnya banyak lagi tp bila dah baca dlm english nak translate apa yg kita faham dlm bahasa melayu jd lain bunyi.Sy faham apa yg sy baca tp sy risau org yg akan salah faham dgn penulisan sy 😂

Jadi,apa yg ibu bapa perlu buat adalah mengenal pasti jenis2 anxiety personality tadi kemudian ajar dan didik tabiat yg baru cthnya jika anak ada personality pemikiran "should/sepatutnya" td ,kita kena motivate anak dgn kata2 semangat mcm wahh bagusnya berbanding perkecilkan kebolehan anak dgn kata2 seperti "knp mcm nie, awk sepatutnya boleh buat lebih daripada ini" so mindset anak akan terngiang2 dgn kata2 ibubapa dia "sy sepatutnya boleh buat barulah ibu ayah syg sy". See the difference ?

[Katie Gilding · Rating 3 out of 5]

Local author, some good insight but outdated at this point.

[Jenny · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got a lot of valuable information from this book. Chapter 4: Before and Beyond Birth was a bit preachy and hard to read but pretty much the rest of the book was worth the read.

Some notes I took while reading this book...

Anxiety=an irrational focus on unlikely events.

Worry is an attempt to prepare and to feel in control; it is usually an excessive preoccupation with an unwanted future event and the state of nervous anticipation that goes along with it.

What parents can do:
1. recognize that the anxiety personality traits need to be addressed
a. each trait is an asset and a liability
b. do not try to change your child's personality but to manage the traits
2. identify the most prominent traits in your child and then encourage the child to practice new behaviors and techniques (the author provides many examples)

Anxiety Personality Traits
*highly developed sense of responsibility
*perfectionism
*high expectations
*oversensitivity to criticism or rejection
*strong control needs
*difficulty relaxing
*tendency to please
*difficulty with assertiveness
*frequent worry
*many "shoulds"
*all-or-nothing thinking

Think "excellence" instead of "perfection"

"I will do my best in everything, and I will try to enjoy it."

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book did a nice job of outlining the common personality traits of an anxious child and explaining the different types of anxiety. It gave some advice on how to cope with anxiety, most specifically Chapter 12 which is aimed at children, but I was hoping for a bit more advice on coping mechanisms.

Overall I would recommend this book in conjunction with other books on coping with anxiety in children.

[Rebecca Mckenzie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I expected much more than I got out of this book. If you are a high school student doing a project on children with anxiety/depression issues this would be a good reference book to start with. My daughter is currently going through some anxiety issues and I was hoping to receive some guidance as to how to help her through this. Mr. Foxman came across as someone trying to affirm his own credentials but didn't set forth coping mechanisms for the parents to help their child through the process.

[Stella · Rating 5 out of 5]

really enjoyed this....well wish I didn't have to go looking for it but since I have been in need of books like this I am glad I found it. It is funny too because I wasn't looking for it and there is was and it has been very helpful. I would recommend it to anyone who has or works with children.

[Dcdicuffa · Rating 3 out of 5]

My son has a lot of anxiety and while I found some of the info helpful, a lot of the "advice" was obvious and not really advice at all. I would have only rated it 2 1/2 stars, but that's not an option.

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was exactly the book I needed to read to determine that my child's issues do stem from anxiety and to help me decide what our next steps should be. I love the chapter written specifically for the child to read.

[Kathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book on understanding the causes and triggers of stress and anxiety in children, and how to recognize possible anxiety disorders. Also offers very practical suggestions on helping a child deal with stress, fear, and anxiety. Was very readable and "personable".

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good discussion of clinical definitions and issues surrounding children with anxiety. There is some helpful information for schools, but most of it is focused on families. There is a section written directly to kids, but it doesn't come off well.

[Shayna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting book, fairly quick read (skipped over parts that were irrelevant for our situation). I think I may have learned more about me than about my kid(s), though :)

[Melissa · Rating 1 out of 5]

*

[Toni · Rating 4 out of 5]

An informative, in-depth look at recognizing anxiety in children, and how to treat it.

[Amber Spencer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a good overview of anxiety in children and what, if anything, can be done to help.