Formerly titled Now That I'm Married, Why Isn't Everything Perfect? , this wise and useful guide has gained extraordinary critical acclaim from the foremost experts in the relationship field, and has helped thousands of couples achieve more fulfilling relationships. Drawing on more than twenty years of couples' counseling experience, Dr. Susan Page explains the eight essential traits of a thriving Desire, belief, and commitmentGoodwillClear valuesBoundariesPerspectiveRelationship-enhancing communicationIntimacyPleasureThis helpful, optimistic guide also reveals how husbands and wives can escape the crushing burden of unrealistic expectations that many people bring to a marriage, and what attitudes, techniques, and day-to-day pleasures will forge a happy, enduring relationship. With clarity, warmth and common sense to complement her profound insight, Susan Page delivers an extraordinary work for anyone who's in a relationship--and anyone who wants to be.
I just could't finnish this book. I got so bored... because its all common sense. Maybe not everyone knows so its not a bad thing... but i have better things to be reading
“TV watching is for individual relaxing, like reading. It doesn’t bring us together. It separates us.”
“Men tend to be better at simply retreating into themselves for periods of time to relax and recharge their batteries... women often don’t take this kind of time as easily, but they need it just as much. Women may ‘burn out’ because they haven’t made sure that they get enough ‘down time,’ time when no one is making any demands on them and they can be completely alone.”
“A great marriage gives you a wonderful companion. It solves the problems of loneliness, of unpredictability in your sex life, of uncertainty about your relationship future. It provides you with security in love. But that’s all. Marriage will not provide you with high self-esteem if you don’t have it already. It will not give your life meaning and direction if you are still searching. It cannot relieve your existential isolation if you are a habitual loner. Your marriage partner cannot makes you happy all the time. In short, it is inappropriate to expect your marriage partner to provide you with anything that you should be providing for yourself.”
So, I read a lot of books in my quest to figure out what makes some marriages work while others don't. I wanted to find out the "secrets", I guess, and learn from the experts.
This is one of my three favorites. She worked with and interviewed many, many couples from different walks of life and found the common themes that run through their relationships. They are: Desire, belief, and commitment Goodwill Clear values Boundaries Perspective Relationship-enhancing communication Intimacy Pleasure
I thought it was interesting to read all the stories of couples who deal with these different issues.
What a great day to finish this book. Anyway, its a insightful read into relationships period. It also asks of set of questions important to understanding yourself.
I think if you strip away the author's male v female and married vs single paradigms, you have a book that touches deeply upon healthy interactions with the self and others.