"You have a week left to find that egg, or you're history!"
PROCRASTINATION LEVEL: HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON
This strikes me as a rare non-Blossom-centred book. Which isn't a detractor by any means, but as a result it came off as having this weird "sidequest" vibe. But that's just me. I was so surprised by how much of this I'd apparently forgotten until today (other than that GLORIOUS Garden of the Seven Sisters, more on that later), but this is definitely not Quest for Paradise. On we go:
NEW MOUSE CITY
1. Geronimo suddenly realises he's been put in charge of putting together the Grand Opening of the new dragon exhibit at the mouseum. He overworks himself for one whole week getting everything perfect.
2. aaaaaand shows up to the actual event wearing his pyjamas top and slippers
3. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand eats too much at the buffet
4. He then goes to sleep. Are we getting a truly non-chaotic start to a Kingdom of Fantasy book at last????
5. Lol nope
6. He hurts his paw so bad that the Fire Brand from his first trip comes back.
7. DRAGON OF THE RAINBOW AND SCRIBBLEHOPPER???? Finally some good fucking food
THE KINGDOM OF THE SILVER DRAGONS
8. Instead of unexplained winter, it is now autumn in the Kingdom of Fantasy.
9. ...I don't understand what's so bad about that
10. But then again what does my tropical ass know about autumn.
11. A HUGE FIRE IS ABOUT TO BURN THE TALKING FOREST
12. The old trees in the first row tell Geronimo to knock them down to stop the spread of the fire. Geronimo feels sad doing this. This seems like something that's not to be worried about and barely an inconvenience, but now that I think of it,,,,,, it was Firebreath wasn't it,,,,,
13. Okay, so apparently Firebreath's kingdom from the first book is the Kingdom of the FIRE Dragons and Sterling's kingdom is the Kingdom of the SILVER Dragons.
14. The main problem is that Blossom entrusted the last existing dragon egg to Sterling but now someone's stolen it. More on that later.
15. Geronimo goes to bed -- but since he slept great under the gnomes' roof last time, he now has to SUFFER.
16. Stone-cold suffering, to be exact
17. Sterling's dragon aides expose Geronimo to literal medieval torture tactics
18. FOR A TEST
19. Psst. Twelfth Knight. Psst. Geddit?
20. Obviously dragons eat tons of spicy peppers to boost their firebreathing but JEEEESUS I can smell these guys' breaths from across the page
21. Sterling turns Geronimo's Fire Brand into a sick-ass holographic tattoo made of light. Slay
22. Lmao so......... this is might sound crayzee....... but Firebreath is..... y'know..... sus
23. So apparently the dragon egg is so precious because only one dragon is born every thousand years and its destruction would drive all dragons to extinction. And who, if I may, is making SURE only one dragon is born every thousand years????
24. There is one dragon egg thief among us
25. No seriously
26. The egg was kept under lock and key and secrets so that only Dragon Council members know where it is
27. There is one dragon egg thief among us
28. Obviously it's Firebreath but there are 200 more pages left so we can't know that yet
29. The egg was lost under Sterling's care so she has 7 days to find it or else she has to abdicate
30. Geronimo offers to help her (duh)
31. Geronimo is blindfolded and led to the egg sanctuary but then unblindfolded to make his investigation. The gates all have damage matching Firebreath's injuries but there are still 200 pages left so we can't know that yet
32. Geronimo finds Firebreath using an onion to fake cry about the missing egg but there are still 200 pages left so we can't know that yet
33. Geronimo literally overhears Cackle and Firebreath talking about having stolen the egg in order to evict Sterling from her throne but there are still 200 pages left so we can't kn--
34. Scribblehopper, Dragon of the Rainbow and Sterling's Silver Dragon, Sparkle, join the Egg-Finders Club.
35. Just kidding. Their team name is Company of the Silver Dragons
36. Finally some good fucking team name food
THE GARDEN OF THE SEVEN SISTERS
37. This sounds like a YA novel begging to be written
38. HERE YOU ENTER ALONE BUT LEAVE TOGETHER is poetic. I love it.
39. But first Geronimo rescues Bitsy, a cute ladybug princess, from a spiderweb and lets her join the Company
40. All the garden illustrations are bloody magnificent. If I had been 8 years old when this was released I would've tried to eat them as well
41. The Company enter the garden in the spring section and the two youngest sisters greet them. Geronimo gets gifts of a stone butterfly and a red rose given to him out of kindness. And all these gifts are actually important, so remember them.
42. The Company go to the summer section and meets another set of sisters. Geronimo gets gifts of seeds and an olive branch.
43. The Company go to the autumn section and meets ANOTHER set of sisters. Geronimo gets gifts of an hourglass that stops time and water of life.
44. The Company go to the winter section and meets the oldest sister, who is an ice statue. Geronimo gets the gift of silence. Thanks I guess
45. The Company try to exit the garden and take HERE YOU ENTER ALONE BUT LEAVE TOGETHER literally by holding hands and ramming the gate
46. It doesn't work
47. They decide to escape by climbing over the gate instead but are lacking a rope
48. Sterling immediately cuts off a lock of her beautiful long hair for the rope
49. Why is she a princess when she is so clearly a QUEEN?
50. This time it works
GETTING HOPELESSLY LOST
51. Fuck around and find out time
52. Not a good thing to do when you have a deadline though
53. Geronimo uses the stone butterfly to remind himself he needs a new perspective and suggests they climb a mountain to see where they should go next
54. They're near the border of The Kingdom of the Fairies so they stop to rest again
55. The next morning, dragons have shat all over the place
56. Geronimo fucks around and finds out again but more productively
57. All signs point to Firebreath but there are still 100 pages left so--
58. Wait he actually figured it out
59. ABOUT FUCKING TIME!
THE LAND OF THE TROLLS
60. The Trolls attack the Company after seeing the dragons.
61. Sterling must stay behind to steer the dragons to safety while Geronimo, Scribblehopper and Bitsy go retrieve the egg
62. All three are immediately caught and locked in a dark disgusting pantry despite Geronimo using the so-called gift of silence
63. Guess what else is in the pantry
64. Your mom
65. OBVIOUSLY ITS THE EGG
66. They get Bitsy to fly through the keyhole to fetch backup
67. BUT BEFORE SHE CAN RETURN THE TROLL COOK COMES BACK TO MAKE MEATLOAF OUT OF SCRIBBLEHOPPER AND GERONIMO!
68. Geronimo thrusts the red rose at the cook
69. This immediately solves the issue at hand
70. Geronimo and Scribblehopper end up cooking for the trolls instead though lol
71. Scribblehopper also accidentally knocks over Geronimo's seeds, which turns into a huge and powerful tree that cracks the ceiling above them Jack and the Beanstalk style
72. Geronimo uses the hourglass to buy them time to climb up with the egg
73. THE EGG ROLLS DOWN THE MOUNTAIN ALONG WITH GERONIMO AND THEN THE TROLLS DISCOVER THEIR ESCAPE
THE GREAT DRAGON BATTLE
74. Bitsy's backup includes the dragons AND Thunderhorn
75. Mixy, the troll cook, joins the company
76. Just as well because they're instantly outnumbered by the dark forces that swarm them just as instantly
77. Not Cackle showing up on the Black Dragon's twin brother since Geronimo turned the other one good with his Ring of Light last time oops
78. Geronimo mounts the Dragon of the Rainbow to fight Cackle but falls off
79. Thunderhorn takes a lightning bolt meant for him
80. Geronimo tries to heal Thunderhorn with water of life but uses too much for the dose of "life"......and TURNS THUNDERHORN INTO A HANDSOME ELF PRINCE! WHO KNEW!
81. Cackle ragequits because she becomes powerless for 24 hours if one of her spells gets reversed. No, legit
82. THE EGG HATCHES
83. ITS FRATERNAL GIRL-BOY TWIN BABY DRAGONS!!!!!!!
84. Geronimo uses the olive branch to make the battle stop
85. It works immediately
86. Blossom and George suddenly emerge from the bushes on a unicorn to banish Firebreath for his war crimes
87. But Geronimo requests Firebreath be pardoned and Blossom grants him that
88. Firebreath has to raise the two baby dragons though
89. Which is far from a problem bc Geronimo magically cleanses Firebreath with his sick-ass holographic tattoo of light
90. He hops back onto the Dragon of the Rainbow to go home
NEW MOUSE CITY AGAIN
91. Geronimo wakes up to the sound of his doorbell that Benjamin has been ringing for an HOUR. No Uncle of the Year awards for Geronimo
92. Benjamin has come to inform Geronimo that his pyjamas getup is now the hottest new fashion trend in the city
93. AND also to remind Geronimo of his promise to take him to the soccer game
94. Geronimo tells Benjamin and his friends the story of the Dragon Prophecy before the game starts, with Benjamin of course requesting that the story should be written down
95. Of course the children find the dragon shite the best part
THE MYSTERIOUS AFFAIR AT SILVER DRAGON LAND: A RETROSPECTIVE
This is undoubtedly a breather episode after the turmoil and high stakes of the previous book. It's much brighter visually and has stakes that are lower by a mile. But I love how it manages to achieve what it achieves despite that, which is great as it never sinks into Quest for Paradise-itis to teach its lessons nor does it require as much darkness to be a successful story.
I love how it manages to say something so meaningful, probably even the most meaningful message in this series as far as my memory serves: no good ever comes out of war. And trying to fight against the light on any front will get you nowhere, or at least it won't in the Kingdom of Fantasy. The part where the dragon egg hatches right in the middle of battle has always been such a gasp of a scene, not only because it works so well but because it also hits you right where it smarts the most. There will always be new life, new hope, and people will always be more inclined to believe in goodness and peace and harmony no matter how much darkness surrounds them.
Next, how does it fare in the series? In a way it feels like a cut above the rest for its message alone, but I also feel that it doesn't exactly apply to it as a whole. The illustrations in this are amazing as usual, but the story itself and how it's executed is pretty classic KoF stuff. But still. It's definitely better than Quest for Paradise, but does it measure up to the first and third book? Or even beat it?
The answer is a resounding yes. Did you read any of what I said.
AND JUST LOOK AT THE WHOLE GARDEN OF THE SEVEN SISTERS BIT!
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pre-reread review: that garden,,,,,, mmmfhhfhh,,,,