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Living with Your Body and Other Things You Hate
Let’s be honest: most people are unhappy with at least some aspect of their physical appearance. Just think of all the money we spend each year trying to improve our looks! But if worrying about your appearance is getting in the way of living, maybe it’s time to start thinking about body image in a completely new way.
Based in proven-effective acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), Living with Your Body and Other Things You Hate offers a unique approach to addressing your struggle with body image. In this book, you will not be told that your self-perceptions are wrong, that your thoughts are irrational, or that your feelings are misguided. Instead, you will learn to live with the reality that these often painful thoughts and beliefs about yourself will arise from time to time, and that what is really important is accepting these distressing thoughts without allowing them to dominate your life.
You know what it’s like to constantly be checking the mirror, to avoid certain social situations where your body may be exposed, or to gaze longingly at a fashion model in a magazine and think, “Why can’t I be her?” But what you may not know is that people who struggle with negative body image are at an increased risk for depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and low self-esteem. Body image problems can even lead to major financial issues. By focusing on your appearance and little else, you are hurting yourself in more ways than one.
If you are ready to find a purpose in life that is more important than the pain you feel about your appearance, this book provides a truthful, powerful resource.
Based in proven-effective acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), Living with Your Body and Other Things You Hate offers a unique approach to addressing your struggle with body image. In this book, you will not be told that your self-perceptions are wrong, that your thoughts are irrational, or that your feelings are misguided. Instead, you will learn to live with the reality that these often painful thoughts and beliefs about yourself will arise from time to time, and that what is really important is accepting these distressing thoughts without allowing them to dominate your life.
You know what it’s like to constantly be checking the mirror, to avoid certain social situations where your body may be exposed, or to gaze longingly at a fashion model in a magazine and think, “Why can’t I be her?” But what you may not know is that people who struggle with negative body image are at an increased risk for depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and low self-esteem. Body image problems can even lead to major financial issues. By focusing on your appearance and little else, you are hurting yourself in more ways than one.
If you are ready to find a purpose in life that is more important than the pain you feel about your appearance, this book provides a truthful, powerful resource.
184 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2014
81 people are currently reading
999 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
February 10, 2014
*Possible body image related triggers*
[Full disclosure: I received a free ebook through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.]
I’ll be honest with you guys: this was one of the hardest books I’ve ever had to read. I picked it up on NetGalley with the intention of reading it and keeping my thoughts to myself because like a lot of people, I’ve struggled with my body image for a long time. However I felt I had to share my thoughts on the book.
While I don’t necessarily think this book is for everyone, it certainly helped me. It taught me how your attention span can either be scattered or stuck and that being stuck on your appearance can affect your whole life in ways you’ve never really noticed. It taught me how to accept my appearance and not be repulsed by the areas of my body that I hate. In truth, it taught me so much more than that but those are the main areas that I felt are important if you want to decide to buy the book or not.
What makes this book effective is that after every little section there’s an activity you can choose to do to help you in your body image journey. There’s audio tapes you can download to go along with these exercises and if you’re serious about the book I’d highly recommend using them. Yes, some of these exercises are going to bring up painful memories. Yet some of them will bring up a time way back when you were a child that wasn’t concerned with your body image. It’ll teach you how to accept that sometimes you’ll feel badly about your body and that those thoughts are okay as long as you stop letting them run your life.
Really, there’s not much more I can say. Living with Your Body and Other Things You Hate is one of the more effective self-help books I’ve personally read and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with giving it a try. It worked for me but it might not work for everyone.
I give this book 5/5 stars.
[Full disclosure: I received a free ebook through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.]
I’ll be honest with you guys: this was one of the hardest books I’ve ever had to read. I picked it up on NetGalley with the intention of reading it and keeping my thoughts to myself because like a lot of people, I’ve struggled with my body image for a long time. However I felt I had to share my thoughts on the book.
While I don’t necessarily think this book is for everyone, it certainly helped me. It taught me how your attention span can either be scattered or stuck and that being stuck on your appearance can affect your whole life in ways you’ve never really noticed. It taught me how to accept my appearance and not be repulsed by the areas of my body that I hate. In truth, it taught me so much more than that but those are the main areas that I felt are important if you want to decide to buy the book or not.
What makes this book effective is that after every little section there’s an activity you can choose to do to help you in your body image journey. There’s audio tapes you can download to go along with these exercises and if you’re serious about the book I’d highly recommend using them. Yes, some of these exercises are going to bring up painful memories. Yet some of them will bring up a time way back when you were a child that wasn’t concerned with your body image. It’ll teach you how to accept that sometimes you’ll feel badly about your body and that those thoughts are okay as long as you stop letting them run your life.
Really, there’s not much more I can say. Living with Your Body and Other Things You Hate is one of the more effective self-help books I’ve personally read and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with giving it a try. It worked for me but it might not work for everyone.
I give this book 5/5 stars.
August 27, 2013
Nice book about body image managed with coaching techniques, mindfulness and cognitive behavioral techniques. Finally someone who is also talking about people´s past experiences as the basis of what is happening in the present. It is working in the "here and now", but you can´t always pretend that the "there and then" never existed!
Bel libro sulla body image, gestita con tecniche di coaching, mindfulness e tecniche cognitivo comportamentali. Finalmente qualcuno che tratta anche la gestione del proprio vissuto passato come base di quello che accade nel presente. Va bene il qui ed ora, ma non si puó sempre fare finta che il lá ed allora non sia mai esistito!
THANKS TO NETGALLEY AND NEW HARBINGER PUBLICATIONS, INC.!
Bel libro sulla body image, gestita con tecniche di coaching, mindfulness e tecniche cognitivo comportamentali. Finalmente qualcuno che tratta anche la gestione del proprio vissuto passato come base di quello che accade nel presente. Va bene il qui ed ora, ma non si puó sempre fare finta che il lá ed allora non sia mai esistito!
THANKS TO NETGALLEY AND NEW HARBINGER PUBLICATIONS, INC.!
December 17, 2013
a very helpful book, not just for body image issues, even though the book is geared towards that, but also for any other issues that cause tension or unhappiness to the person.
The exercises in the book are very helpful, and the audio tracks are fantastic.
The techniques taught in this book can be applied to other issues, like anxiety, depression, or just improving performance in some way.
I like the book. It was very different from other books I've read on the topic and found this book to be way more helpful than others.
The exercises in the book are very helpful, and the audio tracks are fantastic.
The techniques taught in this book can be applied to other issues, like anxiety, depression, or just improving performance in some way.
I like the book. It was very different from other books I've read on the topic and found this book to be way more helpful than others.
October 3, 2013
Torn between 3 and 4 stars on this. I think the exercises were extremely helpful, but I think the book would have been easier to interact with as a workbook, with more discrete sections and transitions. I decided on 4 stars because I did think the supplemental audio tracks were a helpful idea.
June 8, 2023
Writing this review two months after finishing the book. It was life changing — it got me out of a decade-plus long rut of very painful and negative feelings about my body. I spent years in group and individual therapy and read plenty of books focused on cbt and dbt for body image. I felt hopeless and like I wouldn’t be able to change. This book is different. I truly think that the approach of ACT toward this issue helped me get “unstuck” from a lot of the looping thoughts and actions I had related to my body. I’m now comfortable not wearing a full face of makeup in public and can wear clothes that make me feel comfortable versus focusing on how I look in them. I didn’t use the recordings, but did the journal prompts and exercises and talked about them with my therapist. It’s been truly such a radical change for me. I know that mental health isn’t linear, but this book gives me hope that if I start to have negative thoughts about my body again, I know a way out of them.
March 22, 2019
If I had a dollar for every time the authors say, “see if you can” and“see if you can’t”, especially during the meditations, I’d have enough money to get liposuction on my thighs and I wouldn’t hate my body anymore.
And since I’m being honest, a pet peeve of mine is overusing using a simplified caveman behavior model. Here, the authors talking about the learned behavior of kill-or-be-killed: “It may be this very skill of creating signals for events in our world that allowed us to cooperate and survive running, trapping, or killing even when the animals were much scarier and more dangerous than ourselves. It may be that being able to make monsters present where they are not has kept the human race going strong even now that we rarely face big fangs or sharp claws or warm fur.”
As if a wildebeest is more dangerous than a rapist. As if texter/drivers aren’t worthy opponents of our watchful eye.
I also chafe at the authors’ attempt at folksy relatability. The language is diluted and pandering. Maybe we don’t need to say the word “stuff” so often in order to be approachable. Gross.
In the end I couldn’t finish it. This book is not for me and as it is my second try with ACT, that’s not for me either.
And since I’m being honest, a pet peeve of mine is overusing using a simplified caveman behavior model. Here, the authors talking about the learned behavior of kill-or-be-killed: “It may be this very skill of creating signals for events in our world that allowed us to cooperate and survive running, trapping, or killing even when the animals were much scarier and more dangerous than ourselves. It may be that being able to make monsters present where they are not has kept the human race going strong even now that we rarely face big fangs or sharp claws or warm fur.”
As if a wildebeest is more dangerous than a rapist. As if texter/drivers aren’t worthy opponents of our watchful eye.
I also chafe at the authors’ attempt at folksy relatability. The language is diluted and pandering. Maybe we don’t need to say the word “stuff” so often in order to be approachable. Gross.
In the end I couldn’t finish it. This book is not for me and as it is my second try with ACT, that’s not for me either.
January 22, 2026
First Impressions-
A bit apologetic and repetitive before it got into it. It talked a little too long about its own goal, which is standard but im not a fan, I already picked up the book, lets go!
Likes-
It was one of the better exercise type books like this I've read. I thought it had some good, cited information and was a nice balance between academic and intuitive. I liked that it wasn't too cliche and didn't try to make grand claims, it stayed genuine and integrous. I don't normally like exercise books like this but I found a few of the practises to be really unique, interesting and helpful. It does not posture from a place of authority, it just genuinely wants to help.
Dislikes-
Just the slow start and it felt like there were times I was reading and it didn't add much. It also didn't need to be so apologetic and treat me like I might crumble if I had to face my own perception but I understand it is trying to be inclusive for more emotionally fragile readers, which is fair. I just wanted to dive straight in!
Final Impression-
I really enjoyed it and I would like to have time to go back and properly try some of the exercises. I'm glad this book exists and that I read it.
A bit apologetic and repetitive before it got into it. It talked a little too long about its own goal, which is standard but im not a fan, I already picked up the book, lets go!
Likes-
It was one of the better exercise type books like this I've read. I thought it had some good, cited information and was a nice balance between academic and intuitive. I liked that it wasn't too cliche and didn't try to make grand claims, it stayed genuine and integrous. I don't normally like exercise books like this but I found a few of the practises to be really unique, interesting and helpful. It does not posture from a place of authority, it just genuinely wants to help.
Dislikes-
Just the slow start and it felt like there were times I was reading and it didn't add much. It also didn't need to be so apologetic and treat me like I might crumble if I had to face my own perception but I understand it is trying to be inclusive for more emotionally fragile readers, which is fair. I just wanted to dive straight in!
Final Impression-
I really enjoyed it and I would like to have time to go back and properly try some of the exercises. I'm glad this book exists and that I read it.
July 22, 2017
I was really disappointed with this book. It started well, but quickly became shallow, repetitive, and a bit annoying. I was hoping to use the book with clients with body image difficulties, but I think this book would come across as condescending and invalidating of how they currently experience their bodies. The ACT approach is an excellent modality for approaching body image issues, but there are better resources out there.
April 1, 2025
For me it was unbearably boring! Repetitive and lacked depth. The writing wasn’t particularly smart, making it a struggle to stay interested. It might appeal to some, but personally, I found it dull and unworthy of my time. Not recommended!
January 19, 2026
Therapist recommended I read. First introduction to ACT, interested in exploring more because some elements/exercises really resonated. I probably would have gotten more out of it if I took notes during the exercises but I improvised as I was reading during traveling. Excited to discuss w her!
April 29, 2021
DNF 40%
April 20, 2022
Как-будто бы одного майндфуллнес для решения проблемы недостаточно, но дополнительно очень хорошо. Есть интересные упражнения.
February 28, 2023
Actually busted through this book to help a client and ended up enjoying the read!
February 4, 2024
This happened to be my introduction to ACT, and now I want to know a lot more about it. Applicable to pretty much any concern, not just body image.
November 15, 2025
just not for me, but probably someone else would get more use out of this book
January 22, 2020
Who has never hated the way they look? Or, at the very least, disliked some body parts so much they wished they could change them? In a society like ours, obsessed with looks and appearances, even top models and celebrities who fit the ideal of beauty we’re constantly fed aren’t often comfortable in their own skin and wish they looked different. It’s therefore no surprise that the beauty industry is one of the few that are still thriving in this bad economy, as people try new beauty products and treatments in the hope to improve their looks.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with liking all things beauty and want to present your best face to the world. I’m a beauty blogger after all, so you’ll often find me in beauty shops swatching that lipstick or testing that foundation. I’m also a big believer that a girl can never have too many nail polishes (or blushes, or body creams, or whatever). Experimenting with makeup and pampering your skin with a new mask can be enjoyable, and even empowering, experiences.
The problem starts when you purchase that self-tanner because you believe that your pale skin is ugly and needs to be covered, or that bronzer because your chubby cheeks make you so uncomfortable that you refuse to step out of the house without contouring them, or that foundation because you can’t bear the thought that someone, even just your mom or your significant other, should see your bare face.
When you worry so much about your appearance, your insecurities prevent you from living your life to the full. If you’ve turned down a friend’s invitation to go the beach because you think you look ugly in a bikini, or refused to apply for a job for fear of being rejected for not looking pretty enough, or are constantly asking your partner for reassurance that they really love because you’re scared you’ll soon get damped for someone taller or slimmer, then it’s time to admit you have a problem.
It’s time you start thinking about your body in a different way, and accept and love the way you look. Easier said than done, I know. If you hate your body, you have probably tried everything, from crazy diets to celebrity-endorsed products to simply shrugging your shoulders and telling yourself that looks aren’t that important anyway, but without success. Those negative feelings about your appearance are still there. You just can’t seem to let them go.
What if you don’t have to? Not completely anyway? No, I’m not mad, although the first time I heard about this new approach, I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow too. I’m talking about ACT (pronounced as a word, not letters), short for Acceptance And Commitment Therapy. Based on this new therapy, Living With Your Body And Other Things You Hate, a new book written by Emily K Sandoz, assistant professor of psychology at University of Louisiana at Lafayette, LA, doesn’t tell you that your negative thoughts about your body are wrong and your feelings irrational.
Instead, it tells you that it’s ok to feel bad about the way you look from time to time, and teaches you how to accept these negative thoughts without allowing them to dominate, and ruin, your life. It won’t be an easy journey though. The book gives you a series of exercises that you will have to complete if you’re serious about improving your body image. And these exercises are tough, even painful.
Painful because they will force you to remember memories that you would rather remained hidden forever, and face issues that will evoke distressing feelings. But you can’t heal if you don’t. To help relax and focus while you’re doing them, you can listen to the audio tracks that come with the book. Unfortunately, a notebook and a pen aren’t included as well, which is a shame because you’ll have to write and revise your notes quite often.
Does ACT work for everyone? Nope. We are all different, and what works for one person may not work for another. That’s true for a moisturizer, a medicine, or a therapy. But if you’re tried everything else without getting any results, then why not give ACT a go too? After all, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Did it work for me? Well, I’ve read this book at a time when I feel comfortable with my body, but the techniques it teaches can be applied to other areas of your life, like depression and anxiety, for example. Anxiety is something I’ve always battled with, and although ACT didn’t completely cure it yet, it is certainly helping me. If you’re willing to try something new, it may help you too.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with liking all things beauty and want to present your best face to the world. I’m a beauty blogger after all, so you’ll often find me in beauty shops swatching that lipstick or testing that foundation. I’m also a big believer that a girl can never have too many nail polishes (or blushes, or body creams, or whatever). Experimenting with makeup and pampering your skin with a new mask can be enjoyable, and even empowering, experiences.
The problem starts when you purchase that self-tanner because you believe that your pale skin is ugly and needs to be covered, or that bronzer because your chubby cheeks make you so uncomfortable that you refuse to step out of the house without contouring them, or that foundation because you can’t bear the thought that someone, even just your mom or your significant other, should see your bare face.
When you worry so much about your appearance, your insecurities prevent you from living your life to the full. If you’ve turned down a friend’s invitation to go the beach because you think you look ugly in a bikini, or refused to apply for a job for fear of being rejected for not looking pretty enough, or are constantly asking your partner for reassurance that they really love because you’re scared you’ll soon get damped for someone taller or slimmer, then it’s time to admit you have a problem.
It’s time you start thinking about your body in a different way, and accept and love the way you look. Easier said than done, I know. If you hate your body, you have probably tried everything, from crazy diets to celebrity-endorsed products to simply shrugging your shoulders and telling yourself that looks aren’t that important anyway, but without success. Those negative feelings about your appearance are still there. You just can’t seem to let them go.
What if you don’t have to? Not completely anyway? No, I’m not mad, although the first time I heard about this new approach, I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow too. I’m talking about ACT (pronounced as a word, not letters), short for Acceptance And Commitment Therapy. Based on this new therapy, Living With Your Body And Other Things You Hate, a new book written by Emily K Sandoz, assistant professor of psychology at University of Louisiana at Lafayette, LA, doesn’t tell you that your negative thoughts about your body are wrong and your feelings irrational.
Instead, it tells you that it’s ok to feel bad about the way you look from time to time, and teaches you how to accept these negative thoughts without allowing them to dominate, and ruin, your life. It won’t be an easy journey though. The book gives you a series of exercises that you will have to complete if you’re serious about improving your body image. And these exercises are tough, even painful.
Painful because they will force you to remember memories that you would rather remained hidden forever, and face issues that will evoke distressing feelings. But you can’t heal if you don’t. To help relax and focus while you’re doing them, you can listen to the audio tracks that come with the book. Unfortunately, a notebook and a pen aren’t included as well, which is a shame because you’ll have to write and revise your notes quite often.
Does ACT work for everyone? Nope. We are all different, and what works for one person may not work for another. That’s true for a moisturizer, a medicine, or a therapy. But if you’re tried everything else without getting any results, then why not give ACT a go too? After all, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Did it work for me? Well, I’ve read this book at a time when I feel comfortable with my body, but the techniques it teaches can be applied to other areas of your life, like depression and anxiety, for example. Anxiety is something I’ve always battled with, and although ACT didn’t completely cure it yet, it is certainly helping me. If you’re willing to try something new, it may help you too.
December 30, 2014
There is a lot of useful information, exercises and advice in this book related to body image. That being said, it did not help me towards any improvements in my own body image as I am quite stubborn and persistent in my beliefs, especially regarding myself (any self help books for stubborn and persistent?). With that being said, most body image issues develop during adolescence and I believe that it is at this time in a person's life when this book would be most useful. I do agree with other reviewers that some of the exercises and advice presented in this book can be adapted to address other aspects of a person's self-image that may be causing them unhappiness or distress as well. Overall, an excellent book to use as a tool, especially with adolescents, to start discussions with and address issues related to body image issues. I rated this book five stars because it addresses a critical issue for many teens and adults.
Notes - I won this book from Goodreads.com and no audio-tracks were included with my copy.
Notes - I won this book from Goodreads.com and no audio-tracks were included with my copy.
March 30, 2014
I really wish I had gotten my hands on this book a lot sooner. It coaches you through ways you can change your views on your body. This book also makes you realize that you need to love yourself the way that you are and be content. This would have really helped with me while I was going through the circumstances this book helps you with. I highly recommend this book to any girl or boy who have body image difficulties. There is no magic where ,BAM!,you feel better automatically. No, you have to work for it but let me tell you, it is worth it.
October 28, 2015
Living with Your Body and Other Things You Hate offers the reader a different way to address their body image issues. Quite frankly, it is refreshing. If you are ready to do the work and change the way you think, then I suggest that you pick up this book and discover the acceptance and commitment therapy. - See more at: http://www.vmc-artdesign.com/vmc-foru...
August 8, 2014
Excellent book. Step by step instructions for you to learn how to love your body. This book should be a must read for everyone. By the time I finished it, I was so much more in tune with myself. Thanks to the author. I am going through it again with my husband.
August 8, 2014
The exercises in the book are very helpful, and the audio tracks are fantastic.
The techniques taught in this book can be applied to other issues, like anxiety, depression, or just improving performance in some way.
The techniques taught in this book can be applied to other issues, like anxiety, depression, or just improving performance in some way.
March 3, 2014
This is one of the better self help books I have read in awhile. I really like the audio practice clips that come with it. I do think that a workbook would be a great addition too.
February 3, 2014
Good reads winner!
Everything I expected and more! I work in psych and this is definitely a useful tool. My only regret is that I didn't get "DBT made simple". I highly suggest this.
Everything I expected and more! I work in psych and this is definitely a useful tool. My only regret is that I didn't get "DBT made simple". I highly suggest this.
December 7, 2014
Great book! The audio is a perfect companion for the book. Although the book was written for body image, it can be used to help a person improve themselves in other areas of their life.
August 26, 2015
This was nothing new but it was presented in a decent way though I gave up about 70 pages in. It's CBT with a different emphasis.
March 29, 2017
Maybe because I've already read lots of other books that use an ACT approach, but I found this one to be shallow and not particularly informative or helpful. I didn't even get through the whole thing.
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews