Tiana crosses swords with demons, barbarians, vampire nuns! On a quest to find her lost brother, Tiana of Reme, foster daughter of a pirate captain, ventures on a dangerous journey toward her greatest challenge- the Battle of the Wizards!
This is Red Sonja with the serial numbers filed off. It's also the best sword and sorcery novel that I have read in a long time. Vampire nuns, living shadows, monstrous animals and insects, were-beasts, cunning sorcerers, killer plants, hungry ghouls, people riding on thunder storms, and huge armies clashing in bloody battle; you can almost hear crushing heavy metal music blast out of the pages at you.
It's also short enough that it doesn't overstay its welcome. Offutt stuffed this thing full of nonstop action and cut out all of the junk that other authors might have padded this story out with. This book literally doesn't slow down until you finish the last page.
This is the first volume of an heroic fantasy trilogy, but stands quite well on its own. Inspired by Moore's Jirel of Joiry and perhaps Howard's Red Sonja, Tiana is a bright and courageous adventurer who swashes her buckles across an imaginative world of pirates and evil sorcerers and great treasures and all such manner of fine fantasy tropes. The writing tends to be a tad overly florid at times, but it's a fine entertainment for a Spring afternoon.
Oh dear God, I just realized there are two more books in this series?! Nope.
+ 1 Star for having a cover with a chick wearing a brass bikini, but damn, talk about saddle soar, ouch!
+1 Star for vampiric nuns that worship a giant flesh eating bat.
0 stars for a plot that really defies description: so, she decides to join in on this super-obvious bad idea of a plan to maybe save her long-lost brother (whose name is Bealost—I’m not making that up); a brother she maybe saw once as a very young child, but somehow remembers...rubbish.
This book comes from an era when a writer could convince a publisher “hey, look, put a skimpy Babe on the cover with the words ‘in the tradition of Conan’, people will buy it. I can have it to you by end of next week, if I start writing tomorrow”.
This was a pulpy adventure. It had all sorts of sword & sorcery action, horror (vampire nuns!), shock & awe (locks changing into snakes!) crammed into close to two-hundred pages full of text printed in font size 6. Above all, it had a Red Sonja-esque character in chainmail bikini atop a horse in the cover. Good stuff, except the tiny dense text that gave me a headache. Man, when your women are all bosomy and buxom, why be so miserly in font-size?
It’s kind of funny, but I read the second and third books of this series about twenty years ago. I just realized I never found the first, and saw it on kindle. I would say this is probably the superior book in the series. A non stop sword and sorcery fest dominated by the pirate captain Tiana. Offutt write some pretty good S &S back in the day, and his Howard characters’ pastiches were always entertaining. This book was a fun read, and if you haven’t read it as a sword and sorcery fan, you should. The brash, young Tiana seems more like a Red Sonja than the Smith and Tierney version books. Tiana takes no prisoners, and I enjoyed it.
A cover that raises the question: "Horseriding in a brass bikini? Doesn't that pinch?"
Overall, it's an entertaining story, consisting of a series of episodic adventures as Tiana obtains the necessary mummified wizardly body parts for this-doesn't-sound-like-a-good-idea reasons.
But never mind logic or motivation! Or the writing that occasionally tries too hard and winds up using the words like "nigh" and "ere" in narration, or reverses the word order for...I don't know, dramatic effect or something ("A pirate craft she was")! Or the fact that Offutt doesn't seem to know how many a "score" of items are (extremely youthful maidens are apparently twoscore years old, while Tiana is threescore)! Or that the entire motivation for her involvement doesn't stand close examination (being that Tiana, as an illegitimate child of a prominent Duke, was adopted by a pirate captain at a young age, yet she cares deeply for the half brother who she...never met? Met briefly? Saw at a distance?)! Or the fact that the deal with this Lamarred character stinks to high Heaven from the first moment!
After all, there are vampire nuns to deal with! Kingly tombs to rob!Grotesque overgrown gardens of death to...violently prune! Extraordinarily dangerous hang-gliding to accomplish! Body parts to assemble! Mirrors to stare into! She has to comment on her own appearance frequently and think about its effect on the surrounding men! And then kill them!
The story moves briskly, and each episode is sized such that none become tedious.
I needed some good trash to cheer me up after reading Stormbringer and boy did this book deliver! Our protagonist Tiana is basically pirate Red Sonja..who is tasked by mysterious hooded guy with finding the body parts of an old sorcerer in return for helping her find her lost brother. It’s got Demons, Pirates, Barbarians and Vampire nuns ⚔️
“Tiana crosses swords with demons, barbarians, vampire nuns!
On a quest to find her lost brother, Tiana of Reme, foster daughter of a pirate captain, ventures on a dangerous journey toward her greatest challenge- the Battle of the Wizards!” –The back cover
“Tiana, warrior supreme, sails her pirate ship on a perilous quest through the mists of alien lands!” –The front cover
Copyright 1978 by Pocket Books (this is a later publication but no date is given inside). $2.50 cover price. 189 pages.
Demon in the Mirror packs a lot of sexy, sexy action in less than two hundred pages. This book is very reminiscent of Robert E. Howard's dark fantasy novels, which makes a lot of sense given that Offutt penned half a dozen or so Conan novels in the seventies and eighties. Plenty of detail is given when it comes to A) Tiara's heaving bosom, B) visceral gore, and C) the combination of the two. Here are some examples:
“Bloodstains marred her garb now, but she smiled. The clothing had been calculated; Tiana knew well her looks, and she well knew men. She'd been much on display, and, if those fool Narokans had chosen to gape at her body when they should have been plying their swords, why then that was their problem.” (11)
“Maltar's opague black eyes roamed the lovely figure, but with the dispassionate interest of a farmer inspecting a pig on slaughter day. Those exquisitely formed features, the rounded thighs crowding her snug short breeks, the full perfect breasts so displayed—all, he knew comprised a death trap.” (90)
“The dressmaker was more than expert, and she commanded a small army of seamstresses. In a few hours, Tiana was arrayed in a lovely gown of scintillant green silk. She loved it, not merely because its beauty enhanced hers, but because it was intelligently made... She particularly admired the exhibition the gown afforded her fullformed breasts.” (160)
There you go: approximately 5% of the allusions to Tiana's “perfect body” made in Demon In the Mirror. Luckily, the novel isn't entirely romance fluff. Offutt and Lyon craft a well-executed and somewhat interesting plot behind all the breasts and dismemberment. Like many “low fantasy” novels, Demon In the Mirror features a group of plotting wizards who send Tiana and her crew on a series of dire quests that will require both cunning and swordplay to accomplish.
In order to find the whereabouts of her missing brother, Tiana must seek out the dismembered and scattered pieces of the immortal and pretty damn evil sorcerer Lamarred. After the initial few set-up chapters, the remainder of the novel is a violent scavenger hunt during which the reader gets to watch Tiana bounce and jiggle her way around a vivid fantasy world, outsmarting (and usually killing) anyone or anything who gets in her way. At one point, a completely naked Tiana 'slays' a VAMPIRE NUN. Actually, she kills quite a few monsters and bandits while completely in the buff, typically after she has been captured and tied up…
I approve of this book. Bring on the rest of the scantily clad trilogy!
This is from back in the day when all a fantasy novel needed was a Frank Frazetta cover and a dream. It's shameless in having Red Sonja for a heroine in all but name and a complete plot coupon storyline, but that just means the plot never gets in the way of having a good time. Within the first few pages, 'Tiana Highrider' (she's even a redhead) is being a pirate captain, breaking into the vault of a captured ship, and defying more death-traps than a D&D module.
From there, we're launched into a wad of undigestible exposition. Tiana is really a princess from a deposed royal family and she has a brother and there's a wizard who knows things she wants to know but he's been killed and his body parts scattered far and wide, so Tiana has to put him back together, resurrect him, and kill him for good.
Once you've managed to swallow that horse pill of a plot, you're basically in for a chain of short stories. Tiana goes against vampire nuns, man-eating plants, and of course, unpronounceable names. One chapter boasts both Dorbandura *and* Turgumbruda, so you get your money's worth when it comes to syllables.
The writing is maybe not so bad it's good, but definitely from the day when good prose was considered anything that sent you reaching for a dictionary. As if thinking plants weren't enough, we get 'cerebrating' plants. One something-or-other is referred to as "perdurably divagating," which is a puzzle you get on Jeopardy after you cut Alex Trebek off in traffic.
If this all seems a bit landlocked for a pirate queen, we also get vignettes told from the point of view of her black sidekick/adopted father Carange. As we all know, every strong female character needs a man that's both totally devoted to her and does nothing to impede her sexual availability. And, because he's a black man in a Conantic, he's also a former cannibal.
Speaking of sexual availability, Offnut doesn't dig into his John Cleve bag of tricks, but Tiana does seem to spend an awful lot of time stripped naked, bound, or threatened with rape. She has about as much use for clothes as Dejah Thoris and is able to chop up offenders as easily as she does every other Random Encounter on the table, but it makes for a semi-smutty reading experience, akin to all those Italian Conan riffs that were sure to cast Playboy Playmates in starring roles--and *not* for their acting ability.
So obviously, we're not dealing with Lord of the Rings here. Not even Sword of Shannara. This is a book with basically zero redeeming quality save that it's a hell of a lot of fun. And it actually comes to a conclusive ending instead of immediately patting the reader down for more money. Onto the next book; I need to see if thews get mentioned.
I once read someone describe the War of the Wizards series by the late, great Andrew Offutt and Richard Lyon, and the series' protagonist, the lusty and busty Tiana Highrider of Reme, as "Red Sonja with the VIN numbers filed off". That of course made me interested in reading the book immediately, and I wasn't disappointed.
Pirate Queen Tiana is thrust into a conflict between magical forces beyond her experience and skill set, but years on the ocean have made her ingenious and resourceful. Tiana is no shrinking violet, but nor is she some unstoppable girlboss. She's tough, resilient, and clever, capable of making hard choices but knows her limitations. She's also not above a tankard of ale or a roll in the hay when opportunity provides them, and takes a certain amount of immodest pride in her physical charms.
Offutt and Lyon create a likable and engaging heroine, who overcomes adversity through believable if occasionally spectacular means. She also has a decent supporting cast, including her father Caranga who's on a quest of his own, and Prince Eltorn, master of a besieged city for whom Tiana decides to offer aid. There's not a whole lot of world building, the setting mostly serving to provide the backdrop for the exploits of Tiana and the people in her orbit. This was a fun book and a great start to the series, and I plan to read the rest as soon as possible.
I once read someone describe the War of the Wizards series by the late, great Andrew Offutt and Richard Lyon, and the series' protagonist, the lusty and busty Tiana Highrider of Reme, as "Red Sonja with the VIN numbers filed off". That of course made me interested in reading the book immediately, and I wasn't disappointed.
Pirate Queen Tiana is thrust into a conflict between magical forces beyond her experience and skill set, but years on the ocean have made her ingenious and resourceful. Tiana is no shrinking violet, but nor is she some unstoppable girlboss. She's tough, resilient, and clever, capable of making hard choices but knows her limitations. She's also not above a tankard of ale or a roll in the hay when opportunity provides them, and takes a certain amount of immodest pride in her physical charms.
Offutt and Lyon create a likable and engaging heroine, who overcomes adversity through believable if occasionally spectacular means. She also has a decent supporting cast, including her father Caranga who's on a quest of his own, and Prince Eltorn, master of a besieged city for whom Tiana decides to offer aid. There's not a whole lot of world building, the setting mostly serving to provide the backdrop for the exploits of Tiana and the people in her orbit. This was a fun book and a great start to the series, and I plan to read the rest as soon as possible.
Not the best Sword & Sorcery novel, but it still makes for a somewhat fun read. In this case, we have a Red Sonja type hero who battles men, demons, and wizards with her swift wit and even swifter rapier.
The idea was excellent. It is a welcome change to have female medieval leaders and heroines, and though the main character vanquished every foe, the writers avoided Dirk Pitt The Superhuman Effect. It's not as deep a world as Tolkien, nor done with as much background as Niven, but enjoyable all the same. In some sections it gets a little punch drunk with adjectives, but I never had to channel the ghost of Hemingway when reading about fantasy lepers. Ahem.
However, not a chapter goes by and there is a discussion of Captain Tiana's otherworldly breasts, and conveniently (or inconveniently), fantasy medieval worlds are evidently bereft of brassieres. Their form. Their shape. Their ability to distract (mostly) male enemies. The jealousy they inspire in other females. Their bounciness. Their ability to look astounding when in foreign, unusual clothes. The comments that wizards and innkeepers make, this being a galaxy other than ours where unionized construction workers occupy that space.
The front cover art is even composed with said breasts exactly in the middle, predating 21st century ads and magazines by 30 years.
Thus, on the whole, enjoyable but marred just a bit.