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Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality: A New Clinical Approach
This book explores a reparative psychotherapy based on an understanding of the development of gender identity, offering to help the non-gay homosexual, that is, one who is unhappy with his sexual orientation. A Jason Aronson Book
374 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1991
15 people are currently reading
163 people want to read
About the author
Joseph Nicolosi
10 books49 followersJoseph Nicolosi is an American clinical psychologist, founder and director of the Thomas Aquinas Psychological Clinic in Encino, California, and a founder and former president of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality.
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
October 24, 2012
What the actual fuck is a non-gay homosexual?
The reason gay people are unhappy is because of assholish book like this one.
The reason gay people are unhappy is because of assholish book like this one.
July 8, 2016
Heh, is there one for female homosexuality, too? And for heterosexuality?
I mean, I struggled with my (compulsory) heterosexuality for about three years, then found the perfect solution and started to realise I wasn't actually heterosexual, but what can you do?
Gah.
I mean, I struggled with my (compulsory) heterosexuality for about three years, then found the perfect solution and started to realise I wasn't actually heterosexual, but what can you do?
Gah.
July 26, 2025
ah, yes, non gay homosexuals. WTF is that?
nope-never
January 3, 2014This book explores a reparative psychotherapy based on an understanding of the development of gender identity, offering to help the non-gay homosexual, that is, one who is unhappy with his sexual orientation.
Really? The non-gay homosexual ?
Here I go again, books like this one and A Parent's Guide to Preventing Homosexuality and Healing Homosexuality: Case Stories of Reparative Therapy are hurtful, dangerous and scary.
It never ceases to amaze me that there is actually an audience for books like these. But then I watch the news and well, yeah...
I guess standing in the woods with a suit coat the same shade as the fall leaves and holding on to a tree branch has some kind of reparative effect.
On a side note, looking over this author's books and googling a bit, he does focus very strongly on the male homosexual, lesbians seem to be less threatening to him....hmmm..*ponders the thought*.
Really? The non-gay homosexual ?
Here I go again, books like this one and A Parent's Guide to Preventing Homosexuality and Healing Homosexuality: Case Stories of Reparative Therapy are hurtful, dangerous and scary.
It never ceases to amaze me that there is actually an audience for books like these. But then I watch the news and well, yeah...
I guess standing in the woods with a suit coat the same shade as the fall leaves and holding on to a tree branch has some kind of reparative effect.
On a side note, looking over this author's books and googling a bit, he does focus very strongly on the male homosexual, lesbians seem to be less threatening to him....hmmm..*ponders the thought*.
Read
January 3, 2014When will someone shut him up...permanently?? Why is such crap allowed to be published?? I think someone needs to use a new clinical approach on YOU, you complete moron!!
November 17, 2019
A clear alternative to “gay culture or gay ideology “ . Joseph Nicolosi explains very well what is going on in the depths of male homosexuality.
Some people don’t accept books like this one meanwhile we have to accept non documented ones. I don’t believe in insults or wrath but in well explain reasons.
The book of Nicolosi explains things in a clear way to those who want an alternative, Nicolosi is not imposing but offering a different way.
Some people don’t accept books like this one meanwhile we have to accept non documented ones. I don’t believe in insults or wrath but in well explain reasons.
The book of Nicolosi explains things in a clear way to those who want an alternative, Nicolosi is not imposing but offering a different way.
no-thanks
August 10, 2016
November 5, 2020
Probably those who gave negative reviews didn't go through it completely. But I can say that Joseph Nicolosi has a great idea about this condition. This book can be helpful for those having Gender Identity deficit.
But this entire book is applicable for those classic cases of homosexuals where the power balance and family structure was disturbed during toddler stage of the boy. The little minority who don't fit in that classic case may not relate to this.
But this entire book is applicable for those classic cases of homosexuals where the power balance and family structure was disturbed during toddler stage of the boy. The little minority who don't fit in that classic case may not relate to this.
April 16, 2022
This book is great , just be open minded and take a look at it , forget any presumptions and read it , it will definitely give you sth new
Read
July 27, 2025i want to throw joseph nicolosi into ancient greece and see how he survives all the male homosexuality
July 26, 2025
What the heck why would someone write this ? I question what is going through someone’s head when they wrote this cause they seriously need help
November 2, 2025
I bought and read this book twenty-five years ago. The claims it makes about the origin and treatment of male homosexuality hold just as true today as they did back then. They will always hold true, no matter what decade or century it is.
Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, a clinical psychologist who lived and practiced in California, states that homosexuality is a learned behavior, and if it can be learned, then it can be unlearned. The more motivated a man is and the more religious he is, the more likely he'll be able reach his goals – from acting out homosexually to uncovering his innate heterosexuality. The result? Lasting relationships with the opposite sex, many times leading to marriage and family life.
Throughout this amazing book, we learn that homosexuality is rooted in trauma wounds from early childhood. These trauma wounds can be traced back to a weak, passive father, a father who rarely if ever interacted with his son. Or the trauma wounds can result from an angry and distant father, who scared the boy away and never bonded with him.
One topic that’s discussed in this book is the so-called “gay gene” theory. This theory is questionable – highly questionable. Not only is the evidence for such a theory flimsy to non-existent, to state “It’s all in your genes” is simply an attempt to silence all conversation on this important issue, plus it denies much-needed treatment and healing for those who genuinely seek it out.
What do gay activists say about the “weak, passive father” argument? They laugh at and/or ignore it. But every male patient that has sat across from Dr. Nicolosi over the decades has had a weak, passive father and often an overly involved and domineering mother. Other factors leading to the origins of male homosexuality include but are not limited to the following: humiliating experiences with male peers, negative experiences with women, and sexual abuse by an older male. But all these factors fall into the environmental camp, not the biological camp.
With the origins of homosexuality being most likely environmental in nature, these deep trauma wounds impact a boy's future male gender development and identity. As a result, this causes many problems for the boy while growing up. These problems include feelings of inferiority and worthlessness as well as idealizing other males, whom the boy mistakenly believes possess traits he himself lacks, traits such as strength, confidence, charisma, etc. When the boy reaches the teenage years, these feelings will become sexualized.
Hence, same sex attractions and homosexuality.
In his clinical practice, Dr. Nicolosi and his team of psychologists have helped countless men, many featured in this book, to address and to heal their deep-seated trauma wounds, wounds they picked up as young boys, wounds that caused them to feel deficient in their manhood.
What happened when this deficiency in manhood occurred? These males began to long for their “lost masculinity.” They tried desperately to reconnect with it. How? Not through healthy, nonsexual relationships with other males, but through sexual intercourse with them. As the men in this book eventually found out – and as the men in Dr. Nicolosi’s practice also found out - they can never heal their male souls or be fulfilled in any meaningful way by having sex with other males. That’s because humans aren’t made this way.
Furthermore, as we also read in the book, many of these men found there was a physical, psychological, and spiritual incompatibility at work in male/male sexual relationships. They just didn’t work out. They never did. This led to a deep dissatisfaction in their lives, which led them to seek out Dr. Nicolosi for Reparative Therapy. In these intensive therapy sessions, these men learned how to repair their male gender wounds – that is, to locate and embrace their lost masculinity - in healthy, non-sexual ways.
As with all his other books and scholarly articles on homosexuality, this book discusses many ways men and women have made a journey out of homosexuality to heterosexuality. One of these ways is when the man develops “The Three A’s” between himself, his father, and his male peers. The “Three A’s” are the following: attention, affection, and acceptance.
The “Three A’s” are hugely important in the healing of early childhood trauma wounds and thus homosexuality.
With attention, the man receives the much-needed male attention he lacked while he was young.
With affection, he enters healthy, affectionate, and non-sexual relationships with other men (e.g., sports and study groups).
Finally, with acceptance, after trust has been established between him and his male peers, he feels a genuine sense of acceptance among them, something he’s rarely if ever experienced before in his life. The result? He’s “one of the boys” or “one of the guys.” When the Three A’s are working together in harmony, the long-dormant sense of maleness will emerge in his soul like a blazing sun, something he’ll discover when he makes the Three A's a constant part of his life.
Many of Dr. Nicolosi’s patients are now married with children, regularly dating, or have chosen to remain celibate.
Dr. Nicolosi offers us a fascinating viewpoint, and there’s a lot of clinical data to support it. This is well documented in Dr. Nicolosi’s books and scholarly articles. There is a gold mine of scholarly articles listed in this book, and one could spend a lifetime hunting them down in libraries, then reading and studying the brilliant psychological insights they contain, insights often ignored and/or suppressed.
This book should be required reading for parents, pastors, or anybody who wants to learn more about "the other side" of the debate. The tendency to only allow one viewpoint in the marketplace of ideas—or to persecute those who hold lesser-known or unpopular views—is typical of a pre-totalitarian culture.
This is hope for many men and women who wish to overcome their same-sex attractions, attractions that conflict with their strongly held values. For these men and women, homosexuality conflicts with who they are "deep down" as human beings. Dr. Nicolosi’s patients often say, “We know in the center of our souls that we’re heterosexuals, but we struggle with ‘a homosexual problem’.”
When I first discovered Dr. Joseph Nicolosi at twenty-two, he quickly became the most important man in my life. He is truly one of the bravest and intellectually rigorous men who ever lived, especially when one looks at the subject with which he dealt and the pushback he experienced, especially from within his own field.
I was very saddened to hear that Dr. Nicolosi had passed away so suddenly at seventy years of age. He was truly a miracle. I’m glad we’ve been blessed with his books and can listen to his public lectures. There aren’t many men and women like Dr. Joseph Nicolosi left in the world. For those of us who’ve greatly benefitted from the writings of Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, he was truly a godsend.
Highly Recommended
Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, a clinical psychologist who lived and practiced in California, states that homosexuality is a learned behavior, and if it can be learned, then it can be unlearned. The more motivated a man is and the more religious he is, the more likely he'll be able reach his goals – from acting out homosexually to uncovering his innate heterosexuality. The result? Lasting relationships with the opposite sex, many times leading to marriage and family life.
Throughout this amazing book, we learn that homosexuality is rooted in trauma wounds from early childhood. These trauma wounds can be traced back to a weak, passive father, a father who rarely if ever interacted with his son. Or the trauma wounds can result from an angry and distant father, who scared the boy away and never bonded with him.
One topic that’s discussed in this book is the so-called “gay gene” theory. This theory is questionable – highly questionable. Not only is the evidence for such a theory flimsy to non-existent, to state “It’s all in your genes” is simply an attempt to silence all conversation on this important issue, plus it denies much-needed treatment and healing for those who genuinely seek it out.
What do gay activists say about the “weak, passive father” argument? They laugh at and/or ignore it. But every male patient that has sat across from Dr. Nicolosi over the decades has had a weak, passive father and often an overly involved and domineering mother. Other factors leading to the origins of male homosexuality include but are not limited to the following: humiliating experiences with male peers, negative experiences with women, and sexual abuse by an older male. But all these factors fall into the environmental camp, not the biological camp.
With the origins of homosexuality being most likely environmental in nature, these deep trauma wounds impact a boy's future male gender development and identity. As a result, this causes many problems for the boy while growing up. These problems include feelings of inferiority and worthlessness as well as idealizing other males, whom the boy mistakenly believes possess traits he himself lacks, traits such as strength, confidence, charisma, etc. When the boy reaches the teenage years, these feelings will become sexualized.
Hence, same sex attractions and homosexuality.
In his clinical practice, Dr. Nicolosi and his team of psychologists have helped countless men, many featured in this book, to address and to heal their deep-seated trauma wounds, wounds they picked up as young boys, wounds that caused them to feel deficient in their manhood.
What happened when this deficiency in manhood occurred? These males began to long for their “lost masculinity.” They tried desperately to reconnect with it. How? Not through healthy, nonsexual relationships with other males, but through sexual intercourse with them. As the men in this book eventually found out – and as the men in Dr. Nicolosi’s practice also found out - they can never heal their male souls or be fulfilled in any meaningful way by having sex with other males. That’s because humans aren’t made this way.
Furthermore, as we also read in the book, many of these men found there was a physical, psychological, and spiritual incompatibility at work in male/male sexual relationships. They just didn’t work out. They never did. This led to a deep dissatisfaction in their lives, which led them to seek out Dr. Nicolosi for Reparative Therapy. In these intensive therapy sessions, these men learned how to repair their male gender wounds – that is, to locate and embrace their lost masculinity - in healthy, non-sexual ways.
As with all his other books and scholarly articles on homosexuality, this book discusses many ways men and women have made a journey out of homosexuality to heterosexuality. One of these ways is when the man develops “The Three A’s” between himself, his father, and his male peers. The “Three A’s” are the following: attention, affection, and acceptance.
The “Three A’s” are hugely important in the healing of early childhood trauma wounds and thus homosexuality.
With attention, the man receives the much-needed male attention he lacked while he was young.
With affection, he enters healthy, affectionate, and non-sexual relationships with other men (e.g., sports and study groups).
Finally, with acceptance, after trust has been established between him and his male peers, he feels a genuine sense of acceptance among them, something he’s rarely if ever experienced before in his life. The result? He’s “one of the boys” or “one of the guys.” When the Three A’s are working together in harmony, the long-dormant sense of maleness will emerge in his soul like a blazing sun, something he’ll discover when he makes the Three A's a constant part of his life.
Many of Dr. Nicolosi’s patients are now married with children, regularly dating, or have chosen to remain celibate.
Dr. Nicolosi offers us a fascinating viewpoint, and there’s a lot of clinical data to support it. This is well documented in Dr. Nicolosi’s books and scholarly articles. There is a gold mine of scholarly articles listed in this book, and one could spend a lifetime hunting them down in libraries, then reading and studying the brilliant psychological insights they contain, insights often ignored and/or suppressed.
This book should be required reading for parents, pastors, or anybody who wants to learn more about "the other side" of the debate. The tendency to only allow one viewpoint in the marketplace of ideas—or to persecute those who hold lesser-known or unpopular views—is typical of a pre-totalitarian culture.
This is hope for many men and women who wish to overcome their same-sex attractions, attractions that conflict with their strongly held values. For these men and women, homosexuality conflicts with who they are "deep down" as human beings. Dr. Nicolosi’s patients often say, “We know in the center of our souls that we’re heterosexuals, but we struggle with ‘a homosexual problem’.”
When I first discovered Dr. Joseph Nicolosi at twenty-two, he quickly became the most important man in my life. He is truly one of the bravest and intellectually rigorous men who ever lived, especially when one looks at the subject with which he dealt and the pushback he experienced, especially from within his own field.
I was very saddened to hear that Dr. Nicolosi had passed away so suddenly at seventy years of age. He was truly a miracle. I’m glad we’ve been blessed with his books and can listen to his public lectures. There aren’t many men and women like Dr. Joseph Nicolosi left in the world. For those of us who’ve greatly benefitted from the writings of Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, he was truly a godsend.
Highly Recommended
September 11, 2022
This book is amazing and profound. It was truly like reading a story of my life growing up and I could see my life experience in everything he says. That is my truth and other reviewers should be more respectful. I wish I would have been able to read this when I was a teenager or very young adult as I think it would have really helped me and provided an alternative to the current models of either gay affirmative or anti-gay (normally religious.) This book is full of truth (I can say from life experience) that sadly is being denied at the moment. A lot of the negative reviews are from people who have either not read it or are unwilling to actually debate/research these issues and instead resort to mudslinging. I also find it very odd that so many female reviewers are on here giving negative reviews since the book is entirely about male sexual issues.
August 13, 2024
THE EXTREMELY CONTROVERSIAL BOOK SUGGESTING "CHANGE" (RATHER THAN "CURE")
The author wrote in the Preface to this 1991 book, "The psychotherapy of male homosexuals has been explored for many years. What is new in this book is the interweaving of several strands of clinical research: the development of male gender-identity... and the techniques of psychodynamic psychotherapy of male homosexuality..." He asserts, "the homosexual condition is a developmental problem---and one that often results from early problems between father and son. Heterosexual development necessitates the support and cooperation of both parents as the boy disidentifies from mother and identifies with father. Failure in relationship with father may result in failure to internalize male gender-identity." (Pg. xvi)
He states forcefully, "Yet in the history of psychiatry, has a heterosexual ever sought treatment for distress about his homosexuality and wished to become homosexual? When I put that question in correspondence to the chairman of the DSM Nomenclature Committee, Robert L. Spitzer, he replied, `The answer, as you suspected, is no.'" (Pg. 9) He admits, "Historically, the cure rate in the treatment of homosexuality has been low. In those few studies that do claim success, the percentage of clients converted to heterosexuality runs from 15 to 30 percent, and there is question whether `cure' was maintained on long-term follow-up. Such results have culminated in an acceptance of the condition." (Pg. 11)
He contends, "Homosexuality is a developmental problem that is almost always the result of problems in family relations, particularly between father and son. As a result of failure with father, the boy does not fully internalize male gender-identity, and develops homosexually. This is the most commonly seen clinical model." (Pg. 25) He adds, "Although heterosexual men may describe their fathers unfavorably, homosexual men are stronger in their rejection of their father as a model." (Pg. 45)
He observes, "the central cause of gay promiscuity is to be found in the inherently unfulfilling character of the homosexual condition." (Pg. 140) He concedes, "Treatment before the early twenties has its particular difficulties... Prognosis is also poorer with older men over 35. For too many, their deeply ingrained sexual patterns have made them cynical about change." (Pg. 164-165) He later adds, "If our use of the word `change' rather than `cure' sounds pessimistic, one should consider the use of the word `cure' as it applies to other psychiatric conditions." (Pg. 166)
Few people will remain "neutral" about Nicolosi's book; but it is better to read it for oneself and form one's own opinion, than rely on second-hand opinions taken from others.
The author wrote in the Preface to this 1991 book, "The psychotherapy of male homosexuals has been explored for many years. What is new in this book is the interweaving of several strands of clinical research: the development of male gender-identity... and the techniques of psychodynamic psychotherapy of male homosexuality..." He asserts, "the homosexual condition is a developmental problem---and one that often results from early problems between father and son. Heterosexual development necessitates the support and cooperation of both parents as the boy disidentifies from mother and identifies with father. Failure in relationship with father may result in failure to internalize male gender-identity." (Pg. xvi)
He states forcefully, "Yet in the history of psychiatry, has a heterosexual ever sought treatment for distress about his homosexuality and wished to become homosexual? When I put that question in correspondence to the chairman of the DSM Nomenclature Committee, Robert L. Spitzer, he replied, `The answer, as you suspected, is no.'" (Pg. 9) He admits, "Historically, the cure rate in the treatment of homosexuality has been low. In those few studies that do claim success, the percentage of clients converted to heterosexuality runs from 15 to 30 percent, and there is question whether `cure' was maintained on long-term follow-up. Such results have culminated in an acceptance of the condition." (Pg. 11)
He contends, "Homosexuality is a developmental problem that is almost always the result of problems in family relations, particularly between father and son. As a result of failure with father, the boy does not fully internalize male gender-identity, and develops homosexually. This is the most commonly seen clinical model." (Pg. 25) He adds, "Although heterosexual men may describe their fathers unfavorably, homosexual men are stronger in their rejection of their father as a model." (Pg. 45)
He observes, "the central cause of gay promiscuity is to be found in the inherently unfulfilling character of the homosexual condition." (Pg. 140) He concedes, "Treatment before the early twenties has its particular difficulties... Prognosis is also poorer with older men over 35. For too many, their deeply ingrained sexual patterns have made them cynical about change." (Pg. 164-165) He later adds, "If our use of the word `change' rather than `cure' sounds pessimistic, one should consider the use of the word `cure' as it applies to other psychiatric conditions." (Pg. 166)
Few people will remain "neutral" about Nicolosi's book; but it is better to read it for oneself and form one's own opinion, than rely on second-hand opinions taken from others.
June 21, 2024
The author’s data on gay traits and behaviors is on solid ground. I recognize a lot of emotional and relationship issues from my own life, and those of my friends. However, the author’s “defensive detachment” theory doesn’t sound right to me. It creates convoluted, unfalsifiable backstories to explain rather simple things.
For example: a homosexual man does not like to think about naked women. Which explanation makes the most sense?
1. Duh, he’s gay
2. A pile of complex excuses and justifications
The book goes for answer 2 every time.
The sample therapy sessions have the same problem. Listening to clients and exploring their emotions was good. But the “defensive detachment” framework was imposed even when client responses didn’t support it.
For example: a homosexual man does not like to think about naked women. Which explanation makes the most sense?
1. Duh, he’s gay
2. A pile of complex excuses and justifications
The book goes for answer 2 every time.
The sample therapy sessions have the same problem. Listening to clients and exploring their emotions was good. But the “defensive detachment” framework was imposed even when client responses didn’t support it.
July 3, 2023
*Stop being gay today!*
Good news! There is hope in overcoming the affliction known as homosexuality and it isn’t just celibacy. Using the reparative therapy model, you have the chance to heal your wounds inflicted in childhood.
The same-sex attracted individuals review-bombing this book would do well to actually read it. In comparing his clients’ motivations and life histories, Dr. Nicolosi draws a clear picture of a man who is in search of the masculine and finds it in others, though in a most unhealthy fashion. While reading his client interactions, one suspects that these men were not, in fact, “born that way.”
Good news! There is hope in overcoming the affliction known as homosexuality and it isn’t just celibacy. Using the reparative therapy model, you have the chance to heal your wounds inflicted in childhood.
The same-sex attracted individuals review-bombing this book would do well to actually read it. In comparing his clients’ motivations and life histories, Dr. Nicolosi draws a clear picture of a man who is in search of the masculine and finds it in others, though in a most unhealthy fashion. While reading his client interactions, one suspects that these men were not, in fact, “born that way.”
December 17, 2017
As a blatantly, overtly heterosexual male who's been happily married to my wife for the past twenty years, this kind of book makes me wonder what the author's agenda is. Reparative therapy has been debunked time and again. This is simply drivel, IMO, that seeks to shame a group of people for what they are. Nothing more and nothing less. As if there wasn't enough of a stigma against gay people, this kind of drek has to come along.
No, thank you.
No, thank you.
July 26, 2025
why don't instead of hating on the gays you be grateful that someone could even have the slightest chance of being attracted to you?? as much as i feel bad for the poor, obviously masochistic guy just be lucky that someone could be attracted to your bullshit you absolute dickwad 🥰
June 12, 2023
The book is just about trying to shame gay people and gay culture. I wonder is there any explanation of him to female homosexuality as well. Truly disappointing piece of work.
June 7, 2016
The only reparations due to homosexuals are to those poor humans that Dr. Nicolosi tried to counsel. His books are wholly horrible. Shame on this "clinical psychologist."
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews