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Together Forever: The Gay Man's Guide To Lifelong Love
A loving, lasting, committed relationship
One of the greatest challenges that gay men face today is deciding to be in a long-term committed relationship and then learning how to make it work. Dr. Kantor busts the myths that exist in the gay community about relationships and gives gay men a model for healthy, happy marriages (legal or not).
-Why the fate of your relationship is more important than the health and well-being of your sofa
-Why you should choose commitment and work to make the relationship strong
-How to have good, plenty, and forever sex
-The secrets of keeping your man, your friends and your family happy (even "difficult" loved ones)
-Ways to avoid damage to your relationship from third parties that don't have your best interests at heart
"Peppered with hilarious proverbs, insightful quizzes and fascinating anecdotes, Together Forever is honestly refreshing, and goes against the grain of most tired self-help books. You'll learn the art of the compromise and how to truly give of yourself--without losing yourself--for the sake of a joyful, committed partnership."
--Raeleen D'Agostino Mautner, PhD,
author of Living la Dolce Vita
Dr. Martin Kantor is a psychiatrist specializing in gay men's issues. He is the author of My Guy. He lives with his partner of 22 years in New Jersey.
One of the greatest challenges that gay men face today is deciding to be in a long-term committed relationship and then learning how to make it work. Dr. Kantor busts the myths that exist in the gay community about relationships and gives gay men a model for healthy, happy marriages (legal or not).
-Why the fate of your relationship is more important than the health and well-being of your sofa
-Why you should choose commitment and work to make the relationship strong
-How to have good, plenty, and forever sex
-The secrets of keeping your man, your friends and your family happy (even "difficult" loved ones)
-Ways to avoid damage to your relationship from third parties that don't have your best interests at heart
"Peppered with hilarious proverbs, insightful quizzes and fascinating anecdotes, Together Forever is honestly refreshing, and goes against the grain of most tired self-help books. You'll learn the art of the compromise and how to truly give of yourself--without losing yourself--for the sake of a joyful, committed partnership."
--Raeleen D'Agostino Mautner, PhD,
author of Living la Dolce Vita
Dr. Martin Kantor is a psychiatrist specializing in gay men's issues. He is the author of My Guy. He lives with his partner of 22 years in New Jersey.
261 pages, Paperback
First published November 1, 2005
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
August 11, 2018
This is indeed the best relationship book ever. And I have read a lot of them. Before the review, a small clarification: this book is a guide for couples. If you just want to find a guy and get into a relationship, the companion book - My Guy - is a better recommendation. Anyway, you will surely return to this book because it just works.
I must confess I managed to maintain my 5+ years relationship in no small part because of this amazing book which is excellently written, accesible and practical. Dr. Kantor's perspective builds on a structure that highlights the importance of: your motivation for a lifelong relationship, the myths and facts concerning relationships, the required steps in approaching relationship issues (the Seven "C"s and particularly the concept of coddling), the 9 danger zones (Boredom and Reslessness, Sexual Problems, Anger, Fear of Closeness and Committment, Self-Absorbtion, Uptighness, Paranoia, Excessive Dependency, Excessive Competitiveness). The books also deals with issues such as the other parties in the relationship or breakups and offers plenty of case studies and examples.
Dr. Kantor's approach is based on cultivating the power of positivity, acceptance and unconditional love in a relationship. Being motivated to stay in the relationship, to consider it a priority, adapting to it as much as possible, avoiding the issues that can cause friction and meeting the needs of your parner are basic principles on which this guide is built. Some of his ideas might first appear as counter-intuitive, but they are highly efficient, being obviously the result of a lifetime work in counseling individuals and couples.
Together Forever is, undoubtly, the most important book in my library. It helps me each and every day to improve my relationship and the results are as clear as possible. If you get in any kind of relationship trouble, do yourself a service and buy this book. I'm sure you will not be disappointed.
I must confess I managed to maintain my 5+ years relationship in no small part because of this amazing book which is excellently written, accesible and practical. Dr. Kantor's perspective builds on a structure that highlights the importance of: your motivation for a lifelong relationship, the myths and facts concerning relationships, the required steps in approaching relationship issues (the Seven "C"s and particularly the concept of coddling), the 9 danger zones (Boredom and Reslessness, Sexual Problems, Anger, Fear of Closeness and Committment, Self-Absorbtion, Uptighness, Paranoia, Excessive Dependency, Excessive Competitiveness). The books also deals with issues such as the other parties in the relationship or breakups and offers plenty of case studies and examples.
Dr. Kantor's approach is based on cultivating the power of positivity, acceptance and unconditional love in a relationship. Being motivated to stay in the relationship, to consider it a priority, adapting to it as much as possible, avoiding the issues that can cause friction and meeting the needs of your parner are basic principles on which this guide is built. Some of his ideas might first appear as counter-intuitive, but they are highly efficient, being obviously the result of a lifetime work in counseling individuals and couples.
Together Forever is, undoubtly, the most important book in my library. It helps me each and every day to improve my relationship and the results are as clear as possible. If you get in any kind of relationship trouble, do yourself a service and buy this book. I'm sure you will not be disappointed.
March 5, 2017
The best relationship book ever, even if you're not a gay man. Many of the tips here apply to platonic as well romantic relationships. I'm a single bisexual woman, came across this by accident, and it helped me immensely. Very funny too!
I still have it and will keep it, even though I'm not the target audience.
I still have it and will keep it, even though I'm not the target audience.
June 29, 2015
I think this is a must-read for gay men who want to be or are in relationships. The author talks about deferring to your partner in almost everything, which made me bristle at first, but once I finished the book, I had to agree with him. Too often, we go on the defensive and feel attacked. The author suggests you let things slide, and that might be the key to lasting relationships. If your boyfriend/husband is a slob, don't criticize him. Instead, go around and pick up all the things he leaves around. Instead of criticizing him for not shaving, remind him how good he looks when he shaves. Kindness is the key, not criticism. I'll be keeping this book with my permanent library and using it as a reference if and when I am in a committed relationship again.
September 27, 2012
A relationship guide to help you while your in a relationship and to avoid pitfalls before they happen.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews