Healing Homosexuality: Case Stories of Reparative Therapy

by Joseph Nicolosi

In 1973, when all the arguments were presented to the American Psychiatric Association both for and against the idea of homosexuality as pathology, it was the personal disclosures of gay men that had the most influence. Listening to their stories of frustration in treatment-and their newfound happiness through acceptance of a gay identity-the American Psychiatric Association voted to omit homosexuality as a diagnostic category. Now, twenty years later, Dr. Joseph Nicolosi presents the opposite kind of personal testimony. This testimony is from homosexual men who have tried to accept a gay identity but were dissatisfied, and then benefitted from psychotherapy to help free them of homosexuality. While each client has his unique story, Nicolosi has chosen eight men as representative of the personalities he has encountered in the twelve years during which he has treated over 200 homosexual clients. These men are engaged in a "two-front war"-an internal assault against their own unwanted desires, and an external battle against a popular culture that does not understand or value their struggle. In their own words, we hear these men's struggles to develop healthy, non-erotic male friendships. We hear of their fear and anger toward the men in their lives, and their strained relationships with the fathers they never understood. Nicolosi contends that every man possesses aspects of these clients: The frailty of Albert, the integrity of Charlie, the rage of Dan, the narcissism of Steve, and the ambivalence of Roger, to list some of them. Some readers of this book may be surprised by the directive style of Dr. Nicolosi's therapeutic intervention. In part, this is due to the editorial synthesis of the transcript. More importantly, however, reparative therapy does require a more involved therapist-a benevolent provocateur who departs from the tradition of uninvolved, opaque analyst to become a salient male presence. The therapist must balance active challenge with warm encouragement to follow the father-son model. T

Genres: Psychology

240 pages, Paperback

First published July 7, 1977

About the author

Joseph Nicolosi is an American clinical psychologist, founder and director of the Thomas Aquinas Psychological Clinic in Encino, California, and a founder and former president of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality.

Reviews

[Patricia]

I've got 99 problems, but ever having had to read this book ain't one. (Most of those 99 problems are related to its existence, though.)

I'm not sure how people can hold on to those medieval mindsets for so freakishly long. /sigh

[Pierce Samuel ✞︎ (Matching with Tampa) · Rating 1 out of 5]

Instructions unclear, I have now healed many homoPHOBES

[Brittany · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ohhh goody another shitty shit shit piece of wasted paper garbage I can bash on. Write these books all you want gay people aren't going to pretend to be straight for yours or any another persons satisfaction. Another thing to be racist about is all this shit is. This book can burn in hell all of your 5 copies that got sold from the 5 including yourself who bought this and the million that no even bothered to touch 'cause they realized it's a waste of time. These books are the ones that deserve to be on the banned shelf. Not the ones that stick up for homosexuality, but the ones that don't. People like you mess with people's heads saying they're sick and there's a demon in them. You're the one who is fucked up by making these people feel worthless and broken down to the point where they feel the need to fake that they are straight. They will never be straight no matter how much you try to "heal" them. They will only pretend to be so people like you can get off they're god damn back. Gay people are all around you deal with it and accept it as it is. You're not some savior. Your books and words make homosexuals want to commit suicide that's the fucking truth. You see it the news every day yet you continue to do this pointless shit. Good work you made people wanna commit suicide congratulations douche bag.

[Mandy*reads obsessively*]

Many many things in this world need to be healed.
Many are in need of healing. Cancer, heart disease, diabetes, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, auto immune diseases just to name a minuscule few.
One thing that does not need healing is homosexuality.
It's not a disease, it's not an illness, it needs healing about as much as having blue eyes does, or blond hair, or really big feet need it.
I feel saddened that this is still being sold as an 'illness' by some. In this case, I can only say physician heal thyself .

[Jay · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is a shame that so many people get so upset about this book without even seeing what it is about. As a struggling bisexual (for 32 years) this book speaks to emotions that many have, and

[Teresa · Rating 1 out of 5]

I still can't get my mind wrapped around the fact that they kill trees for this utterly disgusting, worthless piece of shit. To Nicolosi: I hate you for being the reason why homosexuals feel ashamed, insecure, and depressed because of their sexual identity. I hate you for being the cause of why millions and millions of homosexuals kill each other every year. And, most of all, I hate you for being the reason why God invented middle fingers.

[Vio · Rating 1 out of 5]

1 star for a disgusting and dangerous book, there is nothing to cure or fix here, a shitty and cruel work of fiction.

[Hector Himeros · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm gay and I sure don't wish to read this book! I can testify, NOONE and NOTHING made me gay! No porn, no adult reading, no homosexual demon, not even immoral friends! But still... BAM! I'm gay! If gay were illness as this book suggests, then whom should I blame? My parents? GOD???

Scientifically, this book is against medical and/or psychological facts that gay is natural. There are MANY evidences to support that gay CAN NOT be "cured", not even by so-called god. Look at Exodus and JONAH case. Not to mention, other CRAZY therapies which involve stroking horse, smelling excrement, chemical castration, electrocution, torture, drinking mother's milk, embracing other men, oranges in one's pants, etc.

The gay patients mentioned in this book shouldn't have been treated for their homosexuality, but for their gay-in-denial! I believe almost all gay people once suffer this, "thanks" to medieval religious doctrine. When I was teenager, I remembered I almost killed myself because I felt so sinful and abnormal, "thanks" to Jesus! But I managed to struggle all by MYSELF. The internet helped me realize I'm not alone. This is also why I later decide to dump religion! Religions do nothing to me but trying to TORTURE and make me KILL myself!

This book is DANGEROUS! It can prey on weak and inexperience gay people, making them feel more sick and abnormal and may leading them depressed & KILL themselves, like what I almost did once! Gays-in-denial are SICK PEOPLE. Please don't make them even sicker by feeding them LIES that they can be cured!!!

[Sandra · Rating 1 out of 5]

I think the title speaks for itself. *smh*

I am giving this book 1 star to express my sincere disgust with its content. Reparative therapy is not required for anyone in the LGBTQ community as their sexual orientation is not a lifestyle choice. To force children and adults into therapy to 'fix' their gayness is ludicrous and should be considered a severe violation of human rights.

This good for you, GR? It's about the book, yeah?

Fuck this book for being assholish bullshit.

[Evelyn Lily · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dear author.
It's far too late for you. The gay is everywhere, creeping in, taking over your friends, your children, maybe even you. You can feel it deep down can't you? The gayness taking over. Soon the world will be fully overtaken.
As I type, I can feel it taking hold of me too. I have an sudden urge to listen to Lady Gaga and kiss girls.
But there is nothing you can do to stop it. It's coming for you.

[Tara Spears · Rating 1 out of 5]

How about never? I will never read or recommend this book or any by this author.

[Chris · Rating 1 out of 5]

the book equivalent of rotting garbage

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent read for those who decide that embracing their Same Sex Attraction is not for them or does not satisfy. It is written in an easy to follow style, as if you are listening in to the counselling session going on between the counsellor and the client. The author also adds comments and reflections as you read along, and makes some very profound and clear statements that show the link between developmental issues in the father-son relationship, as well as trauma, abuse etc. For those who are not comfortable or happy just embracing SSA this book suggests reasons and provides a window towards a different, true healing. To those other reviewiers here, of which it seems many could not possibly have read this book, then please realise that many who find disatisfaction in a gay lifestyle, or do not wish to embrace their SSA, it is their choice if they do not wish to do so. Some of those other reviews are so hateful and completely ignorant of the contents of this book.

[Kevin Estabrook · Rating 5 out of 5]

These case studies are of immense value for 1) those struggling with SSA and their family and friends 2)counselors/therapists/ministers assisting those with SSA deal with ego/sexual identity issues 3) those seeking to understand reparative therapy

I would venture to say that those who rated this book “one-star” disagree with Dr Nicholosi’s fundamental assumption, that it is healthy to seek therapy to heal/cope with unwanted same-sex attraction. I wonder if “one-star” reviewers even read the book.

Nicholosi addresses why his approach is considered controversial. His deep compassion for his clients is matched by his scientific/psychological competence untainted by the homosexualist agenda.

[Josh · Rating 3 out of 5]

I disagree with most of Dr. Nicolosi's assumptions and methods, though I respect his courage in taking a politically unpopular stance. As a confessing Christian I think his work deserves significant attention and significant reinterpretation to be truly helpful to strugglers.

[Marlobo ♥ epilogues · Rating 1 out of 5]

Don't bother; nothing to be healed except bigotry & obscurantism.

[Crystal Melbourne · Rating 1 out of 5]

nope

[George · Rating 1 out of 5]

*proceeds to burn*

[Chris · Rating 1 out of 5]

pooooooooo

[Courtney · Rating 1 out of 5]

Joseph Nicolosi didn’t practice psychology, but rather pseudoscience.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_...

‘In 2013, Nicolosi appeared in Stephen Fry's television documentary Stephen Fry: Out There, which examined different attitudes to homosexuality. Nicolosi informed Fry that "sixty percent of our clients now are teenagers. Parents call up in a panic because they found out their son is looking at gay porn, and, of course we have to get him into therapy". After the segment, Fry says that "for all his talk of success, Nicolosi is unable to find one of his ex-gays to talk to us". Fry then speaks with Daniel Gonzales, a former client of Nicolosi's who did not have success in changing his sexual orientation. Gonzales condemns the therapy.’

‘Like all forms of conversion therapy, reparative therapy is pseudoscientific, based on faulty assumptions, opposed by mainstream medical and psychological practitioners, and potentially harmful to patients. Some states have enacted laws against conversion therapy.’

[World Citizen · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Case Stories of Reparative Therapy” is almost identical in content to “The Best of Joseph Nicolosi,” which is a more recent publication. The big difference? “Case Stories” is older than the former; it also reads a lot faster, since there’s a lot of dialogue in it.

This book features case stories of several men with various social backgrounds and histories with same-sex attractions (SSA) and homosexuality.

In the book, we get to see Dr. Nicolosi interact with his patients both individually and in groups. And we get to see the techniques of Reparative or Regenerative Therapy up front and close. It was great to see these men reconnect with their “lost manhood” as they interacted with Dr. Nicolosi.

As we discover the history and personality of these very special men, we learn that homosexuality is rooted in trauma wounds from early childhood. These trauma wounds can be traced back to a weak, passive father, a father who rarely if ever interacted with his son. Or the trauma wounds can result from an angry and distant father, who scared the boy away and never bonded with him.

What problems occur in a maturing boy’s life when he’s unable to bond with his father and male peers? One big problem is that he feels worthless inside and inferior to other boys. This is due to the relational abyss between him and his father. This leads the boy to idealize other males, whom he mistakenly believes possess traits he himself lacks, traits such as strength, confidence, and charisma. These are traits that should have been developed along with his father’s active participation and encouragement. But the father was absent or, if he was present, he was harsh and uninvolved in the boy’s life.

When the boy reaches the teenage years, these feelings of worthlessness and of idolizing other males – if they aren’t resolved in a healthy way - will become sexualized.

Hence, same sex attractions (SSA) and homosexuality.

Dr. Nicolosi’s clients repeatedly say their fathers were rarely if ever involved in their lives. These fathers failed to establish “The Three A’s” with their sons: attention, affection, and acceptance. As a result, the men were unable to develop a much-needed sense of “maleness” in their lives, something they learn from and discover by bonding with their fathers.

This failure to bond with the father and male peers can cause many problems later in life. Hence, "The Three A's" are essential to a developing boy's life, and they are hugely important in a man's life as he heals from SSA and homosexual behavior.

“The Three A’s” are attention, affection, and affirmation.

With attention, the man receives the much-needed male attention (and bonding) he lacked while he was young.

With affection, he enters healthy, affectionate, and non-sexual relationships with other men – from his father to other boys. This can involve sports, study groups, and outdoor activities. Dr. Nicolosi refers to these activities as “shared delights.”

With acceptance, after trust has been established between a boy, his father, and male peers, the boy feels a genuine sense of acceptance among them, something he’s rarely if ever experienced before in his life. The result? He’s “one of the boys” or “one of the guys,” and they’re no longer exotic to him but familiar. When men cease to be exotic and instead become familiar, they are no longer viewed in an erotic or sexualized way.

When the Three A’s are working together in harmony, the long-dormant sense of maleness will emerge in a man’s soul like a blazing sun, something in which he’ll delight increasingly as the Three A's become a regular part of his life.

With “The Three A’s” and other insights in his other published works, Dr. Nicolosi has provided a way out of the maze of early childhood trauma and shame. Over time, we see how a young or older man can heal his masculine soul (i.e., his male gender wounds) as every part of his being comes into proper focus – from his innate male gender identity to his heterosexuality, both of which had been buried under the rubble and ruins of early childhood trauma and shame.

As Dr. Nicolosi notes here and elsewhere, the more motivated a person is and the more religious he is, the greater his chances are of healing those deep early childhood traumas.

As noted earlier, these traumas include negative experiences with the father as well as childhood peers, which caused a gender wound to develop in the boy, a wound that gave birth to same-sex attractions. Feeling this deep male deficiency within himself, the young male then begins to long for his “lost masculinity” as he tries to reconnect with it. How? Not through healthy, nonsexual relationships with other males, but through sexual intercourse with them. As he’ll eventually find out, he can never heal his male soul or be fulfilled in a meaningful way by having sex with other males. That’s because humans weren’t made this way.

In this book, Dr. Nicolosi offers us a fascinating viewpoint, and there’s a lot of clinical data to support it. This is well documented in Dr. Nicolosi’s books and scholarly articles.

For more about Reparative or Regenerative Therapy as a method of treatment for male homosexuality, I highly recommend “Case Stories” as well as “The Best of Joseph Nicolosi.” You can’t go wrong with either one.

It may also be interesting to note that the author of this review is a huge benefactor of Reparative or Regenerative Therapy. Watching Dr. Nicolosi’s techniques at work in my life has been like watching Mt. Everest crumble into the sea.

I can count the most important men in my life on one hand, and Dr. Joseph Nicolosi is one of them.

Highly Recommended

[José Armando Leyva Martínez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excelente libro!! Bastante clarificador sobre cómo el proceso de la terapia reparativa puede ayudar a cambiar la vida de quienes quieren entender el origen de la homosexualidad y cómo integrarlo armónica y saludablemente en su vida.

[Elena · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm seriously just going to buy all of these "healing homosexuality" books and use them as kindling on my next camping trip.

[Fatih Disli · Rating 5 out of 5]

508
/
This book is an excellent book, despite the leftist and repressive people. In my country, anyone who says bad words about this book is considered mentally ill. It is worrying that homosexuality is normalized even though it is considered unhealthy by science and even more unhealthy than sexual orientations like pedophilia, incest etc. That is why people who write such books are hated because they want to fix society. LGBT is a disease. There are many people who have recovered from this disease.

People who want to change trying to be destroted by fake science.





Çabucak çevir

[Tokyo D · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read most of Nicolosi's books and I know that this book is fabulous. It threatens a lot of people's world views but this author's ideas really do apply to some MEN who have same sex attraction.... certainly in my case. It is bizarre to see so many women commenting on this book since these books have nothing to do with female sexuality. Posting inaccurate entries when you haven't read the book doesn't actually help anyone.

[Pierce Samuel ✞︎ (My Girlfriend's Ver.) · Rating 1 out of 5]

Healing is defined by the Cambridge Dictionary as "the process in which a bad situation or painful emotion ends or improves: Healing only begins when the hurt is shared with someone." --- It sure as heck is a bad situation when you like multiple genders and STILL can't pull, I'm glad this book's objective is to teach queer people how to find a loving partner, definitely not promoting undoing biology.

[sʜʏ★彡(ɢᴄsᴇ ʟɪᴛ ᴇʀᴀ){ɪᴍ sᴏ ᴡʀᴏɴɢ ғᴏʀ ᴡᴀɴᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ} · Rating 1 out of 5]

how can you unpublish a book?
Joseph Nicolosi, you sound like the type of fella who would cannibalise your own son for being gay. if you actually do that i hope your son transfers the homosexuality to you and you get a raging boner every time a man is in 0.000001cm of you 😘

[Daniel Vidal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Un libro experiencial y explicativo. Comprendo los malos comentarios, sin embargo las pruebas y argumentos que aporta Nicolosi son fuertes y convincentes. Creo que el mejor capítulo es el último, al que necesariamente se requiere llegar desde el contexto de los anteriores.

[☆ Dylan [Joey Jordison's vers.] ☆ · Rating 1 out of 5]

imagine being this much of a loser.

[Foenix · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very insightful.