Do Not Call...Or Else: Adventures With Telemarketers by Ryne Douglas Pearson

by Ryne Douglas Pearson

A hilarious collection of exchanges between telemarketers and the author, who decided to stop hanging up on unwanted calls and start having fun. Entertain yourself as you experience Origami Cheese Wheels, Belok The Star Warrior, The Drainage, and many more transcriptions of actual interactions. How many times will an overseas call center call back to offer 'medical compensation' after the author tells them he has tumors on his wings? How far past blatantly absurd can the author push it before telemarketers hang up? And what did a family of raccoons do to the author's imaginary dog in one twisted exchange? Grab yourself a drink and prepare to spit it out laughing as you experience Price Check On Blood, Super Power One Twenty, Potato Salad Therapy, and dozens more.

Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 2013

About the author

Ryne Douglas Pearson is an accomplished novelist and screenwriter. He is the author of several novels, including Cloudburst, October's Ghost, Capitol Punishment, Simple Simon, Top Ten, The Donzerly Light, All For One, Confessions, and Cop Killer. He is also the author of the short story collection, Dark and Darker. His novel Simple Simon was made into the film Mercury Rising. As a screenwriter he has worked on numerous movies. The film Knowing, based on his original script, was released in 2009 and opened #1 at the box office. Receiving Four Stars from Roger Ebert, who branded it ‘among the best science-fiction films I’ve seen’, it went on to earn more than $180 million worldwide. He has also done uncredited work on films such as the remakes of The Day The Earth Stood Still and The Eye.

Despite the often ‘dark’ nature of his novels and films, Pearson has been noted to have a ‘sweet, disarming quality’ by Entertainment Weekly–an accusation he has been unable to shake. When not writing he is usually thinking about writing, or touting the wonders of bacon in online conversations. He is addicted to diet soda and the sound of his children laughing. A west coast native, he lives in California with his wife, children, a Doberman Kelpie and a Beagle Vizsla.

Reviews

[Larry Enright · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the kind of book that you should take to a party or bring the next time you get together with friends. The zany vignettes are best read aloud. Laugh along with your friends as you take turns "performing" these little skits. A good time is guaranteed. The book is a quick read, very enjoyable, and I highly recommend it.