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Finding Peace #1
Beginning Again
David McCourt knows pain and loss. Transferring to Capstone Ridge University fulfills a longtime goal and David hopes to leave his past behind. He wants a chance to start over with a clean slate, a new life, and zero complications.
Everyone likes Bobby Daniels and he likes helping people. After seeing the hurt David carries around, Bobby decides to help his awkward roommate come out of his shell--with the help of some friends and a nutty professor.
Jackson Black is attracted to guys, but buries it deep, thinking he'll find the right women and fix the problem. Until the intense stare of David McCourt completely undoes him.
David has his hands full trying to figure life out. When he gets hurt, friends and lovers surround him, trying to help close the wounds.
But it may not be enough.
Everyone likes Bobby Daniels and he likes helping people. After seeing the hurt David carries around, Bobby decides to help his awkward roommate come out of his shell--with the help of some friends and a nutty professor.
Jackson Black is attracted to guys, but buries it deep, thinking he'll find the right women and fix the problem. Until the intense stare of David McCourt completely undoes him.
David has his hands full trying to figure life out. When he gets hurt, friends and lovers surround him, trying to help close the wounds.
But it may not be enough.
427 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 25, 2012
4 people are currently reading
206 people want to read
About the author
Freddy MacKay
43 books62 followersFreddy grew up in the Midwest, playing sports and running around outside. And honestly, that much has not changed since Freddy was small and throwing worms at other kids, expect worm throwing has been replaced with a healthy geocaching addiction. Freddy enjoys traveling and holds the view a person should continually to learn about new things and people whenever possible.
Freddy's contemporary LGBTQ book, Incubation: Finding Peace 2, won 3rd Place - Best Gay Erotic Fiction in the 2012 Rainbow Awards. In 2013, Freddy's story, Internment, tied for 3rd Place - Best Gay Fantasy in the Rainbow Awards. Freddy's steampunk/SF story, Feel Me, was a finalist and honorable mention in the 2014 Rainbow Awards for SF.
Freddy's contemporary LGBTQ book, Incubation: Finding Peace 2, won 3rd Place - Best Gay Erotic Fiction in the 2012 Rainbow Awards. In 2013, Freddy's story, Internment, tied for 3rd Place - Best Gay Fantasy in the Rainbow Awards. Freddy's steampunk/SF story, Feel Me, was a finalist and honorable mention in the 2014 Rainbow Awards for SF.
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
July 24, 2016
A horrific story that affects your mental way of thinking, bursts your emotions and mind. They are many moments in the beginning that had me laughing and in stitches, but they changes and you soon find out why along the way in reading this book. I enjoyed this book a lot, but some scenes are not for those who have and had issues with rape and battery.
But dayum I'm gonna say that I'm left unable to wait for the next book that will follow this one. My morbid brain enjoyed it.
But dayum I'm gonna say that I'm left unable to wait for the next book that will follow this one. My morbid brain enjoyed it.
March 23, 2012
The cover and the blurb were enough to make me go into this read with a sense of dread. When we meet David we know he's scarred, he's had a traumatic past, and he's suffered through loss. The first 80% of this book or so wasn't as angsty I was prepared for. The author spent a good amount of the book gradually building David back up. David slowly opens himself up to a circle of caring friends, to the possibility of truly moving on, becoming intimate again, to wanting more. It is mostly beautiful, sometimes confusing (through David's eyes), to see. It makes it even more heartbreaking when it all comes crashing down again. I was affected very deeply and was an honest wreck.
It is "To Be Continued". Tons of questions are left unanswered, everything is left wide open. This could've been at least a 4 star read for me EASY. Brought it down because That aside, I'm still very much interested in David and company and the continuation of their story.
It is "To Be Continued". Tons of questions are left unanswered, everything is left wide open. This could've been at least a 4 star read for me EASY. Brought it down because That aside, I'm still very much interested in David and company and the continuation of their story.
April 5, 2012
Most people who know me would agree that I'm a little odd, and to that end, if a book manages to make me cry, I consider it a great book! And this book made me cry in a big way!
This is first in a series and if you enjoyed JP Barnaby's Little Boy Lost series, I think you will enjoy this book with the similar themes of dealing with prejudice, being true to yourself, overcoming abuse and bullying,learning to trust people and letting them in to your life and your heart.
The setting is a conservative college, David is the main character, he's gay, just out of his only relationship and has had a rough life of loss, rejection and abuse, with the physical and emotional scars to back it up. All the details of his background are not revealed, but I don't know as that is necessary, and I believe that is part of what draws you to him. He does not want to draw attention to himself, but early on, at a typical college party, his reluctance to follow along with everyone else with drinking unwittingly makes him the centre of attention. There is the protective attention of his roommate and future friend, Bobby along with his buddies Chris and Austin as well as that of a campus bully and his crowd.
David just wants to do his work and hopefully start his life again after recent losses, to make more of himself because of those he loved and lost. He works in a biochem lab and without intending to, becomes friends with the TA, Jon and his professor, who wants to keep an eye on him anyway. That would be Professor Jun Ito, who was a character in Freddy's blog story "Days Gone By", set in 1980 when Jun and his friends were going to the same college. David bears a striking resemblance to one of those friends, who has not been seen or heard from since an attack several years earlier, and in some ways, Jun wants to be there for David he way he feels he was not there for Abby.
For most of the book, it is about David learning to let people in again, there are two more complicated relationships that come up, with the characters of Jackson and Eddie, not to mention a brief appearance by David's ex.
All of these relationships are put to the test when David is attacked - and while you can put together what took place, the attack itself is not described in graphic detail, it was done as tastefully as it could be while still getting across how serious it was, which I think shows amazing talent of the author to keep you reading while your heart is breaking for this young man who is so hurt he wants to give up, but he has done nothing to deserve what took place.
He expects his friends to reject him when they realize what it means, his friends are afraid he will reject them, and while not everything is resolved, steps are made for all of them towards healing & supporting one another through that process because although David bore the physical brunt of the attack, his friends share the emotional and mental force for how they found him and for the fact it happened at all!
I won't say this is an easy read because of that, however, it is suggested in the synopsis of the book about an attack and scenes with similar elements happened in "Abandoned" by JP Barnaby and "The Decisions we Make" by RJ Scott, and this event is not the main part of this book anymore than it is those two books.
I felt the relationships were the most important part of the story, you get the feeling there were very few David could depend on when he was younger, but all he faces in this book leaves him with a circle of friends who want to be there for him, no matter what.
Which is why I look forward to the rest of the series and what will be revealed and discovered in those.
This is first in a series and if you enjoyed JP Barnaby's Little Boy Lost series, I think you will enjoy this book with the similar themes of dealing with prejudice, being true to yourself, overcoming abuse and bullying,learning to trust people and letting them in to your life and your heart.
The setting is a conservative college, David is the main character, he's gay, just out of his only relationship and has had a rough life of loss, rejection and abuse, with the physical and emotional scars to back it up. All the details of his background are not revealed, but I don't know as that is necessary, and I believe that is part of what draws you to him. He does not want to draw attention to himself, but early on, at a typical college party, his reluctance to follow along with everyone else with drinking unwittingly makes him the centre of attention. There is the protective attention of his roommate and future friend, Bobby along with his buddies Chris and Austin as well as that of a campus bully and his crowd.
David just wants to do his work and hopefully start his life again after recent losses, to make more of himself because of those he loved and lost. He works in a biochem lab and without intending to, becomes friends with the TA, Jon and his professor, who wants to keep an eye on him anyway. That would be Professor Jun Ito, who was a character in Freddy's blog story "Days Gone By", set in 1980 when Jun and his friends were going to the same college. David bears a striking resemblance to one of those friends, who has not been seen or heard from since an attack several years earlier, and in some ways, Jun wants to be there for David he way he feels he was not there for Abby.
For most of the book, it is about David learning to let people in again, there are two more complicated relationships that come up, with the characters of Jackson and Eddie, not to mention a brief appearance by David's ex.
All of these relationships are put to the test when David is attacked - and while you can put together what took place, the attack itself is not described in graphic detail, it was done as tastefully as it could be while still getting across how serious it was, which I think shows amazing talent of the author to keep you reading while your heart is breaking for this young man who is so hurt he wants to give up, but he has done nothing to deserve what took place.
He expects his friends to reject him when they realize what it means, his friends are afraid he will reject them, and while not everything is resolved, steps are made for all of them towards healing & supporting one another through that process because although David bore the physical brunt of the attack, his friends share the emotional and mental force for how they found him and for the fact it happened at all!
I won't say this is an easy read because of that, however, it is suggested in the synopsis of the book about an attack and scenes with similar elements happened in "Abandoned" by JP Barnaby and "The Decisions we Make" by RJ Scott, and this event is not the main part of this book anymore than it is those two books.
I felt the relationships were the most important part of the story, you get the feeling there were very few David could depend on when he was younger, but all he faces in this book leaves him with a circle of friends who want to be there for him, no matter what.
Which is why I look forward to the rest of the series and what will be revealed and discovered in those.
March 18, 2012
To read my Review please go to:
http://heartsonfirereviews.com/
http://heartsonfirereviews.com/
July 22, 2012
This book started off slow but quickly pulled me in. Because of that fact, I finished it in less than 2 days. Within that time, I went through a gambit of emotions. Sadness and anger on behalf of the main character David are the two emotions that stands out the most. Now I don't know what I feel. I'm upset about David's mistreatment throughout his life, I want the next book, and I'm upset that this series will continue to plague us with cliffhangers. Not sure If I should just wait until the end of the series to continue.
August 18, 2012
Yes! I loved this book
Even with the length, I didn't feel like it was dragging on. I just wanted it to keep going. Can't wait to read the second book.
Most of the book is David working on opening up, to trust people. He doesn't go out much. But when he does start to open up, first with Bobby, then the other's. I loved the friend ship between all the boys. I like how they all wanted to take care of David. But they did baby him to much, after all he is a grown man.
It was a beautiful book. Recommend!
Even with the length, I didn't feel like it was dragging on. I just wanted it to keep going. Can't wait to read the second book.
Most of the book is David working on opening up, to trust people. He doesn't go out much. But when he does start to open up, first with Bobby, then the other's. I loved the friend ship between all the boys. I like how they all wanted to take care of David. But they did baby him to much, after all he is a grown man.
It was a beautiful book. Recommend!
December 29, 2012
I was ultimately disappointed by this, as I'd expected far more from its high rating and rave reviews.
I dunno - it just didn't work for me. I found the characters didn't grab me, and I became irritated by my lack of connection. I did manage to finish it, but couldn't be bothered to see more of them, so won't be buying sequels.
I dunno - it just didn't work for me. I found the characters didn't grab me, and I became irritated by my lack of connection. I did manage to finish it, but couldn't be bothered to see more of them, so won't be buying sequels.
June 13, 2012
Recommended read. Make sure tissues are handy.
March 24, 2017
I must be one of the odd out because there's so many 4 and 5 star and I can't say that it was that great. I like the concept of the story. Abuse stories are always hard in some way and evoke strong emotions towards character attachments. David is 26, but is rooming with 3 18 year old kids. He's been in a serious relationship and even fathered a child. He's the product of severe abuse to boot. What I didn't like is that he's supposed to be 26 with a kid, but behaves more like a 12-16yr old abuse victim. Not knocking how his character got to that point, but the timeline kinda screwed up how long his accident had been to where he is now and I still think he should be more than a beaten puppy by now.
How he reacts in the beginning is fine, but once he starts opening up it's like he's gone from one extreme to another without any of it really being believable. It reads like every male character has fallen in love with David instead of loving him. I feel like he's surrounded by an off target reverse (male) harem of sorts. I finished it, because there's a lot of plot holes and unanswered questions, although that's usually a deal breaker. It was decent enough that I wanted to continue to book 2.
How he reacts in the beginning is fine, but once he starts opening up it's like he's gone from one extreme to another without any of it really being believable. It reads like every male character has fallen in love with David instead of loving him. I feel like he's surrounded by an off target reverse (male) harem of sorts. I finished it, because there's a lot of plot holes and unanswered questions, although that's usually a deal breaker. It was decent enough that I wanted to continue to book 2.
March 14, 2012
Intense, heartbreaking story about a man who has survived abuse and lost his family. He goes to college to "begin again," and living in the dorms and working in the labs bring him friendships despite his reluctance to get involved with other people again. He also secretly reaches out to two men who could become lovers. Then a horrifying assault threatens everything.
This is obviously the first in a series--a lot of plot threads are unresolved, but the book wasn't so short I felt ripped off. This would have been 4 stars but for the fact that it seems relatively unedited (some phrasing habits of the author's need to be dealt with, seriously). I like stories where the author is unafraid to torture the characters, and this protagonist has some really awful things happen to him, so the angst level here is dialed up to high.
For those who care about such things (I don't), the sex is pretty graphic; there are m/f scenes (one love interest is bisexual) and a very brief m/f/f menage scene in addition to the requisite m/m. There is also a violent (but nongraphic) rape. This doesn't really seem to be a romance at this point in the story arc, but it's a very interesting and compelling story overall. I'm hoping the prologue/epilogue story is going to become important or relevant in the next installment because it doesn't really add much to the tale so far.
NB: I also incidentally discovered that when you click "read ebook" on goodreads, you don't get this whole book. You get the first few chapters, which sucks you in and then you find yourself buying the book because by then you are HOOKED...
This is obviously the first in a series--a lot of plot threads are unresolved, but the book wasn't so short I felt ripped off. This would have been 4 stars but for the fact that it seems relatively unedited (some phrasing habits of the author's need to be dealt with, seriously). I like stories where the author is unafraid to torture the characters, and this protagonist has some really awful things happen to him, so the angst level here is dialed up to high.
For those who care about such things (I don't), the sex is pretty graphic; there are m/f scenes (one love interest is bisexual) and a very brief m/f/f menage scene in addition to the requisite m/m. There is also a violent (but nongraphic) rape. This doesn't really seem to be a romance at this point in the story arc, but it's a very interesting and compelling story overall. I'm hoping the prologue/epilogue story is going to become important or relevant in the next installment because it doesn't really add much to the tale so far.
NB: I also incidentally discovered that when you click "read ebook" on goodreads, you don't get this whole book. You get the first few chapters, which sucks you in and then you find yourself buying the book because by then you are HOOKED...
March 23, 2015
i like it but some of the characters anoyed me.
July 15, 2016
I have so many feelings about this story. It was heart-breaking, but hopeful. A little sexy, but sad. There were times that I laughed and then I was crying.
David has been through hell. He is trying to start over at 27 at a new college. His roommate, Bobby, thinks he is shy and needs a little help coming out of his shell. Just when things seem to be going his way, tragedy strikes David again, plunging back into hell.
Even with all the darkness, I can't wait to read more of David's story. It ends on a cliffhanger, so I have to know what happens next. What happens with Eddie and Jackson? How does he handle being back with his roommates after everything that happened? What is Ito's story? I need to know!!!
David has been through hell. He is trying to start over at 27 at a new college. His roommate, Bobby, thinks he is shy and needs a little help coming out of his shell. Just when things seem to be going his way, tragedy strikes David again, plunging back into hell.
Even with all the darkness, I can't wait to read more of David's story. It ends on a cliffhanger, so I have to know what happens next. What happens with Eddie and Jackson? How does he handle being back with his roommates after everything that happened? What is Ito's story? I need to know!!!
March 21, 2016
VERY SLOW MOVING PLOT!!!!!
about half way through I realized that I had read this once before. and since insomnia struck I finished reading it a second time. I can honestly say I have no trouble never reading this writer even again. must have blocked the first time.... god awful slow moving in the first part of the book, the Jackson/David one off disturbed me, Eddie I somewhat liked nut the helping hand not do much.... David the suffering twink? David the greiving father? David the scarred one he read much younger than his 26 yrs for me. I know I read the rest in the series but can't/don't want to dredge up the feels. triggers: gang rape, mutilation, abuse of child by father, didn't care for this the 2nd time around.
about half way through I realized that I had read this once before. and since insomnia struck I finished reading it a second time. I can honestly say I have no trouble never reading this writer even again. must have blocked the first time.... god awful slow moving in the first part of the book, the Jackson/David one off disturbed me, Eddie I somewhat liked nut the helping hand not do much.... David the suffering twink? David the greiving father? David the scarred one he read much younger than his 26 yrs for me. I know I read the rest in the series but can't/don't want to dredge up the feels. triggers: gang rape, mutilation, abuse of child by father, didn't care for this the 2nd time around.
January 24, 2013
David was so lovable, everything he went through just broke my heart. I was glad to see him open up and get new friends and learn to accept that people could care for him no matter his history. I really wanted Chris and Jackson to open up a can of whipass on Mike. Hopefully he and his cronies will get everything they deserve and more.
I look forward to reading the next.
I look forward to reading the next.
March 23, 2013
There were quite a few editing mistakes or oversights in the book but they were easy to ignore. I was getting about 3/4 of the way through wondering what everyone was saying was so traumatic and then WHAM! So terrible!
I read this in one day because it kept me glued to the story. Up too late and blubbering at the end. Good story :-)
I read this in one day because it kept me glued to the story. Up too late and blubbering at the end. Good story :-)
dnf
May 22, 2013I don't know what's going on but there's a real annoying lack of connection. I just don't care about any of the characters, despite the fact I obviously should, and there's something a bit scattered about the story.
September 10, 2014
A must-read if you like stories about people who have suffered and are trying to put their lives back together, this story has it all: good characters, realism, and a writing style that makes a novel seem like a short story.
March 7, 2012
This was a little too much for me. I'm sorry. I liked the author's voice but it's just not for me.
February 26, 2012
Review to follow
March 9, 2012
There is so much to say but no words. All emotions play out in this book. It also leaves you with so many questions. I cannot wait for the next one to come out in May.
July 16, 2014
Привычный m/m романчик...
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews