Kidnapped by horny, ape-like creatures in Mt. Hood National Forest, Porsche, Shelly, and Leslie find themselves in a lusty situation, as a tribe of Bigfoots use their willing, nubile bodies to satisfy their monster cocks.
This story contains oral sex, anal sex, double penetration, rimming, spanking, penetration with a large object, threesomes, and an orgy. All characters are eighteen and above. Adult 18+
i never thought i would be writing this drunken book review. but, you see, i was summoned to an after-work gathering with my former boss and some colleagues, and... well, there was tequila. and salted rims. and i had my borrowed nook, and things just got a little out of control.
i didn't want to read my precious megan abbott book in this condition.
i didn't mean to read another bigfoot porn.
but you know how it is... when the first one ended on such a cliffhanger , well... a girl's gotta know. right? you remember eve? with the curiosity? and pandora? lot's wife? me reading my ex's journal as a teen?
sometimes we just gotta know.
and now i do. but guess what?? another cliffhanger! so you know i am going to be reading numbers 3,4, and 5. when will this crazy merry-go-round stop spinning?? oh, that's just my head.
so, anyway, bigfoot porn.
it's what you would expect, if you expect bigfoot porn to be about the desire of a young girl for a bit of strange, all giving in to her animalistic urges but putting up a struggle so she can patty-hearst her way out of it afterward.
there is a lot more snuggling than there should be in a true kidnapping scenario. IMHO.
and i get it - it is hard to resist an articulate man, even when the definition must be stretched ...
some of bigfoot's (leonard's) bon mots:
good, sex girls...nice...
good, blonde, good!
grrrooooaaarrr...
good pussy. good.
grrroooooaaaarrrrr! good ass! good!
and for variety:
nice ass. nice.
how can a girl hold out against such poetry?
there is a lot of no-no-yes going on here:
he's forcing me...i have no choice. i'm only sleeping with him to survive. i don't like him...i...hate everything he does to me. he's an animal...he's a monster...ooohhh...don't ...stop...
it is a very complicated scenario. and with the cliffhanger - who knows what will happen next? do i dare pull back the curtain and discover the answers? will i require much much more tequila to find this sexy?
i admire the skill here, in being able to write genuinely hanging cliffhangers in what should really be just throwaway erotica. but what else would you expect from the acclaimed author of pride and penetration,maya's tight pussy, and stacy's gangbang wedding????["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>
Things I Learned About Bigfoot ...and the women they love
(aka, What Happens When Sasquatch Kidnaps Nubile Young Women To Be Personal Breeding Love Slaves)
by Penny Watson
1. Bigfoot is very possessive of "his woman"..."He tossed me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and hauled me into the forest."
2. He can talk. "Good. Soooooooo good." (I didn't say he could talk like a Harvard professor. I just said he could talk).
3. Sasquatch dudes have regular names like Leonard, Dale, and of course their leader, Bubba.
4. Girls who are abducted by Bigfoot to be their breeding love slaves are concerned about cleanliness and personal hygiene. "I wore the same underwear and shorts I had on for days. They needed to be washed." Um, seriously, I think that's the least of your worries, girlfriend.
5. Bigfoot's diet consists mainly of beef jerky. And carrots.
6. Girls abducted by Bigfoot are generally not that bright. "Maybe being kidnapped by horny apes had messed with my head." Maybe. Maybe it did.
7. Bigfoot's language also includes grunts and this word..."Grrrrrrrrroooooooaaaaaaaarrrrrrr." According to my English-Bigfoot Dictionary, that means "Party Time, Ladies!"
8. Being abducted by Bigfoot tends to elicit sarcastic responses from horny young women. "We're f*cked seven ways to Sunday."
9. Also, Bigfoot likes to smoke pot. (Probably to relax at the end of the day. It's probably pretty stressful being Bigfoot, I would imagine).
10. When the young sex slaves are not servicing the hairy beasts, they are forced to weave cloth on a loom. In a cave. (I swear. I'm not making this shizz up). This is best summed up by this quote: "Weavers by day, cocksuckers by night."
11. When Bigfoot gets mad at his girl, she might get a spanking.
12. Bigfoot clans travel around the forest in carts, and have goats. I'm not sure if the goats are pets or a food source.
13. The captives waver between wanting to escape--"I'm only 18! I'm too young to get knocked up with some Planet of the Apes baby!"--to wanting Bigfoot as a boyfriend--"I'd done the unspeakable. I'd fallen in love with my ape." I guess this is sort of a Stockholm syndrome situation going on.
14. Bigfoot has a 12 inch penis.
15. Bigfoot likes to serve his captive hot tea. It's so civilized!
16. The captives figure out why Sasquatch is so horny. "I guess this is what happens when there's no TV."
17. Bigfoot is no different than human men. He likes watching a rousing lesbian sex scene.
18. Bigfoot is a family guy. He dreams of a cave, a woman, and some furry offspring.
19. Never say Bigfoot doesn't know how to romance his captive. Bigfoot enjoys hot tub parties. (Improvisation with a hot spring).
20. The girls are concerned about the hot tub party. "Maybe this was some sort of Bigfoot brainwashing technique?" They were right. It was.
In conclusion, Bigfoot appears to be a big, hairy, horny, family-oriented beast who dines mostly on beef jerky, enjoys hot tub parties, and has a rudimentary grasp of English.
Citations:
CUM 4 BIGFOOT 2 by Virginia Wade CUM 4 BIGFOOT 3 by Virginia Wade
The saga continues as Shelly, Leslie and Porsche continue to entertain their horny Bigfoots, Leonard, Dale and Bubba. We find that there are many Bigfoots and they all work well together to achieve orgasm.
Can you say bigfoot orgy? Yes, just when the girls thought they could only handle one horny rascal, they learn that they can take on multiple Bigfoots at a time. To music, Hahahahahahahaha, these Bigfoots are drum beaters too.
Bigfoots also work to protect their existence. This includes violence when threatened with exposure. This book was more erotic than Cum for Bigfoot since the girls were active willing participants with their "dirty apes" as they so affectionately referred to them as.
Okay, the second book is slightly worse than the first one. And I will probably need a year to recover and maybe continue this highly educational series.
Escape foiled.. someone dies.. Thank God!!.. Porsche and Leonard meet up with Shelly and her Ape Dale, then with Leslie and her Ape Bubba. The girls meet Zelda, another of the kidnapees who has been accepted into the tribe and lives as a breeder.
Porsche seems to be growing to like and dare we say love Leonard, Example, "I felt torn when I thought about leaving, but I had to get home."
These Apes get pretty pissed when a search party finds the girls and is ready to take them home.. and after the confrontation... can Porsche stay with Leonard?