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Trevan Bean has a job that’s going from illegal to frightening, a boyfriend who may not be in his right mind, and a guardian angel who might actually be evil incarnate. Add to that the reappearance of his boyfriend’s estranged family, death threats, kidnapping, and the struggle of saving money to realize a dream, and Trevan has a lot on his plate. But Trevan is up to the challenge: he promised Landry a happily ever after, and Landry’s going to have it if it kills him!
It just might.
Landry Carter was a broken doll when they met two years ago but has grown into a partner who can stand at Trevan’s side… most of the time. Now that Trevan’s life just got scary—and Landry just got himself kidnapped—Trevan has to hope Landry’s love stays strong through this newest challenge, because the happily ever after won’t happen if Trevan has to go it alone.
It just might.
Landry Carter was a broken doll when they met two years ago but has grown into a partner who can stand at Trevan’s side… most of the time. Now that Trevan’s life just got scary—and Landry just got himself kidnapped—Trevan has to hope Landry’s love stays strong through this newest challenge, because the happily ever after won’t happen if Trevan has to go it alone.
220 pages, Paperback
First published March 4, 2012
138 people are currently reading
2693 people want to read
About the author
Mary Calmes
125 books5,016 followersMary Calmes believes in romance, happily ever afters, and the faith it takes for her characters to get there. She bleeds coffee, thinks chocolate should be its own food group, and currently lives in Kentucky with a six-pound furry ninja that protects her from baby birds, spiders and the neighbor’s dogs. To stay up to date on her ponderings and pandemonium (as well as the adventures of the ninja) follow her on Twitter @MaryCalmes, connect with her on Facebook, and subscribe to her Mary’s Mob newsletter.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 445 reviews
August 9, 2018
Author of the Month and… official MC cherry popping.
How do I rate this thing? Is there like a Calmesian scale?
If I were to rate this on the level of cray cray, there aren't enough hearts. Valentine's Day is mere child's play comparatively.
If I were to rate the soap operaesqueness, it would be somewhere in the 4 heart range. Days of Our Lives didn't have this level of batshityness and that show was choc-a-block with nutjobs. Every one of these characters ain't right. Every one! If I were to rate my enjoyment… uh, I'm kind of scared of Calmes Nation coming after me with pitchforks and maces, but, yeah, I enjoyed it. For a soap opera. So, actual rating… uh, what is ∞ x 4 x 2? Meh, math was never my strong suit, so I'll go with 3 hearts and call it a day.
Mine is like that highway accident that everyone slows down to look at while you're cursing them for holding you up but when you get to it you look too. I looked. I knew the MCs were whackadoodles going in but I had NO idea the level of whackadoodledom. I'm not saying they should be committed but it wouldn't be the worst call anyone ever made. Landry holds a switchblade while jacking off over his sleeping lover in a fugue state about to carve his initials on him so everyone would "know" that he's his? Uh… Because he was dancing with a girl at a party earlier. Did he think that dance was going to un-gay him? And his nutjob boyfriend was all, 'hey, babe. You awake?'
RUN FORREST RUN!!!!!!!
Nope. They bang and all is well. Then again, Trev's bestie is a contract killer who randomly breaks into his apartment to watch him sleep because it "soothes" him, so I'm guessing he's desensitized to the cuckoo. I actually began to wonder if this was some elaborate AU somewhere in the middle because Trev seems to have some sort of spellbinding power over all the people. All the people of zooville, but still he's their golden child. How does he always know what to say to everyone that either engenders everlasting devotion, inexplicable trust, life altering insightfulness or fuck me eyes. I secretly still believe he's a wizard or is the PC term warlock? I tell ya, for a dude who's supposedly not that attractive everyone is gagging to get in his pants. It's the golden, right?
I'm getting off track here. So, I knew the MCs were freak shows, but the entire supporting cast too? There's infidelity, awkward family dynamics, an illegitimate son, an apparently requisite kidnapping and the contract killer. Now, I hate to sound all creepy and whatnot, but a contract killer who's a platinum member at Hertz sounds like a sucky ass contract killer to me. What kind of contract killer uses the same name every time? Bad call, contract killer. Bad call. If I'm being honest, the whole Vegas experience was a win for me. The fracas on the roof when Daria told Will to go fall on another dick? Priceless. Then Trev had to go being all irresistible again and started dancing with the ladies just asking for trouble like a rebel!
Did he now?
Yeah, he did. Because freak show x codependent/∞ = Landry. Angry sex, desperate sex, mildly kinky sex, borderline exhibitionist sex, you name it. Yet, surprisingly there was very little sex on the page. In my humble opinion, it could've used more sex *mumbles side mouth* and less plot. I know, I know. Then it wouldn't have been a true "Calmes" esssssperrience.
The writing… what's with all the short declarative sentences that are essentially redundant not to mention repetitive? Also, what's with the dialogue? Who said what is too bourgeois for The Calmes?
BUT, before the butthurt morphs into stabby, I did laugh. I made a butt load of weird faces. I face palmed a few times. I wish I had known about that drinking game, though. I would've saved it for a weekend and had a big time. Like a box of wine big time.
I don't need to recommend this to anyone. Everyone's read it already!
How do I rate this thing? Is there like a Calmesian scale?
If I were to rate this on the level of cray cray, there aren't enough hearts. Valentine's Day is mere child's play comparatively.
If I were to rate the soap operaesqueness, it would be somewhere in the 4 heart range. Days of Our Lives didn't have this level of batshityness and that show was choc-a-block with nutjobs. Every one of these characters ain't right. Every one! If I were to rate my enjoyment… uh, I'm kind of scared of Calmes Nation coming after me with pitchforks and maces, but, yeah, I enjoyed it. For a soap opera. So, actual rating… uh, what is ∞ x 4 x 2? Meh, math was never my strong suit, so I'll go with 3 hearts and call it a day.
"You will never get away from me, you should resign yourself to that now."
"Lan-"
"I'll kill you and then myself, that's a promise."
Mine is like that highway accident that everyone slows down to look at while you're cursing them for holding you up but when you get to it you look too. I looked. I knew the MCs were whackadoodles going in but I had NO idea the level of whackadoodledom. I'm not saying they should be committed but it wouldn't be the worst call anyone ever made. Landry holds a switchblade while jacking off over his sleeping lover in a fugue state about to carve his initials on him so everyone would "know" that he's his? Uh… Because he was dancing with a girl at a party earlier. Did he think that dance was going to un-gay him? And his nutjob boyfriend was all, 'hey, babe. You awake?'
RUN FORREST RUN!!!!!!!
Nope. They bang and all is well. Then again, Trev's bestie is a contract killer who randomly breaks into his apartment to watch him sleep because it "soothes" him, so I'm guessing he's desensitized to the cuckoo. I actually began to wonder if this was some elaborate AU somewhere in the middle because Trev seems to have some sort of spellbinding power over all the people. All the people of zooville, but still he's their golden child. How does he always know what to say to everyone that either engenders everlasting devotion, inexplicable trust, life altering insightfulness or fuck me eyes. I secretly still believe he's a wizard or is the PC term warlock? I tell ya, for a dude who's supposedly not that attractive everyone is gagging to get in his pants. It's the golden, right?
I'm getting off track here. So, I knew the MCs were freak shows, but the entire supporting cast too? There's infidelity, awkward family dynamics, an illegitimate son, an apparently requisite kidnapping and the contract killer. Now, I hate to sound all creepy and whatnot, but a contract killer who's a platinum member at Hertz sounds like a sucky ass contract killer to me. What kind of contract killer uses the same name every time? Bad call, contract killer. Bad call. If I'm being honest, the whole Vegas experience was a win for me. The fracas on the roof when Daria told Will to go fall on another dick? Priceless. Then Trev had to go being all irresistible again and started dancing with the ladies just asking for trouble like a rebel!
Between the panting and gasping and crying, I understood that I needed to fill him up, he wanted it to leak out of him for hours.
Did he now?
Yeah, he did. Because freak show x codependent/∞ = Landry. Angry sex, desperate sex, mildly kinky sex, borderline exhibitionist sex, you name it. Yet, surprisingly there was very little sex on the page. In my humble opinion, it could've used more sex *mumbles side mouth* and less plot. I know, I know. Then it wouldn't have been a true "Calmes" esssssperrience.
The writing… what's with all the short declarative sentences that are essentially redundant not to mention repetitive? Also, what's with the dialogue? Who said what is too bourgeois for The Calmes?
BUT, before the butthurt morphs into stabby, I did laugh. I made a butt load of weird faces. I face palmed a few times. I wish I had known about that drinking game, though. I would've saved it for a weekend and had a big time. Like a box of wine big time.
I don't need to recommend this to anyone. Everyone's read it already!
September 17, 2016
The best thing Mary Calmes has written.
I adored every single goddamn thing about this book.
I adored every single goddamn thing about this book.
March 14, 2024
Well get on board and read this book, because even though it's ridiculous and they are all crazy as fuck...this book was awesome !!
I don't even know how to explain what this book is about, but I will try to give you some idea.
Trevan and Landry have been in a relationship for 2 years. I thought it was kinda nice to read a book about an already established couple.
Trevan is a money runner for a big-time bookie and Landry (former man-whore) just opened his own jewelry shop. Nothing weird yet right...
Their relationship, however, is not what I would describe...very healthy. They are extremely possessive of one another and especially Landry needs constant reassurance. At one point Trevan wakes up with Landry standing over him...jerking off while holding a knife.
His answer as to what he's gonna do with the knife is..
" Gonna carve my name on your skin, so everyone knows you're mine"
... Later we get to know a little bit more about Landry and why he is the way he is... He's not really right in the head, that's for sure and there were moments where he annoyed me, but I still loved him anyway ;) How could I not...
Now, this is a Mary Calmes book, so all this weird ott shit starts happening. I absolutely loved it !! We get some estranged weird as fuck family who comes back into play, changes at work because of people getting killed off and of course a kidnapping...
Then there is also Trev's guardian angel, aka his shadow who keeps protecting him..Conrad, the hitman. Damn, but I loved that guy. I really wished there was a book about him.
This book was very different from the Matter of Time series, yet in some way, it still reminded me of it. Especially the ott stuff and the way Landry seemed to be able to fix everything and how most people liked him.
This book wasn't drenched in sex, but what was there was very hot and even though the MC's were very much insane, they really made it work between the two of them. I think they were perfect for each other!
Conclusion...I loved it, so 4 stars from me.
May 24, 2020
There’s Calmes Crazy and Then There’s This 3 Star Madness
If I watched telenovelas and assumed what typically went down with them, then I would guess that this would be a close approximation. Dios mio.
I have 31 Calmes books under my belt, and I’ve had my fair share of disbelief and over the top shenanigans throughout the years, but I fail to see the point of this book. Can someone tell me? How does this fit into the grand scheme of things in her loosely tied alternate universe that includes Jory & Sam and Miro & Ian? Anyone??
Regardless, I was side eying this the whole time thinking, it sounds like a Calmes book. It acts like a Calmes book, but something was just off.
Drama lama to the max with questionable MC’s, not only in their life choices but their own sanity.
This was all sorts of el pollo loco and if my Spanish doesn’t make sense then just know that’s exactly how I felt reading this.
If I watched telenovelas and assumed what typically went down with them, then I would guess that this would be a close approximation. Dios mio.
I have 31 Calmes books under my belt, and I’ve had my fair share of disbelief and over the top shenanigans throughout the years, but I fail to see the point of this book. Can someone tell me? How does this fit into the grand scheme of things in her loosely tied alternate universe that includes Jory & Sam and Miro & Ian? Anyone??
Regardless, I was side eying this the whole time thinking, it sounds like a Calmes book. It acts like a Calmes book, but something was just off.
Drama lama to the max with questionable MC’s, not only in their life choices but their own sanity.
This was all sorts of el pollo loco and if my Spanish doesn’t make sense then just know that’s exactly how I felt reading this.
December 8, 2016
This was such a good book. Not that I'm very surprised though, it is Mary Calmes, for Christ's sake. : )
This plot had a bit of everything, just shy of the kitchen sink.
From true love, a crazy (formerly-whorish) boyfriend, gambling, a pretty awesome hit man, a Dynasty-esque mansion, catfights of the rich and famous on a Vegas rooftop bar, 'screwing the help', kidnapping, cold parents, reacquainted siblings, then back to true love again.
I half way expected there to be a shifter in the mix before the last page, but alas, that would have been the proverbial kitchen sink.
The chemistry between Trev and Landry was spot on, with Trev being Lan's center, calming him and giving him what he needed, when even Lan had no idea what that might be.
Trev was the true home that no amount of money from Landry's past could buy (not from lack of trying.) And the rest of the healing to Landry's battered soul came in the form of Trev's extended family, where basically if they love you, they just grab you and hug the crap out of you, force you to eat and get up in your face when they think you're full of shit. As Lan would say, "It's awesome."
So over the hill and through the woods, then through the wringer, several times, our two heroes go and come out the other side, all the stronger for it. In other words, you'll get no spoilers here, ladies.
However, I will say that one of my favorite aspects of the book is Trev's friendship with Conrad, the contract killer. It was very unique, kind of like hugging a rattlesnake. But the rattlesnake actually likes you and knows when to slither away when he feels like biting you -- or snapping your neck in Conrad's case.
Very highly recommended, as I find the majority of Ms. Calmes reads. : ) 4.5 Stars.
March 9, 2012
.
Great book: my new favourite Mary Calmes novel. I liked this even more than the Matter of Time series.
No angst involved in this one: it's a committed couple dealing with 'stuff'. Like Landry, I really like the calm stability of their domestic routine togther, and felt this lovely sense of peace when they got to return to it. I particularly loved Trev's possessiveness, which is all delicious and never creepy.
Smokin' hot sex scenes, and Calmes manages to avoid the 60% sex 40% plot trap. This is 90% plot, 10% sex: just the perfect amount of explicit sex to make it hot, hot, hot, and not too much to get me bored. We really get to know and fall in love with these men, who are drawn as full, complex characters.
It was extremely nice to have several secondary female characters too, who were developed and not merely functioning as 2D foils for plot purposes.
It seems so rude to read a new release and demand a sequel, but I'm going to anyway: please, please, more Trev and Landry! Or, more Conrad - jeez louise how HOT would that be!!!? Pleeeease?
EDIT: 3 Aug 12 Having given this far too much thought late at night, I'm pushing for a Rush Howard and Conrad ship.
Great book: my new favourite Mary Calmes novel. I liked this even more than the Matter of Time series.
No angst involved in this one: it's a committed couple dealing with 'stuff'. Like Landry, I really like the calm stability of their domestic routine togther, and felt this lovely sense of peace when they got to return to it. I particularly loved Trev's possessiveness, which is all delicious and never creepy.
Smokin' hot sex scenes, and Calmes manages to avoid the 60% sex 40% plot trap. This is 90% plot, 10% sex: just the perfect amount of explicit sex to make it hot, hot, hot, and not too much to get me bored. We really get to know and fall in love with these men, who are drawn as full, complex characters.
It was extremely nice to have several secondary female characters too, who were developed and not merely functioning as 2D foils for plot purposes.
It seems so rude to read a new release and demand a sequel, but I'm going to anyway: please, please, more Trev and Landry! Or, more Conrad - jeez louise how HOT would that be!!!? Pleeeease?
EDIT: 3 Aug 12 Having given this far too much thought late at night, I'm pushing for a Rush Howard and Conrad ship.
April 5, 2021
woah.
This book was intense!
A codependent relationship between two MC's that takes possessiveness to a new level.
Trevan and Landry are together when the book starts, but we get a flashback to how they started. I would almost say that the relationship was flawed because of how messed up Landry is, but it somehow worked for them. I mean, crazy people need love too, man! Ask my husband! Luckily, I hit the sweet spot in the crazy/hot spectrum. Or, so he thought... buwahaha!
And, Trevan's care for Landry was beautiful and amazing. I really wish this was a series so we could have Conrad find someone, because, once again, the sociopath hitman was my favorite person.
This book was intense!
A codependent relationship between two MC's that takes possessiveness to a new level.
Trevan and Landry are together when the book starts, but we get a flashback to how they started. I would almost say that the relationship was flawed because of how messed up Landry is, but it somehow worked for them. I mean, crazy people need love too, man! Ask my husband! Luckily, I hit the sweet spot in the crazy/hot spectrum. Or, so he thought... buwahaha!
And, Trevan's care for Landry was beautiful and amazing. I really wish this was a series so we could have Conrad find someone, because, once again, the sociopath hitman was my favorite person.
May 20, 2018
Reread May 2018
This book was still a crazy fucked up mess second go round and I still loved it. These two are a mess but they work.
Originally read June 2016
This book was hot schizophrenic chaos. But I loved it!
*4.5 Stars*
In the beginning, I felt like I was dropped into the middle of a story. Trevan and Landry are already a couple. There were a few flashbacks to how they met. Landry is a mess..going from guy to guy seeking love and attention. Trevan had been stalking him and finally took action and made him his.
Let me tell you, this was one hell of a fucked up crazy. A good one…It was crazy OTT but it worked. It was entertaining and engaging. I HAD to keep reading. I HAD to see where it all went. Though I have to say, the whole bookie/gambling thing went WAY over my head. I had a hard time following all that and who answered to whom.
Trevan is a freaking saint. He’s a fixer. Always fixing problems and making things right. I absolutely adored him. He knew just what Landry needed when he needed it. Landry is a wreck. I'm still not sure what his diagnosis would be but he definitely has problems. His family puts the dys in dysfunctional. They are a mess. Landry's issues are deep but Trevan is what he needs. And as much as Landry needs Trevan, Trevan needs Landry. Their relationship just works.
This was definitely a crazy train wreck of a mess but I loved every minute of it. This was my first Mary Calmes book and won’t be my last.
This book was still a crazy fucked up mess second go round and I still loved it. These two are a mess but they work.
Originally read June 2016
This book was hot schizophrenic chaos. But I loved it!
*4.5 Stars*
In the beginning, I felt like I was dropped into the middle of a story. Trevan and Landry are already a couple. There were a few flashbacks to how they met. Landry is a mess..going from guy to guy seeking love and attention. Trevan had been stalking him and finally took action and made him his.
Let me tell you, this was one hell of a fucked up crazy. A good one…It was crazy OTT but it worked. It was entertaining and engaging. I HAD to keep reading. I HAD to see where it all went. Though I have to say, the whole bookie/gambling thing went WAY over my head. I had a hard time following all that and who answered to whom.
Trevan is a freaking saint. He’s a fixer. Always fixing problems and making things right. I absolutely adored him. He knew just what Landry needed when he needed it. Landry is a wreck. I'm still not sure what his diagnosis would be but he definitely has problems. His family puts the dys in dysfunctional. They are a mess. Landry's issues are deep but Trevan is what he needs. And as much as Landry needs Trevan, Trevan needs Landry. Their relationship just works.
This was definitely a crazy train wreck of a mess but I loved every minute of it. This was my first Mary Calmes book and won’t be my last.
February 20, 2019
3 Stars
Told in single POV, 1st person. It’s a standalone novel and a bit angsty. It doesn’t have a strong plot. That kidnapping that is mentioned in the blurb? Actually, it happened at the last 30% and before it’s started, it was finished! Like in two chapters! And I really disliked Landry. He’s crazy and behaved like a brat. Overall, it was an okay read and hope you enjoy it more than me.
Told in single POV, 1st person. It’s a standalone novel and a bit angsty. It doesn’t have a strong plot. That kidnapping that is mentioned in the blurb? Actually, it happened at the last 30% and before it’s started, it was finished! Like in two chapters! And I really disliked Landry. He’s crazy and behaved like a brat. Overall, it was an okay read and hope you enjoy it more than me.
May 16, 2020
2.5 Stars
This book made me want to start a shelf titled “what the f*ck did I just read.”
Seriously, this was absolutely batshit mental—the story, the characters, the relationship...just, everything!
Now, that’s not necessarily a bad thing, especially if you are prone to love Calmes’ brand of crazy, but something about this particular one, and the extreme-ness of its characters and their relationship, just didn’t sit as well with me as some of her other (often OTT) stories have. We could blame it on mood, perhaps, I’m not sure. It is what it is.
I can honestly say Mine was the most bonkers Calmes story I’ve read to date, and f*ck me if that isn’t saying something.
This book made me want to start a shelf titled “what the f*ck did I just read.”
Seriously, this was absolutely batshit mental—the story, the characters, the relationship...just, everything!
Now, that’s not necessarily a bad thing, especially if you are prone to love Calmes’ brand of crazy, but something about this particular one, and the extreme-ness of its characters and their relationship, just didn’t sit as well with me as some of her other (often OTT) stories have. We could blame it on mood, perhaps, I’m not sure. It is what it is.
I can honestly say Mine was the most bonkers Calmes story I’ve read to date, and f*ck me if that isn’t saying something.
September 10, 2016
You know when you know a couple and you wonder to yourself...they're crazy. Not crazy like a quick saying in passing but like one of them is like: CERTIFIABLE M-F'ING CRA-ZAY
And then you wonder how in the hell they make it work. Who wants to put up with that? Bless those two nerves that are left because they must be made of titanium.
You know that kind of crazy. Cause that's what you find in these two men's love for one another. Trevan and Landry...a money runner and jewelry store owner. On paper they just don't seem like they would run in the same circles but oh...my...do I like their crazy, possessive, sick, hot, jealous, love for each other. And to be applied so expertly to M/M romance? Oh job well done, Mary Calmes.
I give five stars to the back story for each man. The nuances of Landry were just spot on. I didn't want to love him but I did. He was endearing.
The one thing that I kind of didn't like (just a little thing) Trevan was a little to preachy to others at times. And I didn't understand why William would want to give his entire two-timing life story to a virtual stranger, especially one you're jealous of - the new man. I just didn't buy the extra sharing.
Other than that, I loved the references onto the building of the tornado that is the love of Trevan and Landry (That knife scene...lustfully certifiable chic). I can't believe I had this gem sitting on my Kindle for awhile and didn't know how great of a read it would be (So great, I'm missing sleep and I'm happy about it). I recommend for those in the mood for drama, crazy, certifiable drama and some crime thrown in.
P.S. I do second a book about Conrad (maybe him and Scott *hint, hint*)
All aboard the crazy train? It's a one way ticket to insane, codependent love.
No, not interested?
Well Trevan and Landry don't want nor need you anyway. FOUR & A HALF STARS
And then you wonder how in the hell they make it work. Who wants to put up with that? Bless those two nerves that are left because they must be made of titanium.
You know that kind of crazy. Cause that's what you find in these two men's love for one another. Trevan and Landry...a money runner and jewelry store owner. On paper they just don't seem like they would run in the same circles but oh...my...do I like their crazy, possessive, sick, hot, jealous, love for each other. And to be applied so expertly to M/M romance? Oh job well done, Mary Calmes.
I give five stars to the back story for each man. The nuances of Landry were just spot on. I didn't want to love him but I did. He was endearing.
The one thing that I kind of didn't like (just a little thing) Trevan was a little to preachy to others at times. And I didn't understand why William would want to give his entire two-timing life story to a virtual stranger, especially one you're jealous of - the new man. I just didn't buy the extra sharing.
Other than that, I loved the references onto the building of the tornado that is the love of Trevan and Landry (That knife scene...lustfully certifiable chic). I can't believe I had this gem sitting on my Kindle for awhile and didn't know how great of a read it would be (So great, I'm missing sleep and I'm happy about it). I recommend for those in the mood for drama, crazy, certifiable drama and some crime thrown in.
P.S. I do second a book about Conrad (maybe him and Scott *hint, hint*)
All aboard the crazy train? It's a one way ticket to insane, codependent love.
No, not interested?
Well Trevan and Landry don't want nor need you anyway. FOUR & A HALF STARS
June 6, 2018
4.5*
Okay, this is a whole load of crazy. I don’t think there’s a single “normal” person in this book and it makes for an interesting and addictive read.
I found I just couldn’t put it down. I loved it and Trevan deserves a medal. A big one.
Trevan is a runner (for a bookie not in races) so his job has a certain amount of danger. Not that he has to worry too much since his friend Conrad is a much feared contract killer.
He’s also living with his boyfriend Landry. Now originally I wasn’t impressed by this since I felt I’d missed out. But flashbacks take us to when they actually got together for the first time.
Landry is all kinds of crazy and there’s one scene in particular which drives this home (bed, knife....). And then we meet his family.
Like I said it a whole load of addictive crazy.
April 24, 2017
No. This did not work for me.Trevan Bean (24) was strange, but still lovable. Loyal and patient. Landry Carter (26) was crazy as fuck and unstable. I didn't get him, nor did I get this story. It was hard to follow and I couldn't enjoy it at all. I actually disliked this book and I'm rather disappointed. I enjoy Mary Calmes' fantasy books (the shifter ones), as I love the animalistic feeling they give, but this one... just not for me. Probably because it's contemporary and I couldn't relate at all, and I couldn't make the contemporary work with M.C.'s writing style. I don't know how to explain it. Overall, I didn't like this one.
Quick basic facts:
Genre: - (Adult) Contemporary Romance (M/M)
Series: - Standalone
Love triangle? -
Cheating? -
HEA? -
Favorite character? - Trevan Bean.
Would I read more by this author/or of series? - Yes.
Would I recommend this book/series? - No.
Will I read this again in the future? - No.
Rating - 1.5 stars.
“No one sees you but me. No one hears you but me. All of you, your skin, your smell, your cum, all of it is mine, and especially your voice when you scream my name.”
Quick basic facts:
Genre: - (Adult) Contemporary Romance (M/M)
Series: - Standalone
Love triangle? -
Cheating? -
HEA? -
Favorite character? - Trevan Bean.
Would I read more by this author/or of series? - Yes.
Would I recommend this book/series? - No.
Will I read this again in the future? - No.
Rating - 1.5 stars.
March 27, 2018
I don't know why I waited so long to read this book!!? It was freaking awesome. TBH, I pretty much love all things by Mary Calmes. I know there are some people who say her books are somewhat cheesy and unrealistic, but I don't care. She puts me into a happy place. Frog by her is one of my all time faves. I love all of her characters, and they always end up feeling like family to me. I can't wait to dive into the Vault series next. I can't wait for her next book in the Marshall series!!!
March 7, 2012
I love watching a writer working to stretch her craft, and that's what Mary Calmes has done in this book. Her characters are not perfect--but they are perfect for each other. At the end of the book Trev is not automatically out of his semi-shady life, Landry is not magically cured of his demons--but they have each other, and when this story comes right down to it, that's the heart of it. I've often loved Mary's characters because we usually get to see one of them be the pinwheel in a whirlwind, the epicenter of the crazy that is life, and while this has the same feel in places, we get to see Trevan, the narrator, fall completely apart too. Trev has his blind spots, has his blind loyalties, has his places where he very well may fail, and Landry is a handful-- it's very clear that Trev can't afford to fail, not even in small things like making him eat or deciding when to be forceful or when to back off and let Landry have the reins. I'm a real fan of Elmore Leonard-ish characters (George Clooney's character from "Out of Sight" for example, or the happy couple in "True Crime") and that's what Calmes is striving for here. She creates a world in which the criminals are still the good guys, the hit-man is the guardian angel, and the basket case is the most constant star in Trevan's sky. It's a good world, and I enjoyed myself there immensely.
April 27, 2017
What a wonderfully twisted relationship this was.
I never told anyone about waking in the night to him standing over me with a knife.
“What’re you gonna do?” I asked, reaching for him.
“Carve my name in your skin so everyone knows you’re mine."
“Are you sleepwalking?” I asked gently. I knew he did that sometimes, having had entire conversations with him when he was not awake. He shivered and moved closer to me, his hands sliding over my hips.
“I fell asleep on the couch,” he said, “and I had a dream that you… I was thinking that if I just put my name on you, marked you… branded you… that no one would ever be confused about who you belonged to.”
Crazy crazy crazy. I loved it.
I never told anyone about waking in the night to him standing over me with a knife.
“What’re you gonna do?” I asked, reaching for him.
“Carve my name in your skin so everyone knows you’re mine."
“Are you sleepwalking?” I asked gently. I knew he did that sometimes, having had entire conversations with him when he was not awake. He shivered and moved closer to me, his hands sliding over my hips.
“I fell asleep on the couch,” he said, “and I had a dream that you… I was thinking that if I just put my name on you, marked you… branded you… that no one would ever be confused about who you belonged to.”
Crazy crazy crazy. I loved it.
July 22, 2023
Original review 07/29/2015
Re-listen 02/25/2016
Month of Mary 2017 re-read 5/4/2017, 6/11/2017, 10/14/2017
Re-listen 1/35/2018 I still wonder why this guy has not narrated more. I know I'd pay to listen to him.
Month of Mary Re-listen 5/13/2019 I love Mary's brand of crazy. STILL wish this narrator would have done more narrations. Sigh...
reread/re-listen 7/21/2023 just embrace the crazy. I came for Trevon and the man with many names.
*****narration review only*****
Oh my gawd. Caleb Dickinson has a freaking hot voice. It is deep and sultry. His voice just gave me chills. He did a really great job with this. I will definitely look for more with him as a narrator. He was able to make the crazy sound so sexy. Mary Calmes is my crack, so I enjoyed the crazy anyway. But this guy? He made it sound soooooo good. He could just recite the alphabet to make my ovaries explode. oh yea... sexy
Re-listen 02/25/2016
Month of Mary 2017 re-read 5/4/2017, 6/11/2017, 10/14/2017
Re-listen 1/35/2018 I still wonder why this guy has not narrated more. I know I'd pay to listen to him.
Month of Mary Re-listen 5/13/2019 I love Mary's brand of crazy. STILL wish this narrator would have done more narrations. Sigh...
reread/re-listen 7/21/2023 just embrace the crazy. I came for Trevon and the man with many names.
*****narration review only*****
Oh my gawd. Caleb Dickinson has a freaking hot voice. It is deep and sultry. His voice just gave me chills. He did a really great job with this. I will definitely look for more with him as a narrator. He was able to make the crazy sound so sexy. Mary Calmes is my crack, so I enjoyed the crazy anyway. But this guy? He made it sound soooooo good. He could just recite the alphabet to make my ovaries explode. oh yea... sexy
Read
October 24, 2013Shelved at 52%
I may come back to this one later .
I get the appeal to others and I do love me some crazy. This however, is not my flavor of crazy.
I have a few pet peeves that are all me: whining, nagging and unnecessary drama. Whiny, naggy drama is the mantra of these two whackadoodles. They get off on it, good for them, not for me.
To me the hardcore codependence was just depressing and made both MC’s completely unappealing. Both Landry and Trevan mentioned repeatedly how messed up they were and since they both got off on it, a lot, the only thing I felt for them was irritation and impatience.
Instead of thinking:
“I sure do hope these crazy kids work things out.”
It was more of a:
“So, where are you two paragons of sanity gonna be? I need to know so I can be WAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY the fuck over there, preferably in another time zone.”
I may come back to this one later .
I get the appeal to others and I do love me some crazy. This however, is not my flavor of crazy.
I have a few pet peeves that are all me: whining, nagging and unnecessary drama. Whiny, naggy drama is the mantra of these two whackadoodles. They get off on it, good for them, not for me.
To me the hardcore codependence was just depressing and made both MC’s completely unappealing. Both Landry and Trevan mentioned repeatedly how messed up they were and since they both got off on it, a lot, the only thing I felt for them was irritation and impatience.
Instead of thinking:
“I sure do hope these crazy kids work things out.”
It was more of a:
“So, where are you two paragons of sanity gonna be? I need to know so I can be WAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY the fuck over there, preferably in another time zone.”
February 16, 2018
I ended up doubling back and reading this one, because I started Late in the Day, and was crazy intrigued by Trevan and Conrad... And let's just say that CRAZY is definitely the operative word here, because WHAT. THE. FUCK. Did I just read?
Okay, so Trevan is a 'good, bad guy'?!
Having never been a big gambler or that interested in football, I never quite understood what it was that he did, other than collect winnings/losses from bets.
So Trev is a runner, and he's really well-liked and helps his family and protects the weak and his boyfriend and he's crazy possessive with a dash of extra testosterone and of course the crazy (there was that word again) hitman LOVES Trev, even if he wants to kill him once in a while, but when that happens the hitman (Conrad) just turns around and walks away.
Like that's LITERALLY his coping mechanism for his murderous tendencies towards Trev....
Like... "Do I want to KILL Trev, or am I just gonna go through this park instead?"
And even though this was totally cray-cray and OTT and Alpha-testosterone all over these pages, I kind of liked it. I found myself smiling, even though it wasn't really funny, because it was just... Sort of badass!
I thought Trev was cool (boy, are we romanticizing crime and criminals, but he WAS) and I loved how fiercely he LOVED Landry, even though that dude was even more cray-cray...
And then... THEN this storycrashed?! took a turn from Crayville to Fuck-this-shit-city! bombed!
All that crap with Landry's family and the kidnapping and the aftermath and how Landry's family was just gonna be a-okay with everything, and how not ONE apology was uttered, had me going from: "yay, this is crazy, but fun" to:
I was so close to rating this one at 2 stars, because it made NO FUCKING SENSE why they would want to hang out with Landry's horrible family after the way they ALL treated Landry.
And major spoiler:
Well FUCK that! I don't care how she does 'shit', why should she be rewarded with Landry's forgiveness for her crappy behaviour?
Can romance novelists please unite and repeat after me:
"We do NOT need to hang on to crappy/abusive family, just because they're blood!
The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."
Just... Right now (and basically since publication) there's a big discussion on FSOG, and if it's abuse or not.
I would LOVE if the romance genre took a meeting about this 'family-crap' as well. I will bring butter cookies and Danish snaps, and then we can have a debate.
The problem as I see it: it is shown time and again how Landry and Trev are with each other, their flaws, their mistakes and so on. It's told that their friends are worried about Landry's 'abusive' behavior, and that Trev should be careful.
(*sidenote: I didn't find his behaviour abusive, just OTT, and cray-cray and waaaay jealous!)
But not ONE of them has the same objections to Landry's family, and I think that's complete and utter BULLSHIT!
Why should the 'family' have a 'get-out-of-jail-free-card when other abusers don't?!?
The end saved it somewhat and dragged the rating up to 3, what with both Trev and Landry being 'more mellow' and both of them ready to talk to a therapist, which I thought was maybe a good idea... Just for the sake of:
their neighbour
their friends
their bank account and
their peace of mind.
All in all this was a crazy story, with crazy people and a MAJOR pet-peeve or two, but it still sort of worked.
Okay, so Trevan is a 'good, bad guy'?!
Having never been a big gambler or that interested in football, I never quite understood what it was that he did, other than collect winnings/losses from bets.
So Trev is a runner, and he's really well-liked and helps his family and protects the weak and his boyfriend and he's crazy possessive with a dash of extra testosterone and of course the crazy (there was that word again) hitman LOVES Trev, even if he wants to kill him once in a while, but when that happens the hitman (Conrad) just turns around and walks away.
Like that's LITERALLY his coping mechanism for his murderous tendencies towards Trev....
Like... "Do I want to KILL Trev, or am I just gonna go through this park instead?"
And even though this was totally cray-cray and OTT and Alpha-testosterone all over these pages, I kind of liked it. I found myself smiling, even though it wasn't really funny, because it was just... Sort of badass!
I thought Trev was cool (boy, are we romanticizing crime and criminals, but he WAS) and I loved how fiercely he LOVED Landry, even though that dude was even more cray-cray...
And then... THEN this story
All that crap with Landry's family and the kidnapping and the aftermath and how Landry's family was just gonna be a-okay with everything, and how not ONE apology was uttered, had me going from: "yay, this is crazy, but fun" to:
I was so close to rating this one at 2 stars, because it made NO FUCKING SENSE why they would want to hang out with Landry's horrible family after the way they ALL treated Landry.
And major spoiler:
Well FUCK that! I don't care how she does 'shit', why should she be rewarded with Landry's forgiveness for her crappy behaviour?
Can romance novelists please unite and repeat after me:
"We do NOT need to hang on to crappy/abusive family, just because they're blood!
The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."
Just... Right now (and basically since publication) there's a big discussion on FSOG, and if it's abuse or not.
I would LOVE if the romance genre took a meeting about this 'family-crap' as well. I will bring butter cookies and Danish snaps, and then we can have a debate.
The problem as I see it: it is shown time and again how Landry and Trev are with each other, their flaws, their mistakes and so on. It's told that their friends are worried about Landry's 'abusive' behavior, and that Trev should be careful.
(*sidenote: I didn't find his behaviour abusive, just OTT, and cray-cray and waaaay jealous!)
But not ONE of them has the same objections to Landry's family, and I think that's complete and utter BULLSHIT!
Why should the 'family' have a 'get-out-of-jail-free-card when other abusers don't?!?
The end saved it somewhat and dragged the rating up to 3, what with both Trev and Landry being 'more mellow' and both of them ready to talk to a therapist, which I thought was maybe a good idea... Just for the sake of:
their neighbour
their friends
their bank account and
their peace of mind.
All in all this was a crazy story, with crazy people and a MAJOR pet-peeve or two, but it still sort of worked.
Read
August 11, 2019Time of death - 19%
I know it's time to DNF when I quit a book to read something else and then lose all life force when contemplating picking it up again.
I know it's time to DNF when I quit a book to read something else and then lose all life force when contemplating picking it up again.
March 4, 2014
Absurdly entertaining.
That is all.
That is all.
May 26, 2016
Not what I was expecting. I put off reading this because I thought this would be a bit of an angsty book about a couple going on and off again because they're so dysfuntional, instead it was a very functional relationship, but it just functioned in a very dysfuntional way. Landry and Trev are very sweet togther, their devotion for each other is on every page and doesn't change despite what happens in the book.
“I just, out of all this shit, I feel like we’re still us, you know? We’re Trev and Landry, and we’ll always be okay because we always have each other.”
Of course they are also batshit crazy!! Especially Landry, but I loved it, I was giggling and shaking my head at the 'carving' scene... so crazy....
Now this audiobook is SOOOOOO GOOOD!!!! I couldn't imagine not listening to Caleb Dickinson as the voice of Trevan. He did amazing character voices with accents and different pitches. Every word he accentuated was perfect!!! I'm not going to pretend I am a connoisseur of audiobooks having listened to a whole three of them, but one was terrible and the other was brilliant, so I know both good and bad and Caleb's narration was...consuming!!! I blocked out everything going on around me and feel into the story, thanks largely to Caleb's voice!
“I just, out of all this shit, I feel like we’re still us, you know? We’re Trev and Landry, and we’ll always be okay because we always have each other.”
Of course they are also batshit crazy!! Especially Landry, but I loved it, I was giggling and shaking my head at the 'carving' scene... so crazy....
Now this audiobook is SOOOOOO GOOOD!!!! I couldn't imagine not listening to Caleb Dickinson as the voice of Trevan. He did amazing character voices with accents and different pitches. Every word he accentuated was perfect!!! I'm not going to pretend I am a connoisseur of audiobooks having listened to a whole three of them, but one was terrible and the other was brilliant, so I know both good and bad and Caleb's narration was...consuming!!! I blocked out everything going on around me and feel into the story, thanks largely to Caleb's voice!
November 21, 2022
I am happy to report this did not lose any of its crazy. Now I'll go read Darius's book.
This has been a great revisit.
Re-Read 2022, welcome back to Crazy Town
-------
Well, that was a totally different kind of Mary Calmes crazy. Good stuff as usual but totally different.
We are all a little crazy though aren't we?
This has been a great revisit.
Re-Read 2022, welcome back to Crazy Town
-------
Well, that was a totally different kind of Mary Calmes crazy. Good stuff as usual but totally different.
We are all a little crazy though aren't we?
October 17, 2013
So yeah .. waking up to the love of your life sitting on top of you maybe awake - maybe not and he is holding a switchblade and your solution is to seduce him to snap him out of this minor issue. Then all I know is Good effing luck. You were made for each other .
I spent most of this story thinking Trevan had the patience of a saint and half wanting to give him the number to a shelter/Lawyer/police. just saying.
Yet I loved this book. This was such a good story and you are sucked in from the first paragraph on a crazy ride through a week in Trevans' life. It is a weird thing being on the rooting for side of a seemingly destructive relationship. You really never know if Trevan is flat out lying to himself or if Landry is just very misunderstood.
I love books where the characters make me feel sane and I know deep down in my never would admit outloud bones that I have my crazy moments in my relationship but I have never wanted to carve my initial into his skin out of jealousy. So yeah!!! I win.. I love it when stories make me feel good about myself...
Thank you shereads.. I had this on my too read pile for a long time and never really thought about reading because it seemed to dark. I am so glad for the nudge.
February 7, 2015
Trevan and Landry have been together for 2 years. This is not a healthy relationship these two have.
Our relationship was a twisted, codependent mess, but it worked for us, and within the snarl that it was, we functioned pretty well. Well, I’m not sure about that last statement, Trev.
Trevan stalked Landry for a few months and then finally went up to him at a party. He jacks him off and declares Landry his. Landry of course goes all gooey and not just because he’s being jerked off but because no one has ever wanted to keep him. So Trevan takes him home and Landry stays.
Landry may or may not be bipolar but he definitely has problems. He’s jealous and paranoid and has psychotic episodes like this:
I never told anyone about waking in the night to [Landy] standing over me with a knife. It was small, one of my switchblades, chosen for carving, not stabbing, but still sharp, still able to kill me. He was breathing hard, stroking himself and looking at me with glazed eyes. “Watcha doin’, babe?” …He didn’t even see me, intent on my chest…”What are you gonna do?” “Carve my name in your skin so everyone knows you’re mine.”
Trevan keeps him functioning and stable, for the most part. “You’re okay.” “Only because you say so.” I really need to think about fixing that... Yeah but Trev is in no hurry to fix that. He needs Landry to need him to be Landry’s rock. He's possessive and controlling and for the last two years, instead of insisting on them seeking professional help, Trevan gets off on trying to fuck the crazy out of Landry. So much so that I think I may have developed a Pavlovian response to insanity. Anytime someone starts acting a little crazy around me I will spontaneously orgasm.
There’s a plot in there somewhere, just don’t blink or you’ll miss it. A lot of the things I might have found exciting, like the stuff going on with Trevan’s boss and even Landry’s kidnapping , all happened and were resolved off page.
So this is more like a 3.5 but I’m bumping it up to 4 because these two were insanely entertaining and completely hot. This may just be a favorite Mary Calmes mainly because the head banging it provoked was minimal and so it probably won’t cause me permanent damage.
Our relationship was a twisted, codependent mess, but it worked for us, and within the snarl that it was, we functioned pretty well. Well, I’m not sure about that last statement, Trev.
Trevan stalked Landry for a few months and then finally went up to him at a party. He jacks him off and declares Landry his. Landry of course goes all gooey and not just because he’s being jerked off but because no one has ever wanted to keep him. So Trevan takes him home and Landry stays.
Landry may or may not be bipolar but he definitely has problems. He’s jealous and paranoid and has psychotic episodes like this:
I never told anyone about waking in the night to [Landy] standing over me with a knife. It was small, one of my switchblades, chosen for carving, not stabbing, but still sharp, still able to kill me. He was breathing hard, stroking himself and looking at me with glazed eyes. “Watcha doin’, babe?” …He didn’t even see me, intent on my chest…”What are you gonna do?” “Carve my name in your skin so everyone knows you’re mine.”
Trevan keeps him functioning and stable, for the most part. “You’re okay.” “Only because you say so.” I really need to think about fixing that... Yeah but Trev is in no hurry to fix that. He needs Landry to need him to be Landry’s rock. He's possessive and controlling and for the last two years, instead of insisting on them seeking professional help, Trevan gets off on trying to fuck the crazy out of Landry. So much so that I think I may have developed a Pavlovian response to insanity. Anytime someone starts acting a little crazy around me I will spontaneously orgasm.
There’s a plot in there somewhere, just don’t blink or you’ll miss it. A lot of the things I might have found exciting, like the stuff going on with Trevan’s boss and even Landry’s kidnapping , all happened and were resolved off page.
So this is more like a 3.5 but I’m bumping it up to 4 because these two were insanely entertaining and completely hot. This may just be a favorite Mary Calmes mainly because the head banging it provoked was minimal and so it probably won’t cause me permanent damage.
dnf
February 9, 2023DNF@9% I couldn’t make it through one more page. This was weird. It was so confusing for no damn reason, it was just how it was written. The dialogue was stilted, boring and awkward- no one besides bots talk like that.
I was about to say I wish this had more show and less tell but I realized that wasn’t the issue. There was just no emotion behind anything. There were supposed to be some impactful scenes but I was reading through them when all of a sudden a character was bawling and I went “wait what?” 🤨. The words didn’t match the vibe or tone.
Too bad because this seemed interesting.
I was about to say I wish this had more show and less tell but I realized that wasn’t the issue. There was just no emotion behind anything. There were supposed to be some impactful scenes but I was reading through them when all of a sudden a character was bawling and I went “wait what?” 🤨. The words didn’t match the vibe or tone.
Too bad because this seemed interesting.
March 12, 2022
Wow, I was drawn in from page one, and I just had to power through practically an all nighter to get as far as I could before falling asleep because it is THAT good 💕💕
January 31, 2013
I have to say I loved this story! This was the story about Trevan a man who works on the wrong side of the law and his partner of two years Landry, who owns a jewelry shop and is not exactly the picture of mental health. These two are dysfunctional to say the least, possessive, insecure, dependent and sometimes childish, I have to say though for me, these two men seemed to heal each other and come together in a way that just melted my heart.
They are also loving, loyal, funny, tender and protective.This is not a long story (about 150 pages), but in those pages was a lot of hot, messy sex!
Now, I will say that the sex kept raising questions in my head, that for some reason I couldn’t get rid of. Now, I will also say before you look at my question that unless sex is hot and messy you and your partner are doing it wrong, just my humble opinion (no hate mail please or rude posts lol). So I will post my question in this spoiler What I also loved about this story was the suspense that was in it, it wasn’t a lot but enough to keep me interested. And there was family drama, which I also love.
What hooked me to these two men was their loyalty to each other. No matter what anyone said to them about the other they never went to that level, not out of anger or hurt feelings, not ever. And even when talking privately they spoke to each other with respect and didn’t resort to name calling or put downs. Trevan especially understood that he was Landy’s rock, his calm place and loved him enough to be there for him no matter how difficult it was at times. Loved this!
September 23, 2015
"Kissing the boo-boos on his face." What are we - in kindergarten?
There were so many things that had me rolling my eyes in disbelief or saying to myself "this IS a joke!" or "you've got to be kidding right?"
In the end it came down to the timing of events and the story line, which seemed all over the place. I could not get into the two main characters Trevan and Landry. One minute Trevan is all bad-ass and a serious Mafioso type and then next, he's this innocent guy knowing that his best friend is a contract killer and yet surprised that he kills people. Uh Hello???? he's a contract killer!
Somewhere in between the sighs, chuckles, giggles, shivers and blushes I fell off the "I love Mary Calmes" bandwagon. Will I read her again - probably yes, but I'm kinda glad this one is over.
There were so many things that had me rolling my eyes in disbelief or saying to myself "this IS a joke!" or "you've got to be kidding right?"
In the end it came down to the timing of events and the story line, which seemed all over the place. I could not get into the two main characters Trevan and Landry. One minute Trevan is all bad-ass and a serious Mafioso type and then next, he's this innocent guy knowing that his best friend is a contract killer and yet surprised that he kills people. Uh Hello???? he's a contract killer!
Somewhere in between the sighs, chuckles, giggles, shivers and blushes I fell off the "I love Mary Calmes" bandwagon. Will I read her again - probably yes, but I'm kinda glad this one is over.
June 10, 2017
Well 4 stars for the cray cray ride i had while reading this.
"Our relationship was a twisted, codependent mess, but it worked for us, and within the snarl that it was, we functioned pretty well."
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