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Loving the Way Jesus Loves
Most people are familiar with the “love chapter” of the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13, yet Phil Ryken has something fresh to say. Drawing on the life and ministry of Jesus to illustrate what love is and isn’t, Ryken brings a unique perspective to this commonly quoted passage.
Loving the Way Jesus Loves successfully integrates biblical teaching, photography, chapter study guides, and a popular-level writing style–all of which will help you understand the profound love of Christ more deeply and, in turn, learn to love more deeply as well.
Loving the Way Jesus Loves successfully integrates biblical teaching, photography, chapter study guides, and a popular-level writing style–all of which will help you understand the profound love of Christ more deeply and, in turn, learn to love more deeply as well.
224 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2012
73 people are currently reading
423 people want to read
About the author
Philip Graham Ryken
109 books69 followersPhilip Graham Ryken is Senior Minister of Tenth Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia, where he has preached since 1995. He is Bible Teacher for the Alliance of Confessing Evangelicals, speaking nationally on the radio program Every Last Word. Dr. Ryken was educated at Wheaton College (IL), Westminster Theological Seminary (PA) and the University of Oxford (UK), from which he received his doctorate in historical theology. He lives with his wife (Lisa) and children (Joshua, Kirsten, Jack, Kathryn, and Karoline) in Center City, Philadelphia. When he is not preaching or spending time with his family, he likes to read books, play sports, and ponder the relationship between Christian faith and American culture. He has written or edited more than twenty books, including Bible commentaries on Exodus, Jeremiah, Lamentations, and Galatians.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 52 reviews
May 15, 2017
Loved the book. It's not often that I find a book filled with conviction AND grace on each page. It was so stirring to see how deeply off the mark I can be at times in my attempts to love those in my life and yet how throughly God is able to love me and love my friends and family through me when I abide in Him.
January 12, 2025
This book is an analysis of 1 Corinthians 13. I appreciate the many angles that Dr. Ryken uses. He drives into the text and various ways the verses can be interpreted and ties all of together with Jesus being the perfect exemplar of how to love. 9/10
March 18, 2020
We read this as a church for our Wednesday night study. Each time we met, I came in with this strong sense of realizing how far short I fall from loving the way Jesus loves. I recognize I'm supposed to know that's a good thing, provided it drives me toward recognizing my weakness and need for God's help in this. But man it can be hard to face my shortcomings, painfully in chapter after chapter of this book.
This was my first time reading anything from Phil Ryken. While I was thinking "yes and amen" throughout the book, I wasn't too often thinking "aha", or "that was insightful", or "that will prove useful/helpful." I fear I'm being too harsh in saying that; perhaps I would have felt differently if reading this for self-study.
A nice aspect of this book is his inclusion of Study Guide Questions in the back of the book. These questions were at times soul-baring fare, which isn't conducive to a study group with 15-20 folks (as we had most weeks). But these tough questions would work great in a smaller, intimate group -- I think.
This was my first time reading anything from Phil Ryken. While I was thinking "yes and amen" throughout the book, I wasn't too often thinking "aha", or "that was insightful", or "that will prove useful/helpful." I fear I'm being too harsh in saying that; perhaps I would have felt differently if reading this for self-study.
A nice aspect of this book is his inclusion of Study Guide Questions in the back of the book. These questions were at times soul-baring fare, which isn't conducive to a study group with 15-20 folks (as we had most weeks). But these tough questions would work great in a smaller, intimate group -- I think.
September 9, 2021
This book was fine. Ryken studies the different components of I Corinthians 13 as it pertains to how Christs love transforms the Christian life. I found the chapter about loving people who irritate you to be the most convicting. Truthfully, I had trouble getting through this one, not because I disagreed with it or found it particularly difficult, but because it felt bland. All true things and good reminders, but over all it was not a book I was excited to read.
August 31, 2025
Seeing how much Jesus loves me opens my eyes to how poorly I sometimes love others. I have too often settled for accepting my “irritability” as a minor annoyance. Now I am beginning to see it as an active hatred of others. I have so far to go. Yet I have hope.
March 30, 2017
Well-written and organized. I liked how he described 1 Corinthians 13 in light of the life of Jesus. Would be a great book for a discussion group.
February 15, 2018
Admittedly, Ryken takes the "This is how Jesus loved us" approach. Not everything he says is unwarranted or unhelpful, but I find that particular scheme applied to a passage like 1 Corinthians 13 to be largely unhelpful. It appeared to me that where Ryken wanted to end, in the love of Christ, is actually where Paul begins. Paul wants Christians to love in this way, which isn't an unrealistic command; neither should it be read as a renewed covenant of works. But it illumines the work of the Holy Spirit *in* the hearts of Christ's people. I would have preferred Ryken to focus on sanctification in this book. Also, the way he chooses to deal with the virtues and vices wasn't the most coherent or focused.
October 25, 2012
Because we desperately need to learn how to love the way Jesus loves, my children and read this book together (a little every day after breakfast). We took a slow pace and did many of the "Study Guide" questions that correspond to each chapter.
What makes this book different from the rest of the books I have read about 1Cor 13, is that it points us to Jesus over and over again as our example to follow.
What makes this book different from the rest of the books I have read about 1Cor 13, is that it points us to Jesus over and over again as our example to follow.
May 14, 2012
Ryken weaves together both 1 Cor. 13 and the Gospels to make a very good book. It continually forced me to think about my love for others. I don't love the way Jesus loves, but I want to. It would be easy to make this a book of do's and dont's, but instead Ryken has written a book that is both practical and encouraging. I look forward to reading it again.
May 1, 2020
Wonderful book length exposition of 1 Corinthians 13. This is a book that could be studied in groups, used in counseling with couples, and revisited every couple of years in discipleship. Highly recommended.
December 15, 2012
Solid sermonic devotional work expounding 1 Corinthians 13. Most memorable part was Ryken's test case of substituting your name for "love", and then replacing your name with Jesus.
February 23, 2021
Love ought to be the distinguishing characteristic of our Christianity. Love is so essential that we are nothing without it. Love is superior to all extraordinary gifts.
No one cares how much we know unless they also know how much we care. What matters most is not how gifted we are but how loving we are.
Our whole salvation is a story of the never-failing love of Jesus, the love of God for us in Christ. You do not need to pretend that you are better than someone else to make up for how bad you feel for not measuring up.
True love does not begrudge the status and honor of another, but delights in it for the sake of others. When we do not treat people nicely and properly we are failing to love, which is always our calling, even in the little things.
People often say that actions speak louder than words. Love does not live for self-interest or self-advantage. It does not pursue self-gratification but practices self-denial instead.
Loving the way Jesus loves means being less insistent on having our own way and more consistent in putting other people first. Loving the way Jesus loves always starts with understanding how much God has loved us.
A Christian is someone who has experienced the love of Jesus and who therefore pursues love in relation to other people.
Father God! Please change me and change my irritable heart!
No one cares how much we know unless they also know how much we care. What matters most is not how gifted we are but how loving we are.
Our whole salvation is a story of the never-failing love of Jesus, the love of God for us in Christ. You do not need to pretend that you are better than someone else to make up for how bad you feel for not measuring up.
True love does not begrudge the status and honor of another, but delights in it for the sake of others. When we do not treat people nicely and properly we are failing to love, which is always our calling, even in the little things.
People often say that actions speak louder than words. Love does not live for self-interest or self-advantage. It does not pursue self-gratification but practices self-denial instead.
Loving the way Jesus loves means being less insistent on having our own way and more consistent in putting other people first. Loving the way Jesus loves always starts with understanding how much God has loved us.
A Christian is someone who has experienced the love of Jesus and who therefore pursues love in relation to other people.
Father God! Please change me and change my irritable heart!
February 8, 2025
This wasn’t new knowledge, but was a helpful read for a state of mind I’m in. Each chapter made the love of Jesus bigger and greater, and made me all the more aware of how I fall short in all the areas of love. On the other hand, the author didn’t shy away from getting into the gospel message of Jesus’s love for ME. I appreciated how He slow walked the physical and psychological? mental? difficulty Jesus faced being separated from the Father on the cross as He had to bare every single sin on Him. Some of this may have hit heavier as I’m reading through the gospels now, and am reading through what He’s talking about. I’m thankful for the beautiful reminder that all the love pieces in 1 Cor 13 are satisfied only by Jesus, and knowing and living in his love for us can we pour that onto other people. The only hard part for me was all the Johnathan Edwards’ quotes, and knowing his history with slave owning, it’s hard to reconcile some of the love quotes for me.
November 1, 2014
Love Is a Person
Loving the way Jesus loves is a daunting task, yet one to which every one of His followers is called. Phil Ryken approaches the central calling of the Christian’s life by walking the reader, slowly and deliberately, through 1 Corinthians 13, the “Love Chapter of the Bible.” Less an exegetical treatment of the text than a life application, Ryken’s approach in Loving the Way Jesus Loves is to show us that love is a Person—Jesus Christ—and not a “feeling” nor an abstract theological concept. He states it plainly: “The biggest challenge for us here is not to understand what Paul meant but to do what he said.” (76).
Ryken establishes the necessity of biblical love more than any other attribute, then goes on in subsequent chapters to demonstrate how each characteristic of love mentioned in verses 3-13 is personified in Christ. Throughout the book, he emphasizes that all of the virtues mentioned in this passage are verbs; attributes we are to put into practice by imitating Christ. Interwoven throughout his discussion of each aspect of love—patience; kindness; selflessness; trust; etc.—are scenes from the life of Christ which underscore how He Himself demonstrated each virtue. Christ’s refusal to become provoked or irritated takes us to the shores of Galilee, at the end of a long day of ministry (Mark 6:7-13). Forgiveness is tenderly demonstrated in His restoration of Peter (John 21:15-17).
Examining our own hearts in light of Christ’s responses to people, we learn how to anticipate our own temptation to become irritable (what Lewis Smedes calls a “spiritual readiness to get angry”), and where it comes from: putting our own wants ahead of other people’s needs. By dissecting irritability (and the other opposite attitudes of those mentioned in the passage), Ryken illustrates in an every-day, non-judgmental way how we fail to love people and hinder our relationship with God. “Love lets the needs of others set our agenda, rather than letting our agenda limit how much we are willing to serve” (55).
A Question…
From the beginning of the book, a question may linger in the back of the reader’s mind: “If love is primarily a choice, and not a feeling (as biblical counselors often exhort), is what Ryken calls ‘loveless social action’ worthless? Do we not have to choose to demonstrate love sometimes—even when we don’t feel like it—out of simple obedience?”
The answer is yes, but to think of love in terms of duty is to miss the point. The problem, as Ryken summarizes, is that “we are less loving than we think we are, and a lot less loving than we ought to be.” Therefore, we need to learn how to love—and this begins our journey into understanding the heart of Jesus. Love is as love does; and through His interaction with other people (most of whom did not reciprocate any kind of affection, let alone charity), we learn to see what love looks like. The Gospel, the Good News that we are loved undeservedly and unconditionally, is what transforms our hearts – from that of dutiful servants to joyful heirs.
Outward Behavior and Inward Heart Change
Throughout the book, Ryken draws the connection between outward behavior and inward heart change. In Chapter 4, Love’s Holy Joy, he explains that rejoicing with the truth (v. 6) goes beyond theology and morality by taking us to the dinner table of Simon the Pharisee. More than warning against participation of sin, however, love does not rejoice in the wrongdoing of others. A subtle sense of satisfaction may creep in when another—especially a rival—falls into sin. What Paul is pointing to (and Christ demonstrated through forgiving the sinful woman) is the joy that comes with a personal experience of God’s grace—and what we rejoice in vicariously when another tastes it. This transformational, selfless, joy-sharing love is what motivates true Christ-like compassion. What better way to cultivate patience towards a fellow believer, than to appreciate a holy God’s patience with us in coming to repentance!
In order to appreciate the multi-faceted love we see in Scripture, Ryken probes deeply into the self-centered human heart in order to understand how and why we fall short. In every failure to forgive; to be long-suffering; to trust—there is an idol. We prize our own comfort; security; reputation or convenience. By contrast, a heart transformed by the forgiving grace of God will be preoccupied with extending the same blessing to others. Ryken shows how our hearts can be truly transformed by grace: “First it takes our failures and forgives them. This gives us so much gratitude that we start loving Jesus in return. But that is not all. The love of Jesus then enables us to serve others with the same kind of love.” (171).
This attitude—giving freely what we have freely received from the hand of God—applies, of course, not only to forgiveness; but to every other loving behavior-attitude listed in 1 Corinthians 13. Far from being a “behavior modification” chapter, Ryken shows, through simple anecdotes and the life of Christ, how to “put off” unloving human reactions and “put on” their godly opposites. His life, example, and personal involvement in ours is what transforms our attitudes and motivation towards others. In this practical and compassionately-written book, Ryken helps Christians of all stages see how walking in love is a natural consequence of living in the overflow of God’s intense, personal, and active love for the believer.
This review was first published on The Biblical Counseling Coalition's website: http://biblicalcounselingcoalition.or...
Loving the way Jesus loves is a daunting task, yet one to which every one of His followers is called. Phil Ryken approaches the central calling of the Christian’s life by walking the reader, slowly and deliberately, through 1 Corinthians 13, the “Love Chapter of the Bible.” Less an exegetical treatment of the text than a life application, Ryken’s approach in Loving the Way Jesus Loves is to show us that love is a Person—Jesus Christ—and not a “feeling” nor an abstract theological concept. He states it plainly: “The biggest challenge for us here is not to understand what Paul meant but to do what he said.” (76).
Ryken establishes the necessity of biblical love more than any other attribute, then goes on in subsequent chapters to demonstrate how each characteristic of love mentioned in verses 3-13 is personified in Christ. Throughout the book, he emphasizes that all of the virtues mentioned in this passage are verbs; attributes we are to put into practice by imitating Christ. Interwoven throughout his discussion of each aspect of love—patience; kindness; selflessness; trust; etc.—are scenes from the life of Christ which underscore how He Himself demonstrated each virtue. Christ’s refusal to become provoked or irritated takes us to the shores of Galilee, at the end of a long day of ministry (Mark 6:7-13). Forgiveness is tenderly demonstrated in His restoration of Peter (John 21:15-17).
Examining our own hearts in light of Christ’s responses to people, we learn how to anticipate our own temptation to become irritable (what Lewis Smedes calls a “spiritual readiness to get angry”), and where it comes from: putting our own wants ahead of other people’s needs. By dissecting irritability (and the other opposite attitudes of those mentioned in the passage), Ryken illustrates in an every-day, non-judgmental way how we fail to love people and hinder our relationship with God. “Love lets the needs of others set our agenda, rather than letting our agenda limit how much we are willing to serve” (55).
A Question…
From the beginning of the book, a question may linger in the back of the reader’s mind: “If love is primarily a choice, and not a feeling (as biblical counselors often exhort), is what Ryken calls ‘loveless social action’ worthless? Do we not have to choose to demonstrate love sometimes—even when we don’t feel like it—out of simple obedience?”
The answer is yes, but to think of love in terms of duty is to miss the point. The problem, as Ryken summarizes, is that “we are less loving than we think we are, and a lot less loving than we ought to be.” Therefore, we need to learn how to love—and this begins our journey into understanding the heart of Jesus. Love is as love does; and through His interaction with other people (most of whom did not reciprocate any kind of affection, let alone charity), we learn to see what love looks like. The Gospel, the Good News that we are loved undeservedly and unconditionally, is what transforms our hearts – from that of dutiful servants to joyful heirs.
Outward Behavior and Inward Heart Change
Throughout the book, Ryken draws the connection between outward behavior and inward heart change. In Chapter 4, Love’s Holy Joy, he explains that rejoicing with the truth (v. 6) goes beyond theology and morality by taking us to the dinner table of Simon the Pharisee. More than warning against participation of sin, however, love does not rejoice in the wrongdoing of others. A subtle sense of satisfaction may creep in when another—especially a rival—falls into sin. What Paul is pointing to (and Christ demonstrated through forgiving the sinful woman) is the joy that comes with a personal experience of God’s grace—and what we rejoice in vicariously when another tastes it. This transformational, selfless, joy-sharing love is what motivates true Christ-like compassion. What better way to cultivate patience towards a fellow believer, than to appreciate a holy God’s patience with us in coming to repentance!
In order to appreciate the multi-faceted love we see in Scripture, Ryken probes deeply into the self-centered human heart in order to understand how and why we fall short. In every failure to forgive; to be long-suffering; to trust—there is an idol. We prize our own comfort; security; reputation or convenience. By contrast, a heart transformed by the forgiving grace of God will be preoccupied with extending the same blessing to others. Ryken shows how our hearts can be truly transformed by grace: “First it takes our failures and forgives them. This gives us so much gratitude that we start loving Jesus in return. But that is not all. The love of Jesus then enables us to serve others with the same kind of love.” (171).
This attitude—giving freely what we have freely received from the hand of God—applies, of course, not only to forgiveness; but to every other loving behavior-attitude listed in 1 Corinthians 13. Far from being a “behavior modification” chapter, Ryken shows, through simple anecdotes and the life of Christ, how to “put off” unloving human reactions and “put on” their godly opposites. His life, example, and personal involvement in ours is what transforms our attitudes and motivation towards others. In this practical and compassionately-written book, Ryken helps Christians of all stages see how walking in love is a natural consequence of living in the overflow of God’s intense, personal, and active love for the believer.
This review was first published on The Biblical Counseling Coalition's website: http://biblicalcounselingcoalition.or...
April 9, 2021
I said about the book that I finished yesterday, that it was one of those books that it was important to read and put into practice. This book is another one of those. It is a great book on love. It takes the reader through the love chapter of the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13, and then takes us to the life of Jesus in the gospels and shows us the perfect example of that love. It then admonishes us to love that way.
I recommend this book to any Christian who wants to be more like his Savior especially in this most important area of love.
I recommend this book to any Christian who wants to be more like his Savior especially in this most important area of love.
September 26, 2017
This was a very convicting read. I do not love the way Jesus loves, but I want to. I love how Ryken presented 1 Corinthians 13 with examples of how Jesus's love is "patient, kind, not irritable, not self seeking, ect..."
This would be fun to read in a small group setting, as there is a great study guide provided at the end of the book.
This would be fun to read in a small group setting, as there is a great study guide provided at the end of the book.
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June 16, 2023Ryken breaks down the elements of 1 Corinthians 13, showing how each of the characteristics of love describes Jesus and encouraging the Christian reader to exemplify their Savior in these ways. Filled with beautiful examples and stories, this book makes several connections to the gospels that deepened my thinking of Christ’s care for me through his life, suffering and death.
August 2, 2019
Excellent exposition of 1 Corinthians 13:4-11. Ryken is a man of intelligence, obviously, but also of great spiritual maturity and affection for God and for people. He has a great way of getting across the profound meaning of this passage and others as they relate to it.
April 3, 2019
Practical, helpful
March 16, 2014
In short, the book is inspiring in a theological sense, but I was hoping to see more wisdom on how to apply these principles to complex situations. To be fair, the book does not purport to be a relationship help or conflict resolution text. But I had hoped these topics would be addressed more thoroughly since they are interwoven throughout our attempts to love others.
The book examines each phrase of 1 Corinthians 13, "The Love Chapter," and shows how Jesus exemplified it in his life. A common, well-deserved praise of this book is that Ryken inspires the reader to pursue and exude this perfect love but does not condemn the inevitable failure to do so perfectly.
What I missed most is a discussion on the wisdom and discernment needed to properly apply these principles. Taken in isolation, "love is not self-seeking" and "love bears all things" could be misconstrued to mean you should not deny requests that others make of you. Especially because Ryken highlights times when Jesus ministered to crowds and individuals when his disciples were clearly tired and preferred not to do so. He used this juxtaposition to show perfect love in action, which gave and ministered, in contrast to fleshly selfishness, which wanted to give in to hunger and exhaustion.
However, I wanted to see the more complete picture which could encompass self care that is not "self-seeking" and instances in which one can lovingly say 'no,' which would not be condemned as an unloving 'refusal to bear' the situation or request. Several important examples of such come to mind from Jesus' ministry. For example, Jesus often withdrew from needy crowds to pray, and he slipped away from people who wanted to make him king. Looking through a lens of wisdom, the reader may understand that when Jesus denies a request in these instances, it is a loving action because he is following the larger plan for salvation of mankind instead. So the element I was hoping to see in the book is how to determine what a loving response is in a particular situation; metaphorically whether to 'give and minister' or to 'withdraw and pray.'
Ryken partly acknowledges the idea of a loving ‘no’ when he states, “Of course there are times when mercy itself teaches us to say no to a request for help, because it will only fuel a destructive addiction or a life-impoverishing dependency.” However, he does not elaborate on how to recognize that situation. Nor does he acknowledge other situations in which it’s wisest to say no, possibly even to good things like ministry opportunities, such as if the request conflicts with your calling and ability or resources.
Similarly, in the chapter on “enduring all things,” Ryken gives many powerful examples of people who suffered or died for the sake of the gospel. He briefly adds, “This is not to say…that it is wrong to protect ourselves in godly ways from sinful abuse.” But again, he does not elaborate on how to distinguish when to protect ourselves and when to endure the suffering.
To use a less extreme example, throughout the book I wondered how this teaching worked for its original audience in Corinth and by extension, how it can work properly in the church today. In Corinth, Christians were boasting about their spiritual gifts and interrupting each other in church. Let us suppose that a man is speaking in tongues and another man interrupts him, announcing that he is going to prophesy. The man interrupting is clearly not acting in love, and so far, the interrupted man has done nothing wrong. In order to count the interrupter as ‘better than himself’ and not perpetuate a cycle of unloving acts, should the interrupted man yield the floor? In this scenario, the loudest and most selfish speakers dominate the assembly. Or should the interrupted man tactfully assert his right to continue speaking based on Paul’s guidelines for church proceedings? This option is not described in Ryken’s book. What’s more, logically it seems as though this option would lead straight back into the cyclical chaos and factions that Paul was trying to address in this letter unless the interrupter was sufficiently mature and wise to receive the rebuke well in that moment. And given that the interrupter was acting pridefully and unlovingly in the first place, there is a good chance that he may not be a mature believer. I see this scenario as a micro-example of how congregations and even denominations divide.
I would have loved to have some insight from Ryken on how perfect love applies to these more complex situations. For those seeking practical insight on how to handle complex situations in a godly way, I highly recommend Cloud and Townsend's book Boundaries.
The book examines each phrase of 1 Corinthians 13, "The Love Chapter," and shows how Jesus exemplified it in his life. A common, well-deserved praise of this book is that Ryken inspires the reader to pursue and exude this perfect love but does not condemn the inevitable failure to do so perfectly.
What I missed most is a discussion on the wisdom and discernment needed to properly apply these principles. Taken in isolation, "love is not self-seeking" and "love bears all things" could be misconstrued to mean you should not deny requests that others make of you. Especially because Ryken highlights times when Jesus ministered to crowds and individuals when his disciples were clearly tired and preferred not to do so. He used this juxtaposition to show perfect love in action, which gave and ministered, in contrast to fleshly selfishness, which wanted to give in to hunger and exhaustion.
However, I wanted to see the more complete picture which could encompass self care that is not "self-seeking" and instances in which one can lovingly say 'no,' which would not be condemned as an unloving 'refusal to bear' the situation or request. Several important examples of such come to mind from Jesus' ministry. For example, Jesus often withdrew from needy crowds to pray, and he slipped away from people who wanted to make him king. Looking through a lens of wisdom, the reader may understand that when Jesus denies a request in these instances, it is a loving action because he is following the larger plan for salvation of mankind instead. So the element I was hoping to see in the book is how to determine what a loving response is in a particular situation; metaphorically whether to 'give and minister' or to 'withdraw and pray.'
Ryken partly acknowledges the idea of a loving ‘no’ when he states, “Of course there are times when mercy itself teaches us to say no to a request for help, because it will only fuel a destructive addiction or a life-impoverishing dependency.” However, he does not elaborate on how to recognize that situation. Nor does he acknowledge other situations in which it’s wisest to say no, possibly even to good things like ministry opportunities, such as if the request conflicts with your calling and ability or resources.
Similarly, in the chapter on “enduring all things,” Ryken gives many powerful examples of people who suffered or died for the sake of the gospel. He briefly adds, “This is not to say…that it is wrong to protect ourselves in godly ways from sinful abuse.” But again, he does not elaborate on how to distinguish when to protect ourselves and when to endure the suffering.
To use a less extreme example, throughout the book I wondered how this teaching worked for its original audience in Corinth and by extension, how it can work properly in the church today. In Corinth, Christians were boasting about their spiritual gifts and interrupting each other in church. Let us suppose that a man is speaking in tongues and another man interrupts him, announcing that he is going to prophesy. The man interrupting is clearly not acting in love, and so far, the interrupted man has done nothing wrong. In order to count the interrupter as ‘better than himself’ and not perpetuate a cycle of unloving acts, should the interrupted man yield the floor? In this scenario, the loudest and most selfish speakers dominate the assembly. Or should the interrupted man tactfully assert his right to continue speaking based on Paul’s guidelines for church proceedings? This option is not described in Ryken’s book. What’s more, logically it seems as though this option would lead straight back into the cyclical chaos and factions that Paul was trying to address in this letter unless the interrupter was sufficiently mature and wise to receive the rebuke well in that moment. And given that the interrupter was acting pridefully and unlovingly in the first place, there is a good chance that he may not be a mature believer. I see this scenario as a micro-example of how congregations and even denominations divide.
I would have loved to have some insight from Ryken on how perfect love applies to these more complex situations. For those seeking practical insight on how to handle complex situations in a godly way, I highly recommend Cloud and Townsend's book Boundaries.
February 16, 2012
Valentines day is over and are wallets are lighter having spent all our disposable income on chocolate (either as gifts or to console ourselves) it is time think about what love really is. No, not that sentimental saccharine sort of love we just got marketed at us. Not Romance with all its ‘happily ever after’ promise but the sacrificial, lay down your life sort of love.
If you want to know what love is, look at the so-called love chapter has to say:
“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13, NIV)
Phil Ryken says that despite the frequency that this chapter is read at weddings, it is talking about a much deeper and more sacrificial love than mere Eros. It is describing Agape–God’s love!
Ryken, who is the current president of Wheaton College and the former president of Philadelphia’s Tenth Presbyterian Church (Presbyterians love ‘order’ so like to name their churches after numbers) wrote this book to examine and explicate the sort of love Corinthians describes. The Contents of this book stem from Ryken’s last sermon series at Tenth. He preached on 1 Cor. 13 in ways that were both sensitive to its context within Paul’s letter to Corinth and with an eye to the ways that Jesus Christ embodies the sort of love described. Paul wrote this chapter in the context of urging the Corinthians on to mutual care and consideration (and yes, Presbyterians, order as well). But the sort of love that they were being exhorted to had been exemplified in Christ. Thus each chapter of this book explores one of the descriptive phrases in 1 Cor. 13, illustrates how Jesus’ love embodies it par excellence and challenges us to live out this sort of love in our lives.
This is an impassioned plea for Christians to grow in our love for each other and our world; this is a book which honors Christ for the love that he poured out on our behalf. I found Ryken’s writing engaging and his exegesis sound. He writes from a firmly Reformed perspective (PCA) and so often quotes fellow Reformed authors, but also engaged with patristic sources like John Chrysostom and consulted the best Corinthian commentaries through out (Fee and Thistleton). The Christological lens helps me understand and properly apply this passage to my life. If I just read about the quality of love I am supposed to have, I feel easily discouraged because I know I don’t measure up. By reading the love chapter Christologically, Ryken shows that we are called to love in sacrificial and compelling ways because that is how we have been loved by Jesus. This puts things in perspective, and growing in love is growing in our understanding of Grace.
The book is divided into 12 chapters (each focusing on Corinthians and an accompanying passage) and ‘a study guide’ which provides questions on each chapter. The study guide makes this an ideal book to read as a small group because the questions do not just focus on content, but on how we can live out this sort of love. This book will enlarge your vision of Christ’s love and challenge you to live fruitful lives.
Thank you to Crossway for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for this review. This is my fair and honest review.
If you want to know what love is, look at the so-called love chapter has to say:
“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13, NIV)
Phil Ryken says that despite the frequency that this chapter is read at weddings, it is talking about a much deeper and more sacrificial love than mere Eros. It is describing Agape–God’s love!
Ryken, who is the current president of Wheaton College and the former president of Philadelphia’s Tenth Presbyterian Church (Presbyterians love ‘order’ so like to name their churches after numbers) wrote this book to examine and explicate the sort of love Corinthians describes. The Contents of this book stem from Ryken’s last sermon series at Tenth. He preached on 1 Cor. 13 in ways that were both sensitive to its context within Paul’s letter to Corinth and with an eye to the ways that Jesus Christ embodies the sort of love described. Paul wrote this chapter in the context of urging the Corinthians on to mutual care and consideration (and yes, Presbyterians, order as well). But the sort of love that they were being exhorted to had been exemplified in Christ. Thus each chapter of this book explores one of the descriptive phrases in 1 Cor. 13, illustrates how Jesus’ love embodies it par excellence and challenges us to live out this sort of love in our lives.
This is an impassioned plea for Christians to grow in our love for each other and our world; this is a book which honors Christ for the love that he poured out on our behalf. I found Ryken’s writing engaging and his exegesis sound. He writes from a firmly Reformed perspective (PCA) and so often quotes fellow Reformed authors, but also engaged with patristic sources like John Chrysostom and consulted the best Corinthian commentaries through out (Fee and Thistleton). The Christological lens helps me understand and properly apply this passage to my life. If I just read about the quality of love I am supposed to have, I feel easily discouraged because I know I don’t measure up. By reading the love chapter Christologically, Ryken shows that we are called to love in sacrificial and compelling ways because that is how we have been loved by Jesus. This puts things in perspective, and growing in love is growing in our understanding of Grace.
The book is divided into 12 chapters (each focusing on Corinthians and an accompanying passage) and ‘a study guide’ which provides questions on each chapter. The study guide makes this an ideal book to read as a small group because the questions do not just focus on content, but on how we can live out this sort of love. This book will enlarge your vision of Christ’s love and challenge you to live fruitful lives.
Thank you to Crossway for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for this review. This is my fair and honest review.
April 29, 2012
Here’s a great book review for a Sunday. I hope you will be as intrigued as I was to read this book.
Loving the Way Jesus Loves by Phil Ryken is a fresh look at what is commonly known as “The Love Chapter,” I Corinthians 13. Although the passage is most famous for being read at weddings, it was not written specifically to describe a romantic relationship.
As Ryken breaks it down, the chapter “establishes the necessity of love (vv 1-3), sketches the character of love (vv. 4-7), and celebrates the permanence of love (vv. 8-13) as the greatest of God’s gifts.” And what better way to illustrate love’s characteristics than to look at the way Jesus lived and loved others during His time on earth. To do this, Ryken takes each description of what love is or isn’t from the chapter and exposits on its meaning using examples from Jesus’ life on earth as portrayed in the Gospels.
One of my favorite parts from this book was an exercise in which you read verses 4-8 aloud but replace the word “love” with your own name. Can you do it? Can you say, “(Trish) is kind, (Trish) does not envy, (Trish) never fails.” It’s surprisingly difficult to do!
Then read it again with Jesus’ name in place of the word “love.” Much easier, huh? “Jesus does not seek his own, Jesus is not provoked, Jesus thinks no evil.” Ryken suggests that by examining the way Jesus loved in light of this chapter, we will be more able to understand the love we have been shown and how we can live it out in our own lives towards others.
I appreciated the solid writing and insightful approach to the subject matter. I highly recommend this book for anyone wanting to love more like Jesus.
Loving the Way Jesus Loves by Phil Ryken is a fresh look at what is commonly known as “The Love Chapter,” I Corinthians 13. Although the passage is most famous for being read at weddings, it was not written specifically to describe a romantic relationship.
As Ryken breaks it down, the chapter “establishes the necessity of love (vv 1-3), sketches the character of love (vv. 4-7), and celebrates the permanence of love (vv. 8-13) as the greatest of God’s gifts.” And what better way to illustrate love’s characteristics than to look at the way Jesus lived and loved others during His time on earth. To do this, Ryken takes each description of what love is or isn’t from the chapter and exposits on its meaning using examples from Jesus’ life on earth as portrayed in the Gospels.
One of my favorite parts from this book was an exercise in which you read verses 4-8 aloud but replace the word “love” with your own name. Can you do it? Can you say, “(Trish) is kind, (Trish) does not envy, (Trish) never fails.” It’s surprisingly difficult to do!
Then read it again with Jesus’ name in place of the word “love.” Much easier, huh? “Jesus does not seek his own, Jesus is not provoked, Jesus thinks no evil.” Ryken suggests that by examining the way Jesus loved in light of this chapter, we will be more able to understand the love we have been shown and how we can live it out in our own lives towards others.
I appreciated the solid writing and insightful approach to the subject matter. I highly recommend this book for anyone wanting to love more like Jesus.
October 29, 2013
Since 1 Corinthians 13 is one of my least favorite (=most guilt-inducing) chapters of Scripture, I wanted to read this book for a challenge. For some reason, though, I never particularly got into the book. I like Ryken's approach -- for each of Paul's definitions of "love," he does some basic exegesis, draws an illustration from the life of Jesus, and then applies it to the lives of Christians. His goal throughout is to demonstrate that Jesus is the only one who perfectly fulfills the definitions of love, and to drive us back to Jesus repeatedly as we are faced with our own failures to love. Only by knowing the love of Jesus in a deeper way can we be empowered to love others ourselves.
This Christ-focused reading of 1 Corinthians 13 wasn't new to me, but for someone who has never heard it before, I would think it could be very liberating and encouraging. Even though a lot of the book didn't stick with me (because of the writing style? I'm not sure why), I did find the "Love Waits" (love is patient/long-suffering) chapter beautiful. Ryken describes the unhurried way in which Jesus loves us, just as He tarried when He knew that Lazarus was dying, because He knew that by restoring Lazarus to life, He would be able to glorify God in a more complete way. "The delays of Christ turn out to be the delays of love." (81) He also makes the point, somewhere, that our impatience with others often says more about our need for sanctification than about our concern for what God is doing in them.
This Christ-focused reading of 1 Corinthians 13 wasn't new to me, but for someone who has never heard it before, I would think it could be very liberating and encouraging. Even though a lot of the book didn't stick with me (because of the writing style? I'm not sure why), I did find the "Love Waits" (love is patient/long-suffering) chapter beautiful. Ryken describes the unhurried way in which Jesus loves us, just as He tarried when He knew that Lazarus was dying, because He knew that by restoring Lazarus to life, He would be able to glorify God in a more complete way. "The delays of Christ turn out to be the delays of love." (81) He also makes the point, somewhere, that our impatience with others often says more about our need for sanctification than about our concern for what God is doing in them.
October 31, 2013
I truly loved this book. I have, over the last few years, really felt a pull to worry less and love more. To get angry less, and love more. I haven't know exactly how to do that, and the emotional side gets to be a challenge. I mean, really, we are human - we are selfish and grumpy and short-tempered and so over those traits interfere with our ability to love well, to love genuinely, to love honestly, to love unconditionally. I found this book to be uplifting, challenging, encouraging, and most importantly, easy to read. :) It will be a book that I will go back to often to read excerpts, or chapters, or the whole thing as a reminder of who I want to be and how I want to live.
One of the reasons this book was so fulfilling is because the extent to which the PURPOSE of living and loving as Jesus did was driven home repeatedly. The fact that Jesus was put on this Earth to love EVERYONE, and die a horrifically loveless, painful (and that would be my biggest understatement EVER) death in order that we may live with constant failures and heart aches, and have it all forgiven.... it just made me hurt and be joy-filled, all at once, from the inside out. The way Ryken makes it so real, so now, so always.... I couldn't put it down. I couldn't help but REALLY engage with it and let it feed my soul to help me continue to become.
Obviously, I highly recommend it. And, if you read it, I would LOVE to know your thoughts!
One of the reasons this book was so fulfilling is because the extent to which the PURPOSE of living and loving as Jesus did was driven home repeatedly. The fact that Jesus was put on this Earth to love EVERYONE, and die a horrifically loveless, painful (and that would be my biggest understatement EVER) death in order that we may live with constant failures and heart aches, and have it all forgiven.... it just made me hurt and be joy-filled, all at once, from the inside out. The way Ryken makes it so real, so now, so always.... I couldn't put it down. I couldn't help but REALLY engage with it and let it feed my soul to help me continue to become.
Obviously, I highly recommend it. And, if you read it, I would LOVE to know your thoughts!
September 18, 2012
This is excellent. Ryken takes an wonderful approach to expositing 1 Corinthians 13, and illustrates each characteristic of love from the life of Jesus. ("Jesus is patient and kind, Jesus does not envy or boast, Jesus is not arrogant or rude . . . Jesus is not irritable or resentful" etc.")
I've often thought - "I would learn so much better and so much faster if I knew someone who exemplified this love, or this virtue, or this skill" - or anything else - and who better exemplifies love than Love Himself? Ryken develops these traits richly: there's nothing simplistic about the way he teaches, but he's very readable. You can easily read a chapter in a sitting.
I read it through by myself, but this would be an excellent book to read in company, especially with people you live close to - siblings, roommates, boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, children, fellow church members.
Highly recommended.
P.S. for those of you who love the visual arts, each of these chapters is prefaced with a black-and-white photograph from Alicia Hansen of Gene Schmidt's "Lovetown PA" project (http://www.aliciahansen.com/index.php...)
I've often thought - "I would learn so much better and so much faster if I knew someone who exemplified this love, or this virtue, or this skill" - or anything else - and who better exemplifies love than Love Himself? Ryken develops these traits richly: there's nothing simplistic about the way he teaches, but he's very readable. You can easily read a chapter in a sitting.
I read it through by myself, but this would be an excellent book to read in company, especially with people you live close to - siblings, roommates, boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, children, fellow church members.
Highly recommended.
P.S. for those of you who love the visual arts, each of these chapters is prefaced with a black-and-white photograph from Alicia Hansen of Gene Schmidt's "Lovetown PA" project (http://www.aliciahansen.com/index.php...)
August 17, 2015
In this book, Phil Ryken chronologically takes vignettes from the life of Jesus and applies them to 1 Corinthians 13:3-8. I found this to be a very edifying and compelling way to look at this passage. Ryken points out that this passage is about God's love for us; we can only live it out because of Christ and the way in which he lived and died a life of love and so it is only by looking at the life of Christ that we can truly understand what it means to have a love that is patient, kind, unselfish, etc.
I both enjoyed the book very much and was convicted by it. It can be used as a Bible study, but is also beneficial to simply read through.
After I wrote my review, I read some others reviews. One person commented on how well Ryken combined grace and conviction into this book; I heartily agree that he did this very well.
I both enjoyed the book very much and was convicted by it. It can be used as a Bible study, but is also beneficial to simply read through.
After I wrote my review, I read some others reviews. One person commented on how well Ryken combined grace and conviction into this book; I heartily agree that he did this very well.
Read
February 5, 2017Loved the book; a good, short and interesting read. I particularly appreciated the expository of each verse, focusing in depth on a portion of scripture and drawing out the implications of each verse and the different characterisations of love. Well worth your time for anyone wanting to be more loving.
September 17, 2014
A great book digging in to the love chapter (1 Corinthians 13). Ryken spends a decent chunk of time exploring each description of love.. Patient, kind, not self seeking.. Its great to think so specifically on a particular aspect of love. The best thing about the book was definitely the way in which Ryken highlighted the love of Jesus at each point. His love is patient, his love never fails, his love is not self seeking. This focus meant that the call to for us to love never felt like a call to just try harder but to love in joyful response to Jesus love for us. Worth a read.
February 22, 2012
Solid look at 1 Corinthians 13 in connection with examples of Jesus' love as witnessed in the gospels. Ryken provided interesting quotes from Smedes, Lewis, Augustine, Carmichael, and many others. Why then did I fall asleep so often? Why then did those in our study group mention the same problem? This book is very basic. If you are a new Christian or unfamiliar with the Bible, get it and study it. For the rest of you, stick with practicing 1 Corinthians 13.
July 23, 2016
Insightfully combining 1 Corinthians 13 with the life of Jesus, Ryken shows how Christ was the living embodiment of love and thus the supreme example that His people are to follow as they love others in His name. Ryken’s skill is his ability to unveil how Scripture weaves these themes together, especially as displayed in the gospel accounts of Jesus. An immensely helpful (and often convicting) book, reminding Christians that love is what identifies Jesus’ disciples.
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