Maybe It Should Have Been a Three Iron: My Year as Caddie for the World's 438th Best Golfer Paperback – June 12, 1999

by Lawrence Donegan

The opening sentences of Donegan's delightful romp through the European golf world sets its "The first thing to understand about caddying is it's not brain surgery. It's more complicated than that," and the next couple of hundred pages prove the point. Put a hapless golf fanatic like Donegan, a journalist by trade, on the bag of another hapless golf fanatic-- British pro Ross Drummond, who would probably be more successful in another line of work--and the results, no matter how hard they try to play it straight, are as wayward as a duck hook off the tee. Funnier than writer Michael Bamberger's trenchant recounting of his exploits carrying Peter Teravainen's bag in To the Linksland, Donegan's chronicle is a self-effacing romp from beginning to end, though some hard-learned lessons manage to creep in along the "I was an amateur, crap at it..., just like millions of others. So what? It didn't mean I couldn't have a good time making a fool of myself... What was it A.A. Milne had said about golf? It was the best game in the world to be bad at. Let that be my motto." Of course, it was Milne who also happened to create Eeyore. -- Jeff Silverman

Genres: Sports, Memoir

Paperback

First published June 1, 1998

Reviews

[Tony · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lawrence Donegan, a Brit reporter for the Guardian, spent a year caddying for the world's 438th best player. Donegan was a lousy caddy for a journeyman pro, who spent 19 years on the European Tour without a win.

I will not say the book will change your life, but it will make your world a happier place. Lawrence, as he likes to be call, no Americanized Larry for him, can tell a joke or five. Here's a random sample of his wit as he writes about the inspiration to build a championship quality golf course in Dubai.

"It wakes a vivid imagination to build a two-hundred-acre golf course in the middle of the desert and Sheikh Mohammed appeared to have one of those. He said he had got the idea for the Emirates after visiting the eighteen-hole lay-out in the middle of Doncaster racecourse. I have seen both and can confirm any similarities begin and end with the description 'golf course'. "

I've read a few golf books, the usual tales of the tour told by caddies and pros alike, but have always felt the books were written to glorify the writer and the sport. Donegan harbors no such agenda. Like many reporters Donegan is a cynical man, who says what's on his mind, unworried about making friends. For example, after Ivan Lendl got a sponsor exemption to play in a Tour event and Donegan saw him putting on the practice green. Donegan offered to carry Lendl's bag for the tournament. After Lendl rebuffed the hapless caddy, telling Donegan to get lost so he could work on his puttting, Donegan replied that Lendl needed the work.

Because Donegan doesn't need to make friends, he is honest about his relation with his pro and the tour. Someone who wanted to have a continuing relationship with the tour wouldn't be as cutting with his tongue, much to our delight.

It's an worthwhile and entertaining read.

[Ellison · Rating 3 out of 5]

A guy hires himself out to caddie for a low-ranked golfer on the European tour, he shares insights and adventures. Swearing. No pix and no index.