How to Find the Love of Your Life

by Ben Dominitz

You Can Find Your SoulmateWe all know the shortcomings of the dating-and-mating game. It is a frustrating ritual that few of us have the time or patience for the fear of rejection; the jerks; the awkward, artificial conversations; that sinking, “what-was-I-thinking” feeling afterward. Now there is a better way! In this groundbreaking book, Ben Dominitz shows you how to take control of your romantic destiny. You’ll learn how to plan an exciting and highly effective campaign that will lead you straight to the love of your life. You’ll ·Why you should forget about chance encounters, singles bars, and parties as a way to meet your mate ·An incredibly effective alternative to the dreaded first date ·How to overcome men’s fear of intimacy—a must-read section for both men and women ·How you can use an old-fashioned idea to meet an unlimited number of available men or women ·Seven steps to greater intimacy in a new relationship ·And much, much, more! This book is to singles as What Color is Your Parachute? is to job hunters. “Finally, there is a book that offers genuine help. It’s both compelling and highly effective. . . . I recommend it enthusiastically to anyone in search of long-lasting love.”—Alan Loy McGinnis, Ph.D., author of The Friendship Factor

Paperback

First published January 25, 1989

Reviews

[Paul Lyons]

It's not easy to write a critical assessment of a self-help book, especially one as good as Ben Dominitz's "How to Find the Love of Your Life." The reason being that my reading experience and rate of enjoyment of such a book is only of marginal consideration as compared to the quality of instruction and practical help that such a book provides. Thus, no matter how personally complex it was for me to take in Ben Dominitz's sage wisdom and well-researched guidance, I can not help but acknowledge that "How to Find the Love of Your Life" is an invaluable tome for singles everywhere.

Originally published in the late 1990s, "How to Find the Love of Your Life" takes the reader by the hand, gently and intelligently, and guides the reader through each important step, discovery and realization of what could happen if one dedicates oneself to (at least) a ninety-day, pro-active program of self-examination, written exercises, psychological education and as a well thought out campaign of reaching out to select people you have encountered throughout your entire life (in addition to close friends and family) who can refer you to people outside of your network who might be single.

The prospect is awkward, yes? But so is dating! Considering the inane Wild West of dating apps, singles bars and random parties, Ben Dominitz's suggested, pro-active plan of attack through a concentrated campaign is nothing short of brilliant, and better still...sensible. Why leave things to chance with your lackluster love life when you could just follows the steps found in "How to Find the Love of Your Life," weed out the muck, better understand your needs and wants, and indeed..."Find the Love of Your Life."

By the way, those looking for a fight, and wish to zero on the author's seemingly exclusive heterosexual take on finding love in the world should relax, okay? Ben Dominitz choose to use the shorthand term "POS" for "People of Opposite Sex" in referring to all things romance and dating, and "PSS" for "People of the Same Sex" for friendship only. Tomato-Tohmahtoa. Any reader who is a proud member of the LGBTQ community can still learn and get something very valuable out of reading this book.

It's true, I do wish I had read "How to Find the Love of Your Life" when it was published in 1997. Reading the book today was sometimes painful for me because I have in the past made just about every single mistake that Ben Dominitz clearly illustrates in his book. Had I read "How to Find the Love of Your Life"back then, I am certain I would be with the love of my life right now. Instead, I am in a position far below the book's standards, hoping to one day to be in a position to utilize and enact upon the type of successful love campaign found in this book. But enough about me. If you are single, "How to Find the Love of Your Life" is a must-read.

[Megan Dunakey]

Browsing the Half Price Books clearance section is a hobby of mine and I happened to come across this book. I thought, “Sure! Why not?” This book offers a lot of great information for those looking for love. During the first third of the book, it makes you do a lot of writing and reflection which was tough but overall worth it.

The only thing is that it was written a little over 30 years ago 😂 while many things written in the book are still applicable, several are not. Mainly in the way that we communicate with each other. And honestly it just showed me how we as a society have drifted away from community thinking.