The Monte-Cristo Cover-Up (originally titled It Can’t Always Be Caviar and originally published in German) is no longer in print, and I became aware of it through a friend who purchased a copy for me as a surprise gift. This is a novel that falls in the espionage genre, but it’s not your ordinary spy novel. The tone of it can be gleaned by a caption provided below the title on an inside page of the book: “The fabulously daring adventures and exquisite cooking recipes of the involuntary secret agent Thomas Lieven.”
Yes, you read right…cooking recipes. I’ve never read anything like this, and taken as a whole, the novel is quite funny. The premise is that Thomas Lieven, with ties to the world of high finance in England, gets mixed up with the spy agencies of no less than Germany, France, England, and the United States during World War II through various mishaps beyond his control- he in a sense becomes a spy for each of the agencies, and thus, I suppose, a quadruple agent!
Thomas is very refined in his tastes and is an exquisite cook, and that’s where the recipes come in. During various critical moments in the story, Thomas volunteers his culinary expertise, and the actual recipes of the meals utilized to get him out of various jams are provided at those points in the story. It took me a while to notice that after each of the recipes, a caption is provided to indicate the significance of the meal: “During this meal Thomas Lieven became a secret agent,” or “This meal revolutionized French monetary policy.” Thus, there is a lighthearted feel to the story; it’s funny, but it doesn’t go so far as to be a spoof (thankfully).
In fact, parts of it are so funny that it caused me to laugh out loud, which, for me, I’ll be honest, is no easy feat. Here’s an example. When Thomas was recruited into one of the spy agencies, the recruiter stated, “I must insist on your attending a training course for secret agents I’ll take care to see that you are transferred to one of our special camps.” Thomas was packed into a truck, with blinds drawn to exclude all light, and hauled away on an aching five hour journey. When he exited the truck, he found himself in a dreary place with barbed wire and a dilapidated building, with a small forest behind it. While he was waiting to be escorted into the guarded building, an old peasant driving a little cart came past. “Got a long way to go still, grandpa?” Thomas asked. “A good two miles yet to St. Nicolas,” the man responded. “Where’s that, then?” Thomas continued. “Why, down there of course. Just before you get to Nancy.” The two guards then returned, and one explained: “We must apologize for having locked you up in that truck. We had strict orders to do it, as otherwise you might have found out where you are, and it’s absolutely essential for you not to know that.” “Aha,” said Thomas.
Of course one must suspend belief for this story, as too many things happen in such a short period of time, and Thomas can get himself out of a lot of jams. But it’s fun, sort of in the way Cary Grant was fun in Hitchcock’s North by Northwest. The passage about learning the art of secret codes, and the use of the book The Count of Monte Cristo to do so (the actual one, not to be confused with the Cristo book which is the subject of this review), was another hilarious moment in the book!
The Monte-Cristo Cover-Up is not for everyone, and it may be difficult to obtain given its out-of-print status. But if you’re looking for a little lighter fare and some comic relief, this may be just the book.