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Holding Still for as Long as Possible by Zoe Whittall
What is it like to grow into adulthood with the war on terror as your defining political memory, with SARS and Hurricane Katrina as your backdrop? In this robust, elegantly plotted, and ultimately life-affirming novel, Zoe Whittall presents a dazzling portrait of a generation we've rarely seen in literature -- the twenty-five-year olds who grew up on anti-anxiety meds, text-messaging each other truncated emotional reactions, unsure of what's public and what's private.Zoe Whittall fulfills the promise of her acclaimed first novel, Bottle Rocket Hearts, with this extraordinary novel set in Toronto's seedy-but-gentrifying Parkdale. Revolving around three interlocking lives, it offers, among other things, a detailed inside look at the work of paramedics, and entertaining celebrity gossip.
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First published September 15, 2009
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About the author
Zoe Whittall
19 books680 followers Zoe Whittall's latest novel, The Best Kind of People, spent 26 consecutive weeks on the Globe bestseller list, was shortlisted for the Giller Prize, was Indigo Best Book of the Year, Heather's Pick, Globe and Mail Best Book, Toronto Life Best Book of 2016, Walrus Magazine Best Book of 2016 . The film/TV rights have been optioned by Sarah Polley who will write and direct. She has two previous novels and three collections of poetry, and has written for the televisions shows Degrassi, Schitt's Creek, and The Baroness Von Sketch Show. She won the KM Hunter award for literature, and a Lamda Literary award for her second novel, Holding Still for as Long as Possible. Her debut, Bottle Rocket Hearts, was named one of the top ten novels of the decade by CBC Canada Reads, and one of the Best Books of 2007 by The Globe and Mail and Quill & Quire magazine. She has published three books of poetry, Precordial Thump, (exile, 08) The Best Ten Minutes of Your Life (McGilligan Books, 01) and The Emily Valentine Poems (Snare Books, 06.) The Globe and Mail called her "the cockiest, brashest, funniest, toughest, most life-affirming, elegant, scruffy, no-holds-barred writer to emerge from Montreal since Mordecai Richler…”. She was born in South Durham, Quebec, resided in Montreal during the early 1990s and has lived in Toronto since 1997.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 145 reviews
October 12, 2010
Me
I don't really pay much attention before I buy a book. I don't really know the process that gets me to pick one up. I do know some bits of it like if I put it on the pile I probably won't buy it till someone gives me crap about the pile being too high, and god knows when I'll read it. But if I'm walking along and I see something and I think, "God I really need that book" not only will I buy it but I'll probably start reading it right away (With the exception being if I think that 4 times in one day, then the 3 I don't immediately start sometimes get lost on my bookshelves.) I think I did read the back of this book I'm not sure. But upon starting it, I became aware that this was clearly queer fiction, I mean none of the main characters started as a man. I also started to feel like the book was trying extremely hard to manipulate my emotional responses, and well it wasn't working. I mean the book kept screaming "Be shocked" and I just wasn't.
Book
I wasn't trying to manipulate your emotions I just felt like things like sexual reassignment surgeries were shocking. I imagined this little housewife in rural kentuky picking me up and thinking "Wow you mean if I wanted to I could become a man". It just seemed like a romantic way to change lives.
Me
Well maybe I'm just too worldly for you book, but I don't think that sexual reassignment is shocking. I do think you romanticized it a bit more than you should have. You basically addressed Josh's sex life like sexual reassignment was the same as being born male, from my experience with transgender people I didn't get the feeling that was even remotely true.
Josh
I'm pretty sure it was just trying to respect my desire to be normal.
Me
then you shouldn't become the main character of a novel.
Roxy
I decided to be in the novel. I didn't have anything better to do that day and they were providing free beer. On some level most of this problem is my fault I mean everyone that ended up being in the novel was friends with me and I sort of pushed for that just because I like to be sort of a peripheral character who on some level is controlling the level of everyone else's anxiety. Jump little beans, jump!!.
Me
Seriously that's a bit cruel and really all this incestuous dating's a bit creepy aren't there any other gay women in toronto? for real. Is Billy here?
Roxy
she's been in her room the whole time. I don't know that she really feels like coming out.
Me
that's really too bad she's my favorite character, well her and Josh I love the way that they both are trying to get over their anxiety and become a different kind of person and the struggle to become yourself after you realize you aren't the person you were when you fell in love it's all very interesting. Although considering it I prefer Josh I mean he was more emotionally open and seemed like the more moral of the two characters.
Josh
Well thanks, I don't agree but I see what your saying. But I mean my job has really affected the way that I interact with the world and I think it has damaged a lot about me. I mean my sense of humor it just doesn't work right anymore and the flashbacks. I mean it's definitely tough.
Billy *walks out of her room wearing nothing and smoking a cigarette*
Amy
Hey this just isn't fair we can't help the things you are complaining about. I mean yeah we all date each other but if every time we found someone else think how many character names you would have to remember. It's just this novel is a very small world.
Me
You're one to talk.
I don't really pay much attention before I buy a book. I don't really know the process that gets me to pick one up. I do know some bits of it like if I put it on the pile I probably won't buy it till someone gives me crap about the pile being too high, and god knows when I'll read it. But if I'm walking along and I see something and I think, "God I really need that book" not only will I buy it but I'll probably start reading it right away (With the exception being if I think that 4 times in one day, then the 3 I don't immediately start sometimes get lost on my bookshelves.) I think I did read the back of this book I'm not sure. But upon starting it, I became aware that this was clearly queer fiction, I mean none of the main characters started as a man. I also started to feel like the book was trying extremely hard to manipulate my emotional responses, and well it wasn't working. I mean the book kept screaming "Be shocked" and I just wasn't.
Book
I wasn't trying to manipulate your emotions I just felt like things like sexual reassignment surgeries were shocking. I imagined this little housewife in rural kentuky picking me up and thinking "Wow you mean if I wanted to I could become a man". It just seemed like a romantic way to change lives.
Me
Well maybe I'm just too worldly for you book, but I don't think that sexual reassignment is shocking. I do think you romanticized it a bit more than you should have. You basically addressed Josh's sex life like sexual reassignment was the same as being born male, from my experience with transgender people I didn't get the feeling that was even remotely true.
Josh
I'm pretty sure it was just trying to respect my desire to be normal.
Me
then you shouldn't become the main character of a novel.
Roxy
I decided to be in the novel. I didn't have anything better to do that day and they were providing free beer. On some level most of this problem is my fault I mean everyone that ended up being in the novel was friends with me and I sort of pushed for that just because I like to be sort of a peripheral character who on some level is controlling the level of everyone else's anxiety. Jump little beans, jump!!.
Me
Seriously that's a bit cruel and really all this incestuous dating's a bit creepy aren't there any other gay women in toronto? for real. Is Billy here?
Roxy
she's been in her room the whole time. I don't know that she really feels like coming out.
Me
that's really too bad she's my favorite character, well her and Josh I love the way that they both are trying to get over their anxiety and become a different kind of person and the struggle to become yourself after you realize you aren't the person you were when you fell in love it's all very interesting. Although considering it I prefer Josh I mean he was more emotionally open and seemed like the more moral of the two characters.
Josh
Well thanks, I don't agree but I see what your saying. But I mean my job has really affected the way that I interact with the world and I think it has damaged a lot about me. I mean my sense of humor it just doesn't work right anymore and the flashbacks. I mean it's definitely tough.
Billy *walks out of her room wearing nothing and smoking a cigarette*
Amy
Hey this just isn't fair we can't help the things you are complaining about. I mean yeah we all date each other but if every time we found someone else think how many character names you would have to remember. It's just this novel is a very small world.
Me
You're one to talk.
Read
July 24, 2018(ETA par. at end)
this is a self-consciously 20-something book in which life is lived mostly at night -- people work during the day but their workdays seem unimportant -- in a drifty sort of way, fueled by extravagant quantities of alcohol, constant personal interaction (conducted in person or through text messages) and very little sleep. the 20-somethingness is conveyed, i take, by the choppiness of the narrative, the characters' restless sexual lives, their promiscuity, their great reliance on cell phones and most notably (as far as i am concerned) the bloody lack of sleep. when i was in my 20s i didn't do any of the things these people do except not sleep. if we had had cell phones then i would probably have died of sleeplessness and starvation.
all the characters are queer and while the book is obviously centered around this the characters hardly ever discuss it. when a girl starts dating a guy and a friend asks her if she's gone straight, the girl balks. you don't go straight or queer: you go where your heart and your lust take you.
what gives this novel its particular high-anxiety, strung-out atmosphere is, ostensibly, the fact that one of the protagonist, a transsexual called josh, works as a paramedic. the whole book feels lived out in a state of emergency, partly because it is (josh's work-life is discussed a lot) and partly because these old-young people's lives are a permanent state of emergency. billy, a 25-year-old ex-music-star (yes, in the second millennium people are exes at 25), is awfully agoraphobic, obsessive, and anxious. her whole existence is an extended attempt at keeping her devouring anxiety under control and under wraps.
these are not kids. these are people with a lot of life under their belts. they have seen death, illness, misery, their own fall from grace, and the sprouting and withering of lifelong relationships. they do not turn to their parents. they turn to each other, offering each other whatever faulty, cracked, weak solace they can.
since the book is set in toronto there is a pleasant sense of a lived-in city, of which one becomes aware every time bicycles are mentioned (a lot). the city, if nothing else, contains and sustains these aged kids, holds them steady, gives them a community.
i suspect this novel is successful in what it seeks to achieve, but i felt anxious the whole time i read it. it's hard to imagine a future for these queer kids and they themselves seem not to think in terms of a future. they are very much rooted in the present: the couches on which they are crashing, the jobs to which they need to show up, their love obsessions. they are also tortured by worry, jealousy, indecision. there is little redemption, no real trajectory. i wish at least one of them had felt some hope, a sense of direction; i wish there had been one genuine moment of simple, complete contentment, some happiness. but nope, it's sorrow and the burden of life from beginning to end, and while i'm sure there are young people who feel like this, i hope they are not too many.
the reason why the book ultimately didn't work for me, even though i gobbled it up and felt drawn to it, is that zoe whittall never quite tells us what is wrong. she intentionally stays out of the psychology of these characters, their histories, their inner conflicts. some lines here and there seem to suggest that psychological tensions are not something whittall believes in a whole lot: maybe it's all bio-chemistry, maybe it's simply the terrible anxiety of the times. but if you put a bunch of queer people in the narrow space of a novel, i want to see this queerness play a role in the happiness/unhappiness of the characters. we are not and i think we will never be in a "post" enough queer time that being queer plays no role in the tensions and stresses of young people.
this is a self-consciously 20-something book in which life is lived mostly at night -- people work during the day but their workdays seem unimportant -- in a drifty sort of way, fueled by extravagant quantities of alcohol, constant personal interaction (conducted in person or through text messages) and very little sleep. the 20-somethingness is conveyed, i take, by the choppiness of the narrative, the characters' restless sexual lives, their promiscuity, their great reliance on cell phones and most notably (as far as i am concerned) the bloody lack of sleep. when i was in my 20s i didn't do any of the things these people do except not sleep. if we had had cell phones then i would probably have died of sleeplessness and starvation.
all the characters are queer and while the book is obviously centered around this the characters hardly ever discuss it. when a girl starts dating a guy and a friend asks her if she's gone straight, the girl balks. you don't go straight or queer: you go where your heart and your lust take you.
what gives this novel its particular high-anxiety, strung-out atmosphere is, ostensibly, the fact that one of the protagonist, a transsexual called josh, works as a paramedic. the whole book feels lived out in a state of emergency, partly because it is (josh's work-life is discussed a lot) and partly because these old-young people's lives are a permanent state of emergency. billy, a 25-year-old ex-music-star (yes, in the second millennium people are exes at 25), is awfully agoraphobic, obsessive, and anxious. her whole existence is an extended attempt at keeping her devouring anxiety under control and under wraps.
these are not kids. these are people with a lot of life under their belts. they have seen death, illness, misery, their own fall from grace, and the sprouting and withering of lifelong relationships. they do not turn to their parents. they turn to each other, offering each other whatever faulty, cracked, weak solace they can.
since the book is set in toronto there is a pleasant sense of a lived-in city, of which one becomes aware every time bicycles are mentioned (a lot). the city, if nothing else, contains and sustains these aged kids, holds them steady, gives them a community.
i suspect this novel is successful in what it seeks to achieve, but i felt anxious the whole time i read it. it's hard to imagine a future for these queer kids and they themselves seem not to think in terms of a future. they are very much rooted in the present: the couches on which they are crashing, the jobs to which they need to show up, their love obsessions. they are also tortured by worry, jealousy, indecision. there is little redemption, no real trajectory. i wish at least one of them had felt some hope, a sense of direction; i wish there had been one genuine moment of simple, complete contentment, some happiness. but nope, it's sorrow and the burden of life from beginning to end, and while i'm sure there are young people who feel like this, i hope they are not too many.
the reason why the book ultimately didn't work for me, even though i gobbled it up and felt drawn to it, is that zoe whittall never quite tells us what is wrong. she intentionally stays out of the psychology of these characters, their histories, their inner conflicts. some lines here and there seem to suggest that psychological tensions are not something whittall believes in a whole lot: maybe it's all bio-chemistry, maybe it's simply the terrible anxiety of the times. but if you put a bunch of queer people in the narrow space of a novel, i want to see this queerness play a role in the happiness/unhappiness of the characters. we are not and i think we will never be in a "post" enough queer time that being queer plays no role in the tensions and stresses of young people.
January 9, 2014
This was a shallow, dull book, populated by superficial characters about whom I did not care. During the story's climax, I found it very easy to put this book down to do several hours of data entry, during which time I thought about the book exactly zero times.
The writing was occasionally very, very bad. My girlfriend and I had a good laugh over lines like this, "Even in Toronto, 1,791 km from New Orleans, people wore the after-effects of Hurricane Katrina on their faces like badly matched liquid foundation." What the fuck does that even mean?
In all, it read like a young adult novel you might give to a privileged queer teen who was self-important but not very bright.
The writing was occasionally very, very bad. My girlfriend and I had a good laugh over lines like this, "Even in Toronto, 1,791 km from New Orleans, people wore the after-effects of Hurricane Katrina on their faces like badly matched liquid foundation." What the fuck does that even mean?
In all, it read like a young adult novel you might give to a privileged queer teen who was self-important but not very bright.
February 26, 2011
OMG, where has this author been all my life? This book is epic! It's literally the only queer book I've ever read and enjoyed. I say this as a queer person; usually, the books that are written by and for our community do nothing for me, make me feel like my life is some sort of a cliche. This book is freaking great.
There's a long list of things I liked about this book. The narrative style isn't traditional or easy- there are three main characters, and they all take turns narrating- but Whittall is an incredibly talented and capable author, and she manages to pull it off. Each of the characters' voices rings true. You could open the book without knowing whose chapter you're on and know within a sentence or two who's narrating. Speaking of the characters- they're easy to relate to, yet realistic and complex. I don't want to get too spoiler-y, but it's a love triangle of sorts; usually in these types of stories it's easy to get sucked into the pattern of hating one or two of the characters, and rooting for the other two or one. Not here. It's easy to empathize with all three characters here, even though none of them are perfect, and even though I probably wouldn't like at least one of them if they were a part of my own community.
Also great? She doesn't play the characters' queerness for shock value, and she doesn't make it the central focus of their lives. Also, the transgender central character talks about his identity throughout the book, but he's not tortured by it, everyone else isn't obsessed with it; it just is who he is. Brilliant! I'm tired of reading gay/queer books where the main characters obsess over their identity. Who does that, anyway?
The climax/plot twist at the end would easily be cornball and irritating in another writer's hands, but Whittall handles it with ease and grace. Damn, this is a really, really good book. I couldn't put it down, and read it every second I had until I was finished with it. I even developed a crush on one of the characters, which is something I haven't done since high school. I keep asking myself: why hadn't I heard of Zoe Whittall until a few weeks ago? Why isn't the queer community all over this author? Is it because she's Canadian? Because if so, poor excuse. Get on it, queers of America! You won't be sorry!
There's a long list of things I liked about this book. The narrative style isn't traditional or easy- there are three main characters, and they all take turns narrating- but Whittall is an incredibly talented and capable author, and she manages to pull it off. Each of the characters' voices rings true. You could open the book without knowing whose chapter you're on and know within a sentence or two who's narrating. Speaking of the characters- they're easy to relate to, yet realistic and complex. I don't want to get too spoiler-y, but it's a love triangle of sorts; usually in these types of stories it's easy to get sucked into the pattern of hating one or two of the characters, and rooting for the other two or one. Not here. It's easy to empathize with all three characters here, even though none of them are perfect, and even though I probably wouldn't like at least one of them if they were a part of my own community.
Also great? She doesn't play the characters' queerness for shock value, and she doesn't make it the central focus of their lives. Also, the transgender central character talks about his identity throughout the book, but he's not tortured by it, everyone else isn't obsessed with it; it just is who he is. Brilliant! I'm tired of reading gay/queer books where the main characters obsess over their identity. Who does that, anyway?
The climax/plot twist at the end would easily be cornball and irritating in another writer's hands, but Whittall handles it with ease and grace. Damn, this is a really, really good book. I couldn't put it down, and read it every second I had until I was finished with it. I even developed a crush on one of the characters, which is something I haven't done since high school. I keep asking myself: why hadn't I heard of Zoe Whittall until a few weeks ago? Why isn't the queer community all over this author? Is it because she's Canadian? Because if so, poor excuse. Get on it, queers of America! You won't be sorry!
April 7, 2024
This was good but why was she cured of her anxiety and ocd at the end??????
I will say it was an interesting glimpse into early 2000s queer and trans culture.
I will say it was an interesting glimpse into early 2000s queer and trans culture.
June 8, 2012
So you feel like you should like Michelle Tea because her characters are like, young and working class and queer so you feel like you have so much in common you just have to like her books, but in reality she irritates you and makes you feel alienated and her writing style feels simultaneously drug-addled and pretentious? (I FUCKING SAID IT. FINALLY. THAT FEELS GREAT) Then you should read Zoe Whittall.
Zoe's characters are queer people in their mid-twenties, floating around between parties, shitty jobs with shitty bosses and relationships that sputter, start and die. There's a trans character but the whole book doesn't circle around the vortex of how awful the trans experience is. The characters ride bikes, go to bars and date ex-girlfriend's roommates. Pretty much only one of them has a real job (paramedic).
The setting and characters felt very familiar to me, and there was comfort in that. I felt validated, like yes, this generation of queers did happen and experience life in this way. I never feel that way. This book was entertaining and authentic and I would recommend to anyone interested in contemporary queer lit that doesn't suck.
Zoe's characters are queer people in their mid-twenties, floating around between parties, shitty jobs with shitty bosses and relationships that sputter, start and die. There's a trans character but the whole book doesn't circle around the vortex of how awful the trans experience is. The characters ride bikes, go to bars and date ex-girlfriend's roommates. Pretty much only one of them has a real job (paramedic).
The setting and characters felt very familiar to me, and there was comfort in that. I felt validated, like yes, this generation of queers did happen and experience life in this way. I never feel that way. This book was entertaining and authentic and I would recommend to anyone interested in contemporary queer lit that doesn't suck.
October 5, 2022
Don't mind meee I'm just adding a 4th star because I changed my mind
Not much happened in this book I think? But I liked spending time with the characters.
Not much happened in this book I think? But I liked spending time with the characters.
Read
April 15, 2023Consuming Whittall's books at a daily pace.
First of all, so neat because I didn't know this took place in my hometown. So, the references to Dufferin Mall, Honest Eds (RIP), Bloor St, Lakeshore, Manning, Sneaky Dee's..damn. I'm glad I am going back to visit soon. I'm also the same age as the main characters. I also didn't know it had an entirely queer cast of characters, which was a nice surprise.
Billy's perspective can be triggering for those prone to anxiety. Couldn't really breathe reading her first chapter. But I ended up really getting attached to her character.
Also, I know somebody who just got his paramedic training (Hi Lenny), so, it'll be interesting to see how similar his experience will be compared to Josh's. I liked the start of each Book, getting to see the snippets of peoples' lives through their emergencies.
It made me sad how Amy was thinking she was going to die, and called Josh, only Josh. And then Josh barely cared that she was alive. He even made a comment about Amy wearing the helmet instead of Billy. This is a woman he dated for five years and said was his best friend!!! Ugh!!!
It was interesting to see the similarities in their dissolving long-term relationships - neither couple really wanted to break up, but knew they weren't compatible anymore. I suppose that's congruent with the age - the difference I see between my 18 year old self and my 25 year old self is massive. She also did a good job of capturing how half of us are still figuring it out, while the others half are saving up to buy a house, have Big Official Jobs.
The Maria-and-Amy 'twist' was a bit too childish for me. Toronto's not that small, y'all. I liked Maria's character though.
And I want to be friends with Roxy!
Overall, really liked the book. Huge fan of her writing. I want to read more books focused on my age group.
First of all, so neat because I didn't know this took place in my hometown. So, the references to Dufferin Mall, Honest Eds (RIP), Bloor St, Lakeshore, Manning, Sneaky Dee's..damn. I'm glad I am going back to visit soon. I'm also the same age as the main characters. I also didn't know it had an entirely queer cast of characters, which was a nice surprise.
Billy's perspective can be triggering for those prone to anxiety. Couldn't really breathe reading her first chapter. But I ended up really getting attached to her character.
Also, I know somebody who just got his paramedic training (Hi Lenny), so, it'll be interesting to see how similar his experience will be compared to Josh's. I liked the start of each Book, getting to see the snippets of peoples' lives through their emergencies.
It made me sad how Amy was thinking she was going to die, and called Josh, only Josh. And then Josh barely cared that she was alive. He even made a comment about Amy wearing the helmet instead of Billy. This is a woman he dated for five years and said was his best friend!!! Ugh!!!
It was interesting to see the similarities in their dissolving long-term relationships - neither couple really wanted to break up, but knew they weren't compatible anymore. I suppose that's congruent with the age - the difference I see between my 18 year old self and my 25 year old self is massive. She also did a good job of capturing how half of us are still figuring it out, while the others half are saving up to buy a house, have Big Official Jobs.
The Maria-and-Amy 'twist' was a bit too childish for me. Toronto's not that small, y'all. I liked Maria's character though.
And I want to be friends with Roxy!
Overall, really liked the book. Huge fan of her writing. I want to read more books focused on my age group.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 9, 2020
This book was horrible. The only redeeming quality was that it was set in Toronto which was kind of cool
May 16, 2011
“YOU PROBABLY like to imagine your death the way it should be: You are old. By old, you mean ready to die. Resolved. You are in bed, with your mind intact and loved ones encircling you. Your regrets are few; your pain minimal. Your last words: golden.”
So opens a novel that is both timeless and contemporary, set in Toronto. If you suspect that this beginning does not foreshadow a serenely predictable death, you’d be right. This is a novel in which there’s always the possibility of violence and sudden endings. But it’s not set in a war zone, and the characters aren’t in their twilight years. They are in fact healthy, attractive, intelligent, club-going young adults for whom a thirtieth birthday is a major rite of passage. However, there is little stability in their world.
Josh, an FTM trans person, works as a paramedic, and his regular encounters with the extremes of human experience (including a rehearsal for a major general emergency) add poignancy to the more mundane scenes of daily life. Josh and his girlfriend Amy—who is bisexual, for lack of a better word—waste no time arguing or agonizing over the identity issues that divided the gay community in earlier decades. Josh is fully accepted by Amy’s upscale family. Amy, as a filmmaker, is accepted by a mixed crowd that includes other artsy types as well as Josh’s fellow medics.
In some ways, Josh and Amy and their friends are exactly what those who remember the Stonewall Riots of 1969 always hoped to see in the future: open-minded, pansexual, generous, free to express a range of sexual desires. They are capable of emotional commitment as well as guilt-free (but not reckless) casual hook-ups. Yet their lives are far from utopian. Terrorism, epidemics, climate change, and random violence give an apocalyptic tone to the culture of the youngest generation of adults. Text-messaging and the world of cyber-space have not replaced person-to-person contact—the year is 2005—but they have certainly complicated it.
Life for those who can’t really imagine living into middle age is shown to be no easier than it was for earlier generations. And the need for love and understanding is still a prime motivator of their behavior, as it is for everyone. The unraveling of the relationship between Josh and Amy is painful but fascinating to watch. After four years together, they both feel a sense of disconnect that is subtle at first; but, like a serious disease in the opening phase, it turns out to be incurable. In an early chapter, told from Amy’s viewpoint, they discuss their relationship:
Josh looked at me clutching my BlackBerry. “We’re so different,” he said. “Sometimes it still confounds me that we fell in love.”
“I know!” I said too loudly, like a hiccup.
“Although, when we first met, it seemed almost metaphysical, like we weren’t in control of it.”
“Otherworldly, for sure.”
As their differences expand the space between them, other people come into sharper focus. Their friend Roxy, described as a “community hub,” introduces Josh to Hilary, who now calls herself Billy, a 25-year-old has-been who was briefly famous as a singer at age sixteen. She has a past to live down, a few sad reminders of former wealth, and obsessive thought patterns that are an eerie parallel to the actual crises that comprise Josh’s work. Josh is irresistibly attracted to Billy, whose long-term girlfriend has run out of patience.
Alternating chapters are told from the viewpoints of Josh, Amy, Billy, and an anonymous narrator. All the characters seem equally believable, and all seem to deserve more happiness than they have at the moment. But like sunrise after a blizzard, happy outcomes appear after all. Holding Still is a hip, refreshing look at a generation that has been called post-feminist and could also be called “post-queer.” It takes place in a real city with actual street names and a recognizable nightlife. The author, whose first novel (Bottle Rocket Hearts) was named one of the best of 2007 by The Globe and Mail, Canada’s national newspaper, seems likely to have a long career in the literary mainstream.
So opens a novel that is both timeless and contemporary, set in Toronto. If you suspect that this beginning does not foreshadow a serenely predictable death, you’d be right. This is a novel in which there’s always the possibility of violence and sudden endings. But it’s not set in a war zone, and the characters aren’t in their twilight years. They are in fact healthy, attractive, intelligent, club-going young adults for whom a thirtieth birthday is a major rite of passage. However, there is little stability in their world.
Josh, an FTM trans person, works as a paramedic, and his regular encounters with the extremes of human experience (including a rehearsal for a major general emergency) add poignancy to the more mundane scenes of daily life. Josh and his girlfriend Amy—who is bisexual, for lack of a better word—waste no time arguing or agonizing over the identity issues that divided the gay community in earlier decades. Josh is fully accepted by Amy’s upscale family. Amy, as a filmmaker, is accepted by a mixed crowd that includes other artsy types as well as Josh’s fellow medics.
In some ways, Josh and Amy and their friends are exactly what those who remember the Stonewall Riots of 1969 always hoped to see in the future: open-minded, pansexual, generous, free to express a range of sexual desires. They are capable of emotional commitment as well as guilt-free (but not reckless) casual hook-ups. Yet their lives are far from utopian. Terrorism, epidemics, climate change, and random violence give an apocalyptic tone to the culture of the youngest generation of adults. Text-messaging and the world of cyber-space have not replaced person-to-person contact—the year is 2005—but they have certainly complicated it.
Life for those who can’t really imagine living into middle age is shown to be no easier than it was for earlier generations. And the need for love and understanding is still a prime motivator of their behavior, as it is for everyone. The unraveling of the relationship between Josh and Amy is painful but fascinating to watch. After four years together, they both feel a sense of disconnect that is subtle at first; but, like a serious disease in the opening phase, it turns out to be incurable. In an early chapter, told from Amy’s viewpoint, they discuss their relationship:
Josh looked at me clutching my BlackBerry. “We’re so different,” he said. “Sometimes it still confounds me that we fell in love.”
“I know!” I said too loudly, like a hiccup.
“Although, when we first met, it seemed almost metaphysical, like we weren’t in control of it.”
“Otherworldly, for sure.”
As their differences expand the space between them, other people come into sharper focus. Their friend Roxy, described as a “community hub,” introduces Josh to Hilary, who now calls herself Billy, a 25-year-old has-been who was briefly famous as a singer at age sixteen. She has a past to live down, a few sad reminders of former wealth, and obsessive thought patterns that are an eerie parallel to the actual crises that comprise Josh’s work. Josh is irresistibly attracted to Billy, whose long-term girlfriend has run out of patience.
Alternating chapters are told from the viewpoints of Josh, Amy, Billy, and an anonymous narrator. All the characters seem equally believable, and all seem to deserve more happiness than they have at the moment. But like sunrise after a blizzard, happy outcomes appear after all. Holding Still is a hip, refreshing look at a generation that has been called post-feminist and could also be called “post-queer.” It takes place in a real city with actual street names and a recognizable nightlife. The author, whose first novel (Bottle Rocket Hearts) was named one of the best of 2007 by The Globe and Mail, Canada’s national newspaper, seems likely to have a long career in the literary mainstream.
August 2, 2018
This book starts off promising and as I kept going that initial burst of interest ebbed and flowed. There wasn’t anything remarkable about the characters. Which generation is the most self absorbed? All of them. There is this wierd need to classify baby boomers, gen x, millennialist. In the end, people are people and this book is just that, about people. Some of their struggles are mundane, some are characteristically adolescent angst, and a few are genuine psychiatric terrors. In our world childhood seems to last longer and longer. Enough of my babbling. It’s a decent read with some great insight into ambulance specialists.
February 27, 2017
So this killed me a little. Exactly the worst/best timing to be reading this.
January 6, 2023
pretty solid concept, pretty poor execution
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January 14, 2023I couldn’t finish this book. Two and a half (okay, 70% done this one) Zoë Whittall books was enough for me. Im going back to spending my time on books I enjoy.
July 23, 2023
3.4/ Good pacing and characters, thought provoking in places as well. I wanted a little bit more story, but good ending.
October 21, 2019
I can't express how much I liked this book. I just wanted to know more about Josh's life.
Brilliant work!!
Brilliant work!!
May 11, 2018
This is the story of a group of 20 somethings in Toronto, told from the perspective of 3 people. Josh is a paramedic and is also trans. Amy and Billy are woman in his life who he knows through a good friend Roxy. This group of friends, many who are queer is somewhat incestuous --- as happens with groups of 20-somethings.
For me, this book was just OK. I found Josh the most interesting character due to his occupation. Most of the others didn't really seem to have "real jobs". The narrative was a bit choppy and I mostly didn't care for most of the characters who seemed pretty self-absorbed.
For me, this book was just OK. I found Josh the most interesting character due to his occupation. Most of the others didn't really seem to have "real jobs". The narrative was a bit choppy and I mostly didn't care for most of the characters who seemed pretty self-absorbed.
September 28, 2009
In her second novel, Zoe Whittall follows a group of twentysomethings struggling to cope with their complicated lives. Trapped somewhere between growing up and being grown-ups, these would-be adults hide behind excessive drinking and partying, and use text messages to relay their emotions.
The story focuses on three troubled young people: Billy, a former teen pop starlet who suffers from sever panic attacks; Josh, a paramedic whose ability to patch up injured patients parallels his inability to repair his own emotional damages; and Amy, a rich kid trying to live the Bohemian indie girl life while dealing with her first broken heart. All three characters are well crafted: at once unique, yet easily recognizable. To her credit, Whittall never shies away from displaying their flaws or their problems, from mental breakdowns to promiscuity.
The trio takes turns narrating, giving each part of the story a distinct voice and flavour. As the novel switches points of view, the story's threads become increasingly intertwined. Initially these revealed connections between both major and minor characters add depth to the plot, but eventually they become somewhat tedious and predictable. By about halfway through, there aren't many options left as to who will hook up with whom, and all of the romantic entanglements begin to seem a bit too convenient. Even the book's climax is fairly obvious.
What offsets the shortcomings of the plot is Whittall's talent for character. This is amply demonstrated in the four short sections depicting emergency scenes that open each part of the book. These vignettes are glimpses into the world of paramedics, with victims and supporting characters alike wonderfully sketched.
(Originally published in Quill & Quire , October 2009)
The story focuses on three troubled young people: Billy, a former teen pop starlet who suffers from sever panic attacks; Josh, a paramedic whose ability to patch up injured patients parallels his inability to repair his own emotional damages; and Amy, a rich kid trying to live the Bohemian indie girl life while dealing with her first broken heart. All three characters are well crafted: at once unique, yet easily recognizable. To her credit, Whittall never shies away from displaying their flaws or their problems, from mental breakdowns to promiscuity.
The trio takes turns narrating, giving each part of the story a distinct voice and flavour. As the novel switches points of view, the story's threads become increasingly intertwined. Initially these revealed connections between both major and minor characters add depth to the plot, but eventually they become somewhat tedious and predictable. By about halfway through, there aren't many options left as to who will hook up with whom, and all of the romantic entanglements begin to seem a bit too convenient. Even the book's climax is fairly obvious.
What offsets the shortcomings of the plot is Whittall's talent for character. This is amply demonstrated in the four short sections depicting emergency scenes that open each part of the book. These vignettes are glimpses into the world of paramedics, with victims and supporting characters alike wonderfully sketched.
(Originally published in Quill & Quire , October 2009)
September 10, 2019
Novel that candidly captures the rush millennial live in, and our longing for a sense of stability and what we've been taught is normal
December 18, 2017
Reading Zoe Whittall’s Toronto-set novel Holding Still For As Long As Possible is kind of like reading a wittier, more exciting version of my urban early-to-mid-twenties queer life in the 2000s. It was fun and nostalgic for me to jump back into this world, but it is uncanny to read a book featuring characters that are so much like you and the communities you’ve known. I mean, in a good and a bad way: these are white, bike-riding, middle-class background, artsy, educated, FAAB queers. Unfortunately, both people of colour and trans women are pretty absent from the world of the book, although this is something that was mostly true in my experiences in similar communities in Halifax, Victoria, and London in that stage of my life.
What I’m saying is that what Whittall is doing in this book is limited, but she’s doing it really, really well. Like, I can’t imagine anyone ever doing a better job. I imagine for a lot of queer girls and trans guys of my generation (who fit the above description, obviously) this book may have been the first one they read where they really felt like it was (queer) literature about and for them, which is pretty fucking cool. It’s also hilarious, in a dark, clever, sometimes cynical, real-life kind of way....
See the full review here:
http://caseythecanadianlesbrarian.wor...
What I’m saying is that what Whittall is doing in this book is limited, but she’s doing it really, really well. Like, I can’t imagine anyone ever doing a better job. I imagine for a lot of queer girls and trans guys of my generation (who fit the above description, obviously) this book may have been the first one they read where they really felt like it was (queer) literature about and for them, which is pretty fucking cool. It’s also hilarious, in a dark, clever, sometimes cynical, real-life kind of way....
See the full review here:
http://caseythecanadianlesbrarian.wor...
November 25, 2015
I found this book by chance, when I was searching for Sally Mann's memoir, "Hold Still." I was intrigued by the cover and description and thought I'd give it a try. As I read it, the world of the characters took on an uncannily familiar quality for me. I soon realized that the "Parkdale gem" where some of the main characters live is just a few sidewalk squares down from the apartment where I spent the past year of my life. The characters, who are my age and live in the vividly described west end of Toronto, had so much in common with me and many of my friends. It was surreal to read Whittall's vibrant prose and sink into her depictions of my former home, to feel as if I were walking alongside the characters as they trekked through my own former haunts.
The familiarity was novel and delightful, but that aside, this is a brilliant book. Warm and dark and heartbreaking and relatable. Painful and sweet all at once. How it has taken me this long to discover Whittall as a writer, I do not know. I am so very glad I've found her and her staggering talent, and I can't wait to read her other works.
The familiarity was novel and delightful, but that aside, this is a brilliant book. Warm and dark and heartbreaking and relatable. Painful and sweet all at once. How it has taken me this long to discover Whittall as a writer, I do not know. I am so very glad I've found her and her staggering talent, and I can't wait to read her other works.
September 11, 2016
This book was SO GOOD. I read it quickly, straight through, and found it utterly absorbing. The complexity of the relationships felt so real and palpable to me, and the use of the alternating narrators was not gimmicky, it made the book make sense in a deep way - it was really a portrait of a tiny corner of a queer community that I found really recognizable, rather than being a book about a single protagonist. There were a lot of potent, visual scenes, and conversations whose awkwardness felt familiar, if a little excruciating. I loved reading this book - it made me feel real, like someone from another time or place could read this book and know something true about my life.
August 3, 2014
I am so very sick of the "centre of the universe", and although I found it trying that this book seems to demand a familiarity with Toronto geography, the rest of the book was all right (if you happen to know a little about Toronto's layout, it will likely increase your enjoyment of the book). There's a nicely-written trans* character whose experience isn't all about being trans* per se. One of the characters is treated terribly by the author (and depression/anxiety seem somewhat trivialized as a result). Still, an okay read.
November 28, 2016
I wasn't liking this much until about two thirds of the way through, but somehow by the end I was liking it a lot. It looks like it's going to be yet another book about people being mean to one another for no reason except that's the human condition, doncha know, but then sometimes instead of resenting each other for no reason at all they decide to love each other for no reason at all, and whoops, suddenly you have high literary fiction where people are a bit optimistic about the human condition.
November 2, 2022
Although an "I-like-the-cover" purchase, this book far surpassed my expectations. The story centers around three young Canadians and the dissolution of long-term relationships while new relationships form. I thought that the characters were brilliant, and I liked the way that the ambulance calls were interjected with the story. I would recommend this book with no reservations, and have already shared it with several friends.
February 13, 2016
i liked it. maybe i really liked it, i can't decide. i loved how well whittall described anxiety and panic attacks, it felt like being understood while i was reading those parts. i also loved how there was a main character who was trans, but that was not the focus of his story. a part of it for sure, but almost (almost) incidental. just part of a group of people living their lives, it was refreshing.
January 10, 2016
So many 20-something feelings captured in one place! Excellent characterization. Strong writing style. A good sense of time and place -- I'm a sucker for setting.
When I got to Life 4, I had a moment of feeling like "shit, this is where we're going? Why? And why didn't I see it coming?" But it passed and, with the exception of how Billy's anxiety was handled, I liked the ending.
When I got to Life 4, I had a moment of feeling like "shit, this is where we're going? Why? And why didn't I see it coming?" But it passed and, with the exception of how Billy's anxiety was handled, I liked the ending.
July 15, 2010
Don't judge this book by the trying-too-hard marketing copy about SARS and Katrina. The characters are excellently-written and I loved the story.
August 21, 2016
This book and its characters really grew on me.
July 4, 2014
zoe whittal is such a brilliant writer
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