Accomodating Brocolli in the Cemetary or Why Can't Anybody Spell, 1st, First Edition

by Vivian Cook

"Accomodating Brocolli in the Cemetary is at once a celebration of spelling and a solace to anyone who has ever struggled with the arcane rules of the English language. As amusing as he is informative, Vivian Cook thrills the reader with more than a hundred entries - from photographs of hilariously misspelled signs to quizzes best taken in private to schadenfreude-rich examples of spelling errors of literary greats - that will tickle the inner spelling geek in every reader." It all adds up to a book that takes a wry look at the hodgepodge evolution of spelling and the eccentric way it actually works.

Genres: Nonfiction, Language, Linguistics, Writing, Reference, Adult, Green

Hardcover

First published August 26, 2004

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.

Vivian Cook is Emeritus Professor of Applied Linguistics at Newcastle University, UK. He is known for his work on second language acquisition, particularly for the concept of multi-competence, and has written technical textbooks and popular books on areas of linguistics ranging from intonation to first language acquisition to spelling.

Reviews

[Spuddie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m not really sure what the purpose of the book is supposed to be. I thought it was somewhat of a rant against bad spellers, but it isn’t, really. It’s a mixed bag of things cobbled together into a hodge podge of semi-related things—tests that see how well you can spell, blurbs about the evolution of the English language and how some words evolved over time, a review of some of the rules and fallacies of spelling, including the “i before e except after c” rule (which doesn’t hold much water, by the way) and various and sundry other things. There were photos of stupid spelling mistakes in newspapers (but they weren’t very good ones) and lists of differences between English English and American English, quotations from various famous people about spelling, lists of ways our modern culture has bastardized the language further with things like internet acronyms, texting language, etc. It was very poorly organized without a clear mission that I could glean. I love words and bits about their origins and the evolution of the language, but these bits weren’t even that well-done. (Oh yes; there was a section about hyphenated words too. LOL) I think the author wrote it just because he was pissed off that people think he’s a woman because his name is Vivian. I dunno! I wouldn’t really recommend the book. It took me about an hour to read through it and I was decidedly unimpressed.

[Igo Lubczański · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just a collection of loose thoughts regarding English and its origin. An odd one.

[Kit McEvoy Gould · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think I'm not the target audience...
Learnt a couple interesting things, read a couple fun poems, but it becomes pretty repetitive.

[Carianne Carleo-Evangelist · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm really unclear on the point of this book. It's a random collection of spelling rules without much cohesion. I also think it suffers from some formatting issues on the Kindle. Many other books in this space, this isn't one to spend time or money on.

[Desiree · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think you might have to be British to truly 'get' this one.

Picked it up thinking it would be similar to "Eats, Shoots and Leaves," but it's more of a compendium of 'fun facts' on etymology, historical spelling, etc. Interesting, but the structure of jumping from one topic to another was difficult to follow and it struck me as a long excuse for why people can't master contemporary spelling. Yes, English is crazy. Yes, spellings have changed over the years. Yes, everyone has a different opinion on whether it matters, and indeed, plenty of eminent writers have struggled with the bizarre rules of our language. But it remains a fact that if one reads copiously and takes the time to investigate any questionable words, spelling correctly is neither out of reach nor unnecessary.

[Clare O'Beara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was interested in and enjoyed the sections on why we spell the way we do, how spellings and usages have changed over time, and different pronunciations of letters.

I found the many photos of shop signage more padding than anything, especially after the first few pages.

There are humorous looks at spelling of English in other countries, on notices, menus and other places.

This is a short book with every item contained on an individual page, so we don't feel we are reading a lecture. I'll come back to it for reference.

[Deirdre · Rating 4 out of 5]

A humourous look at spelling and gramar.

[Connie N. · Rating 2 out of 5]

With such an amusing and clever title, I expected something more from this book. I don't know what exactly, because I suppose it's pretty difficult to make spelling entertaining, but I didn't think this book delivered. There are a few spelling rules included, some of which I didn't know and found useful, but most of the book provides pages and pages of lists of odd spellings (like Kwik instead of Quick) in many different categories, such as musical groups, literary characters, computer autocorrect, thoroughbred horse names, restaurants, etc. There were a few spelling multiple-choice tests included, also mildly interesting. But then there were many pages of American vs. British spelling. It read more like a textbook than anything, and a not very interesting one at that. Disappointing.

The best part was one page of spelling humor:

If GH stands for P as in Hiccough
if OUGH stands or O as in Dough
If PHTH stands for T as in Phthisis
If EGH stands for A as in Neighbour
If TTE stands for T as in Gazette
If EAU stands for O as in Plateau
The right way to spell
POTATO should be GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU!

From Charles Follen Adams An Orthographic Lament:
If an S and an I and an O and a U
With an X at the end spell Su;
And an E and a Y and an E spell I,
Pray what is a speller to do?
Then, if also an S and an I and a G
And an HED spell side,
There's nothing much left for a speller to do
But to go commit siouxeyesighed.

[Hind Abdin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Slim, tacitly pleasing hardcover and most importantly it addresses one of my potential career shifts; linguistics.
I was enchanted by the diverse entities, copious examples and engaging quizzes.
I would have given it five stars if it had contained less of historical anecdotes (history isn't my cup of tea) and black and white illustrations (fairly redundant).
If you're intrigued by the morphology of the ABCs, you will like the book.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great little read on the English language that glorifies its adaptability instead of harking on correct grammar and spelling. I never really thought about how much of the English language we can still understand even when its spelled completely incorrectly, either to show a vernacular or accent, or shortened with numbers or signs. Though not always the post cut and dry the English language is wonderful. Also I do appreciate it the fact the author kept it on the short side for maximum impact.

[Viewpoints Radio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do you find the English Language confusing? We do too! In this book, Vivian Cook dissects the strange ways we spell and pronounce this language. We had the chance to speak with Cook on Viewpoints Radio about this subject. To hear the full story, check out our podcast! https://viewpointsradio.wordpress.com...

[Jessica · Rating 1 out of 5]

I love spelling and grammar, but this was boring and repetitive. I skimmed most of it towards the end.

[Love of Hopeless Causes · Rating 1 out of 5]

Silly reader, why would you think a book about spelling would be helpful? This is for wonks only.

[Lynda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun ride with the craziness of English spelling, including
Difficult Words Spelling Test
1. dessicate desiccate desicate
2. ecstasy exstacy ecstacy
3. adress adres address
4. dumbel dumbbell dumbell
5. accomodate accommodate acommodate
6. necesary neccesary necessary
7. liaison liaision liason
8. pronounciation pronounceation pronunciation
9. ocurence occurrence occurence
10. embarass embaras embarrass

[Diane L · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted this to be good. There were times when the author was using examples from poetry or letters that it was good. Then she would go off into another page or two of examples of how grocers or musicians or Internet speak uses numbers or letters for words. There were far too many such pages along with pages of sign pictures illustrating it, pages and pages of "Is this British or American spelling" when the major differences have already been explained multiple times.

We needed more content. Someone suggested that English needs sixteen vowels so the sound of each could be distinct rather than re-used. A table of those suggestions would have been interesting so the reader could see what those 16 sounds are and how we currently spell them. I'd like to know how we ended up with Q at all when it would be so much simpler to use KW. Did it come with the Norman French in 1066? The list of letters that can be silent was enlightening on one hand and deceptive on the other. I had no idea that many letters could be silent, but several of them occur because they are direct loan words from other languages where they are silent and this fact was skipped.

[Sarah Sammis · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a strange book and I'm not sure how well it travels outside the specific region for which it appears to have been written (southern England). There are some fascinating history lessons on English spelling but many of the more modern examples don't make sense outside of specific dialects. For example: our and awe aren't homophones where I live. They aren't even close! There are also some examples of "American" example which may been regionally correct but aren't nationally correct. Here are some examples: dialog, glamour, catalog. In my neck of the woods, they are spelled: dialogue, glamor, catalogue (except in LIS which goes for the catalog option). Then there is the weird spelling of hiccup (hiccough in the book). I've NEVER seen it spelled hiccough and even found a couple examples from the BBC website of the hiccup spelling. In conclusion, I think this book would have been stronger if it had just stayed with one dialect and its history of spelling rules.

[melydia · Rating 2 out of 5]

The subtitle is actually somewhat misleading here, since it's not actually about why nobody can spell, but rather just a series of anecdotes and quizzes about spelling in general. This is not a book you just sit down and read all at once, but rather something you pick up from time to time and read a few pages. Much of the volume consists of examples of nonstandard (or plain old incorrect) spelling, from lists of band names to photos of business logos. My favorite parts were the ones that dealt with the evolution of language; some of the humor essays on spelling were pretty amusing as well. I suppose if you're obsessed with proper spelling you might enjoy this one, but honestly I'm not surprised I was able to get it for all of a dollar at Borders. It's just a bit too niche for me.

[Julie H. Ernstein · Rating 3 out of 5]

With a title like this, what's not to love?! This small little book is a highly entertaining gem for anyone responsible for grading or cleaning up other people's poor grammar and/or spelling. The book is full of photographs of spelling and punctuation errors, spelling quizes, and a host of other entertaining items. College professors anywhere will find great (by which I mean horrible) examples to share with their students. This was a perfect way to cap the hideous end-of-semester gradefest that has just passed. Let the healing begin!

[Marion · Rating 2 out of 5]

Quotes:

- About the 8th century people discovered how useful word spaces could be. This innovation is believed to have led to silent reading.
'One is tempted to compare the introduction of the space as a word boundary to the invention of the zero in mathematics'.


- Hostile aliens often have long names with plosive sounds shown by 'p/b/t/d/k/g' or 'ch' - Daleks, Vatch, Klingons.

- (Spellings for Drugs). Names with 'z', 'x' or 'q': according to some branding experts, these letters convey a sense of dynamism and
the future.

Xanax
Prozac

[Terry · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had high hopes for this book. Not only was I intrigued by the subject matter, but I found the size and feel of this slim hardcover tactilely pleasing. Unfortunately, only about 25 percent of the entries explicated the vagaries of English spelling in a useful way. Still, it was worth reading through and I am sure I will handle it from time to time.

[Miriam · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting. Perhaps best as something read a bit at a time and not straight through because each page has its own topic. Fun spelling quizzes abound, but none of them can give me a reason why I can't spell.

[Amanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

A good book to carry around for when you only have a few minutes to read. Not really what I was expecting, but it was also a British book with mostly British spelling (there were a few American vs British quizzes).

[Ned Quevedo · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best research works on living language use ever published, it is a source of knowledge for language teachers to explain how language is going to be in a close future time. I really appreciated the way Vivian wrote this successful book.

[Nigel Street]

Not really one to read more browse but provides some interesting anecdotes around the vaguaries of the English language and why some of us can´t spell and how it isn´t terribly surprising given all the influences that there have been over the years.

[Anne Marshall · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some interesting things but overall not dreadfully stimulating or engrossing.

[Rae · Rating 3 out of 5]

An eclectic collection of tidbits about spelling rules and the breaking thereof. I enjoyed this quite a bit.

[Jeff La Marca]

non-fiction,music

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mostly just short tidbits about spelling, words, lots of British spelling stuff . . . it was OK, but not exciting.

[Jenny · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a fun book. I wish there was more content and fewer tests and lists, though. What I learned was interesting, but there wasn't enough information for me.

[Anne Mulder · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had fun with this book, now I have more ammunition as to why I can't always spell right.